Because he's never used it.

2. Why are men so happy?

Because ignorance is bliss.

3. Why is a psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man than for a woman?

Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

4. If a man and a woman fell off a 10-story building at the same time, who would reach the ground first?

The woman-the man would get lost.

5. How are men like commercials?

You can't believe a word they say and they all last about 60 seconds.

6. How do men exercise at the beach?

By sucking in their stomachs everytime they see a woman in a bikini.

7. What do you call a man with half a brain?

Gifted.

8. What's the difference between government bonds and men?

Bonds mature.

9. What did God say after creating man?

I can do better.

10. What are 2 reasons why men don't mind their own buisness?

1. No mind 2. No buisness

11. What do you call an intelligent man in America?

A tourist.

12. If men got pregnant.....

13. Did you hear about the man who won the Gold medal at the Olympics?

He had it Bronzed.

14. What is gross stupidity?

144 men in one room.

15. How many men does it take to pop popcorn?

Three. One to hold the pan and 2 others to show off and shake the stove.

16. How do men sort their laundry?

"Filthy" and "Filthy but wearable".

17. Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4,000 stereo in it.

18. What does a man consider to be quality time with his wife?

Pulling the sheets over her head and saying "Great chili, Babe!"

19. A woman of 35 thinks of having children. A man of 35 thinks of dating children.

20. What should you give a man who has everything?

A woman to show him how to work it.

21. Why do Black-Widow spiders kill their males after mating?

To stop the snoring before it starts.

22. Why don't men have a mid-life crisis?

They're stuck in adolescence.

23. Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

Even then, men wouldn't stop to ask directions.

24. Why do jocks play on artificial turf?

To keep them from grazing.

25. How does a man show that he's planning for the future?

He buys 2 cases of beer instead of 1.

26. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?

At the Circus, the clowns don't talk.

27. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?

Exchange him.

28. What is the difference between a man and a catfish?

One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker, the other is a fish.

29. What makes men chase women they're not going to marry?

The same thing that makes dogs chase cars they have to intention of driving.

30. Why do bachelors like smart women?

Opposites attract.

31. Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

32. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year the dog is still excited to see you.

33. What is the thinnest book in the world?

What Men Know About Women.

34. How do you get a man to exercise?

Tie the remote control to his shoe laces.

35. What's the difference between a typical man and E.T.?

E.T. phoned home.

36. Why are all blonde jokes one-liners?

So men can remember them.

37. What do you call a man with an IQ of 50?

Typical.

38. What's a man's idea of four play?

A half hour of begging.

39. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

We don't know. It's never happened.

40. What's the difference between a UFO and an intelligent man?

Dunno. I've never seen either one.

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