MYOKAWA is one hell of a guy; he heard I was having writng troubles, and rushed to help me out. If only all my fans were like this. (Right, like I have any other fans)
He also went to the trouble of writing a disclaimer for the battle, so there would be no hard feelings on the part of the contestants.
Disclaimer: I mean no disrespect to Slame whatsoever. Or Gorbachev, for that matter. I thought up Garbachoff before I realized what was happening- a victim of my spontaneous writing style. I respect Mr. Gorbachev very much, and I apoligize for any who took offense. I also respect Flame- as much as Crimson, White, and Aqua, in fact. Please try to understand that this battle does not neccessarily reflect the author's opinions.
[Editor's Note: Jason Ross didn't create Doompuff, Eric did. Ah well.]
Fan Battle #2: The Pointless One
Player name: Bob MUG [No record whatsoever]
Author: MYOKAWA@aol.com
HEY! Whattaya mean NO RECORD? I was in uh...several battles but I sent them in to Blue Version when Jason stopped the updates. BUT I WAS IN ONE!
THE POINTLESS ONE appeared!
Wha...?!? What is it?
THE POINTLESS ONE is a super-hyper-unintelligent blob shaped like an evil rabid jigglypuff and wearing a bikini!
Where'd it come from?
The AUTHOR'S mind!
Yeesh, I wouldn't want to head in there. So what's the point of this?
NO POINT! THE POINTLESS ONE is POINTLESS!
Then why is the author writing this battle?
BECAUSE AUTHOR got INSPIRATION from CRIMSON VERSION'S DILLEMMA AND is WRITING this battle for his own twisted PURPOSES!
Which are?
I'M not TELLING!
Oh well, might as well make the most of this.
THREE THOUSOND KENNYS appeared!
THREE THOUSOND KENNYS died a horrible death!
Why did you do that?
BECAUSE the AUTHOR felt LIKE it!
Hey, if you're going to capitalize every other word, why not put all words in caps?
GOOD point!
NARRATOR SWITCHES TO CAPS LOCK!
GIGANTIC EVILEE RABID JIGGLYPUFF OF HORRIBLE PAINFUL DEATH APPEARED!
Hey! I thought we were finished with the Doompuff spinoffs!
RIGHT!
GIGANTIC EVILEE RABID JIGGLYPUFF OF HORRIBLY PAINFUL DEATH DISAPPEARED!
KITCHEN SINK appeared!
Hey, isn't that a Doompuff spinoff?
NO! DOOMPUFF SPINOFFS MUST HAVE A DOOMPUFF-SOUNDING NAME, BE INVINCIBLE, AND OTHER RANDOM GIBBERISH!
What kind of lardhead dreamed that up?
JASON ROSS!
Oh...those are very good guidelines, very sensible.
STOP TRYING TO SUCK UP TO THE RED WEBMASTER!
Geez, sorry.
JASON ROSS HEARD THAT!
JASON ROSS IS ANGRY!
JASON ROSS WANTS TO FIGHT!
JASON ROSS ALLIED WITH KITCHEN SINK!
Hey, aren't you going to give me a chance to fight?
NO!
JASON ROSS SENT OUT JASON ROSS!
That was predictable.
SHUT UP!
KITCHEN SINK SENT OUT GARBACHOFF!
What is that?
BOB MUG PULLED OUT MUGADEX!
Don't use that. It makes me sound like a mugger.
BOB MUG POINTED MUGADEX...ER, POKEDEX AT GORBACHOFF!
POKEDEX: Garbachoff. A random creation from deep inside the mind of the author. It is known to do horrible things to people named Bob.
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! RUN!
BOB SHOUTED AT NOBODY IN PARTICULAR!
Hey, shut up, or I'll pull Mashu-Sama from this convieniently located Flame Version portal.
NARRATOR PULLED OUT NARRATORDEX!
NARRATORDEX: Mashu-Sama: Anthropomorphic Raichu. Specializes in narrator killing.
UMM...er...BOB RAN AWAY!
Good. Whew, all that running has made me pretty thirsty. I think I'll pop open a nice cold can of Coca Cola(tm)!
BOB IS SOLICITING!
No i'm not, i'm making blatantly obvious references to the most bestest soft drink in the world! DUHHHH!
NARRATOR DOESN'T THINK MOSTST BESTEST IS CORRECT GRAMMAR!
Umm...do you see that portal over there? All I have to do is press this button, and the portal to Flame will be flund wide open...
FLAMEBOY APPEARED!
FLAMEBOY: Ha ha! Flame is higher than Crimson! Flame is higher than Crimson! Hee hee hee!
CRIMSON WEBMASTER BOOTED FLAMEBOY INTO THE STRATOSPHERE!
FINAL RESULTS:
FLAMEBOY LOST VERSUS CRIMSON NARRATOR!
BOB MUG LOST VERSUS KITCHEN SINK!
Beaten by a sink. How humiliating. Almost as bad as being whipped by a tree.
KITCHEN SINK APPEARED!
THIRTY THOUSOND TREES APPEARED!
Erm...I'm outta here!
BOB RAN AWAY!
AGAIN!