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First to turn around in a long line of dissent An illusion or a fantasy to
save the world again. Maybe we are strong with a fire in the hand Or maybe
we are lost as one of them
and one of them...
--The Last Dance, "Inside"
The trip back to Angel Island was uneventful. When they returned to the House, Nick and Carmack carried Derek up to his room while Dominick started coffee and breakfast for everyone. Rachel checked in on Kat, who was fortunately still asleep, then collected the necessary medical equipment and joined them in Derek's room.
While she drew blood for her tests and the men made sure he was as comfortable as possible, Derek stirred slightly but did not wake up. Carmack looked at Nick, then said, "Rachel, I think one of us should stay with him at all times until you've got the results."
"And the spells are broken," Nick added. "I'll take the--"
Carmack gently laid a hand on his shoulder and said, "I think you should stick near Philip for a bit -- he seems to be pretty comfortable with you around. I can take the first watch -- as long as someone brings me breakfast and some coffee."
Nick nodded, knowing he was right about Philip. "Yeah, you're right," he agreed softly, "Thanks. You want an omelette or what?"
"Heck, I'll eat just about anything -- just no doughnuts, okay?" He was relieved to see Nick actually smile at that, and added, "Omelette would be great, though. Thanks, Nick."
While they dealt with Derek, Alex and Philip headed straight for the Control room. On the way there, she asked him, "How are you holding up?"
"I dunno," he answered truthfully. "I jus' -- I keep thinkin' about what Arkadi did t'me, an'..."
"It's okay to be scared, Philip," she said softly. "Just don't let that fear control you. I know, it's easy to say it, but not so easy to do..."
He nodded and said, "Yeah -- I'm tryin', though."
"And you're doing great," she said as they entered the room and started turning on equipment.
"Okay," Philip said, eager to get his mind onto something other than lash marks and pain, "You said there was a magic circle, a spell from the candles an' the incense?"
"And symbols written on his back -- I don't know if it was smeared by the whipping or what, but it definitely doesn't look complete," she said, pulling the box flap out of her pocket and handing it to him. She was surprised to see his eyes go wide with shocked recognition, and even more surprised when he muttered a curse.
"You recognize it?" she asked, not quite sure, from his reaction, whether this was a good thing.
"No' all of it, but some -- this here, an' here," he said, pointing out some of the symbols, "I've seen 'em before."
"That's great," she said, not entirely able to hide her enthusiasm. She placed the box flap down on the scanner and activated it, watching the symbols appear on the large screen.
"No, it isn'," Philip said, shaking his head. "It's not good at all -- If I'm no' crazy, that's th' *same* kind of Paleo-Hebrew that was on Hitchcock's accursed scroll..."
As he sat down at a terminal and began keying in a search, Alex could hear him muttering a prayer for Derek's soul. A chill gripped her, and suddenly images flashed across her mind's eye: Victor Arkadi carefully unwrapping an ancient, fragile scroll and smiling with evil glee; herbs and resins and berries being ground to a thick paste in an ancient stone bowl; the angel who had threatened them handing Arkadi a feather that glittered black with latent power, and Arkadi dipping the feather into a liquid filling that ancient bowl -- and then a terrible flash of dark power and an overwhelming instant of triumph as a pattern of symbols covering Derek's entire back flared up and then vanished, except for the tiny amount left when she'd discovered it. "Oh!" she gasped, grabbing the edge of the table to keep her balance. "Oh god..."
"Alex?" Philip cried, jumping from his chair and helping her back to it, letting her sit before her trembling legs gave out. "My God, Alex, *what* did ya See?!"
"Arkadi -- he -- he was reading an old scroll -- it must have been as old as that one Hitchcock brought here...He drew symbols all *over* Derek's back using a feather that angel gave him!"
"Mother of God..." Philip whispered. "Wha' happened ta th' rest of 'em?"
"It flared up in some kind of dark flash, and then they all vanished -- except for that little bit."
"Th' spell went off -- somethin' must've kept it from workin' completely..." he murmured, frowning thoughtfully. After a moment, a feeling of cold terror washed over him and he looked up, meeting Alex's equally horrified gaze. "My God, Alex, he *knows* wha' Derek is -- I think he's tryin' t'change him inta a full-blown fallen angel!"
She opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out. She swallowed hard and tried again, finally managing to whisper, "How could he know?"
Philip shook his head and said, "I dunno, but I'm bettin' his new ally had a lot t'do with it..."
