Becoming a swinger doesn't happen overnight. It takes long hours of practicin' at the Dance Studio (that means practicin' -- it don't mean datin'; it don't mean socializin'). It takes legions of adoring fans. It takes a good D.J. to spin the grooves. Most importantly, it takes the look. The look is elusive, but it is not beyond reach. To this end, we provide as a public service this guide to mastering the John Travolta look.

1. Slick hairdo. You may have to work on it a long time, and be sure no one hits it, but with a slick do, you'll be the hit of the discotheque.

2. Cleft ("butt") chin. Of course you have to be born with it (although these days plastic surgeons can really work wonders), but if you've got it, the raw sexuality of the cleft chin will supercede even the best polyester threads in your quest to be king of the dancefloor.

3. Polyester shirt with butterfly collar. Utterly essential. Ostentatious prints are good, but we see John here in "formal wear." Collar's size may be accentuated by leaving top three buttons open.

4. Large medallion on gold chain. The medallion is a perfect ornament for the revealed chest hair of the swinger.

5. Leisure suit. Staple of the swinger wardrobe. Vest optional -- it may constrict torso movement, but it further accentuates the already accentuated large collar and medallion-adorned chest hair. Again, John is shown here in formal white, although tan and powder blue are also popular colors.

6. Tight crotch. The peculiar construction of swinger pants is a marvel of modern engineering. So loose at the ankles, yet so tight in the groin...

7. Flared legs ("bell bottoms"). The twirling and flapping of the flares adds excitement to any dance routine. Plus, they're completely impractical!

8. Platform shoes. These items are essential to convey that tall and slender swinger physique. As demonstrated during John's solo dance, they can make your legs appear ten feet long!

9. Lighted dancefloor. Okay, this isn't actually part of your attire, but the flashing lights onlookers see in all directions will surely disorient them or produce seizures, all of which can only help by distracting them from any faltered dance steps.