QUOTES FROM SEASON 2 OF THE X-FILES



***Little Green Men***


Scully: "So you've been seeing elves all your life?"
Mulder: "No, in my case Little Green Men."

Mulder: "I live for Bach."

Scully: "So, whenever he's away, I feed his fish."

Scully: "That would be bad for the fish."

Samantha: "Fox! Fox! help me!... FOX!"

Mulder: "Samaaaaantha! Samaaaaaanthaaaa!...."

Mulder: "Good thing it wasn't a double jeopardy question."

Mulder: "Noho on the rojo." (Don't touch the red [button])

Mulder: "Four dollars for the first hour of parking is criminal. What
         you've got better be worth at least 45 minutes."

Mulder's Mystery Woman: "Mulder, you hounded me to have lunch with you
                         today, then you don't show. You're a pig!"

Mulder: "Before I could only trust myself. Now I can only trust you.
         And they've taken you away from me."

Mulder: "They came, Scully. The ones who took her. They were here."

Scully: "Evidence is worthless if you're dead."

Mulder: "I still have my work. I still have you. I still have myself."


***The Host***


Mulder: "Three species disappear every day. Who knows how many new
         ones are being created?"

Mulder: "It's kind of hard to make an appointment when you're up to
         your ass in raw sewage."

Mulder: "This isn't where you tell me some terrible story about sushi, is
         it?"
Scully: "Not unless you'd like to hear what you can catch from a nice rare
         steak."

Scully: "...it's not a creature that goes around attacking people."
Mulder: "Well, that's good.  I'd hate to have to tell Skinner that his
         suspect is a giant, blood-sucking worm."

Scully: "Is this seat taken?"
Mulder: "No, but I should warn you, I'm experiencing violent
        impulses."
Scully: "Well, I'm armed, so I'll take my chances."

Mulder: "You know sometimes it just gets hard to smile when they ask
         you to bend down and grab your ankles, you know?"

Mr. X: "You have a friend at the FBI"

Mulder: "Lovely."

Scully: "I want you to know that I'd consider it more than a professional
         loss if you decided to leave."

Scully: "Is this seat taken?"
Mulder: "No, but I should warn you, I may reek a bit of the sewer."

Scully: "I'm sorry. Felt like old times there for a second."

Scully: "Look Mulder, I don't know what to say, but I wouldn't betray
         a confidence."

Sewage Plant Guy: "560,000 people a day call my office on the
                   porcelain telephone."

Skinner: "This should have been an X-File."

Skinner: "We all take our orders from someone, Agent Mulder."

Mr. X: "Reinstatement of the X-Files must be undeniable."


***Blood***


Mulder: "Hey, Frohike! Can I borrow these?
Frohike: "If I can have Scully's phone number."

Spencer: "Things like this aren't supposed to happen here."
Mulder: "42 year old real estate agent murders 4 strangers
         with his bare hands.  That's not supposed to happen
         anywhere."

Spencer: "Played softball with this guy over Labor Day.  He
          was one of those nice guys.  Couldn't play and didn't bitch
          about being stuck in right field..."
Mulder: "What's wrong with right field?"
Spencer: "Always the first to shake hands at the end of the
          game... didn't matter whether he won or lost..."
Mulder: "Gotta have an arm to play right field..."
Spencer: "Bought a round of beers afterwards even though he
          didn't drink..."
Mulder: "I played right field."

Mulder: "There have been reported abductee paranoia in UFO
         mass abduction cases..."
Scully: "I was wondering when you'd get to that."
Mulder: "...I find no evidence of this to be the case.

Winter: "Agent Mulder?  Larry Winter, county supervisor."
Mulder: (Showing gloved hand) "Pardon my rubber."

Mulder: "Mrs. McRoberts?"
McRoberts: "Yes?"
Mulder: "This is sheriff Spencer.  I'm Agent Fox Mulder from
         the Federal Bureau of Investigation.  May we come in?"
McRoberts: "I'm late for work."
Mulder: "You can blame me.  Been having some car trouble?"
McRoberts: "That's my husband's department."

McRoberts: "S'okay if I have my breakfast?"
Mulder: "It's the day's most important meal..."

Frohike: "Hmm..."
Byers: "In our April edition of The Lone Gunman we ran an article on
        the CIA's new CCD-TH 2138 fiber-optic lens micro video
        camera."
Langly: "Small enough to be placed on the back of a fly."
Mulder: "Imagine being one of those flies on the wall of the Oval
         Office..."
Frohike: "Been there... Done that..."
Byers: "That is an Eurasian Cluster Fly.  They infest vegetation like,
        uh, apples or cherries and can inflict a great deal of damage
        to crops."
Langly: "This one's probably been irradiated to control propagation."
Byers: "Or, agents of competing South American agricultural
        corporations posing as Franklin City employees are releasing
        fertile flies to destroy the crop."
Frohike: (Dunks fly in petrie dish, fly fries) "Nope.  This bug's been
         nuked."
Mulder: (Patting Byers on back) "It was a fine effort, though.  Have
         you ever come across this chemical compound?"
Langly: "LSDM.  Obviously you haven't read our August edition of TLG?"
Mulder: "Oh, I'm sorry, boys.  It arrived the same day as my
         subscription to Celebrity Skin."
Byers: "Come over here."
Frohike: (Playing with night goggles) "So, Mulder?  Where's your
          little partner?"
Mulder: "She wouldn't come... She's afraid of her love for you."
Frohike: "She's tasty."
Mulder: "You know, Frohike, it's men like you that give perversion a
         bad name..."

Winter: "I checked up on you.  You have a penchant for 'spooky'
         evidence."
Mulder: "Don't start with that tired crap.  Don't start
         diverting blame..."

Mulder: "Scully, are you familiar with subliminal messages?
Scully: "You mean like sex in ice cubes in liquor ads? That's
         paranoia."

Mulder: "He's probably one of those people that thinks Elvis
         is dead..."
Scully: "Mulder, I was wrong.  Exposure to the insecticide
         *does* induce paranoia."
Mulder: "I think this area is being subjected to a controlled
         experiment."
Scully: "Controlled by who?  By the government, by a corporation,
         by Reticulans?"

Scully (noticing ripped-out doorbell): "This is odd..."
Mulder: "Frustrated Jehovah's Witness?"

Cell-Phone: ALL DONE  BYE BYE.


***Sleepless***


Krycek: "I don't appreciate being ditched like somebody's bad date."
Mulder: "Sorry if I hurt your feelings."
Krycek: "Where do you get off copping this attitude? I mean, you don't
          know the first thing about me."
Mulder: "Exactly."
Krycek: "You know, back at the academy, some of the guys used to make
          fun of you."
Mulder: "Oh, stop it, or you're going to hurt *my* feelings."

Mulder: "Well, unless they got to his appendix through his neck..."