She nodded and unhappily agreed, "You're probably right..." Then she took a deep breath and said, "I don't know what stopped it from working -- if Derek was as far gone as he seems to have been, it can't have been him fighting it..."
"Was the scroll damaged? You've seen th' condition of most of th' Dead Sea Scrolls -- some of 'em are nothin' but crumblin' bits..."
She frowned and closed her eyes, trying to See more than a brief flash of an image and trying not to See any more of the vision than the part she needed to. After a moment, she shivered and took a deep shuddering breath. "Yes," she said shakily, "it *was* damaged -- part of it was missing..." She looked up as he whispered a prayer of thanks, smiled sympathetically as he met her gaze.
"That might be th'only thing that kept it from workin'..." Philip said uncomfortably.
"Are you sure that's what Arkadi was trying to do to him? Maybe he just wanted to...to-- I don't know..." She shook her head and looked down again.
"I don't know either," Philip said softly. "But I've got a sinkin' suspicion that's what he was tryin' t'do..." He turned back to the computer, seeing that the search had brought up the file he wanted. "Okay, let's see if I'm rememberin' right," he said, keying in a few commands. A moment later, the image of the writing from Derek's back was on the screen next to an image of an ancient scroll.
"Okay," Alex said, looking over his shoulder at the monitor, then glancing up at the large screen. "The image on the left is Hitchcock's scroll, right?" When Philip nodded, she asked, "How about having the computer scan them both for matching symbols, or even combinations of symbols?"
Philip nodded and keyed in some more commands, then they both sat back and watched as the computer searched through the much longer text of the scroll, highlighting every match it found. When it was done, Philip frowned up at the large screen and said, "Tha's not good...Wish we could get a hold of the one Arkadi's got, t'see if it's th' same hand..."
"What the hell are you looking at that *thing* for?" Nick's voice came from the entrance, startling them both. They turned to see Rachel and Nick, the latter carrying trays loaded with breakfast. He scowled at the image of the scroll with an expression of disgust.
"The spell on Derek's back -- the symbols are from the same kind of Paleo- Hebrew," Alex explained.
"Great..." Nick said, walking to one of the counters and putting down the trays while Rachel headed towards the lab.
"How's he doin'?" Philip asked.
Rachel paused and said, "Frank's staying with him right now -- he's still pretty out of it, but he doesn't seem to be in any kind of distress so I don't think we're dealing with any kind of overdose." She showed them the blood samples and said, "I've got to get started on these to see what was given to him, and check out that incense sample, too."
They nodded and let her continue on to the lab, while Alex and Philip joined Nick to pick at breakfast. "So, can you tell what the spell *said*?" Nick asked, motioning up at the screen with a fork.
Alex shook her head and said, "No, there wasn't enough of it to read -- I don't even think we've got a complete word."
"Well, some of the Dead Sea Scroll experts've gotten words out of fragments like this," Philip said softly. "We might be able t'get somethin', but without th' scroll it came from, there's no way t'actually break or reverse th' spell. Alex had a vision of it..."
"What did you see?" Nick asked, knowing that he was grasping at straws. "Because the scroll was damaged, the spell didn't take full effect. The angel we ran into seemed to be helping Arkadi, and we suspect that he was trying to use the spell to transform Derek *into* an angel..." she explained.
"Philip's right -- without actually knowing the full text of the spell, we can't hope to break it, and I have *no idea* what kind of spell or prayer or ritual could work to reverse it."
Nick looked at her for a long moment, then asked, "Arkadi knows what he is?"
"I strongly suspect he does," Alex said softly. "No real proof, though, just a hunch..."
"You're probably right," Nick said, trying to still the panic rising in him. "So, what do we *do*?"
Philip looked at the image on the screen and said, "We should at leas' translate what we've got of it, although if this is from the part tha' was damaged, then it's probably not ev'n the right word...Maybe we c'n search through th' old Hebrew texts f'r some kinda match, or for what it *should* be..."
Nick nodded, but at the same time said, "If this scroll is from the same time as the other one, then I seriously doubt it's referred to in any other text..."
"I know tha'," Philip said softly. "But it's better than nothin'."
"Yeah," Nick agreed. "So...while you work on that, how 'bout Alex and I try to figure out where Arkadi's gone to ground at. If we need the full text of the scroll, then we need to find a way to get it from him..." Philip nodded and they each settled into their own tasks.
Walk with me let me dream of one shining moment with you
Falling into your open arms and calling your name...
No regrets, no turning back
Oh throw caution to the wind
My whole life pales beside the look in your eyes tonight.
