Battle #8: Firebat meets Firegod
Player Name: Firebat [1-0]
FIREBAT is at a DEBRIEFING!
...and in conclusion, it should be obvious that these charges of desertion against me are groundless.
CAPTAIN: And why was that, corporal?
Well, sir, because I was teleported away to participate in a gladitorial brawl against domesticated Pokemon.
CAPTAIN: A brawl...against Pokemon. Right. Are you feeling okay, corporal?
Never better, sir.
CAPTAIN: Huh. You're not...dizzy, naucous, anything like that?
No, sir. Not at all.
CAPTAIN: Really. Y'know corporal, I think maybe you've been under too much strain. I'm putting you up for two weeks shore leave...
Sir! I can't go on leave now! There is an Infested Terran that tried to kill me, named Explanation...he's a threat to the entire Terran Army!
CAPTAIN: Sure he is, corporal...
No, really sir! I have to find him!
CAPTAIN: You've got two weeks to find all the boogy men you want, okay?
But...sir...
CAPTAIN locked FIREBAT out of the OFFICE!
*Sigh* Yes, sir...
FIREBAT boarded the TRANSPORT!
TRANSPORT arrived on EARTH!
Earth. Every day I'm here...I get weaker. And every day Charlie's in the bush...he gets stronger.
FIREBAT kicks CHARLIE!
Dammit Charlie, get out of that bush! You're supposed to be helping me find this Explanation guy.
CHARLIE: Okay, but did I ever mention how weird it is that you legally changed your name to Firebat?
Well I love the military, and I sure wasn't going to go by Percy my whole life. Now go find that traitor!
CHARLIE: Aye, aye, Percy.
Hey, don't make me demonstrate the rectal use of a flamethrower on you.
CHARLIE left to find EXPLANATION!
Good, while that inexplicably helpful stranger finds Explanation, I'm gonna get a tan.
FIREBAT lies on BEACH!
AGUA appeared!
AGUA: Maybe you should take the full body armor off first.
Are you the webmaster of Agua Version on the Network?
AGUA: No, that's Aqua; I'm Agua. Anyway, did I give you permission to lay on my beach?
Don't try that crap with me, I know for a fact that this is Steven Spielberg's private beach that I'm trespassing on.
AGUA: I am Water-God, greatest of all gods, and I can claim whatever beaches I wish!
You're the Water-God, mortal enemy of all things flammable?
AGUA: Why, are you flammable?
In fact, I am!
AGUA: So you would want to die a horrible fiery death, with no water to save you?
Well...that's not exactly what I meant...but, um...
FIREBAT sent out FIREBAT!
AGUA: I see. Very clever retort, by the way.
Didn't I tell you to shut up already?
AGUA sent out AGUA!
I'll have to use all my military training, since fire is weak against water.
AGUA used HYDRO PUMP!
It's super effective!
Ow, maybe I should've payed more attention in boot camp.
FIREBAT used KNIFE!
It had no effect on enemy AGUA!
AGUA: Stupid, I'm a god, remember?
I really need to start picking weaker enemies.
AGUA: Too late now, prepare to die!!
CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE!