1. Duff Beer
2. Duff Malt Liquor
3. Duff Dry
4. My remaining braincells
5. My liver transplant
6. My best friend Moe the bartender
7. My late pet turtle Penelope
8. My 3rd best friend Homer Simpson
9. Pretzels
10. Eating raw cookie dough straight from the tube
11. The playdude channel
12. Salted peanuts
13. Memory loss
14. I forgot
15. The nice soft saw dust on Moe's floor that cushions your head when you fall on it
16. Knowing I'll never get arrested for Drunk Driving because my car was repossessed.
17. Baloney sandwhichs
18. The brilliant humor on cocktail napkins
19.The constant whirling sensation
20. My optimistic outlook on life
21. Sleeping on the job
22. Sleeping it off
23. My TV Remote Control
24. My Charlie's Angels Poster
25. The fact that I haven't been evicted yet this year
26. Country songs that make me weep
(basically, that's all of them)
27. Happy hour
28. Gutso
29. Cocktail weenies
31. Hungry Man TV dinners
32. Dean Martin
33. Visine
34. Pepto Bismol
35. Those Hefty Unemployment checks
36. Crashing Parties
37. Chewing tobacco when I can afford it
38. Duff beer commercials
39. Flowing my bliss
40. Duff Light
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