--The Shroud, "Tonight"
After a hurried, fruitless search, Philip had to concede that he could find no match for any spell similar to what he thought the one used on Derek might be. The symbols Alex had copied couldn't be translated as any recognizable word, but if one similar symbol was substituted for another, the word could become "wing", lending a little more weight to their suspicion of Arkadi's plans.
Alex and Nick did not fare any better, completely unable to pick up Arkadi's trail. Wherever he had gone, he was paying everything by cash and using private transportation instead of any commercial carriers. Later, as Nick and Philip sat together in the library, Philip sighed, "Maybe he's gone back ta Qumran..."
Nick sat up and looked at his friend. "That's it!" he said excitedly. "He's probably looking for any scraps of that scroll, to see if he can complete the spell..."
"And we can't leave t'stop 'im with Derek still out of it," Philip whispered. "With Alex watchin' him now, an' Frank back on th' mainland tryin' t'get somethin' out of Arkadi's goon...We've got t'be here when Derek wakes up..."
"I'll call the London House and see if they can send someone to Qumran to keep an eye out for him," Nick said, standing and walking to the phone. By the end of what had become a fairly long phone call, Philip was asleep in his chair. Nick smiled, seeing how gentle and serene Philip always looked when he slept. He tiptoed back to the chair and gently stroked Philip's cheek, smiling as his friend leaned into the caress. He moved to stroke Philip's dark hair, and his friend sighed softly. _Oh god..._ Nick thought, suddenly realizing what he was doing. _He's gonna kill me for taking advantage of him like this..._
And then Philip shifted in the chair and Nick caught a glimpse of the beginning of an erection. _Aw hell, Philip, how am I supposed to ignore that..._ Almost unconsciously, he strengthened his caress, sliding his fingers down to cup Philip's cheek and gently stroke his thumb over the parted lips. When Philip moaned softly and mouthed his thumb, Nick knew he was lost.
He kneeled down before Philip, continuing the gentle caress until Philip was nibbling on his thumb in his sleep. Then he drew closer and carefully extricated his thumb, then leaned in and kissed Philip. For a moment, Nick could feel Philip open to him, welcoming the kiss eagerly, allowing his tongue to probe tenderly between soft lips -- and then the stormy eyes shot open and Philip pulled back, gasping in near terror. "No! Stop it--" Instantly, Nick backed off, making himself look as unthreatening as possible.
"Whoa -- easy, Philip, it's just me, Nick. Calm down," he said softly, relieved when he saw reason return to Philip's eyes. "It's okay..."
"Oh, God, Nick...y'scared me -- all I could think was tha' he had me again -- I'm sorry..." Philip said shakily.
Nick reached out slowly to lay a hand on Philip's chest, feeling his heart thumping hard. "Easy, Philip, easy," he soothed, noticing that despite the sudden fright, Philip's erection had not subsided completely.
Philip saw where Nick's gaze fell and blushed furiously as his body began to recover from the fright and the heat he could feel from Nick's hand travelled straight to his disobedient loins. "Nick, I...oh God help me, I want t'feel ya so bad -- Don' want t'remember his hands on me..."
"You know I'll do anything you want me to," Nick said softly, moving his hand to cup Philip's chin and turn his face to meet his gaze. "And I want to be with you, too..."
"Nick, I can't..." Philip whispered unhappily, although he could feel his resolve crumbling as Nick continued to hold his gaze. "I..."
"Come upstairs, Philip. Let me touch you -- kiss you all over...I want to make it so that the only thing you remember is *my* hands on you," Nick whispered softly. He saw the instant Philip's body made the decision for him, his mouth opening in a quiet gasp and his eyes going wide as the need won over his doubts. Philip nodded and stood, heading wordlessly for his room with Nick right behind him.
Nick noticed Philip's slight hesitation when they got to his room, saw him swallow hard and whisper something that Nick assumed had to be a prayer for forgiveness. However, less than a second later, they continued into the room and Nick smiled as Philip locked the door behind them. "Oh God..." Philip whispered, leaning back against the door. For a moment, Nick was worried that the subconscious fears he knew *had* to be there had gotten the better of Philip, and he knew he was quite willing to just lie in the bed with him and hold him all day if that was what Philip wanted.
"It's okay, Philip," Nick said softly. "If you don't want to, I'm not going to get angry or upset -- I'm certainly *not* going to force you to do something you don't want to do!" He held out his hand, smiling when Philip reached out and grasped it. "And I'm going to make sure I don't hurt you in any way -- I'm sure you're still in pain...I'll do whatever you want me to do, Philip. You know I love you..."