Krycek: "Puts a whole new spin on virtual reality."


***Duane Barry***


Official: "Mulder, why are you so paranoid?"
Mulder: "It's not paranoia when you're right."

Scully: "Mulder, it's me. I just had something incredibly strange
         happen.  This piece of metal that they took out of Duane
         Barry, it has some kind of code on it. I ran it through a
         scanner, and some kind of serial number came up. What the
         hell is this thing, Mulder? It's almost... it's almost as if
         somebody was using it to catalog him...
         <breaking glass, scuffling, etc.>
          Mulder! Mulder! I need your help! ...MULDER!"

Kazdan: "He's bent on taking the doctor with him to an alien abduction
         site, only he can't quite remember where the site is so he
         stopped at a travel agency."

Kazdan: "...So whatever crap ya gotta make up about spacemen or
         UFOs, just keep him on the phone."

Mulder: "Duane?"
Duane: "Yeah?"
Mulder: "This is Special Agent Fox Mulder.  Look I want to try to help
         you."
Duane: "Yeah?  Well, we're just sitting here waiting for, uh,
        travel plans."

Kazdan: "They would like it done as neatly and cleanly as possible."
Mulder: "Well you're getting off to a hell of a start."
Rich: "Negotiation IS a process, Agent Mulder."
Mulder: "Well if you just wanted somebody to come down and read
         the script you didn't have to bring me out..."

Mulder: "Would you like to know what they do to a woman's
         ovaries?"
Kazdan: "Not particularly."
Mulder: "Well then understand that you might have to alter your
         approach a little bit here."
Krycek: "Is there anything I can do?"
Kazdan: "Yeah.  What's your name again?"
Krycek: "Krycek."
Kazdan: "Krycek.  Have you got your notepad?"
Krycek: "Yeah..." (starts pulling it out from jacket pocket)
Kazdan: "Grande, 2% cappuchino with vanilla.  Agent Rich?"

Duane: "It's like living with a gun in your head.  And never
        knowing when it's gonna go off..."
Mulder: "You can let the others go, Duane... Let the others go
         and take me."
Duane: "Aw, they heard you talk like that, they gonna have your
        ass!" (laughs)
Mulder: "I don't care about that, Duane."
Duane: "No.  I wouldn't do that to you.  Besides, Doc -n- I got
        an appointment.  Ain't that right, Doc?"


***Ascension***


Agent: "What are you so paranoid about, Mulder?"
Mulder: "Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because I find it hard to trust
         anyone."

Krycek: "The US Department of Transportation estimates that over
         190,000 fatal car crashes every year are caused by
         sleepiness?"
Mulder: "Did they estimate how many people are put to sleep
         listening to their statistics?"

Cancer Man: "We tell you only what you need to know."
Krycek: "I think I have the right to know."
Cancer Man: "You have no rights.  Only orders to be carried out.  If
             you have a problem with that we'll make other
             arrangements."

Mulder: "Why?  Do they have something on him?"
Mr. X: "They have something on everyone, Mr. Mulder.  The
        question is when they'll use it."

Mr. X: "They only have one policy: Deny Everything."

Skinner: "There is only one thing that I can do, Agent Mulder.
          As of right now, I'm reopening the X-Files.  That's what
          they fear the most."

Mrs Scully: (Handing Mulder back Scully's cross) "When you find her,
             give it to her."


***3***


Officer (to Mulder): "You are really upsetting me... on several
levels."

Mulder: "They have the same feeble, literal grasp of the bible as all
         those big-hair preachers do."

"Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood shall have eternal
 life, and I will raise him up on the last day."
                      --(John 6:54) Written in blood on wall

John: "Don't you want to live forever?"
Mulder: "Not if drawstring pants come back into style."

John: "Look, what nobody knows is that there is no after-life. I know
       this, but listen, listen. I know this, because, when we prolong
       our lives by taking theirs, all I see is such horror, in their
       eyes. And that's because at that moment, they're face to face
       with death and then suddenly they realize there's nothing else.
       There's no heaven, there's no soul; there's just rot and
       decay."

John: "He is. A spirit is one who believes. He knows we are possible."


***One Breath***


"The spirit is the truth."
                      --Inscription on Scully's tombstone

Cancer Man: "I'm in the game because I believe what i'm doing is
             right."
Mulder: "Right? Who are you to decide what's right?"
Cancer Man: "Who are *you*?"

Lone Gunmen: "Mulder, you look down. You're welcome to come over
             on Saturday. We're going to jump on the internet
             and nitpick the scientific inaccuracies of Earth
             2."
Mulder: "I'm doing my laundry."

Mr X: "You're a damn schoolboy, Mulder. You have no idea, no
       idea."
Mulder: "OK, then tell me. Tell me.

Mr. X: "You're my tool, you understand? I come to you when I need
        you."

Mulder: "That's very politically correct."
Melissa: "That's very human."

Mr. X: "I used to be you; I was where you are now. But, you're not me,
        Mulder. I don't think you have the heart."

Cancer Man: "If you're having trouble sitting on Mulder, Assistant
             Director, Skinner, I'm sure you know that we would have
             no trouble."

Mulder: "Since I am unfamiliar with any such incident, sir, no,
         how *would* I know that?"
Skinner: "Knock it off."
Mulder: "How does it feel? Constant denial of everything,
         questions answered with a question."

Skinner: "I want to know what happened, dammit!"

Melissa: "Why is it so dark in here?"
Mulder: "Because the lights are off."

Cancer Man: "Don't try and threaten me, Mulder. I've watched
             presidents die."

Skinner: "We all know the field we play on and we all know what can
          happen in the course of the game. If you were unprepared for
          all the potentials, then you shouldn't step on the field."

Cancer Man: "If people were to know of the things I know, it would all
             fall apart."

Cancer Man: "I have more respect for you, Mulder. You're becoming a
             player."

Cancer Man: "You can kill me now, but you'll never know the truth."

Skinner: "I'm afraid to look any further beyond that experience. You?
          You are not."

Skinner: "Agent Mulder, every day, every life is in danger. That's
          just life."

Melissa: "Why is it so dark in here?"
Mulder: "Because the lights aren't on."

Melissa: "I don't have to be psychic to see that you're in a very dark
          place."

Melissa: "Only the light..."
Mulder: "Oh, enough with the harmonic convergence crap. You're
         not saying anything to me."

Melissa: "You know, just because it's positive and good, doesn't mean
          it's silly or trite."

Mulder: "I brought you a present. Superstars of the Super Bowl."
Scully: "I knew there was a reason to live."


***Firewalker***


Pierce: "I'm afraid to go through proper channels."
Mulder: "We're not exactly proper channels."

Mulder: "Scully, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go."
Scully: "Mulder, I appreciate your concern, but I'm ready; I want
         to work.
Mulder: "Well, maybe you should take some time off."
Scully: "I've already lost too much time."

