The Knot
by
Frost Flower & Del_kaidin
Prologue
The great tapestry of mortal existence filled one wall in the abode of the Fates. As
Clotho sat at her wheel spinning the threads of life, Atropos cut them, Lachesis watched
as a great knot appeared in the tapestry. Many threads were involved, and she carefully
began examining each thread to see how the knot began.
"Hercules." she said with resignation, "Hera is going to attack him again and if she
succeeds this time...." her voice trailed off.
"Will it be necessary to cut his thread?" Atropos asked. Though she was old, she held a
special place in her heart for her half brother, as did all the Fates. They had used him
many times to unravel the knots.
"I'm not sure." Lachesis bent once again to examine the threads. "There is hope, one
chance to avoid this tangled web."
"What?" asked the youngest Clotho.
"Love can save him." Lachesis looked to her sisters, "Get Zeus, Clotho. He must be
consulted. And Atropos fetch Hades and Cupid. The six of us can undo Hera's
interference."
As her sisters left to do her bidding the weaver began to plan how to unravel the knot.
Hera had outdone herself. The knot began further back than Lachesis had thought. She
now realized the true extent of Hera's hatred for Hercules. As she pondered the threads
Clotho returned with Zeus.
"You sent for me." He said, his voice rumbling like distant thunder, "Clotho said it
involved Hercules in some kind of trouble. Is Hera responsible?"
"Yes father. But if you will be patient until Atropos returns I will explain all to you.
Would you like something while you wait?"
"No thank you Lachesis." Zeus began wondering what Hera had planned this time.
Her hatred of his son was beginning to wear on his nerves. He could understand it at first
but she had gone to far with the killing of Dieanira and their children. He even felt some
quilt over that incident, he could have stopped Hera. Once again, he had let Hera have her
way to keep peace.
As he silently deliberated Atropos returned with Hades and Cupid. Both greeted
Lachesis, Clotho and Zeus. As the visitors sat, Lachesis rose and pointing out the knot in
the tapestry, began explaining the possible consequences and solutions.
"Hera has or will soon make another attack on Hercules. She began this plot with the
death of Dieanira and the children. That was essential to her scheme. Now Hercules is
afraid to love. His fear that Hera will cause the death of one he loves will cause him to
turn from the redemption of love. If her plan succeeds Hercules will be unable to fulfill
his destiny and mankind will suffer.
The knot can only be removed by either cutting Hercules' thread or his marriage to one
specific mortal. Each of you must assist if my plan is to succeed." Taking a deep breath
she continued, looking at each deity as she mentioned their responsibility. "Zeus, father,
you must keep Hera from discovering our plan. Hades, you must obtain Dieanira's
approval for Hercules to remarry. Cupid, you must shoot him with your arrow to make
him realize his love for the woman I choose."
Each one nodded until the last, Cupid shook his head. At Lachesis puzzled frown he
explained. "I would and have shot Hercules in the past, but he knows that love from my
arrows is sometimes illusory. If you require it I will do ask you ask, but I hope that it will
be unnecessary."
"Who have you chosen to be his bride?" Hades asked, knowing that getting Dieanira's
approval for this would depend on the bride-to-be. Hades knew her to be a kind and
loving woman. She would not be in the Elysian Fields if he felt otherwise, especially
considering her suicide. He also knew that she was fiercely possessive of Hercules and
would not give her approval easily. Maybe Persephone can help with this, he mused.
"Xena, the warrior princess." Lachesis said matter of factly.
Chapter One
I could hear the sound of my children playing as it drifted in with the sunlight through
the windows. Stirring the stew that would be this evening's meal, I looked down at the
hand holding the wooden spoon, and smiled as I remembered when, I had wielded more
lethal things; the Warrior Princess was gone, and a wife and mother stood in her place.
Not that she couldn't return, when necessary.
I was happy. I couldn't remember a time when I was happier. I was still fit, despite
childbirth, quite capable of defending my brood, if the need should arise. Placing a hand
on my abdomen, I smiled, knowing that this was the girl that we were hoping for. Tonight,
I will tell him tonight, little one.
"Momma?"
I turned to the door, where the small boy stood. "Yes, Lycius?" So very much like his
father, he was, all smiles, gentleness, blue-eyed and chestnut-haired. I don't know where
the mischief in him came from.
