Miscellaneous Doodads
Finally, we come to the miscellanea: Sites that don't quite fit into any category, yet aren't simple enough to qualify as Moments of Zen. That said, it's damn near impossible to write a witty intro to a random collection of sites, so here they are:
Hell.com
God... How to describe this one? Imagine tripping on acid while those annoying Goths from school ramble on and on without stopping. Although, truth be told, the "members only" area is far less impressive than the intro.
How to Predict the Weather Using a Pig Spleen
A section of the Farmer's Almanac website (!) details one farmer's technique of--you guessed it--predicting the weather using a pig's spleen. I wonder if Al Roker knows about this...
WWWF Grudge Match: Rock vs. Paper vs. Scissors
Finally, the answer to one of life's eternal paradoxes!
Beard Research
Fairly simple site, wherein a guy shaved half his beard and went skiing, in order to answer the question "Are beards actually warmer?" To wit, yes.
SPIZZY Chiropractic Co.
Site marketing products featuring Spizzy, "the cute little spine," as a mascot for chiropractic offices. Kind of a nice idea, if you can get past how inherently disturbing a walking, talking spinal column is.
Starch
Let me tell you a story about this site. A few months back, I was desperate to find information about starch for a school paper. If you think it's easy to find a site simply describing the properties of starch on the internet, trust me: it AIN'T. Then I found this site. "Starches are everywhere. And a potato is a very good source of starch." Thank god, finally, a straight answer! Then I read on... Let's just say I had to site a paper I wrote two years ago as my source.
The Fox Force Five Homepage
Some obsessed Tarantino fan has built an entire website around Fox Force Five, the pilot that Uma Thurman's character from Pulp Fiction supposedly starred in, maintaining the illusion that it was a real show. It's really quite well done, and very clever, but the question remains: why?!
The Vanilla Ice Fan Club
Bringing you all the latest news, tour dates, and biographical information about that master entertainer, Vanilla Ice. No, really. I'm not kidding. Why are you laughing?
Nobody For President
Every election year, there's a deluge of joke candidates on the internet. While most are pretty funny, this one has one thing that puts it head-and-shoulders above the rest, and makes it worthy for inclusion on this site: Their candidate actually WON. The slogans are a hoot, too, with quotes like "Nobody feels your pain!" and "Nobody can be trusted!"
THE WILLIAM SHATNER EXPERIENCE!
Yeah, I know, making fun of William Shatner's about as difficult as dressing yourself. I will say this, though: This website WILL burn itself into your psyche and eat your soul from the inside out. Be sure to have your speakers turned on, too. The background music turns what could have been a harmlessly campy fansite into the most horrific thing you will ever see in your life, ever.
OPS TEST ITEM, DO NOT BID, DO NOT CANCEL
I don't know the story behind this. All I know is, come 2030, loscocco (35) will have some fundraising to do.
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