"I know, Nick. 'm jus' a little...scared," Philip answered shakily.
"Come here," Nick coaxed, gently pulling him towards the bed. "We'll just lie here and I'll hold you for a bit, how's that?" He backed slowly towards the bed, relieved when Philip didn't pull back but instead joined him readily.
Once on the bed, Nick could feel Philip slowly settling into the embrace, his body relaxing bit by bit. "Y'know," Nick murmured in his ear, "there's nothing at all wrong with being nervous even though you know you're safe."
"I know," Philip answered softly, trying to keep his voice steady, "It's jus' tha'...Oh God, Nick, I dunno what I want anymore...I don't want ta sin, but I need t'feel you; I don' want to feel his hands on me again but I do ev'ry time I close my eyes...I jus' don' want t'be scared anymore..."
"Well, forcing yourself to do something you don't really want to or aren't ready to isn't the way to do it," Nick answered.
"Tha's part of th' problem," Philip whispered with a slight smile, "it *isn'* somethin' I don't really want...'m too weak t'be a priest..."
Philip started nuzzling against Nick, who swallowed hard as he felt the nuzzling beginning to turn into gentle kisses. _God, I hope I'm not going to have any trouble stopping if he decides he's not ready for this,_ he thought as he turned and kissed Philip gently. Slowly, carefully, he ran the tip of his tongue over Philip's soft lips then probed gently between them, sighing as Philip's lips parted, allowing the tender invasion.
He kept the kiss gentle, allowing Philip to proceed at his own pace. The last thing he wanted to do was make his friend think or feel that he was being forced to do something...However, when he felt how hard Philip was becoming and realized that Philip's tongue was practically battling his, he relaxed some of his control and just let things happen. Hands tangled as they tried to strip each other without breaking the kiss, and finally they had to break off when Philip began laughing. Nick smiled down at Philip, relief flooding him as he saw the look in his eyes. At least for the moment, Philip was free of both the demons he tortured himself with and the ones Arkadi had sent to join them.
"Nick," Philip panted, "I want you..."
"Yeah," Nick said, equally breathlessly. "Let's get these clothes off!" Nick stripped quickly, then turned his attention to Philip. Concerned that the bandages over his wounds might get caught, he helped Philip remove his shirt, raining kisses over his shoulders and the back of his neck. He checked the bandages, and when he was sure they were secure and that the wounds hadn't begun bleeding or oozing, he turned his attention to Philip's trousers. He eased those off, trying not to allow the erection straining at Philip's briefs to distract him; and let them drop onto the floor without caring how they fell, chuckling slightly as he heard change fall out of the pockets. "Sorry..."
"We'll worry 'bout it later, Nick," Philip breathed in his ear, grabbing one of his hands and pressing it against his hard cock. "There's more importn't things..."
"God, Philip, you don't know how much I've missed this," Nick murmured as he slid the hand beneath the waistband of Philip's briefs and gently stroked up and down his length.
Philip's only answer was a low moan as he shifted on the bed and lay back, spreading his legs to allow Nick better access. Very carefully, Nick tugged off his shorts and sighed as his cock sprang free. Philip moaned again, then gasped in surprise as he felt Nick gently kiss his cock. "What're y'doing?" he asked, looking up enough to see Nick kneeling over him on the bed, then falling back again as Nick's tongue laved the underside of his organ. "Oh no...Oh Nick..." he moaned as Nick's mouth worked down to his balls where he alternated between bathing the sac with his tongue and ever-so-gently nibbling at Philip's inner thighs. "Y'r such a tease, Nick Boyle," he said -- when he could remember how to speak.
Nick looked up with a twinkle in his eye, and said, "I could stop, if you'd like..."
"Don't ya dare stop now..."
"That's what I thought," Nick purred, and then he took the straining organ in his mouth, bathing it with his tongue and teasing the opening mercilessly before deep-throating it. The moans and groans coming from Philip were driving him mad, but he was determined to take care of his friend first before dealing with any selfish need for his own release.
Philip groaned as the gentle but insistent sucking sent pleasure spiralling through his entire body, feeling the inevitable coiling of sensation in his belly as orgasm neared. He arched back into the pillows and barely managed to choke back a scream as suddenly he exploded in pleasure, his balls emptying down Nick's throat almost faster than his friend could swallow.
As he lay panting, trying to keep his head from swimming, he felt Nick carefully release his softening cock and lick up the drops of cum that had spilled. Then his friend was lying down on the bed next to him and gently nuzzling him. He turned his head and looked at Nick, then rolled onto his side to embrace him as Nick kissed him gently.