"Father and Solon are coming."
How Lycius knew things in advance was a legacy from his aunt's. He always knew,
even as an infant, when people were coming to visit or when danger approached. At five,
he was the oldest of my children, with the exception of Solon, who would turn seventeen
tomorrow. My children, I had once wondered if I could lead the life I now lived.
It was hard to believe that Solon would be coming ... here to my home, to celebrate his
coming of age. Our reconciliation had been a wedding present from my beloved -- to
bring my estranged son to our wedding and tell him the truth, that the woman he had hated
for so long was his mother. It had been hard on a boy of eleven. to understand that the
woman he had blamed for his father's death was his mother, but my beloved with his
gentle ways had soothed his troubled heart.
"Thank you Lyceus -- why don't you go get cleaned up? Do you want to look like
a street waif when they get here?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "Aunt Gabrielle
should be arriving later and I'm sure she will have some wonderful tales to tell.
"Aunt Gabrielle is here now, Momma. She's telling Laertes and Diogenes the tale of
how you and Uncle Joxer and her defeated Callisto."
*****
The day had passed in a whirlwind of family and friends -- Cyrene, Iaolus, Joxer,
Gabrielle, Amalthea, and even Zeus had attended the party. Now with the children in bed
and friends gone to their own homes, I lay in bed, in the arms of my husband. I knew now
was the time to tell him of our new child.
I looked up at him, saw the shape of his face in the darkness, smelled the scent of
clover and sunlight in his hair, felt the heat of his breath against my neck. I closed my
eyes
and luxuriated in the warmth of his body entwined with mine. I lifted my lips to him, felt
the nibbling of his mouth along mine, the joining of our kisses into a tempest of fire and
passion. Forgetting everything except how right this moment was I brought my arms up to
press him closer to me and he wasn't there.
My eyes flew open to see him standing across the room from me in a pool of
lamplight fully dressed, a loving, beatific smile on his face. I blinked slowly, as if
reluctant to let him out of my gaze, and he was outside of the house.
I don't know what shocked me more -- the lone peacock feather drifting on the
wind towards his head, or -- "HERCULES!!!!" I wailed, arms outreached. "No! *No!*
NO!!"
******
"*NO!*"
Even though Gabrielle had been half-tensed, waiting for it, Xena's scream still caught
her off-guard. She nearly jumped out of her skin, but recovered quickly and went to her
friend, who was now upright, arms reaching out to something Gabrielle couldn't see. The
dull light from the banked embers of the campfire gleamed along Xena's skin, causing an
interplay of light and shadow on the warrior's body.
"Xena -- it's all right, Xena it's me, it's okay," she murmured soothingly to her friend.
This was the third night in a row that this had happened. No wonder Xena didn't want to
go to sleep -- the nightmare must be horrible. Gabrielle gently gathered Xena into her
arms as if she was a small child and began rocking her while gently stroking her hair.
While the warrior stared into the night, murmuring brokenly, "No, no, no . . ."
"Xena, it's me, Xena, come on, snap out of it," Gabrielle kept up a steady stream of
patter until Xena finally focused her steely gaze on the bard.
"Gabri --" Xena breathed, then comprehension set in. "Gabrielle," She sighed, closed
her eyes, Relaxing into Gabrielle's mothering embrace. Gabrielle waited for Xena to calm
herself before releasing the warrior.
"Do you remember anything this time? Is it the same dream?" Gabrielle asked softly.
"I think it's the same dream. It feels the same. No, I don't remem....." Her voice faded
off.
"What?"
"Hercules?" Xena whispered.
"Hercules? What about Hercules?" Gabrielle asked moving to look at Xena's face.
" I'm not sure. But I know we have to find him..... and quickly."
Chapter Two
He turns and looks at me, a smile slowly, beautifully spreading across his tanned face. It
almost breaks my heart to see him smile that way at me. I reach my hands out to him, feeling as
if I’m moving through syrup, and all I know is that I must hurry. I feel -- helpless. I fight the
feeling, anger and desperation spurring me on.
The peacock feather comes drifting down out of the moon . . .