Trepkos: "If my intense desire to find the truth hasn't finally
          eclipsed the truth itself, our meddling intellect misshapes
          the beauteous forms of things."

Trepkos: "My mind is a tangled knot I can no longer untie. Daily I
          fight the urge to sever it completely to stop this dissent."

Scully: "What if he's already dead?"
Mulder: "He'll have a hard time answering my questions."

Scully: "Will you at least let me go with you?"
Mulder: "No."
Scully: "Look, I know what you're thinking, but you have to get
         past that, we both do. I'm back, and I'm not going anywhere."

Mulder: "Hopefully, that'll give us a better idea of what we're
         dealing with, whatever it is."

Scully: "Based on this preliminary data, I have come to the following
         hypothesis."

Trepkos: "I say the Earth holds some truths best left buried."

Mulder: "I'm Special Agent Mulder. I'm with the FBI."

Trepkos: "You still believe you can petition heaven to get some
          penetrating answer. If you found that answer, what would you
          do with it?"

Trepkos: "In a single moment, everything that science held sacred
          suddenly turned on its head."

Mulder: "Mine stands as the only record."


***Red Museum***


Mulder: "You know, for a holy man, you've got quite a knack for
         pissing people off."

Mulder: "But not Nixon?"
Scully: "No, not even they want to claim Nixon."

Mulder: "I don't know. In the absence of any plausible explanation,
         it's a novel theory."

Scully: "Kinda hard to tell the villains without a scorecard."

Mulder: "What did you find?"
Scully: "Not much until the toxicology report came back."

Farmer: "People change, too."
Mulder: "In what way?"

Scully: "You said you wanted to show us something."
Farmer: "You're looking at it."

Farmer: "Changed a whole lot of things..."
Scully: "How do you mean?"

Farmer: "Well, I think that you're going to find it all comes from the
         same root source."

Mulder: "Do you know what you're saying, Scully?"

Farmer: "Says who? The government? Phaaa..."

Mulder: "Any clue as to what this is about?"
Sheriff: "I have no idea."

Mulder: "Scully, you're not going to believe this."

Mulder: "He's been injecting those kids with alien DNA."


***Excelsis Dei***


Mulder: "Whatever tape you found in that VCR isn't mine."
Scully: "Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all those
         other videos that aren't yours."
Mulder (looking at screen): "Well, this definitely isn't mine."

Hal: "Oh, I didn't mean to step on your toes there."

Hal: "You like strapping me down, don't you?"
Nurse Charters: "Oh yeah, I really get off on it."

Mulder: "Thank you for sharing."

Scully: "I know this is hard for you."

Stan: "You can't handle another one."

Scully: "What if there's a connection?"

Mulder: "Are you saying the building's haunted? Because, if you are, I
         think you've been working with me too long, Scully."

Dr Greko: "Just what do you expect to find?"
Mulder: "I'm not sure exactly."

Scully: "Mulder, mushrooms aren't medication. They taste good on
         hamburgers, but they don't raise the dead."


***Aubrey***


Scully: "Go to hell."

Scully: "A woman senses these things."

Scully (looking at x-ray): "Any cavities?"
Mulder: "I brush after every meal.  Would you say they match?

Mulder: "During their time, Cheney's and Ledbetter's ideas weren't
         very well received by their peers.  Using psychology to solve
         a crime was something like..."
Scully: "Believing in the paranormal?"
Mulder: "Exactly.  But there's another mystery."
Scully: "Which is?"
Mulder: "Well, I'd like to know why this police woman would suddenly
         drive her car into a field the size of Rhode Island and for
         no rhyme or reason dig up the bones of a man whose been
         missing for 50 years.  I mean unless there was a neon sign
         saying 'Dig Here'..."
Scully: "I guess that's why we're going to Aubrey."
Mulder: "Yes, and, also, I've always been intrigued by women named
         BJ."

Mulder: "Well, I don't want to jump to any rash conclusions but I'd
         say he's definitely our prime subject, huh?"
Scully: "Mulder, the man we're talking about is 77 years old."
Mulder: "Well, George Foreman won the heavyweight crown at 45.
         Some people are late bloomers."

Mulder: "You mean a hunch?"
Scully: "Yeah, something like that."
Mulder: "Well that's a pretty extreme hunch."
Scully: "Well I seem to recall you having some pretty extreme
         hunches."
Mulder: "I never have..."

Cokley: "Doctors said I was sick back then. They gave me some
         pills. I served my time and... now I'm better."
Scully: "What kind of pills."
Cokley: "Red and white ones, little sister."

Cokley: "...On the night you're talkin' about, I was sittin'
         here watching a show about a lost dog.  Then after that
         it was a show about a..."
Scully: "That won't be necessary."
Cokley: "Good. Now, are you about finished with me, little
         sister?"
Scully: "For now."

Scully: "I don't think that Mendel had serial killers in mind when
         he developed his theory on genetics."

Mulder: "There are countless stories of twins who are separated
         at birth who end up in the same occupation, marrying
         the same kind of people, each naming their child Waldo."
Scully: "Waldo?"

Scully: "Well then how do you explain the cuts on her own chest?"
Mulder: "I can't explain everything.  Maybe she carved them on
         herself or maybe it's some kind of weird stigmata.
         Whatever it is, BJ's not herself."

BJ: "This time you'll stay dead"


***Irresistible***


Mulder: "The conquest of fear lies in the moment of it's acceptance."

Scully: "I trust him with my life."

Donnie Pfaster: "Do you treat your hair? I mean... do you use
                 chemicals?"

Agent Bochs: "Anything slightly freakazoid, that's the drill.  Call Mo
              Bochs. As if I'm tight with all the nut cases in town."

Mulder: "Tends to be bad for business when those kind of stories get
         around."

Bochs: "You're saying some human's been doing this?"
Mulder: "Yeah, if you want to call him that."

Scully: "I'm coming back. Do you need my help?"
Mulder: "Always."

Mulder: "Well, some people collect salt and pepper shakers.
         Fetishists collect dead things-- fingernails and hair. No one
         quite knows why. Though I've never really understood salt and
         pepper shakers myself."

Scully: "It took us 3 hours to get here, our plane doesn't
         leave until tomorrow night. If you suspected..."
Mulder: "Vikings versus Redskins, Scully. 40 yard line in the
         Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. You and me."

Newscaster: "Oh, long pass, Cris Carter with the catch.  And
             Carter brought down by Lars Mayos at the
             Washington 5 yard line for a Viking 1st down!"
Bochs: "Sorry you had to miss your game but-- we found more
        bodies dug up."
Scully: "Did you get your forensics report on the first murder?"
Newscaster: "Carter's gotta be happy about that!"

Bochs: "There was somebody down there in the grave, cut the
        hair with a pair of pinking shears.  Gotta wonder about
        this guy..."
Mulder: "Well, at least he wasn't down there with his
         dippity-do and his blow-dryer."

