Before I roast both Spielberg and his movie with my rapier-like wit, I will grudingly admit that I liked some aspects of it. Once again, Pete Postlethwaite proves he is one of the most imposing presences in film today, outclassing the rest of the film by about a million points. Peter Stormare (you'll remember him as the thug in Fargo who found a new use for a wood chipper), as one of Postlethwaite's fellow dinosaur hunters is also pretty cool, a nasty Aryan Tim Roth. There is one sequence which must rank among Spielberg's finest suspenseful moments: a trailer hangs over a cliff, with a woman inside (Julianne Moore) lying on a window which is slowly breaking: we see cracks in the glass form and spread like spiderwebs. A truly novel image.
Beyond that, there's little more to say (positive, at least). As often happens with Spielberg, there's a little kid in danger for no apparent reason. There's a bald fat guy (Richard Schiff) who is the first to die. And there are way too many action scenes for any one movie.
It seems almost pointless to recount the plot, as just about everyone has seen the movie already. But, in order to make this review a truly timeless piece of prose: four years after the events of Jurassic Park, it is apparent that "Something Has Survived." On a second island, dinosaurs flourish, and two teams are sent to investigate what is going on: a group of scientists (the Good Guys), and an expedition of evil businessmen and hunters (boo, hiss). It seems that John Hammond (Sir Richard Attenborough) lost control of his company which is now run by his nephew (Arliss Howard), who wants to open a dinosaur zoo in San Diego. The scientists, consisting of Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum again), his paleontologist girlfriend (Moore), the doomed fat guy (Schiff), and a videographer (Vince Vaughn), wreak a little havoc on the hunders in the name of animal rights (aww). Too bad that, as a result, dozens of people die horribly. I am dumbfounded by the idea to cast the Howard character as the villain who eventually gets comeuppance, when in fact it is the Vaughn character who deserves to be a T. Rex snack. I guess that would be breaking the unwritten Hollywood code that states that only ugly people die violently and that the death of ugly people is funny. People who achieve a certain level of cuteness have immortality thrust upon them. Anyway, lots of people get eaten, blah blah blah, doesn't this plot summary just waste time and space?
I did like Janusz Kaminski's cinematography, and at least John Williams' score wasn't so aggresively mediocre as in Jurassic Park. The main fault of the film is the terrible screenplay. Nothing makes any sense: scenes jump from one to another with little or no feeling of continuity. "When in doubt," the screenwriters seem to be saying to themselves, "show another guy being ripped apart by a dinosaur. Of course, of the "Good Guys," only the fat man dies: the other scientists remembered their "invincibility against velociraptors" charms (I'm sure if there had been a black man in a major role, he would have been the first to die).
Finally, and most annoying of all, is something pointed out on the "MST3K Summer Blockbuster Review." This movie is just chockablock with "Spielberg's trademark signature scenes of people looking." Yes, looking with awe, with wonder at something offscreen. Never at each other, or at something the audience can see, but something just amazing, allowing us the amazing view of Richard Schiff's tonsils. No wonder Spielberg can make movies under budget: he doesn't have to show us anything neat, he just has to show people reacting to some awe-inspiring view.
To conclude: why did he bother to make this waste of celluloid? Oh, to make money, how silly of me.
Two stars
Copyright 1997 by Dale G. Abersold
