Wrestlemania X8 -- The Limerick.
We begin with the band named Saliva.
The theme song, to bring the crowd alive-a.
For our sake, the song
Doesn't last very long...
Guys, I don't think that I could survive ya.
Rob Van Dam has appeared at the dance,
And Regal could have stood a chance,
If those stupid brass knucks
Hadn't changed all his luck --
Next time, keep your hand out of your pants.
Now Christian takes on DDP.
Scarier smiles you never did see.
Chrissy can't keep his shit,
And he pitches a fit,
But the boy's still a winner to me!
Maven is fighting the Dust.
Gold accessories surely a must.
But 24-7
Makes this ADD Heaven --
Spike makes Dustin's gold mine come up bust.
Look, there's hard rock band Drowning Pool!
(Did one song make them think they were cool?)
Then Al and his boxes
Knock us out of our sockses
But Shane Helms plays them all for a fool.
Yay, it's Angle! He's fighting Big Red.
And keeps dropping the guy on his head.
The boys screech, "Head trauma!"
Guess Kane *could* cry to mama...
Well, if Mark hadn't burned 'em all dead.
Hurricane is surrounded by hos!
And look, they're removing their clothes!
But one look at his broom
And he's chased from the room.
When you're mid-card, that's just how it goes.
Legend Match: It's UT vs. Flair.
Blood gets in the half-owner's white hair.
The old fella shows spark,
And might even beat Mark!!!
...Nope, the bookers just can't seem to care.
Booker T fights my big blond sex toy.
(Course, we all root for the hometown boy.)
Edgey looks looney
Doing the Spinerooni
But he wins, and gets teary with joy.
Mighty Molly, whom I have adored,
Clocks her partner -- yep, Hurri is floored.
And now what've we got?
We've got Steve-o and Scott!
Four words: "Look out, Betty Ford!"
But we cannot forget Kevin Nash,
Who *also* wants some of this clash.
Stands around looking hot
'Til his Stunner's been got,
Then he leaves, having *earned* his day's cash.
Moving on to our Tag Match of Doom.
There's those guys with that song "Click Click Boom".
Now, not to be crass,
Stacy's got one fine ass,
And Jeffy looks like the model for gloom.
Not to forget Billy and Chuck,
Who sure know the meaning of "suck".
Clad in yellow and pink,
And I really do think,
Bradshaw'd rather hit them with his truck.
But anyway, on to the match,
Where a table and D-Von play catch.
It seems Jeff's not attracted,
But Legs's bottom gets smacked-ed,
And our winners just don't prefer snatch.
Backstage, things aren't quite so gay.
See? There's Molly, she's running away.
But she gets sneak-attacked --
Seems her noggin gets whacked --
And for now, our new hardcore champ's Jay.
Here's the moment they've been waiting for,
Rock and Hogan, to even the score.
And though Rocky's the one
Who's the Peeps' Champion,
In the Skydome, it's Hulk they adore.
So they all respect Hulk, like they should,
But for Rocky, it's not quite so good.
'Cause the booing won't stop
'Til the Peeps' Elbow Pop.
Hogan's loss splits the ol' brotherhood.
Now here comes the bathroom break.
('Cause it's just more than most fans can take.)
And though Lita and Trish
Both appear quite delish
For Miss Jazz, this one's a piece of cake.
Hey, it looks like Jay might just escape!
There's no sign of the girl in the cape.
But here Maven appears,
Snags his title and cheers,
Leaving Chrissy alone to go ape.
So we finally hit the main event:
Chris & Hunter -- now *that's* heaven-sent!
And I'm not even minding
My boy's clothing is blinding.
Stephy screeches -- my hearing just went.
But the *real* main attraction, you see,
We expect one long-teased Stephigree.
And despite fall through table,
Hunner *finally* is able,
As we all shriek with uncontrolled glee.
Hunter's win concludes one painful show --
(I've been writing four hours, you know!)
Though I've got carpal pain,
I can't seem to complain,
These folks always give me such a glow.