What is the thinnest book in the world? What do men and beer bottles have in common?

What men know about women. They're both empty from the neck up.

Why are men and parking spots alike?

The good ones are always gone and all that's left is handicapped.

How do you save a man from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? Why do men always have stupid looks on their faces?

He's breathing. Because they're stupid.

Why don't men have to use toilet paper? Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

Because God made them perfect assholes. Because they haven't got balls.

What's a man's idea of foreplay? How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A half hour of begging. One...Men will screw anything.

What have toilet seats, anniversaries, and the clitoris got in common?

Men miss them all the time.