3 Biggest Lies Compendium

3 Biggest Software Lies:

- The program's fully tested and bugfree.

- We're working on the documentation.

- Of course we can modify it.

3 Biggest Computer Room Lies:

- As long as you remember to 'SAVE' your input, you'll never lose any files.

- We run the stuff through as fast as it comes in the door.

- The new machine's on order.

3 Biggest Large Company Lies:

- We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.

- People are our greatest resource.

- We say 'let the marketplace decide'.

3 Biggest Small Company Lies:

- We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.

- The boss is just one of the guys.

- Staying small is a conscious decision.

3 Biggest Marketing Lies:

- Immediate delivery?...No problem.

- We treat every customer as if they were our most important.

- We're going out to lunch to talk business.

3 Biggest Engineering Professor's Lies:

- Some day this course will come in handy.

- These tests are more trouble for me than they are for you.

- This is the way they do it in industry.

3 Biggest Executive Lies:

- Money...it's just a score card.

- If it were up to me, there'd be no assigned parking spaces.

- You have to twist my arm to get me to go on a business trip.

3 Biggest undergraduate student starting Physics Lies:

- There are plenty of jobs out there for Physics graduates.

- You'll make lots of money in your professional career.

- The general public respect Physicists.

3 Biggest student teacher lies:

- The school will help and support you all they can.

- This teaching course is interesting and stimulating.

- Kids today are just the same as when you went to school.

3 Biggest advertising lies:

- This product will taste as good as it looks.

- You really need our product.

- If you use our product you will have sex with the same kinds of people as you see in our ad.

3 Biggest mail order lies:

- Delivery of your product will occur within 30 days of ordering it.

- If you're not satisfied with our product we will guarentee a full refund.

- We offer repair of your product free of charge with an accredited repairer in your home State.

3 Biggest retail industry lies:

- Our staff are courteous and considerate.

- We try to help you with your problem.

- You can exchange or get full refund on an item that you're not satisfied with.

3 Biggest politician lies:

- I'll be factual and to the point.

- I'll give you a straightforward answer to your question.

- The government doesn't waste taxpayers' money.

3 Biggest parent lies:

- We're doing this for your own interest.

- You can have that (do that) later (when you're older).

- The family can't afford it now.

3 Biggest supermodel lies:

- Women normally look like that.

- Women should look like that.

- Fasting and dieting is good for your health.

3 Biggest beer ads lies:

- Drinking beer is for macho men only.

- You'll meet good lifelong friends drinking beer in a bar.

- Women think drunken loudmouths are sexy.

3 Biggest life lies:

- ... and they lived happily ever after.

- Dying is painless.

- Things have gotten so bad that they couldn't possibly get worse.