Hooker: "You gonna catch this guy?"
Bochs: "We'll catch him."
Mulder: "It might be a good week to take that paid vacation the
         boss owes you."
Hooker: "Yeah. Right."

Mulder: "...It's an unfathomable hatred of women.  Probably
         going back to his mother."
Bochs: "I'd say she's pretty fried at him, too."

Mulder: "You know people videotape police beatings on darkened
         streets.  They manage to spot Elvis in three cities
         across America every day.  But no one saw a pretty
         woman being forced off the road in her rental car."

Mulder: "Where would he go?"
Bochs: "Anywhere but his mother's, right?"
Mulder: "Why do you say that?"
Bochs: "Being he's so pissed off at her, from what your profile
        says. Right?"

Pfaster: "There's no way out, girlie-girl... I know this house,
          girlie-girl, there's nowhere to hide.


***Die Hand Die Verletzt***


Scully: "...But it would take a python hours... *days* to digest
         a human."
Mulder: "You really do watch The Learning Channel, don't you?"

Sheriff: "They listen to that *devil* music."
Mulder: "What? 'The Night Chicago Died'?"

Mulder: "Better hide your Megadeth albums."

Mulder: "Did you really expect to conjure up the devil and ask him to
         behave?"

Scully: "I mean, there's nothing *weird* about..."
(Suddenly, a rain of toads bombards them)
Mulder: "Lunch?"
Scully: "Mulder! *Toads* just fell from the sky!"
Mulder: "I guess their parachutes didn't open. You were saying
         something about this place not feeling odd?"

?: "It's high school. It's normal for students to display abnormal
 behavior."

?: "If Mulder knows, it will make the sacrifice more meaningful."

Paul Vitares: "It [the showers] will make the blood easier to clean
up."

Ms Paddock: "Goodbye, it's been nice working with you."


***Fresh Bones***


Mulder: "He was one of the Few, the Proud, the Dead."

Mulder: "You should *always* carry protection."

Scully: "He's non-verbal, non-responsive to voice, touch or pain. The
         neurologists suspect he suffered a severe concussion in the
         crash resulting in in amnesia.
Mulder: "That's a plausbile diagnosis though I'm more interested in
         how he came back to life.

Scully: "Maybe I should kiss a few [of the frogs] and find out if one is
         Gutierrez.

General: "I'm sorry, I'm just having my breakfast."
Mulder: "It's alright we already ate."

Soldier: "The Statue of Liberty is on vacation."


***Colony***


Mulder: "I have lived with a fragile faith built on the ether of vague
         memories from an experience that I can neither prove nor
         explain.  When I was twelve, my sister was taken from me,
         taken from our home by a force that I came to believe was
         extraterrestrial.  This belief sustained me, fueling a quest
         for truths that were as elusive as the memory itself.  To
         believe as passionately as I did was not without sacrifice,
         but I always accepted the risks ... to my career, my
         reputation, my relationships ... to life itself ...
         What happened to me out on the ice has justified every
         belief.
         If I should die now, it would be with the certainty that my
         faith has been righteous.  And if, through death larger
         mysteries are revealed, I will have already learned the
         answer to the question that has driven me here ... that there
         is intelligent life in the universe other than our own...
         that they are here among us... and that they have begun to
         colonize."

Shipman #1: "You've got to see this, Captain.  We've got a UFO or
             something buzzin' us.  Right up here..."
Shipman #2: "It's been just hovering up there for about 20
             minutes."
Captain: "Could be a helicopter..."
Shipman #2: "Not the way it flew over us."
Shipman #1: "It's coming at us again..."
Shipman #2: "It's gonna crash!"
Captain: "Reverse Engines!"
Navigator: "All astern!"
Captain: "We're going after it."

Mulder: "Oh, hey. I've been looking for you."
Scully: "I was just down the street. Someone fired more shots at
         the White House last night."
Mulder: "You gotta wonder about a country where even the
         President has to worry about drive-by shootings."

Mulder: "...all worked in abortion clinics.  They died in
         separate arson fires."
Scully: "Sounds like the work of militant right-to-lifers."

Scully: "Triplets?"
Mulder: "Nope.  I can't find any blood connection between them.
         In fact, I can't find any records on them at all.  It's as if
         before they died, they never existed."
Scully: "What?"

Officer: "Dr. Prince performed legal clinical abortions.  He seems to
          be having his own share of occupational hazards these days."

Officer: "We're hoping for an indictment."
Mulder: "Soon as you locate Dr. Prince's remains."

Scully: "I've got a bad feeling about this case, Mulder."
Mulder: "What do you mean?"
Scully: "Well, nothing about it makes sense.  We've got 3 deaths
         of identical victims, no bodies, a virtual non-suspect..."
Mulder: "Sounds just like an X-File."

Mulder: "If somebody really wanted to set us up would they give us
         this little to go on?"

Mulder: "How would you access that [voice mail]?"
Receptionist: "Well, you'd start by paying the bill."

(Description: After Mulder got hit by a car)
Scully: "How do you feel?"
Mulder: "Like I should have used the crosswalk. A lot better than
         my phone."

Scully: "Our `friend' from the CIA is about as unbelievable as
         his story. As is everything about this case. I mean, whatever
         happened to `Trust no one'?"
Mulder: "Oh, I changed it to `Trust everyone'. Didn't I tell
         you?"

Mulder: "I think you're being paranoid."

Scully: "Well, Skinner's going to want to know why you didn't
        file the report. What are you going to say?"
Mulder: "The truth. I got hit by a car."

`Samantha': "Fox."

Mulder's Mom: "It *is* really her... isn't it?"

`Samantha': "Is it too late for a game of Stratego?"
Mulder: "It's 22 years too late."

Receptionist: "Now, *who* was that message for?"


***Endgame***


Captain: "Prepare to surface!"
Midshipman: "Surface into what?  We're under 32 feet of glacial
             ice!"

`Mulder': "Okay, I'm going to take my left hand and reach into my
           pocket and get my ID, okay?  Just don't shoot me.  I
           got shot once and I didn't much care for it..."

`Samantha': "I know how to kill him."
Mulder: "How?"
`Samantha': "By piercing the base of the skull..."
Mulder: "That would kill anybody."

`Samantha': "I'm fairly sure it will work."
Mulder: "`Fairly' sure?"

Mulder: "That's a good story.  But I've heard a lot of good stories
         lately."

Mulder: (lounging on the couch with a loaded gun) "Make yourself
         at home..."
Skinner: "What's going on here, Agent Mulder? Why are all the
          lights out?"
Mulder: "Orders from my ophthalmologist."

Mulder: "These guys can hollow out a dime at 200 yards."

Mulder: "...The hard part is telling my father."