*********
Today, Xena thought. We must find Hercules today. I can’t take much more of this. She had
never realized exactly how difficult it could be to locate one man. How hard could it be to find
him. He was a famous hero and the son of Zeus. How could one man travel so much? Why
couldn’t he stay in one place and make it easier for her? She yearned for her old network of spies
from her warlord days. It had been easier to locate him then, she remembered with a smile.
Instead, for the past fortnight since the dreams began, she and Gabrielle were forced to search by
rumor. It was always, “No, you’ve just missed him, he was here a few days ago -- I think he was
headed towards Athens, or perhaps Illyria,” or, “Why, he was here last week! Look, I can take
you to the room he slept in -- we’re getting a sign made!” or even the occasional, “What do
*you* want with Hercules?” with the accompanying dark looks shadowed by memories of her
evil past.
Today, she promised herself, looking at the temple of the Fates, in the shadow of which she
and Gabrielle had camped. Somehow, she knew the Fates had taken a hand in this -- and while
she generally objected to being used like this, this concerned *Hercules*. He was one of those
few she counted as friend.
Who are you trying to kid? she asked herself. She looked up from saddling Argo and
watched Gabrielle burying the remains of their campfire. Xena envied Gabrielle. Such a bright
soul, unsullied -- she thought. What would Hercules want with someone like me, anyhow? Too
tall by half, far from dainty by anyone’s standards -- and could anyone really call her face
*pretty*? Ah well, she sighed, tightening Argo’s girth. Once a Warrior Princess, always a
Warrior Princess. Could be worse -- could be dead. Again. Still there lingered a tiny spark of
hope that she could be the sort of woman that Hercules could love.
*********
"There." Lachesis said aloud. It had taken some time to arrange the threads of Xena and
Hercules so they would meet.
"Sister." the maiden aspect, Clotho began, "are you sure the child will not be harmed?"
"Yes, it has taken me weeks to arrange the treads of that family. The child will be
unharmed.... scared, but not harmed. If only I had seen Hera's scheme sooner...."
"You saw it in time to save him, sister." Atropos said as she lay a comforting hand on
Lachesis' shoulder.
*********
Xena reined Argo in, halting him for a moment as some children flew by, chasing each other.
There was something about the little girl in the hyacinth-purple chiton that momentarily gave her
pause, and for a moment, she knew it had something to do with the dream, it flickered on the edge
of her consciousness -- and then it was gone. The girl was just another child, giggles issuing forth
from a mouth smeared with sweets. Xena watched them eddy about like a tidal pool, before once
again surging down the road in a renewed game. The sun was high in the sky, moving towards
the horizon. Nightfall would come sooner here than elsewhere for the mountains in the area were
rich with minerals and salt. This village was nestled in a pass through the mountains, therefore it
was a prime place for her and Gabrielle to hopefully obtain information about Hercules as well as
much-needed provisioning.
In the distance, the mountains grumbled. Xena looked behind her and shuddered, glad that she
had not grown up in a mining community. The sooner they got their business done, the sooner
they could be out of the mountains. She dismounted and led Argo into the village, making a
beeline for the marketplace, Gabrielle in tow.
At the edge of the village market, she and Gabrielle paused to check their finances and decide
on purchases. Perhaps it was desperation, or even the feeling of finality she’d had that morning
that her search was over -- she caught a faint movement in a sea of movement out of the corner of
her eye and she turned her head quickly.
Thank the Gods, she thought. We’ve found him!
There he was, sitting near the baker just as she remembered him. The early afternoon sun
glinting off his chestnut hair, infusing his tanned skin with a magical glow. She drank in the sight
of him, not realizing till she’d seen him how much she’d been longing for the man. Automatically,
slowly, she moved towards him, as a heliotropic flower turns to face the sun.
“Xena -- ? Where are you going?” Gabrielle suddenly noticing she no longer had her friend’s
attention. She caught up with the warrior, put a gently restraining hand on her friend’s arm.
“Xena, what -- oh.” Gabrielle saw what had captured Xena’s attention.
“It’s about damn time,” Xena breathed. She started forward again to where Hercules stood
with Iolaus when Gabrielle stopped her again.
