A man died and appeared before the Pearly Gates. "Welcome," said Saint Peter warmly, "and which Heaven would you like to be in?"

"What do you mean, 'which Heaven,'" asked the man.

"Oh, we assign people to the Heaven of their choice, depending on their religion," answered the Saint. "So what's yours?"

"I'm an Atheist," stammered the man.

"Still?" asked St. Peter.

"Well..."

"Never mind," said the Saint. "I'll give you the tour. I do this for lots of folks."

With that St. Peter led the man past all the various Heavens -- the Muslim Heaven of beautiful mats of green grass and bright flowers on which blessed souls reclined while nubile houris ministered to their every need, the Catholic Heaven where blessed souls drank sherry and played bingo, the Jewish Heaven where blessed souls argued passionately about politics and ate latkes -- Heaven after Heaven. Finally, they came to a pair of heavy steel doors. "SHHH!" hissed St. Peter, and they passed in complete silence.

"What was that about?" asked the man, when they were out of earshot.

"Oh, those are the Fundamentalists," answered the Saint. "It would ruin it for them if they knew anyone else was here."