He smiled slightly into the kiss, and slowly trailed a hand down Nick's side; feeling lean, powerful muscles shiver at the teasing touch. And then Nick groaned as the questing hand closed around his aching cock. "Oh...God -- Philip!" he managed to gasp, giving himself over to the sensations.
Philip could tell from Nick's moans that he was close, but didn't want things to be over almost before they had begun. "Hold on a minute, Nick," he whispered apologetically, releasing the straining organ again and propping himself up to look around the room. "Be back in jus' a second," he promised, rolling out of bed and heading for the bathroom before Nick could protest.
"What are you doing?" Nick asked as Philip returned with a small bottle of hand lotion. "I don't think--"
Philip kissed him and climbed back into bed, then whispered, "Don' worry, it's not wha' you're thinkin'." He poured a small amount of the lotion into his hand then put the bottle aside, and gently coated Nick's cock, noticing the delicious shudder that ran through his lover as he did so. Then he lay down and snuggled as close to Nick as possible, and closed his thighs around the straining organ, smiling at the almost animal groan from Nick as he did so.
"OoooohhGod," Nick moaned, barely able to think as Philip embraced him and encouraged him to thrust into the tightness. Then they were kissing, Nick's tongue plundering his mouth as they established a rhythm, Philip's hands closing on his muscular buttocks and pulling him as close as possible. Suddenly Nick was gasping and thrusting hard between his legs, and Philip could feel the flood of hot liquid as Nick came, realizing too late that he should have gotten a towel while he was in the bathroom.
When the tremors finally faded, Nick hugged Philip fiercely, the two of them staying like that as he caught his breath. Philip welcomed the hug, feeling safe and loved, and allowed himself to float with the afterglow. The wet spot on the blanket could wait. "I love you, Philip, you know that," Nick whispered against his neck as they finally moved to settle into a looser embrace, "No matter what happens, I love you."
"An' I love you, too, Nick," Philip murmured, feeling too lazy to do more than snuggle against his friend and lover. For a long time they lay like that, Nick actually falling into a light doze as Philip's hands gently rubbed his back. After a while, something in the feel of Philip's touch filtered through, and he woke up. Looking up at Philip, Nick realized that the quiet time had allowed him to once again think about the recent events -- and about what they had just done. The comfortable haziness cleared rapidly from his mind, and a chill began to set in.
"Philip?" he asked softly, trying to meet his friend's gaze. The stormy eyes darted away before he could read their expression.
"Nick," Philip answered, "I'm sorry...I think I've got t' go away for a while -- need t'think this over an' figure out what t'do with my life." He smiled slightly and added, "What I'm doin' right now isn' workin'..."
Nick's heart plummeted, and he had to swallow hard before he could speak. "You're going back to the Church again," he said, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice and knowing he had failed. "Damn it, Philip, we need you -- *I* need you. You're going to go back there and just hide away and bury yourself in priestly duties until you've forgotten about how you feel..." He knew he sounded angry, but he couldn't stop it at this point.
Philip shook his head, realizing Nick had misunderstood him. "No, Nick, I'm not gonna do tha' -- I promise! What I said earlier -- 'bout me bein' too weak t'be a priest -- I wasn' lyin'. I don' think I can keep bein' a priest with th' way I feel...I just need a little bit of time t'be sure, but in all conscience, I can't stay in th' priesthood feelin' the way I do..."
Nick heard the quiver in his voice, realized that Philip was scared at the thought of leaving the way of life he had spent nearly two decades in. _Can't blame him one bit!_ he thought, sympathetically, although in the back of his mind, he knew he was cheering the news. "You really mean it?" he asked, suddenly unsure if he was being selfish, or if Philip really was making the decision for himself.
"Yeah, I think I am," Philip answered, feeling a sudden flood of relief he hadn't expected to. "Will you stay with us at least until Derek's okay?" Nick asked suddenly, realizing that if things did go wrong and Philip decided to hide away in the Church again, Derek wouldn't have a chance to talk to him about it.
"Yeah, I'll do tha' -- wouldn' be fair t'him to run out on him now..."
"Good..." Nick whispered, hugging Philip close and once again rubbing his back. They settled back down to get some real rest, although he could feel the lingering tenseness in Philip's body. After a long while, though, they finally both drifted off.
To be continued in part 17
Poltergeist: The Legacy is (c) 1998 MGM/UA and Trilogy Entertainment. This story is not intended to infringe on these copyrights.
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