“Look Xena -- why don’t I go and talk to him? You haven’t had a good night’s sleep the past
few weeks --”
“What -- so you can get into Iolaus’ pants?” she returned archly.
“What? Xena!” Gabrielle sputtered as Xena made her way towards the object of her search.
He looked up at her then, and his face lit up with recognition. “Xena!” he called to her with a
smile.
Oh gods -- she prayed -- have I come in time? The last few steps were pure torture -- it
seemed to take forever to step forwards and grasp Hercules’ wrist in warrior’s greeting. As his
warm hand grasped her wrist she knew she had come in time. Now she could warn him, but of
what?
"Xena? Is something wrong?" Hercules questioned instantly concerned. He watched as Xena
relaxed, tension draining out of her body. Gods she's beautiful, he thought. He knew he couldn't
tell Xena of the dreams he had been having or the need to find her. Iolaus and he had been
searching for them for a fortnight.
"Gabrielle" Iolaus welcomed the bard. "What are you and Xena doing here?"
"Looking for you." Xena answered her eye's never leaving Hercules face.
"Why?" asked Hercules and Iolaus.
As Xena opened her mouth to answer the question, a small boy ran between the four.
"Hercules......you have to help my sister she's trapped in the mine!"
Chapter Three
As Xena and Hercules finished clearing the opening, the mountain grumbled, shaking
loose more rocks. Looking into the dark maw of the mountain, Xena shivered
unconciously. She did *not* want to go in there -- But I have to, she thought. It's
important.
Just as she secured a thin rope to an outcropping of rock, Hercules spoke up. "This
mine is going to collapse. We have to hurry."
"I don't trust only my luck, Hercules," she stated, giving the rope one last tug. It would
ill-behoove the two to get lost in the cavernous maze below -- she suppressed another
shudder.
"Ladies first," he offered, indicating the dark, dark place I don't want to go
opening. Xena gritted her teeth and bestowed him with an eloquent look that could -- and
had -- reduced lesser men to cowering. He only smiled winsomely and made as if to lead
the way. She wouldn't let him. Some things, she figured, as she entered the mine, are best
kept quiet.
After all -- what would her enemies say, if they knew? Or worse -- what would they
*do*?
The torches created an unwholesome flickering in the dark, causing too many shadows
around the two searchers. They followed the gently-worn ruts in the mine floor, made by
the carts the miners hauled the ore out with. Liberally strewn about the ground was
evidence of the mine's imminent collapse -- rocks of varying sizes -- but no boulders yet.
Xena deliberately avoided looking at the fractured supports around her, maintaining her
concentration on feeding the rope trail, and moving forward, deeper into the womb of the
earth.
I would rather much be going head to head with Draco, she thought. Or -- Ares. I
would rather face Ares unarmed and unarmored -- She stole a glance at her companion in
this rescue. Only you, she thought. You, or Gabrielle are the only ones I would do this
for. Of course, she would never let them know. Then they came upon the split in the
path.
Xena's heart leapt into her throat -- bitter spikes of adrenaline speared her through her
gut. It was only her years of control that kept her from revealing her despair to Hercules.
Left or right?
"I'll go left, Xena, and you can go right," Hercules suggested, turning to his chosen
path.
Xena's hand whipped out and caught hold of Hercules' wrist in a grip that would not be
denied. The coil of rope dropped to her feet as she gifted him with another of her eloquent
looks. "No," she said. "I won't risk the two of us getting separated. It's not safe. How
will you know which way to go if you get lost? How will you know if I find her? How
will I know if you find her?"
Hercules studied Xena's face in the uncertain light of the torches. He read nothing
there. It was all in her hand, the way she had grabbed him -- he could feel her strength
through the leather of his quantlets. As if -- as if she were holding on for her life?
"Xena, we don't have time for this,' he began.
"You don't have a rope,' she countered. "And what we don't have time for is argument."
As if to agree, the mountain shuddered once more, showering them with dust and
small rocks. The two, normally agile, gracelessly crashed into each other and fell against
a
wall. Hercules dropping his torch and Xena only barely managing to keep from
incinerating Hercules' locks with hers. For a long moment, the two looked into the other's
face, and Hercules found himself extremely aware of the woman before him. Her
breastplate pressed into his chest, not so much a hint of what hid beneath more an
advertisement of her charms. He'd always been aware of her womanhood, the way she
flaunted her female-ness in a male-dominated profession. For a moment, he forgot where
he was, and why he was there, entranced by the nearness of her. He traced a hand along
her back, feeling the texture of her battle-scarred leathers which she wore so well. His
hand reached the curve of her waist and began its descent to the swell of her hips.
