Top 15 Shocks In The New Re-Mastered Star Wars Trilogy

15. New scene in which Chewbacca teaches Han Solo to lick himself.

14. He might not look as fearsome as before, but that Primatine Mist of Darth Vader's seems to have helped his

breathing immensely.

13. Added scene in which Tonya Harding whacks Princess Leia on the knee with a lightsaber.

12. Luke accused of killing his ex-wife and advised by Obi-Wan to "Use The Fifth, Luke".

11. The commercial tie-in appearance of Jabba's big brother, Pizza the Hut.

10. Newly colorized Darth Vader is mauve.

9. C-3PO has conspicuous "Intel Inside" sticker on his shiny brass ass.

8. Han, Luke, Obi-Wan, and C-3PO now sporting bitchin' goatees.

7. New scene where Luke shakes JFK'S hand and tells him he has to pee.

6. Jabba The Butt-Head saying "Heehee...huh huh...she said, Lay ya...huh huh."

5. Revealing scene in the bathroom shows how Han Solo got his name.

4. During one lonely night, Princess Leia finds R2-D2's special attachment.

3. Anti-Fur activists from planet PETA spray Chewbacca with red paint.

2. The X-Wing pilot who blows up the Death Star? Richard Jewell.

1. Dismembered victim of Obi-Wan Kenobi's lightsaber in the Cantina is none other than John Wayne Bobbitt.