The Angell's Feminazi Page

You know, we here at the Feminazi Page are always getting requests from little boys asking if we can make "an exception" or give "a disclaimer" exempting them from our page. Well, the answer is obvious...if you are offended by this page then YOU ARE THE ONE'S WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!! So, little boys, make no more requests because when you are not a scum-sucking sexist male, you don't get so concerned about wether or not this page is talking about you.

Thank you. - The Writers

P.S. There are a few good men out there and we realize this and want to acknowledge you. We wish you peace and happiness. Please continue to influence others and teach them the way things should be. We wish the best to you and your boyfriends.

 

Top 10 Reasons Why We Originally Wrote This Page

10. "Lust" from the movie Seven.

9. No, we don’t have PMS, we’re like this all the time!

8. Lorena should never have served any time.

7. Jake’s dumb blonde jokes.

6. "Top 10 Reasons Why Dead Chicks Are Better"

5. "Top 10 Reasons Why A Beer Is Better Than A Woman"

4. Basic Instinct (also see Showgirls and Starship Troopers)

3. And they say we have no sense of humor.

2. Hothead Paisan is our hero!

1. MEN SUCK!!!

 

Top 10 Names For All-Male Bands

10. Rogaine

9. 7 Year Old Underwear Stain

8. The Weenies

7. 2 & 3/4 Inches Of Pleasure

6. The Body-Odor Bandits

5. Tommy No-Nuts & The Male-Pattern Baldness Band

4. Pinky Dick

3. The Clit-Lickers

2. Minutemen

1. SHB (Sweaty Hairy Balls)

Feminazi Quotes

1. A woman's place is in the house - and in the senate.

2. Men are like toilets - Either their occupied or full of shit.

3. MENopause, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown....Ever notice how all our problems begin with men?

4. Sure, God made men before women, but everyone has to make a rough draft before a final copy.

5. Of course I don't look as busy as a man - I did it right the first time!

6. Men have the power to destroy the earth, but women have the wisdom to save it!

7. If women have 2 chromosomes and men only have one, then that means women are 100% women and men are 50% women.

8. I wish my mom would have told me the same thing about guys as she said to me about horror movies when I was 5 - Don't worry, honey, it's all fake.

9. If you want sugar and spice, go buy a donut!

10. If you want something sweet with a kick, buy a Mai Thai and get off my ass!!!!

11. I may be bi, but I don’t want you.

12. Housework doesn’t suck. If it did, men would like it.

Top 10 Reasons To Become A Lesbian

10. If you have a yen for men, she can strap it on.

9. You won't get killed at Legend's on a Thursday night.

8. Most lesbians like to be tied up.

7. You'll never have to fear Hothead Piasan.

6. Your lover will be caring and understanding when you have PMS!

5. You are guaranteed a job at UPS.

4. It'll shatter almost any X-Boyfriend's ego!

3. Lesbians like sex more than they like beer!

2. Lesbians always go down.

1. Lesbians don't roll over and fall asleep after sex!

Top 5 Reasons Why Masturbation Is More Entertaining

5. Lingerie is just a waste of time.

4. If your hand fools around with another woman, consider yorself lucky.

3. Your needs cum first.

2. You already know your zodiac sign and can buy your own beer.

1. You can fantasize about whoever you want...wait...we do that anyway!

 

Here are some rebuttal jokes from blondes

What do you call a Blonde without an asshole? Single.

What is the next exhibit at Ripley's Believe It Or Not? A man born with a penis and a brain.

Why are most blonde jokes only two lines long? So men can understand them.

What is a man's idea of safe sex? A padded head board.

Why did God create man? Because neither a dildo nor a vibrator can mow the lawn.

How can you tell if a man is dead? He stays stiff for more than two minutes.

Why do men have holes in their penises? So they can get air to their brains.

Why do women get more hemorrhoids than men?

Because when God created man, he created the he perfect asshole!

Why are men like laxatives? They irritate the shit out of you.

Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with the only one they really love.

Why do guys like blondes with big tits and tight pussies? Because they have big mouths and little dicks!

Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because men are pigs!

What do blondes do with their assholes in the morning? Pack their lunch and send them to work.

Top 10 Uses For A Man

10. To fulfill our needs (HA!)

9. To scrub our bathroom.

8. To run our mother’s errands.

7. To cook our dinner.

6. To be our carpet!

5. Medical Experiments (why harm innocent animals).

4. Free mechanic.

3. You have a sprained wrist.

2. Two words: Yard Work!

1. THERE IS NONE!!!!

Top 10 Reasons Why A Koosh Is Better Than A Man

10. Your Koosh won’t whine if you decide not to call.

9. You only have to pay attention to a Koosh when you want to.

8. A Koosh has less hair.

7. Kooshes don’t drink beer!

6. A Koosh can last for more than 30 minutes.

5. A Koosh won’t ask for a commitment.

4. Kooshes don’t leave the toilet seat up.

3. You’ll never find Penthouse under a Koosh’s bed.

2. A Koosh is always ready.

1. Toy stores don’t give refunds on men!!!

 

Top 10 Ways Egotistical Men Insult Our Intelligence

10. By trying to guess our sign.

9. By complimenting us on specific body parts.

8. By using lame pick-up lines on us.

7. By trying to "convert" us.

6. By acting like we can’t order our own food or drinks.

5. By acting like we can’t do anything without assistance.

4. By referring to us as various animals, "chicks, foxes, etc."

3. They’re just tools! It’s not like you’ve got to be a rocket scientist to use them!

2. By thinking that 555-0000 is really our phone number.

1. By thinking we’ll forget about forplay (and no, begging does NOT count).

 

Date Preparation "Don'ts" For Men

10. Clothes do not get clean from lying on the floor.

9. If your socks/underwear have more holes than material, it's time to trash them.

8. Cologne on top of a day at the gym does not equal a shower.

7. No matter how clean you are, dirty clothes will still make you stink.

6. A 6 pack of beer and cleaning the back seat of your car is not preparation for a date.

5. Having white teeth does not include that layer of plaque! (Mouthwash doesn't replace brushing.)

4. Shampoo, condition, rinse, brush - Do not throw a hat over that greasy nappy mess.

3. Shave that stubble if you expect a goodnight kiss.

2. Monday night football and a TV dinner is not dinner and a movie.

1. Liberated does not mean that we're going to pay for everything!


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