: Jim Mueller wrote:

: > I've written all the major SF periodicals (Analog, Aboriginal,

: > Asimov's, Amazing, etc.) requesting writer's guidelines. They were

: > all kind enough to send them. However, they also sent a nice little

: > form letter stating something like "At the moment our inventory of

: > short stories and art is full. Please feel free to try again in

: > about ten months." Working in this field is going to be much more

: > difficult than I had ever imagined.

Well the solution to this is simple. Just convert your SF stories to Romance stories. Do global search-and-replaces as follows:

Spaceship --> loins

Computer --> desire

Rigel XVII --> Provence

Psi Helm --> waves of flaxen hair

Fleet Admiral J'h'aazaa --> Slate Manning

explosions --> orgasms

Hope this helps.

--Tshen

Qodaxti Institute, 87th stratum