Now, the pure and noble state of extreme Puffiness is different to everyone, so the giver of the award (uh... me) reserves the right to make all final judgements as to what constitutes a Puffy act.
Remember, in this wacky, mundane world a good deed can often go unnoticed, but a Puffy deed is something people will remember until the end of time as we know it.
Or not.
It's high time (well, almost certainly at least medium height time) we dusted off that chubby old thang on the mantlepiece and passed it along to someone most deserving a pat on the back for Puffiness above and beyond the call of duty.
And so, this year's (like I am gonna have time to do it again before 2003) Puffy Blue Line goes to.........
Joe Don Baker Discussion Board "new regular" and all around sweet gal..........
SHELLY!
Even though Shelly did the unthinkable, and brought into creation the unholiest of beasts, in the form of a BEN MURPHY WEB SITE, she has to be commended for her bravery.
You may gaze upon her unholy monster at.......
Start Seeing Ben Murphys
Thank you Shelly. The world is a puffier place with you in it.
I forgot Joe Don Baker's birthday this year.
To put it blunty.... I totally suck.
But leave it to Wonton, a puffy individual through and through, to point it out to me, and brighten my day that was otherwise colder than a Canadian Well Digger's semi-exposed butt-crack.
You guys know Wonton. Oh sure you do. She's Mrs. Damage.
Anyway, a big old buttery PBL award goes out to you once again Wonton. Wave it like a flag, wear it like a crown. Good God you've earned it.
Victor recently joined the non-stop, fast-paced, side-splittingly funny world of Top 5 list creation when, on his maiden voyage aboard the good ship "Joe Don Baker Discussion Board Top 5 List Deal Thingy", he lost his Top 5 virginity in an EXTREMELY puffy fashion, proving to all onlookers and nay-sayers that he is REAL, he is NOW.
I dunno, the guy just cracked me up big time.
Well, maybe not UNNOTICED, but sometimes credit is not fully given where credit is due.
Today marks a new chapter in the PBLA, as I am bringing it out of retirement. There is substantial Puffiness afoot, and it must be brought to the attention of the unwashed masses, or at least the unwashed few who hold these values high.
Today's PBL goes to...... MRS. DAMAGE!
Oh good Mrs. Damage. You take it all with such style and grace. You have endured never ending viewings of MITCHELL, both MST'd and unplugged. You smiled all the way through CHECKERED FLAG OR CRASH, and you positively glowed as FINAL JUSTICE droned on for hour upon hour. Each and every day you must walk past MITCHELL posters, but yet you never look upon them with disdain or contempt.
Oh good and noble Mrs. Damage. It was you who suffered the snickering remarks of strangers as you combed the farthest reaches of Canada in search of a cake made in the likeness of Joe Don Baker, and made Puffy-fest 99 a truly epic one to end the millenium.
The world salutes you, oh true supporter of Puffiness. May your sour cream tub always be full, and may your dune buggy always remain in an upright position and be free of firey explosions.
Our hats are off to you. It's a darn good thing we all shampooed today.
WHY, you ask?
Well, once again they have emerged the number one team in the Eastern Conference of the NHL, only to be eliminated in the first round of the NHL playoffs by the eighth seeded team. They skated with the finesse of a drunken Mitchell in size 14 skates. Goalie Martin Brodeur had the speed and agility in goal of Joe Don Baker after an all you can eat potato cake festival. They are the John Saxons of the NHL, dissapearing without a trace once again.
OK, maybe I'm hard on them, but I just expect more I guess. :^(
Congrats Mace! Go Girl!!!
Most MST3K fans by now have learned that the upcoming season TEN is to be the final season of MST3K. I would like to extend a mighty big THANK YOU and a PBL to the SCI/FI channel for giving the show a chance to go ten seasons, after the pinheaded dickweeds at Comedy Central cut them off at seven (Well, more like six and a half really).
So thanks SCI/FI channel. Good job. Now get your heads out of your asses and bring back "THE PRISONER".
"Man, that Linda Evans is a handsome woman, eh?"
and then, sensing an awkward moment changed the subject and said....
"For January's award, I would like to nominate the writers and performers of Mystery Science Theater 3000, for announcing the use of FINAL JUSTICE in their upcoming season. Seldom has such a devotion to puffiness caused a half dozen people to sit up and take notice."
And so, this months coveted award goes to the writers and performers of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000, for teaching us to laugh about love. Again.
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