Mr. X: "You wanted to see me?"
Mulder: "How was the opera?"
Mr. X: "Wonderful. I've never slept better.  I don't like these
        hasty public meetings, Agent Mulder."
Mulder: "I'm sorry. I need your help."
Mr. X: "It's over. The fat lady is singing."

Mr. X: "Excuse me..
Skinner: "Did you tell her what she needed to know? (slams X
          against the elevator wall) How hard to you want to make
          this?"
Mr. X: "No harder than it has to be."  (Headbutts Skinner, they
        exchange blows, Skinner finally tossing X down on the
        floor.  X pulls gun)
Mr. X: "I've killed men for far less."
Skinner: "You pull that trigger you'll be killing 2 men. Now I
          want to know where Mulder is..."

Scully: "How did you get this?"
Skinner: "Unofficial channels."

Assassin: "Is the answer to your question worth dying for?  Is
           that what you want?"
Mulder: "Where is she?  Just tell me where she is."
Assassin: "She's alive.  Can you die now?"

Scully: "Hey... How you feeling?"
Mulder: "Like I got a bad case of freezer burn."

Scully: "Thanks for ditching me..."

Scully: "Did you find what you were looking for?
Mulder (whispering): "No... no.  But I found something I'd
         thought I'd lost. Faith to keep looking..."

Scully: "Transfusion and an aggressive treatment with anti-viral
         agents have resulted in a steady but gradual improvement in
         Agent Mulder's condition.  Blood tests have confirmed his
         exposure to the still unidentified retrovirus whose origin
         remains a mystery.  The search team that found Agent Mulder
         has located neither the missing submarine nor the man he was
         looking for.  Several aspects of this case remain
         unexplained, suggesting the possibility of paranormal
         phenomena ...  but I am convinced that to accept
         such conclusions is to abandon all hope of understanding the
         scientific events behind them.
         Many of the things I have seen have challenged my faith and
         my belief in an ordered universe but this uncertainty has
         only strengthened my need to know, to understand, to apply
         reason to those things which seem to defy it.  It was science
         that isolated the retrovirus Agent Mulder was exposed to, and
         science that allowed us to understand its behavior, and
         ultimately, it was science that saved Agent Mulder's life."


***Fearful Symmetry***


Mulder: "It's all happening at the zoo, Scully."

Janitor: "They don't pay you to dance, Roberto... God is
          watching..."

Mulder: "Well if somebody would have seen it, Scully, we
         wouldn't be here."
Mulder: "I'd be willing to admit the possibility of a tornado, but
         it's not really tornado season.  I'd even be willing to
         entertain the notion of a black hole passing over the area or
         some cosmic anomaly but it's not really black hole season
         either..."

Mulder: "If I was a betting man I'd say it was, uh..."
Scully: "An invisible elephant?"
Mulder: "I saw David Copperfield make the Statue of Liberty
         disappear once."

Scully: "Mulder, what are you looking for?"
Mulder: "Oh, a local paper.  I want to see if David Copperfield is in
         town."

Mulder: "I'd even allow there's a chance of a blackhole or some spacial
         anomily passing over the area but it's not exactly blackhole
         season either."

Willa: "Elephants aren't particularly good jumpers, if that's
        what you're thinking..."

Mulder: "How's your relationship with Ed Meacham?
Willa: "I'm his boss and I'm a woman, and Ed doesn't like
        that much."

Scully: "And you consider that inhumane treatment?"
Kyle: "It's like you were out living in a pickle barrel."

Kyle: "...All animals should run free."
Scully: "Even if that means trampling a man to death?"
Kyle: "Maybe he should have gotten out of the way."
Mulder: "I'm sure he would have if he had seen it coming."

Scully: "And where are you going?"
Mulder: "Talk to the animals [The Lone Gunmen]."

Frohike: "Beam me up Scotty!"
Mulder: "Did anybody ever tell you the camera loves you,
         Frohike?"
Frohike: "Yeah, the arresting officers at the Free James
          Brown rally..."
Byers: "What's this costing the taxpayers, Mulder?"
Mulder: "Uh, about 150 bucks an hour."
Frohike: "Ouch!  Almost as much as Bill Clinton's haircuts!"
Mulder: "Where's Langly?"
Byers: "He has a philosophical issue with having his image
        bounced off a satellite."
Frohike: "What are you doing in Idaho?"

(Mulder's cell-phone beeps)
Frohike: (Eyebrows up) "If that's the lovely Agent Scully,
         let her know I've been working out... I'm buff!"

Scully: "Well that guy really pisses me off."
Mulder: "You OK, Scully?"
Scully: "Yeah..."
Mulder: "Calmed down?"

Mulder: "What?"
Scully: "Is this who you wanted to speak with?" (Sophie)
Mulder: "It's basic investigative procedure, Agent Scully.
         Interview all the possible witnesses."

Scully: "I hope you know what you're getting us into, Mulder." Mulder:
"I'm pretty sure of what we're gonna find."
Scully: "'Cause this isn't exactly in my job description."
Mulder: "Ah, next thing you know they'll be doing it on MTV
         Sports."

Scully: "There's evidence of hyperplasia and the corpus
         luteum is ruptured."
Willa: "That's not possible."
Mulder: "Neither is an invisible elephant."

Construction worker: (Laughs) "Still can't believe you bet
                     on the Chargers!"

Ed: "It's all right, Willa.  They don't all talk and draw
     pictures."

Willa: "Aliens impregnating zoo animals?"
Mulder: "Yes, and harvesting embryos."
Willa: "Why?"
Mulder: "Maybe their own Noah's ark?  To preserve the DNA of
         those animals that we're depleting to extinction.  Whatever
         it is, that's probably the reason why you've never had a
         successful birth at this facility."
Willa: "I think that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever
        heard."
Mulder: "I understand that you might think it was ridiculous
         and maybe you should ask Sophie..."

Scully: "I was looking for a pen to finish my report in
         Willa's office.  I found this in a drawer."
Mulder: "It's a Small World After All..."


***Dod Kalm***


Scully: "Something very strange is going on here, Mulder."

Scully: "Off by about half a century. You don't seem too surprised."

Scully: "Mulder, what do you know about free radicals?"
Mulder: "Is this a quiz?"

Scully: "Mulder where are we going?"
Mulder: "I'm not sure yet but we've got to get there soon."

Mulder: "You're lucky. You inherited your father's legs."
Scully: "What?"
Mulder: "Sea legs."

Mulder: "I think I just lapped George Burns."

Olafsson: "You don't have to die."
Trondheim: "We all have to die."

Trondheim: "Why don't you just go ahead and shoot me if you think I'm
            going to let Mulder have another *drop*!"

Mulder: "I always thought that when I got old I'd take a cruise
         somewhere.  This is not what I had in mind. The service on
         this ship is *terrible*, Scully."

Scully: "As certain as I am of this life, we have nothing to fear when
         it's over."


