Welcome to my homepage! It sucks! It's not about celebrities, and we will only have links to sound pages, but you're here anyway so you might as well just read on. I am a computer illiterate and it's dangerous to have me working on a homepage, being as I have no clue as to what needs to be done to create a *good* one. As I see it, however, it's a chance for me to get my ideas and strong opinions out into the open so they can offend the masses! Providing the masses will show up, in my mind I doubt that a million people actually care about celebrities.
Those who do care about celebrities may be offended by my next few comments so I suggest you sit around and feel the hot frustratated anger boil through your viens for a few minutes. Alright, you are never going to see these people, they don't really care about you, they're rich, they have everything they want and they can do a lot of things in the public eye that many of us would get 30 to life for, and they're leading these perfect lives as alcoholics, drug addicts, and what not. They're misunderstood, people don't think they're human. Oh, I feel really bad now. Who cares?! Who cares if no one thinks you're human?! People don't think I'm human, I'm not a fucking suicidal maniac! I deal with it, and I don't even have $2,000,000,000,000.00 to cheer me up when things get hard. Give me a break. If they don't want celebrity I suggest they stop making movies, move to some deserted island somewhere, let the facial hair grow to disturbing lengths (this includes the female celebrities too..), and let life take you where it wants to take you. I bet that once given this opportunity of complete freedom from this celebrity, 10 out of 12 of these "misunderstood" stars, aren't going to take it! Then stop whining! Go make a movie, take another hit, enjoy, just shut up and leave us alone!What really upsets me are these "teen idols", girls from all over the world spend hours drooling and dreaming over these self-obsessed teen actors/actresses (I'm "liberated"..) hoping that one day this person will show up on their doorstep with 12 roses and a wedding ring. Eh eh, not going to happen. Why bother dreaming? It's going to get you disappointed in the end anyway. You might as well go out looking for a real kid. Some down-to-earth guy with freckles and a pot belly. Or a girl if it's your preference...I mean come on people!! What do you really think is going to come out of staring at a magazine all day viewing these pics and becoming totally obsessed with them? Would you like my idea as to what will become of it?? Ohhh...I bet you do. My best guess is some hefty prison time. Stalking is a crime, you know? So instead of oogling a "Teen Idol" go out and find a real boyfriend/girlfriend.
This is especially true in the "popular" music industry. Specifically the "Backstreet Boys", "N'SYNC", and "98 degrees." I can't believe teenaged girls obessesion with these 20 something dickheads who sit around acting like they have talent when all they really do is lip sinc to some song written by the kid in these girls' math class that they make fun of all the time. What ever happened to the time when people who had talent were the ones selling out shows and dominating MTV's 1 hour a day video line up?? I know that I for one miss those days. There are these girls at my high school who just sit around talking about which Backstreet Boy they love the best. It just really pisses me off, because what they don't realize is that in 2 years from now they're going to be so embarrassed. I thought we all learned that lesson way back in the New Kids on the Block era. I actually have a NKOTB cd, I ordered it back in 3rd grade and by the time Columbia House sent it to me I absolutely hated them. I'm a Senior in High School and the aforementioned girls are in some of my classes! They don't even have the fact that they're 3rd graders to fall back on. They're Juniors! And if anyone out there has ever watched TRL then you know exactly what I'm talking about. Remember when MTV used to be so cool? Now I can't even turn it on without seeing yet another Backstreet Boy video. If I see another idiot running around in a muscle shirt singing about how in love he is I'm going to shoot myself. I have had to endure this torture for way too long. Why don't N'SYNC, The Backstreet Boys, and 98 Degrees all get on a plane together? What a tragedy that would be! I think the world could stand to lose 14 preppy college guys.
