Top 10 Things That Would Be Different If The 12 Apostles Had Been Gay

10. The last supper would have been a brunch.

9. The beatitudes would start, "Fabulous are they..."

8. The Triumphal Entry screams for a drag number.

7. The water at the wedding feast of Cana would not have been changed to wine, but to extra dry Bombay Sapphire martinis with a touch of Curacau for color.

6. The temple would not have been cleared of money changers, just re-decorated.

5. Mary's hair would have been flawless.

4. The Gospels would be Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Bruce.

3. Priests would have affairs with altar boys...wait, never mind.

2. Jesus would never wear white after Labor Day.

1. The Sermon on the Mount would have been a musical.