GUEST STARS
Jacqueline Kim (Lao Ma)
Marton Csokas (Borias)
Grant McFarland (Ming Tzu)
Daniel Sing (Ming Tien)

CAST
Daniel Lim (Ming T'ien, 12 years)
Tai Hadfield (Chuang)
Blair Fraser (Messenger)
Peter Mason (Shopkeeper)
William Kwan (Soldier)

CREDITS
Teleplay by R. J. Stewart
Story by Robert Tapert and R. J. Stewart
Edited by Robert Field
Directed by Oley Sassone

I'm Goin' to Chin

Xena and Gabrielle have set up camp for the night. Xena reaches over for Gabrielle (you know because "best friends" always cuddle in the middle of the night...yes, this was sarcasm) but instead of finding her best bud, all she finds is an empty space. This rouses her out of a good night's sleep and she calls for Gabrielle. She finds her quietly sitting and thinking. Xena wonders if everything is alright.

"Thank you."
"For what?"
"You stuck by me through everything."
"Likewise I'm sure."
"I hope I never disappoint you Xena."
"Impossible."
"I've learned that anything is possible."
(Dare I say foreshadowing?)
Xena and Gabrielle stop their conversation and then Gabrielle says...
"There's someone in the shadows by the palmnut tree."
"I know!"
Suddenly, a man emerges from behind a tree, badly injured and calling Xena's name. Of course, this might not seem unusual (after all, I'm sure injured men call Xena's name all the time), but this man is wearing strange clothing and well...let's just say he's not from Greece. There is a look of immediate recognition as Xena leans the man up against a tree. The man then says, "I was sent by the weak one, who's soft as water but hard as the raging flood." Xena knows exactly what the guy is talking about (can you clue the rest of us in!!), but before he has a chance to elaborate, a bunch of men dressed as ninjas jump out of the bushes and begin to attack Xena (must say, this is one of the coolest fight scenes in Xena history), but Xena is able to defeat all of them with her powerful kicks, punches and one chakram toss. She informs her messenger that his wound is too severe. Before he dies, he utters, "I bring a message to you. The Green Dragon has become too large and must be made small." (Green Dragon? Too Large? Small? Supersize perhaps? I swear I got the same message in a fortune cookie once). Xena knows what she has to do, but Gabrielle is still trying to connect the dots (I was trying to connect the dots too...it's fun). Xena informs Gabrielle that she has to ride towards the rising sun for many days and she makes it clear that she does not want Gabrielle along. Gabrielle wants an explanation. (Gabrielle wants the truth, but can she handle the truth....let's find out!)

"Okay, let's forget the cryptic part. Are you going up against a dragon?"
"No."
"Is the Green Dragon a person?"
"Yes."
"Which person?"
"The one I'm going to kill."
So the truth is now known.

Gabrielle wants to an answer to a very simply question, why. Why does Xena have to travel so far away for the sole purpose of killing someone? "You will never understand," she tells Gabrielle. "After all we've been through you can say that." Xena finally gives in and begins her tale with the words, "to understand what I have to do, you need to understand what was left undone" (insert standard Xena "looking off in the distance, remembering her warlord past and shuddering at the thought" look HERE and begin flashback). "Many years ago as you know, Caesar left his mark on me (insert "Destiny Clip" here). With shattered legs and crippled soul I headed east to lose myself in vengeance. Not against Caesar, but against the entire human race" (insert stock footage of wars, fires, killings, etc.) We are then thrust into Xena's former life as warlord with attitude riding with Borias (aka Solon's long-lost father, and he's H-O-T-T hot). In this introduction, we see Borias and Xena riding together going after Ming Tzu's army. Two men are begging for their lives and Xena rides up to kill one of them (like I said, she's a cold-hearted bitc...oh, this is a family website...let's just say she wasn't a nice person...kids don't try knifing someone when they are begging for their lives), but Borias stops her from killing the other man.

"No, we don't slaughter them."
"I'm telling your Borias, the only way to deal with these scum is through terror."
"And if we kill them all whose left to be terrified."
"Tell Ming what happens to his soliders when he sends them against Borias."
Xena then ask Borias for the dead (don't know why Xena would actually ask permission for the dead..."can I have the dead? Can I? Can I?") She wants to put them to work. (ah, if you saw The Price...oh, this is so much worse.) Chuang and Xena have a little chit-chat about Borias and the two kingdoms of Chin, the Ming and Lao dynasties, near the Great Wall of China. Borias wants to form an alliance with one house before attacking the other. Xena doesn't understand why they just don't attack, take both house one at a time. She just wants to KILL EM ALL! (I wonder if this philosophy won a lot of friends back in those days?).


Xena and Borias met with Ming Tzu at their camp. He brings his son along, Ming T'ien to show him how to handle thieves. Borias wants Ming to remain neutral while they raid Lao's region in return for 1/3 the loot. Ming wants 1/2 (greedy guy...) and it is not an offer, it is a statement of fact! (I love statements of fact...they are just so appealing), but Xena, being the welcoming and gratious host she is, calls him a pig and Ming leaves insulted. Xena is then free to use psychological tacits on his son; she spits water through her teeth, and the kid leaves (hey, anything coming out of anyone's mouth is a scary thought so I share the kids sentiment). Borias is angered that Xena drove Ming away, but Xena just states her diplomatic policy over again....KILL EM ALL!

