Welcome to The Haunted Mansion
The Haunted Mansion is one of my personal favorites. So this page will be a little long! So, less talk and more play! In this page I'll try and have sounds, pictures, and many other fun things, but please be patient, cuz I'm a real slow-poke! Now, whenever I'm in the, 'DisneyMood' I try and recite Disneyland rides, songs.. you know.. that kind of stuff! And I've always had trouble remembering the words to The Haunted Mansion. Guess what?? I'm saving you the trouble! Here goes! Have fun!
GHOST HOST:
When hinges creak in doorless chambers and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls, whenever candlelights flicker where the air is deathly still, that is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight. Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your Ghost Host. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There's no turning back now.
Our tour begins here in this gallery, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching?Or is it your imagination? And consider this dismaying observation: this chamber has no windows, and no doors. Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! Of course, there's always my way.
Oh, I didn't mean to frighten you prematurely. The real chills come later. Now, as they say, "look alive," and we'll continue our little tour. And let's all stay together, please. There are several prominent ghosts who have retired here from creepy old crypts all over the world. Actually, we have 999 happy haunts here, but there's room for a thousand. Any volunteers? If you insist on lagging behind, you may not need to volunteer.
(The following two paragraphs alternate, depending on which expanding room you can down in. If you linger and wait for the next expanding room, you can hear both spiels.)
(Version #1) The carriage that will carry you into the moldering sanctum of the spirit world will accommodate you and one or two loved ones. Kindly watch your step as you board, please. We spirits haunt our best in gloomy darkness, so remember, no flash pictures, please.
(Version #2) And now a carriage approachesto take you into the boundless realm of the supernatural. Take your loved ones by the hand, please, and kindly watch your step. Oh yes, and no flash pictures, please. We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights.
Do not pull down on the safety bar, please; I will lower it for you. And heed this warning: the spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times.
We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps and hot and cold running chills. Sh, listen.
(During the last rehab in Sept 1995, these two paragraphs where added back in)
* All our ghosts have been dying to meet you. This one can hardly contain himself. Unfortunately, they all seem to have trouble getting through.
* Perhaps Madam Leota can establish contact. She has a remarkable head for materializing the disembodied.
MADAM LEOTA: Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat, call in the spirits wherever they're at. Rap on a table, it's time to respond, send us a message from somewhere beyond. Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween, awaken the spirits with your tambourine. Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pond let there be music from regions beyond. Wizards and witches wherever you dwell, give us a hint by ringing a bell.
GHOST HOST: The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize. They're assembling for a swinging wake. And they'll be expecting me. I'll see you all a little later.
GRIM GRINNING GHOSTS:
When the crypt doors creak and the tombstones quake,
Spooks come out for a swinging wake,
Happy haunts materialize,
And begin to vocalize,
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize,
Now don't close your eyes and don't try to hide,
Or a silly spook may sit by your side,
Shrouded in a daft disguise,
They pretend to terrorize,
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize,
As the moon climbs high over the dead oak tree,
Spooks arrive for the midnight spree,
Creepy creeps with eerie eyes,
Start to shriek and harmonize,
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize,
When you hear the knell of a requiem bell,
Weird glows gleam where spirits dwell,
Restless bones etherealize,
Rises spooks of every size,
GHOST HOST:
Ah, there you are. And just in time. There's a little matter I forgot to mention: beware of hitchhiking ghosts. They have selected you to fill our quota, and they'll haunt you until you return. Now I will raise the safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home!
GRIM GRINNING GHOSTS:
If you would like to join our jamboree,
There's a simple rule that's compulsory,
Mortals pay a token fee,
Rest in peace; the haunting's free,
So hurry back we would like your company,
LITTLE LEOTA:
Hurry back, hurry back. Be sure to bring your death certificate if
you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now. We've been dying to have you!
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And look at this too.....
Whoa! Hold it! This page isn't over yet! Coming up soon I'm gonna be sure to bring some pictures and sounds and Haunted Mansion FAQ's!! So be sure to hurry back!
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