Then of course there's Britney Spears and that Christina Genie in a Bottle whore. They dance their little choreographed dances half naked talking about how they wanted to be treated like ladies, and how guys need to learn how to "rub them the right way." C'mon. You're making this too easy for me! That's like the Spice Girls jumping around in half-shirts and panties shouting about feminism. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen, and I see it 24 hours a day. Oh, and now MTV is promising the Return of Rock. Thanks, remember when that's was a silent given? Then there's rap. And this is a really sensitive topic because people at my school, who are 100% born-and-inbred racist white-hood-wearing trailor trash, seem to think that because I don't like rap that means I don't like black people. Now that's a racist comment if I ever heard one! But, naturally, I'm the bad guy, it's me who isn't letting these men and women express themselves. Well, quite frankly, it has absolutely nothing to do with the color of anybody's skin, I just don't like rap. I used to, back when rap wasn't synonymous with "hip-hop". I was a huge fan of Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre, and now who do I have to look up to? Puff Daddy? No thank you. If I wanted to watch close up video showing all angles of some chick's gyrating ass I'll just watch Total Request Live, because I'm sure Britney will be on! I'm so sick of MTV that I've actually been turning on VH1 for more than just laughs. So it's either I get to watch videos of women who've never heard of razors or I get to watch Weird Al's Behind the Music yet another time! Ohh, what to choose. So lately I've been spending more time on the computer, meaning rather than having to bear the stigma of being a lazy couch potato who actually enjoys watching t.v., I've now become some sort of "computer nerd." (Can I say that without being beat up, yet?) My advice to America's Youth, turn off the t.v., if you're calling Carson-hang up!, go out and work hard to get a good job. Don't worry about those bitches at school who look down on you because you haven't seen your e-mail come across the screen during "I Do," because, trust me, it's going to be a whole lot more fun when in 10 years you get to look down on them when you're making $100,000/year and they're still living in the same dead-end town you grew up in unhappily married to the High School quarterback and pregnant with their fifth kid. Is that a run-on sentence?
"Deeper Thoughts" by Jack Handey:
"HOW COME the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak."
"EVEN THOUGH he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me, then he kicked me, then he punched me again."
"IF YOU'RE a cowboy, and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine."
"TO ME, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad."
"IF YOUR friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But ONLY if you're serious about adopting the vulture."
"IF I EVER opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control."
"I CAN picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."
"I HOPE that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people."
"WHETHER they ever find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet."
"IF YOU ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy."
"TODAY I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a "shell" if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tinfoil and paper bags."
"WORSHIP the potato? The idea seemed silly to me. But then I thought, what else is more deserving of worship? It's simple, it comes from the earth, and it can kill you if you disobey it."
"WHY DO the caterpillar and the ant have to be enemies? One eats leaves, and the other eats caterpillars. Oh, I see now."
"Sleep Together"Garbage
I got you crawling up a mountain
Hanging round my neck
Got you twisted round my finger
Crawling round my legs
The emptiness
The craziness
Satisfy this hungriness
Darling how would it feel
If we sleep together
Will you like me better
If we cum together
We'll go down forever
If we sleep together
will I like you better
If we cum together
Prove it now or never
Make me a pretty person
Make me feel like I belong
Make me hard and make me happy
Make me beautiful
The emptiness
The craziness
Satisfy this hungriness
Darling how would it feel
(If we sleep together) Nothing satisfies me baby
(If we sleep together) I'll wear something pretty baby
(If we sleep together) Give me what I crave now baby
(If we sleep together) Save the rest for later baby
(If we sleep together) You will drive me crazy baby
(If we sleep together) I save it all for you my baby
If we sleep together
If we sleep together
When you're done taking my quiz come back to my page to see what your score means!
40-50 You are very cool. You answered pretty much all of the questions (or all of them) according to my standards and you should, therefore, be congratulated. (Sorry, but I'm too cool to congratulate you.)
20-35 You are just about average. You could learn a lot from me, to say the least. Just stay away from TRL for a few months and you should recover.
0-15 You are not only undeserving of the oxygen in our atmosphere, but you also have no right to take this quiz OR be at my homepage. OUT! OUT!!!!!!!
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