***Humbug***


Blockhead: "I won't talk to you until I consult with my lawyer."
Scully: "Who is your lawyer?"
Blockhead: "I represent myself."

Jerry's kid: "Did ya see a lot of weird stuff this year?"
Jerry: "Yep, it was the weirdest show ever."

Mulder: "This shows the entry wounds of the undetermined weapon.
         There were no other injuries inflicted upon the body, no
         internal organs were removed and/or cannibalized, and there's
         no signs of any sexual molestation, either."

Eulogist: "...for although Jerry was a world-renowned escape artist,
           there is one strongbox from which none of us can
           escape... (coffin begins to shake violently, as if
           Jerry's about to make an escape)

Dr Blockhead: "...But as an admirer of the man's work, I am in a
               position to perform an impromptu tribute in his honor!
               Namely, ramming this spike INTO MY CHEST!"

Mulder: "I can't wait for the wake."

Mulder: "I got the impression that Glazebrook wasn't the only sideshow
         performer residing here..."

Sheriff: "...on the inside, they're as normal as anybody."
Scully: "Until their arrest, many serial killers are considered by
         their friends and family to be quite normal.  If you truly
         regard these people as normal, then you must also consider
         the possibility that they are capable of committing these
         crimes.

Helm: "Who are the rubes?"

Helm: "...it's not a funhouse, it's a tabernacle of terror."
Sheriff: "It's a funhouse."

Sheriff: "You don't mean to tell me you think these tracks are
          made by the *Feegee Mermaid*?"
Scully: "Do you recall what Barnum said about suckers?"
(Motions at Mulder)

Mulder: "Tell me, have you done much circus work in your life?"
Mr Nut: "And what makes you think I've ever spectated a circus? Much
         less been enslaved by one?"
Mulder: "I know that many of the citizens here are former circus
         hands, and I just thought that..."
Mr Nut: "You thought that because I am a person of short stature, that
         the only career I could procure for myself would be one
         confined to the so-called 'Big Top'.  You took one quick look
         at me, and decided that you could deduce my entire life.
         Never did it occur to you that a person of my height could
         have possibly obtained a degree in Hotel Management."
Mulder: "I'm sorry.  I meant no offense."
Mr Nut: "Well then why should I take offense?  Just because it's human
         nature to make instantaneous judgements of others based
         solely upon their physical appearances?  Well I've done the
         same thing to you, for example.  I've taken in your all-
         American features, your dour demeanor, your unimaginative
         necktie design, and concluded that you work for the
         government; an FBI agent... but do you see the tragedy here?
         I have mistakenly deduced you to a stereotype.  A caricature,
         instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual."
Mulder: But I *am* an FBI agent." (flips out badge)

Lenny: "Mr. Nut, the kind-hearted manager here, convinced me that
        to make a living by publicly displaying my deformity lacked
        dignity.  So... now I carry other people's luggage.  I believe
        these are your trailers; if they are not... then I am wrong."
Mulder: (Bends over to take suitcases, but while he's down
         there, takes a long hard look at Leonard, the twin.  Feeling
         guilty that Lenny notices it, slips him some money.  Lenny is
         too drunk to take the palmed money)
Lenny: "Oh, that's most considerate. Thank you very much."
(Mulder shows Scully that he still has the tip in his hand)

Lenny: "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite.
        (staggers down the road, realizes what he said and comes back)
        No, no, that's... that's not what I meant.. I... I didn't mean
        to imply that we had bedbugs... I... I meant to say don't
        let...  don't let the..."
Mulder: "The Feegee mermaids bite."
Bellman: "Yes, that's right... the Feegee Mermaids..."

Mulder: "Just try not to be so exclusive, Scully."
Scully: "As long as you try not to let the atmosphere of this
         town distort your list all out of proportion."

Dr Blockhead: "How many people do you know that can get out of a
               straight jacket in under 3 minutes?"
Scully: "Fortunately none..."

(Description: Dr B. has just hammered a long nail up his nose)
Mulder: "Have you ever performed this... act on anyone else?"
Dr Blockhead: "What, are you sick?  I tell my audiences that if
        they're stupid enough to try this on themselves they'll end up
        with a slight lobotomy.  I am a professional."
Mulder: "Exactly how does one become a professional Blockhead? May I?"
         (pulls out nail)

Dr Blockhead: "Did you know that through the protective practice of
               Tiea Bu Shan, you can train your testicles to draw up
               into your abdomen?"
Mulder: "Oh, I'm doing that as we speak..."

Mulder: "I saw him this morning down by the river. He was eating a
         fish."
Dr Blockhead:  "He knows eating between-show snacks will ruin his
                appetite."
Mulder: "I could be mistaken.  Maybe it was another bald-headed jigsaw
         puzzle tattooed naked guy I saw."
Scully: "Is this man also a body manipulator?"
Dr Blockhead: "No, in the classical sense The Conundrum is a geek."
Mulder: "He eats live animals..."
Dr Blockhead: "He eats anything: live animals, dead animals, rocks,
               light bulbs, corkscrews, battery cables,
               cranberries..."
Scully: "Human flesh?"
Dr Blockhead: "Only The Conundrum can answer that question.  But, he
               doesn't answer questions, he merely poses them.  When
               an audience partakes in The Conundrum's human piranha
               act, they are left to ask themselves... why?  But,
               where are my manners?" (Offers Scully a cricket-filled
               jar)
Scully: (Takes one) "Thank you." (Eats cricket, smiles at Mulder
         then walks away.  Mulder looks shocked, refuses the crickets)

(Description: Scully pulls cricket she "ate" from behind Mulder's ear)
Scully: "It's an old sleight of hand my uncle taught me.  He was
         only an amateur magician but he was still better than those
         two."
Mulder: "Well I'm going over to the lab to see if they can test
         the blood on the window against the blood on Dr. Blockhead's
         nail.  (Produces nail from mid-air).  Everybody's uncle's an
         amateur magician."

Curator: "At the autopsy it was officially concluded that Chang
          died of a cerebral hemorrhage."
Scully: "And what was the official cause of Eng's death?"
Curator: "Fright."

Mr Nut: "I know what you're thinking my friend, but you're
         grossly mistaken... Just because I'm not of so-called average
         height does not mean I must receive my thrills vicariously.
         Not all women are attracted to overly tall, lanky men such as
         yourself.  You'd be surprised how many women find my size
         intriguingly alluring."
Mulder: "You'd be surprised how many men do as well."

(Description: M&S are digging up object buried by sheriff)
Mulder: (pauses from his digging) "Scully, hypertrichosis does
         not connote lycanthrophy."
Scully: "What are you implying?"
Mulder: "We're being highly discriminatory here. Just because a
         man was once afflicted with excessive hairyness, we've no
         reason to suspect him of aberrant behavior."
Scully: "It's like assuming guilt based solely on skin color, isn't
         it?"
(M&S look embarrassed, but keep digging)

Sheriff: "May I ask what you're doing?"
Mulder: "We're exhuming... your potato."
Sheriff: "May I ask why?"
Scully: "Sheriff, it's... it's... it's been documented that many
         serial killers... [...]"
Mulder: "We found out that you used to be a dog-faced boy."
(gives pamphlet to Sheriff)
Sheriff: "Boy, look how skinny I was back then."

