"(I'd call it 'Pi's Page', but where's the paper..?)"

Holy smokes, this Web's confusin'. Odd names for everythin'! First time I got a message 'bout 'cookies' on the screen, I thought Magnus was naggin' me for eatin' at the console. Turns out it's web-talk for the end o' the line leavin' a Post-It note to remember me next time I visit. Not a chocolate chip in sight. There I was gettin' all worried..!

But that's me. No fancy frills, but I'll get the job done. Do my bit to cheer up the place if folks're down. Help out where I can. Throw you a joke or two. An' if there's Decepti-pests about... whoo, boy. Count on me to do a lil' fumigatin'..!
I got a song o' sorts that sums it up 'bout me. Tune ain't mine, but it's kinda my theme. Rolls along nice. Jus' like me!

Sharp optics may notice I ain't local to Earth. That's 'cause we Autobots hail from a few lightyears down the road. Place called Cybertron. Unfortunately, the Decepticons're there too, so life ain't all roses. But what the hey? We manage. There's stuff on me n' Cybertron if ya click the red badges up top, there.

STUFF I LIKE

• Human kids. They're great, ain't they? Lil' tykes get away with anythin'. And they KNOW it! Give 'em an inch and they swarm all over ya. Literally! Hoist put a tough coat o' paint on me that stands up to most stuff... but it ain't kid-proof. Heh-heh! Aw, kids are cool. Half my best gadgets were built with Munchkins in mind, so I guess I owe 'em.
  
  
• Earth gadgets. I got about 1,650*, last count. Some say it's gettin' outta hand, but whatda they know? An' they say I collect any ol' junk - now that ain't true! I'm selective. I like the lil' pocket gizmos best. Like the Cyber-Pet an' YakBak - they're ingenious. Artforms, an' a lotta fun, too. One day they'll be worth a fortune. You wait and see..!
  
  
• Monster truck rallies. You know the kind - tug o' wars, racin', scramblin'. Great stuff. I'd join in 'f I could. But Ultra Magnus doesn't let us - somethin' 'bout scaring the human competitors. Loada gas fumes 'f ya ask me, but he's the boss. Still, nothin' can stop me watchin' in truck mode. An' ya never know... maybe one day someone'll spot it's really me under the hood an' count me in!
  
  
• Cookies. Chocolate chip energon cookies, that is. The type a truck can eat!

WEB-SITES AN' LINKS

Loada facinatin' stuff on this-here Net thing. Seems you can get a site for every occasion (why are they called sites? ... no, wait. Guess ya do 'construct' stuff on 'em). An' I DO mean everythin'!
Here's a bunch I like:

• http://zope.webtruck.org/webtruck Heh-heh! Now this is cute. Practise yer truckin' skills! This site's got a lil' green fella who likes to tidy up his place by shuntin' bits and pieces around and tippin' 'em into a box! You can talk to yer mates while you're at it.

• http://www.mimitchi.com/ This guy knows all there is to know about feedin,' care an' how to make your cyberpets, Furbies, 'Gotchies, Digi-dudes an' Pokey-pals all feel welcome an' loved!

• http://www.toysrus.com/ For kids an' big kids alike - say what you want, there's cool gadgets in here..!

• http://www.monstertrucks.net/ A site on truck n' tractor contests, an' important stuff ya need to know... I like this one!

• http://rinkworks.com/jokes/pages.shtml Jokes. Where I get mine from..? Ain't tellin'...

• Pipe Dream ..hey, whatda ya mean it'll never happen..?! Sheesh - some people...

Well, that's it f' now! Might have updates in the PIPEline for ya later (pipeline - Pipes, geddit?), 'cause let's face it, this Web's pretty 'mazin'. Least I can figure why it's called the WEB - once you're in, you're well an' truely caught!

Keep truckin'!

Pipes

Artwork by Markatron