Then he noticed her eyes reflected stark terror.
He stopped himself (What was I doing?! he realized, and a small part of him told
him she could do serious damage with those marvelous legs of hers) and pushed himself
away from her, helping her to right herself.
"Left or right?" he asked finally, and the sound of his voice seemed to bring Xena
back to herself, banishing the expression he'd seen earlier so completely, he wondered if he
imagined it.
"Left,'a voice whispered in Xena's ear, which she repeated softly, not questioning
who or what had spoken. Xena indicated the left tunnel. Hercules nodded, picked up his
torch and relit it from Xena's still-burning one. Numbly, Xena picked up the rope, and
they started down the cave carefully stepping through the creaking support timbers. With
each step the crying of the girl grew louder.
*****
Outside the cave Iolaus and Gabrielle waited. The beauty of the day was absolutely at
odds with the dark of the mine -- sun shining bright on its slow descent towards the west,
wind carrying with it the sound of leaves and the village, and the scent of fresh-baked
goods -- Gabrielle salivated a bit, and promised her grumbling stomach a nice, fresh
sweetbun after Xena returned. After all, she didn't want to give the mountain any ideas.
"Gabrielle, why was Xena looking for Herc?" Iolaus asked, partly to pass the time, but
also out of curiousity.
"What?" she said looking away from the entrance of the mine, resting her green eyes
on Iolaus. The growling in her tummy was replaced with a fluttery feeling. Stop
that, she told it. After Xena comes out, she promised it -- The fluttery feeling didn't
believe her any more about *that* than it did about the sweetbun.
"Oh, Xena has been having this dream -- a nightmare, a horrible, nasty, frightening
nightmare for the past two weeks.'
"Frightening?' Iolaus twitched a blonde eyebrow at her, a smile hovering about his lips
even though his face reflected only concern. "Must have been one powerful nightmare,"
he acceeded.
"Absolutely," Gabrielle replied, warming to the subject. "It's so frightening that she
breaks out into a cold sweat till she gleams in the starlight --' Gabrielle started
gesturing with her hands, fingers wide-apart, as she went deeper into her narrative. "It's
something so horrible that she awakens in the deadest hour of the night, eyes wide and
pupils dilated, screaming , 'No!' as if she's helpless to stop it --'
"I get the picture, Gabrielle -- " Iolaus laughed briefly, as he captured the bard's fingers
in his grasp as if to silence her by stilling the movement of her hands.
For a moment, Gabrielle's blood raced at Iolaus' touch, and the smile which came
easily to his face. Reluctantly, she pulled her hands away, and said, "All she can
remember is that Hercules is in danger."
Iolaus nodded, looked away from Gabrielle's face, which sported two bright spots of
color, and returned his gaze to the mine. The rope Xena had tied still stirred with
movement, though earlier, there had been a time when it had dropped, right after the last
quake.
"That's strange," he mused, rubbing his chin. "Herc's been having dreams about
her." Iolaus thought back the past two weeks to their own search for Xena. "Same type
of thing, I guess, except no waking up screaming." He smiled mischeivously at Gabrielle,
and added, "And no gleaming in the starlight either." Gabrielle mock-threatened him with
her staff as he grinned and ducked. "He would wake up, sit straight up in his blankets,
and I knew that he'd had that dream again. He could never remember the details, or if he
did, he never told me. All he would say was that he had to find her." Iolaus thought
further as Gabrielle filed away this bit of knowledge. "This sounds like . . . " He broke
off abruptly and grabbed the woman running past him. "Whoa, lady, you can't go in
there!"
"Let me go my daughter is in there!" the woman screamed as she fought the arm
restraining her. Tears threatened to spill out of her blue eyes as she struggled in Iolaus'
arms.
