In this one, Groucho, as Professor Wagstaff, becomes the president of Huxley college. Huxley, however, fires its president each time they lose in football to their rival Darwin (Get it? Huxley, Darwin? If that doesn't make any sense to you, look up those names in an encyclopedia. You'll be glad you did). So, Wagstaff's son (Zeppo) advises his father to hire a couple of ringers. Groucho, of course, hires Chico and Harpo instead. Anyway, Huxley wins, and Groucho, Chico, and Harpo all get the girl. I don't know or care what happens to Zeppo.
If this film is missing anything, it is Margaret Dumont, who is such a fine foil to the brothers in so many of their films. Still, Thelma Todd is pretty and funny as the female lead. It's a change to see Groucho lust after a woman for her looks instead of her money. All four of the brothers sing "Everyone Says I Love You" to her at some point (Harpo plays the song on the harp, of course) with varying levels of hilarity. Best is probably Groucho's version. After singing (accompanied on guitar) in his thin reedy voice, he grows irritated with Todd, kicking her out of the canoe they are riding.
The great moments from this film are many: the opening musical number ("Whatever it is, I'm Against it/I Always Get My Man"), the speakeasy, the football game. And then there are the lines. "You're a disgrace to our family name of Wagstaff, if such a thing is possible." "Going to college for twelve years and fooling around with the college widow? Why, when I was your age, I went to three colleges and fooled around with three college widows."
Chico doesn't get many good lines, though he is very funny calling the football plays in rhyme. Harpo, however, really shines in this one. Things he produces from his pockets include a cup of coffee, a sword and a fish (the password is "swordfish"), and a candle burning at both ends ("There's something you can't burn at both ends, and I thought it was a candle.") He is, as always, part angel, part demon. His funniest moment comes when a pair of roughs stip Chico down to his underwear. They then command Harpo to undress. He takes off all his outer clothing in a single movement, a visual gag later copied in The Naked Gun, and covers himself with his hands, partly coyly, partly as an exhibitionist. His facial expression is indescribable and priceless.
Horse Feathers isn't the best-known Marx Brothers film, but it's one of the funniest. It is canon from the comedic gods of this century.
Postscript: how did Groucho get the job of college president in the first place?
Three stars
Copyright 1997 by Dale G. Abersold
