The dawn of the internet has heralded two things: Pornography (which we can't show here) and paranoia (which is frequently spawned from the former). Yes, thanks to the wonders of technology, the rants and raves previously confined to streetcorners, Rush Limbaugh, and Leonard Nimoy's In Search Of... are now only a mouseclick away. Below are some of the cream of the crop.
Detailed instructions on how to make (don't laugh) a thought screen helmet, guaranteed to prevent aliens from abducting you. I invite you to insert your own "See how well it works?" joke here:
Bizarre scans from a book that the site's owner got at a used book store, then supposedly was the only thing stolen when his house was broken into. What makes this really worthy of this site is the comments page. Paranoid internet geeks at their finest! (The story, BTW, is a fake; Closer exploration of the site reveals the author to be a "photoshop artist," and this is one of his "works." Of course, that would explain why Lee Harvey Oswald--a card-carrying communist--is sitting in a roomful of Nazis. With 18th-century doctor Franz Mesmer, no less).
Site run by Ronald "Alien Chaser" Regehr and Derrel "Alien Hunter" Sims (Derrel is described as "a real nuts and bolts man"-- Let's run with that first part a little...). These guys are CONVINCED that aliens are not only real, but that the US government is just too lazy to get in contact with them. Be sure to check out the Progress Toward ET Interaction letter, which demands the government to admit the truth that humans are the result of a genetic cross-breeding experiment. Classic.
The title kinda says it all. Among other clues, it asks you to ask yourself if you "Have a cosmic awareness, an interest in ecology, environment, vegetarianism, or are very socially conscious," "Have a secret feeling that you are 'special' or 'chosen,' somehow," or "Have an interest in the subject of UFO sightings or aliens, perhaps compelled to read about it a lot." They're not conforming the questions to fit the readers at all, are they? Also notable for using the amazingly subtle technique of putting key phrases in boldface.
Oh my... Are you sitting down for this? This site is built on the belief that John Lennon was actually shot by Stephen King (yes, THAT Stephen King) under orders from Richard Nixon. No, really. Apart from King's striking resemblance to Mark Chapman, his key piece of evidence is that King "unwittingly" signed a letter, "The man who really did kill John - Best, Stephen King." (One helluva Freudian slip, eh?) The author becomes less and less lucid as the text goes on, concluding with, "We live a lie. Our orgasms are unholy under these perverted sheets. Lennon's killer is molestIng your kids everybody! Even the animals seem bored with humans lately. I think it's time we picked ourselves up off our face and break 'Who shot John Lennon'." The stuff kookhunters dream of.
This guy's quite the entrepeneur-- Not only is he the inventor of the Eternal Life Rings and Ankle Braces (as seen on the Daily Show!), he also apparently holds the secrets to teleportation, world peace (!), and the exact physical nature of God himself (!!). This guy's either very smart or very insane, or both; Either way, he's a Renaissance Man among kooks.
A site devoted to Backmasking, the concept that rock bands are inserting backwards Satanic messages in their songs. Yes, it's one of those sites. Some of the "messages" are stretches, to say the least; Could someone explain to me what "Yeah, when he knows he should, how nice it was delicious, he puts it in a vet he fixes it for his son which he gives away" means, exactly? (He got that one from "Hotel California," by the way-- I never did trust that Don Henley!) Best line on the site: "Michael Jackson is probably the most successful musician in history, but does he hold a dark secret?" What, Michael Jackson?! Nah...
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