Scully: "That doesn't quite explain the potato."
Sheriff: "I got... ah, some warts on my hand."
Mulder: "That doesn't quite explain the potato."
Sheriff: "To get rid of warts, you... rub a sliced potato on your hand
          and bury it under a full moon. Investigation isn't going too
          well, is it?"
(Mulder tosses potato back into hole)

Sheriff: "...I spent the first half of my life as Jim Jim.
          Then one morning I noticed a bald spot on top of my head and
          realized I wasn't only losing my hair but my career as well.
          Eventually all the hair went, on top my head anyways.  The
          rest of my body's still pretty hairy, which is... why I
          never go to the beach."

Mr Nut: "So tell me, Commodore?  Why are the weirdos the only
         ones that pay their rent checks in advance?"

Scully: "You know, Mulder.  For a while there I was beginning to
         suspect this case involved something a bit more... uhm..."
Mulder: "Freakish?  You really shouldn't complain about banality,
         Scully.  When your main suspect is the human Blockhead..."

Dr Blockhead: "If people knew the true price of spirituality, there'd
               be more atheists."

Scully: "Sir, if you're going to be uncooperative, I'll have to
         handcuff you."
Dr Blockhead: "What gives you fascists the right to do that?"
Scully: "Did I not mention we're federal agents?"
Dr Blockhead: "Did I not mention that I'm an escape artist?"
(Dr B. breaks free, pushes Mulder down and goes out the door,
 Mulder falls onto bed of nails)
Scully: "Mulder, are you alright?"
Mulder: "It's more comfortable than a futon..."
Sheriff: "Hey, look what I caught! (Has Block by his fishing lines,
          tugs at it to emphasize point)
Dr Blockhead: "Ouch!"

Dr Blockhead: "So..., your twin can, uh (makes 'exiting' motion) and
               then... (makes 'entering' motion)? [Lenny nods]  What
               an act!"

Mulder: (To Conundrum) "Have you seen a... a... ahh, forget it."

Sheriff: "Now you're sure it was the twin running around here?
          Now maybe it was the Feegee Mermaid, he jumped back in the
          river and swum his way back to Feegee..."
Mulder: (To Scully) "Now you know how I feel."

Blockhead: "Can you imagine looking like *him* [Mulder] for the rest of
            your life?"

Scully: "I already performed the autopsy on him [Lenny] this morning."
Dr Blockhead: "So I guess it's true. You can never go home again."

Dr Blockhead: "...You see, I've seen the future, and the future looks
               just like him... [Mulder in a classic GQ pose] Imagine,
               going through your whole life looking like that. That's
               why it's left up to the self-made freaks like me 'n The
               Conundrum to remind people..."
Scully: "Remind them of what?"
Dr Blockhead: "Nature abhors normality.  It can't go too long without
               a mutant."

Mulder: "What's the matter with your friend?"
Block: "I don't know what his problem is.  Maybe it's the Florida
        heat?"
Scully: "Hope it's nothing serious."
Conundrum: "Probably something I ate."


***The Calusari***


Mulder: "...You see this is a helium balloon here, and the one
         thing I did learned in kindergarten is when you let them go
         they float up, up and away.  But you see this is moving
         away from him. Horizontally."
Scully: "Did you learn about _wind_ in kindergarten?"

Mulder: "So unless Teddy Holvey was the reincarnation of Houdini..."
Chuck: "And that would be an X-file in itself."

Mulder: "Does this happen often?"

Mulder: "Wanna see something weird?"

Chuck: "...but with this special software which... I designed..."
Mulder: (Gives Scully an 'I don't know...' look about Chuck)
Chuck: "...we can detect hidden 'information.'"

Scully: "So you're saying that a... a ghost killed Teddy Holvey..."

Mulder: "...I think from the... 'information'... here, this is clearly
         some kind of poltergeist activity."
Scully: "Mulder, this information is the same reason why I'll
         see a newspaper photo with Jesus' face appearing in the...
         the foliage of an Elm tree."

Scully: "I've seen some pretty slippery 2 year olds..."

Scully: "Well I think this boy needs as much protection as he
         can get, but just not from ghosties and beasties."

Scully: "Have you ever heard of Munchausen by Proxy?"
Mulder: "Yeah, my grandfather used to take that for his stomach."

Mulder: "Before Chuck succumbed to the glamours of academia he
         did a tour of duty on the old Hippie Trail."

Chuck: "In 1979 I witnessed a guru named Sai Baba create an
        entire feast out of thin air."
Scully: "Too bad you didn't take a picture.  You could have run
         it through your computer and seen the entire Last Supper."

Calusari #1: "It is over for now.  But you must be careful.  It
              knows you."


***F. Emasculata***


Scully: "According to the briefing, prisoners escaped by hiding
         in a laundry cart."
Mulder: "I don't think the guards are watching enough prison
         movies."

Mulder: "I thought this was about escaped prisoners..."
Scully: "It is."
Mulder: "Then who are the men in the funny suits?"

Marshall: "FBI, we're not a crook and politician sting."

Marshall: "Well then you'd be a real big help is you just
           tried to... stay out of the way."
Mulder: "Well, we'd be happy to, soon as we can talk to
         someone who's in CHARGE..."
Marshall: (Peeved) "I'm in charge here."
Mulder: "Apparently not, or you'd know why our involvement
         was requested."

Scully: "Where are you going?"
Mulder: "To see if I can get in the way."

Mulder: "Deadly? How deadly?"
Scully: "Well, from what I've seen so far, 36 hours after
         infection deadly."

Dr. Auerbach: (To Scully) "You see what I let you see."

Mulder: "Kid's got a lot of hair- probably absorbed the blow."

Marshall: "Until we can access them [the prisoners' records]
           this is Smokey and the Bandit."

Mulder: "My badge number is JTT047101111."

Cancer Man: "Then you don't know much, Agent Mulder."

Marshall: "He's lucky it didn't kill him"
Mulder: "Kids got alot of hair - probably absorbed the blow"

Cancer Man: "The truth would have caused panic.  Panic would have cost
             lives. We control the disease by controlling the
             information."
Mulder: "You can't protect the public by lying."
Cancer Man: "It's done every day..."

Cancer Man: "How many people are being infected while you stand here
             not doing your job?  10?  20?  What's the truth, Agent
             Mulder?"

Scully: "There'll be a time for the truth, Mulder, but this
         isn't it."