"Hercules and Xena are in there looking for her. They'll find her." Gabrielle said
softly. She touched the woman's arm and peered into her face, trying to convince the
woman of the sincerity of her words. The woman looked at Gabrielle and began crying,
her words unintelligible through her tears.
*****
The crying had continued growing louder. Hercules and Xena hastened their steps,
following the sound deep into the mine. The earth's grumbling provided an almost
constant backdrop to the weeping, till, at times, it nearly drowned out the child's cries. As
they rounded a sharp corner they saw her. Tumbles of dark curls, now matted with dust,
fell in a soft curtain around the girl's head, which rested upon her knees. She hadn't seen
their approach. Xena knelt beside the girl, gently touched her arm. The girl jerked and
looked at her, blinking in the light of the torches.
Xena smiled at the girl to reassure her, though she had a feeling that the child
would find even Cerebrus reassuring this this situation. Softly, she asked, "What's your
name little one?"
The child looked at her, hope undisguised in her eyes. "P-penelope" she answered
tremulously, sniffing and wiping her tears with a ragged sleeve of hyacinth-purple. Her
face was smeared with dirt and tears, and the whites of her red-rimmed eyes stood out in
stark relief.
"Hello Penelope, this is Hercules and my name is Xena. What say we get out of
here?"
For the first time the child smiled at them. Xena returned the smile and Hercules
watched as the child nodded and placed her thin arms around the warrior's neck. He was
amazed at the change that small gesture had in Xena. For a brief instant, he was reminded
of Deinaria and Alyia. How right she looks with a child in her arms, he thought.
And -- could Xena's arm be tightening around the girl in a hug?
"Are you * really * Hercules?' the girl asked, looking at him over Xena's
shoulder.
Chapter Four
As Xena and Hercules exited the cave with Penelope still clutching Xena, it gave one
last deep rumble and collapsed. No one saw Xena’s quiet sigh of relief as she emerged
from the darkness. Seeing her mother running toward her, Penelope struggled in Xena's
grasp. Xena gently placed the child on the ground smiling as she saw mother and child
reunite.
"Xena!!!!" Gabrielle screamed and began running toward her friend. As she reached her
Gabrielle hugged her and whispered, "We need to talk....Now!"
Nodding Xena turned to Hercules, her breath catching in her throat. She watched as he
casually brushed off the dirt and grime from the mine.
*I must look a mess,* she thought, and at that moment Hercules looked up to see
her watching him, and he smiled. "Hercules...." she started, and for once the woman won
over the warrior, she stepped toward him . A tug on her arm, brought her back to
Gabrielle's request.
"Xena....NOW!!!" Gabrielle said grabbing her arm. The action snapped the warrior
back into control. Xena wrenched her arm from Gabrielle and began marching off toward
Argo.
"What Gabrielle?" Xena snapped as they reached Argo.
"Well, Xena, for one you can stop snapping at everything I say," Gabrielle replied
pointedly. The two women stared at each other blue eyes flashing into equally angry
green ones.
*****
"Are you ready Cupid?"
"Lachesis...." He began and took a deep breath before continuing. "This won't work.
Remember what happened when he was accidentally hit with an arrow and fell in love
with Psyche? Or what about when Xena was hit and fell for Draco? They both.....wait
maybe
this will work...Look" He pointed at Hercules approaching the two women, both so
locked in their conversation they had not seen his approach.
*****
"Gabrielle, I'm sorry."
Green eyes met blue once more – Gabrielle looked again at her friend and saw what the
past weeks had done to her. Xena seemed worn thin, somehow; her swarthy skin had a
grayish tone to it, and didn’t quite hide the dark circles under her eyes.
"I know the dream and no sleep," Gabrielle murmured. "But Xena – this is important,
and I think that it’s related. What I wanted to tell you was that while you and Hercules
were in the mine, Iolaus and I talked about your dream. It seems Hercules has been
having a dream about you too -- "
"I have woken every night for the past two weeks from a dream," came a voice behind
them. Xena turned and saw Hercules coming up behind her. Rock dust grayed out his
chestnut hair and for a moment Xena thought –
*I can see us growing old together . . .*
"All I can remember is I have to find you, Xena," Hercules stated.
Not taking her eyes from the man before her, Xena said, "Gabrielle, why don’t you find
some lunch?"