Gabrielle isn't sure she wants to hear anymore of Xena's tale of greed, war and hate (hey, but I'm sure interested....you would be scared if Xena told you a bedtime story like this one). But Xena boldly declares, "it's about love." Gabrielle looks confused (so much for Xena not being cryptic)! Back to the flashback, and the unwelcome sight of Xena and Borias doing....well, getting some...ah, you know...getting to know one another better on top of a horse (romance between warriors, ain't it romantic!!! I don't know about anyone else, but I kinda of wondered if Solon wasn't convinced during this coupling....maybe that's why Xena trusted her son's upbringing with the Centaurs...ah, but I digress!). But what exactly does Xena mean when she says it's about love...well, we are about to get our answer. Borias welcomes a respresentative of the House of Lao, a beautiful woman named Lao Ma....ah, a very beautiful woman who has grace and refinement...and did I mention she is beautiful. You need to only read the looks on Lao Ma's and Xena's face respectively to see the love.

"You must be Xena. They say you are a dangerous woman."
"Well, they are right."
(Well, it didn't start out as love on Xena's side...ah, considering a couple of minutes later, Xena tries to kill her, but I'm getting a little ahead of myself aren't I?) While hosting a private dinner for three (well, they do say that three is a crowd), Xena believes she sees Lao Ma and Borias getting a little too cozy (I think the opium must have clouded her judgment just a little...drugs do tend to have that effect). And in one of the best subtext lines ever uttered on television, declares her disinterest in men...I mean meat.

"That's my piece of meat your reaching for."
"You're wrong, I don't eat meat."
. Believing this new woman will have a negative, calming, civilizing effect on her man, Xena goes back to what she knows best...she tries to kill her "competition" (I guess Xena didn't get the whole meat/man message!), but before you can say "catfight" Lao Ma kicks Xena's as...I means she defeats Xena in fair combat. Well, not entirely fair considering Lao Ma has mental powers and supreme fighting skills (she doesn't even break a sweat...I guess this is where Xena acquired this skill). Xena never had a chance. Lao Ma believes that negotiations for an alliance are not appropriate any more. Once she leaves, Borias orders Xena out of his camp or he will do some serious damage to her health.

Of course, the ever-resourceful Xena decides to show Borias how things are done. She kidnaps Ming Tien and ransoms him to his father (Hey, give the girl some credit...the plan...it's pure genius...well, okay so things go a little bit wrong...okay, maybe she needed some more planning...) leaving Borias to set up the exchange for a wee-bit of the profits, but Borias has another plan in mind (wow...is everyone always planning in the Ancient times...plans, plans, plans...always with the damn plans that never go right). In a moment of weakness (...ah, a moment of intimacy...a moment of lust...let's just say Xena wasn't particularly paying close attention to her surroundings) and on the receiving end of a kiss from her trusted (said with hint of sacrasm) right-hand (leg) man Borias, Xena is knocked out from behind by Chung and handed over to Ming Tzu as promised. Well, Borias is certainly a catch...not many men would give a woman away from a couple of horses and some bags of gold.

And just when you desperately want to know what is going to happen to our favorite psychotic killer after being betrayed by her lover, the action is shifted back to the present, I mean the past, I mean the flashback ends and we are at the docks. After this long journey over land and after only hearing half the story, Gabrielle decides she's heard enough (I don't know about you, but if my friend stopped a story just when she was knocked unconscious and given over to a hated enemy, I would probably stick around to see how the story ends, but...hey, I'm not Gabrielle, even though I pretend to be at conventions). She still doesn't understand or condone murder and she can't make the rest of the journey with her if this is what she is intent on doing.

"Gabrielle, I'm catching a ship here that will carry me close to the kingdom of Chin. If there was ever a time to turn back, it's now. I understand."
"You owe someone so much that you would just throw away these last few years."
"Yes!"And with that solom "yes" Xena walks away and leaves her best friend to ponder the implications of what has just occured...(little bit of a tip...never tell a trusted, valued best pal that you would throw away years of friendship for anything...just be willing to accept the consequences...that's all I'm saying).