Skinner: "You really have no idea who you're dealing with, do you?"
Mulder: "I THOUGHT I was dealing with you."

Skinner: "I stand right on the line that you keep crossing."

Skinner: "Agent Mulder.  I'm saying this as a friend.  Watch
          your back. This is just the beginning."


***Soft Light***


Kelly: "Heard a lot about you..." [to Mulder]
Mulder: [To Scully] "We'll talk later..."

Kelly: "Agent Scully, what are you looking at?"
Scully: "Uh, the heat register."
Kelly: "You don't think anyone could have squeezed in there?"
Mulder: "You never know..."

Scully: "Having a little fun?"

[Description: M&S discussing the possibility of a spontaneous
combustion theory:]
Scully: "Let's just forget for the moment that there's no
         scientific theory to support it."
Mulder: "Okay."

Mulder: "Hey Scully, can you spare a prophylactic?"

Scully: "...we were called in as a favour."
Mulder: "And as a favour we just handed over the A-bomb to the
         boy-scouts."

Mulder: "Mmm... scotch."

Scully: "Darkness covers a multitude of sins."
Mulder: "Check this out.  My newest tool in the fight against
         crime. $49.95 at your local hardware store."
Scully: "Neat trick.  For your birthday I'll buy you a utility
         belt."

Mulder: "Yeah but half of Richmond earns their paycheck making
         cancer sticks."

Mulder: "Maybe it's not so spontaneous.  Get on the phone to
         your 'young detective' and tell her to get a detail down
         to the train station."

Banton: "Oh god, not again!"

Scully: "Chances are he's not walking around carrying a sign
         with an arrow on it."

Mulder: "Why's he doing that?" [Looking at the floor]
Scully: "Probably the same reason he spends his whole afternoon
         in the train station."

Mulder: "Powered by what?"
Davey: "Couple billion megawatts.  Virginia Power loved us."

Scully: "...Nonsensical repetitive behavior is a common trait
         of mental illness."
Mulder: "You trying to tell me something?"

Det. Beren: "Yeah, I was just wondering what your involvement
             is here."
Mulder: "We caught the guy."

Mulder: "...He believes the government is out to get him."
Mr X: "It's tax season.  So do most Americans."

Mr X: "Dead men can't keep promises.  The next time the blood
        and regret might be yours."

Mulder: "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not
         out to get you, Scully."


***Our Town***


Scully: "They're sending us on some kind of a wild goose chase."
Mulder: "Chicken chase."

Scully: "I'm surprised she didn't call Oprah as soon as she got
         off the phone with the police."

Mulder: "Well, most legends don't leave behind 12' burn marks."

Mulder: "...It gave me nightmares."
Scully: "I didn't think anything gave you nightmares."
Mulder: "Well I was young."

Mulder: "The state police found his car on the I-10, right in
         the middle of Dudley, Arkansas.  Home of Chaco Chicken."

Chaco Motto: "Good people, Good food"

Mulder: "Chickens feed on chickens?"

Mr Chaco: "Not many people I know as useful as these chickens."

Mulder: "Who knows, Scully?  This could turn out to be even *more*
         interesting than foxfires."

Scully: "I just came up with a sick theory, Mulder."
Mulder: "Oooo, I'm listening!"

Mulder: "Well I'd like it dragged as soon as possible."
Sheriff: "Why would ya wanna do that?"
Mulder: "To see what's in there."

Scully: "All of them share one strange detail, Mulder."
Mulder: "Well they seem to have lost their heads..."

Mulder: "Someone's been playing with matches..."


***The Anasazi***


Thinker: "You BITCH!  Beautiful!"

Mulder: "I'm not feeling well.  I didn't sleep last night. Really not
         in the mood for the Three Stooges."
Frohike: "I don't think we've been followed."
Mulder: "Who would follow YOU?"

Langly: "Trained killers.  School of the America's alumni."
Mulder: "You boys been defacing library books again?"

Frohike: "Weirdness..."

Mulder: "Y'know, from day one this has always been on your
         terms. I've gone along, been the dutiful son. So
         maybe this time we can cut through the Obi-Wan
         Kenobi bit and save me the trouble."

Thinker: "I.. I don't want you to know my real name.  I.. I
          just don't think it's that important that you know."
Mulder: "Sounds like a line I used in a bar once."

Mulder: "Are you familiar with the 10 Commandments, Scully?"
Scully: "You want me to recite them?"
Mulder: "Just number 4, the one about obeying the Sabbath.
         The part where God made heaven and earth but didn't bother to
         tell anybody about his side projects?"

Scully: "What is this?"
Mulder: "The Holy Grail..."

Scully: "Where did you get this?"
Mulder: "Your friendly neighborhood anarchist."

Scully: "Mulder, are you okay?"
Mulder: "Yeah, I just haven't been sleeping."

Cancer Man: "As always, we maintain plausible denial.  The files are
             only as real as their possible authentication."

Mulder: "I came home.  Must be running a fever.  Maybe it's the threat
         of being burned at the stake."

Mulder: "So you can clear your conscience and your name?  You've
         been making reports on me since the beginning, Scully, taking
         your *LITTLE NOTES*!!!"

Mulder: "You shot me!"
Scully: "Yes, I did.  You didn't give me much choice.  You were
         about to kill Krycek."
Mulder: "Why'd you shoot ME?  HE'S the one..."

[On MIBs putting LSD in the water]
Scully: "Well it wasn't an exercise in subtlety."

Albert: "You're lucky she's a good shot."
Mulder: "Or a bad one..."

Mulder: "You have my files and you have my gun, don't ask me for my trust"

Cancer Man: "He was never an opponent to the project. In fact he
             authorised it, thats what he couldn't live with."
Mulder: "No, he couldn't live with it because you had him killed."
Cancer Man: "We weren't involved in that."

Mulder: "Listen to me you black-lunged son of a bitch, I'm gonna
         expose you and your project. Your time is over."
Cancer Man: "Expose anything and you expose your father"

Albert: "...their name was Anasazi, which means 'ancient aliens.'"

Mulder: "What is the truth?"
Albert: "Nothing disappears without a trace"

Cancer Man: "Nothing disappears without a trace. Burn it"

Cancer Man: "You're a hard man to reach."
Mulder: "Not hard enough, apparently."
Cancer Man: "Where are you?"
Mulder: "I'm at the Betty Ford Center, where are you?"
Cancer Man: "I need to talk to you, Mr. Mulder.  In person.  There
             are things to explain."
Mulder: "I'll save the government the plane fare.  I just need
         to know which government that is."

Mulder: "But these aren't human, Scully.  From the look of it
         I'd say they were alien."
Scully: "Are you sure?"
Mulder: "I'm pretty damn sure."

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				THAT'S ALL I HAVE FOR NOW
			THANKS TO VARIOUS SOURCES FOR THE QUOTES
				-Tuvix (tuvix@interlog.com)
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