"Lunch? But I – " the protest was never finished as Xena glanced at Gabrielle, and an
unspoken communication seemed to pass betwixt the two. "Lunch a good idea," Gabrielle
amended.
Xena waited while Gabrielle excused herself, and she watched her friend charm Iolaus
into obtaining a meal. As the two started back for the village, Xena turned back to
Hercules. "I think we need to talk."
"I agree," he responded.
For a moment they were silent, standing in the midday sun, the dust of the mine still
clinging to their bodies. Neither knew where to start, they had so much to say and were
both unsure of how to say it.
"Xena, about what happened in the mine....It shouldn't have happened....I don't
know..." Hercules started. The idea that in a time of crisis he had been thinking only of
the woman in his arms and not the child embarrassed him. He took a deep breath to
continue, but Xena stopped him.
"Why shouldn’t it have happened?" she responded.
"I think it had something to do with the dreams we have both been having. I should
have known –" he stepped towards her and without warning, enfolded her in his arms.
Xena went stiff with surprise, realized *this* felt so right, yet at the same time, she felt
unable to let her guard down. Hercules released her and stepped back, searching
her eyes, searching for words. "I should have known better when we last met and you said
that the time for us had past."
"I never said that." Xena interrupted looking puzzled. "I know that it has been a long
time since we have seen each other, but I never said anything like that."
*And I would know,* she thought. She remembered their every meeting, as if her
every moment with Hercules was graven in stone. What he said, what she said, how he
looked, how he smiled – she looked at him in puzzlement.
"It was when...." Hercules sat on a boulder and continued, "Oh Gods that didn't
happen. I'm sorry I brought it up."
"Well as long as you brought it up why don't you explain it." Xena asked taking a seat
beside him.
"Serena was my second wife." Hercules said and saw the flash of pain in Xena's eyes
before her mask once more fell into place. "Strife killed her and for a while I was accused
of it. You came to help me and said that the time for us to be together had past. Then
Autolycus stole the Chronos crystal and we both went back in time. I was able to save
her, but at a cost -- Serena is married to someone else and has a daughter. So I am the
only one who remembers it other than Autolycus."
"Hercules... I...." Xena started reaching out to touch him and found herself at a loss
for words. How could she comfort him for something that didn't happen? She wondered
if she would ever be able to make that sort of a sacrifice for someone – to lose them in
order to save them. "It was very brave of you," she finally said into the silence. "Brave
and very strong. I'm sorry."
Once again silence overwhelmed them. Each tried to find the words to say what they
needed and wanted to tell the other. Time stretched on as the day grew old while the two
sat looking at each other. Several people passed them on the way to the village, but none
interrupted the two figures sitting quietly beside one another.
"Hercules... I ...." Xena shook her head and continued, "I think you know that I
have been having a dream concerning you for a while now."
"Yes."
"All I remember is you are in some type of danger. And I don’t know how –"
Then she knew –
*****
I see him, standing in a pool of moonlight. The dream! I’m remembering it! The
moonlight silvers his dark hair, and he smiles at me and my heart falls in love with him
anew. I feel like I’m walking through thick syrup, trying to reach him, my husband –
-- my husband – and I notice for the first time, I’m armed and armored. The peacock
feather floats gently down, like a venomous kiss, towards his unprotected head. And I
understand it all now, and I raise my sword despite the feeling of moving through syrup,
and for a moment a look of shock crosses his beloved face.
I swing.
And the peacock feather falls in two pieces, on either side of him.
*****
She was aware of his hands on her shoulders, gently shaking her from her trance.
"Xena?" Hercules asked as she looked at him. She knew what she had to do –
And her guts twisted into an icy mass.
*I can’t, I can’t, I can’t . . .*
*Stop,* she told herself. If he could lose someone so completely as he’d lost
Serena, then she most certainly could do this. If he loved Serena enough to lose her, then
she could do no less.
"Hercules," she began, "this is going to be very difficult for me."
He released her, satisfied that she was fine, and nodded for her to continue.
"I know what needs to be done," she continued, "but it depends on how you feel
about it."
"Feel about what?" He asked puzzled.
"Hercules.... " She looked him squarely in the eyes. "I know I'm not the type of
woman most men find attractive..."