Back to flashback as Xena looks out into the great sea with a look on her face that just cries "flashback" or "irregular" take your pick (oh, I don't know if toliet humor is appropriate at this time, but hey, what the hell, you only live once). The Evil Ming (ah, why am I getting a Flash Gordon Flashback...anyway) Tzu that is wants to take Xena out for a little bit of fun...at her expense. She's to be haunted by Ming, his son and their pack of hounds, but before she is set loose, Ming encounters Lao Ma. She gives his son a present, a silk piece embrodied with Green Dragon (lights should be flashing and alarms should be sounding because the mysterious has been solved...the Green Dragon, the kid, the mute boy is the person Xena has to kill). But before we have time to dwell on this discovery, Xena is set loose in the forests of Chin for some forced jogging (sort of hard to do when the bones in your legs haven't healed properly from a meeting with a wooden hammer). Lao Ma finds her however and decided to help her giving her reasons simply as her special power to see into the souls of others. Xena is capable of great good, but she does not know it yet (hey, that sounds like a fortune cookie I got once too...). Seeking shelter from the hounds, the Evil Ming and the Green Dragon aka Silent Son (wow, this sounds like it could be a cool comic book series...the Evil Ming, Green Dragon...), Lao Ma takes Xena into her home, but it is not long before Ming and his hounds follow Xena's trail right to the house. Lao Ma denies hiding Xena when confronted, but Ming orders the room searched. The search turns up zip even though Xena is hiding right under their nose...in Lao Ma's bath.

Struggling to keep herself underwater, Xena looks like she could pass out at any moment from lack of oxygen, but before she does, Lao Ma decides to come to her aid by passing her some......slipping her the...ah giving her some AIR (minds out of the gutter people)! You would think Ming would be a little suspious of someone sticking their entire head underwater, but I guess this is how things are done in Chin.


Once Ming Tzu leaves, Lao Ma begins the seduction...ah I mean she gives Xena a bath, combs her hair and dresses her in beautiful clothing (Kissing, baths, and a new warobe...sounds like my last relationship). Xena cleans up nice. Amazing what some water and soap will do for a warlord!

The flashback comes to abrupt end as we see Xena getting herself ready for the kill by slipping on something a bit more comfortable...okay, so she gets naked and covers herself in mud...you don't think that's comfortable! As makes her way into the castle with a knife and a smile (could never figure out why she gets naked...maybe as a distraction...hey, if someone shows up to kill wearing nothing but a smile, chances are the last thing I'd notice is that knife heading straight to my heart), she has flashbacks (it's just been on of them "flashback" kind of days I guess) of Gabrielle and some of the lessons of love and forgiveness she has taught her (insert misty memories from "Is There a Doctor in the House," "Callisto," "Return of Callisto," and "The Price"). Xena shakes of these thoughts and sets her sights on what she has to do. Making her way quietly through a room full of empty, spinning birdcages (I don't know...maybe the propmaster and art director decided to have a little fun), she enters the bedroom and the moment of truth has arrived. As she raises the knife the covers are thrown back and...(insert "moment of truth" music here) it's Gabrielle instead of the Green Dragon.

Shock, anger,disbelief, disappointment, love, hate, and other emotions I'm having a heard time thinking of right now all register on Xena's face as Gabrielle can only say, "I'm sorry Xena, I couldn't let you do this." Ming Tien enters the room wearing his "Hey, I'm the Green Dragon" t-shirt (actually, it's just a regular, old traditional Chinese outfit with the Green Dragon on it...I wonder if all of his outfits have this name on them...how about his underwear...hey, I was just asking...). Ming Tien speaks...that's right I said he speaks...the silent son has become the talking tyrant..."Lao Ma said you would return one day. Lock her up," he says in a matter-of-fact way. Xena is left to look into Gabrielle's eyes for answers and to wonder what did she do that was so horrible to warrant a betrayal by her best friend. In usual climatic fashion..."TO BE CONTINUED" is flashed on screen just when things are getting interesting.

How to Betray your friend...In about an Hour...Or Points-O-Interest.

• The third installment of the rift series...and this foreshadows the murder, betrayal, lies, betrayal, emotion, and ah, betrayal that will come to highlight the third season...let's just call it a long running theme. This episode is blessed with good actors, good writing, beautiful, breath-taking visuals, enough great fighting scenes to last a life time and an ending no one was expecting (or at least I wasn't). Xena at its very best.
• Borias...father to Solon...nice to meet you...so where did Solon get his blond hair from?
• Recycled Prop Alert. During the "impaling heads" sequence along the Great Wall of Chin...I mean China, Orpheus head was among them...the second one from the beginning.
• How did Gabrielle get to Chin ahead of Xena? Well, she could have taken a faster boat, hired a good car service. This question that plagued the Xenaverse would not be answered until the later episode "Forget Me Not."
• Best Line of the Episode: "Well, they're right!" Xena's response of Lao Ma's inquiry into her reputation. Runner-up: "You owe someone so much, you would just throw away these last few years!"
• Homage Alert: Raiders of the Lost Ark as Xena deposes of the bad guy with two swords by simply firing away her trusty chakrum.
• Subtext Alert: Hmm...does Xena normally cuddle up with the Bard during the night? Check out the opening sequence when Xena draps her arm over the non-present Gabrielle. Hey, maybe it just gets cold during the night. Aha, if you wanna look at it that way...
• Light Moment: the way Gabrielle says "there's someone in the shadow by the palm-nut tree."

Assassination Tips or My Warped, Weird Theories

Coming Soon....

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Image Links

Mary D's Debt I Montage

Michelle's Debt I Picture Gallery

Debt I Grab Bag

• Whoosh's Debt I Episode Review