"My Gods Xena! You don't realize how beautiful you are, do you?" As he spoke he
grasped her shoulders and gently shook her as if to shake the idea from her mind. "Any
man who doesn't find you so is a fool!"
She blinked at him in surprise – then a wry smile formed on her face as she
considered the words he had spoken and his action. "Since that obviously isn’t a problem
then – Hercules, will you marry me?"
Chapter Five
".... Hercules will you marry me?"
His hands dropped from her shoulders as if he had been burned by her touch. He
jumped to his feet. A bronzed hand ran through his chestnut hair as Hercules glared down
at Xena. "I hope that was a joke, Xena," he stated, the usual humor gone from his voice.
She was amazed at the transformation that had so quickly come over him. The smile
vanished from her face. "No, it wasn't a joke. I know it's the only way to stop the danger
I see in my dreams. I'm sure Iolaus told you what he and Gabrielle talked about."
Let me protect you, she thought at him as hard as she could. How else would she be
able to repay all the good he had done her in the past? How best could she express --
gods, how could she say it, when it was hard enough to think it -- her love for him?
Hercules responded, but in a way that she did not expect. "I can handle any danger
that comes along. I don't need the great warrior princess to protect me."
Xena gave Hercules the cold assessing stare Gabrielle had termed "The Look". Rising,
she took a couple of steps towards the village. 'Fine,' she thought angrily, 'I spent two
weeks without sleep trying to find you to protect you from Hera, and all you can do is act
like Ares.' She seethed inwardly, cold fury bubbling, barely controlled, barely concealed
behind a frigid mask.
Hercules, realizing what he had said, reached a hand out to grasp her shoulder, an
apology on his lips. As his fingers touched her shoulder, he felt the muscles contract, saw
the lissome muscles of her back tighten. He had only enough time for one thought -- "uh
oh".
Reaching back instinctively, Xena grasped his wrist, whirled around,.whipped the arm
down and around, flipping Hercules to the ground. The next thing Hercules realized was
the pressure of a booted foot on his chest, with several stone of magnificent Warrior
Princess backing it up. He also noticed that her eyes were a richer shade of blue than the
afternoon sky.
"Will you listen to me now?" Xena asked in a low voice that brooked no argument.
Hercules nodded.
"Good! Now as I was saying," she continued reaching down to help him to his feet.
"For the past two weeks I have been having a recurring dream that you are in danger.
Somehow Hera is involved...." Hercules opened his mouth to speak but a wave of her
hand silenced him. "I know that you are good at warding off her plots against you. This
one is different. Together we can defeat it but you alone will not be able to stop it."
For a long moment, Hercules gazed at her, searching for her motives. She waited for
him to speak, face expressionless as stone. Why marriage? It did not fit her character -
- he could not think of anything she could gain from it.
Could she -- Hercules glanced away for a moment, escaping the penetrating blue eyes
that demanded an answer. His brows furrowed in a thought he nearly found hard to
believe. Was it possible, - despite the words of the past, - that Xena -- loved him?
Torn, he glanced back at her, gave her a measuring gaze of his own. Carefully, he chose
his next words. "I'll agree with that, but why marriage? Xena, I don't have a great record
with wives. Hera had Pyro kill Deinarra and my children, and I told you about Serena. I
think Callisto said it best, my love is a curse."
"That may be for other women, but I'll tell you what I told Neptune: I'm not afraid of
the Gods. If that is the only reason for not marrying me I don't see a problem." Taking a
deep breath Xena continued before he could interrupt. "Hercules it's no secret that I have
cared for you for a long time. I know at one time you cared for me also. Gabrielle is the
one who is gifted with words, not me. I have to let my actions speak for me. Do you
understand?"
"I think so..."
Xena stepped closer and placed her hands on his shoulders. Running her hands up his
neck she pulled him to her and kissed him. Her hands, lips and body telling him what her
words could not. I'm not afraid. I accept the danger.
I love you.
She felt his arms wrap around her waist as he understood and accepted her unspoken
truths. He answered her in kind. I accept your love. I love your strength. I love your
courage.
And I love you too.
What needed to be said was said, and they broke the kiss but continued to hold each
other close as the sun set in the mountains.
To Be Continued
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