My South Beach/Miami Beach Trip
December 1 - 4

pictures: Click Here!

      I am tempted to post the Excel spreadsheet that Terri and I used to plan this trip, some people might be scared. Both of us cannot imagine going on a trip without one! The biggest research project we had was figuring out where to stay. There are so many hotels in that area that this was quite a challenge. I don't think I could count how many frenzied emails we sent back and forth trying to decide! We finally, finally made a decision and went with The Kent Hotel. I think considering the amount we were willing to pay, it was a good decision. Side note, Book It is a great website for finding cheap hotel prices. So the hotel, it was purple. And I mean purple. The bed sheets, purple. The walls, purple. The ceiling, purple. The robes, purple. Get the point? It was kinda fun though, I love anything that has a theme. Oh, but the hardwood floors? That probably is not a good thing unless you can really insulate between floors in a hotel.
      After checking into the hotel and paying $15 for valet parking, we decided to reclaim our rental car (our Impala Holla, it was pretty ghetto, there was even duct tape spotted on the bottom of it) and head to Coral Gables to try and make afternoon tea at the Biltmore Hotel. Our flight was delayed on the way out so that really screwed up some plans. Well we hustled but did not make it in time, but once we had arrived at the hotel we figured that was ok, they may not have served us anyway in our jeans and sandals! This place was swanky! I had no idea it was going to be that fancy! It is this mammoth, golden structure in the middle of town and it is just beautiful. Built in 1926, it is on the historic record for hotels. After we shuffled around there a bit we realized it was 5:30pm and we had not eaten since that morning so we rushed off to find some dinner. We found a little Vietnamese place in town and over some stir-fry, discussed whether or not we should return to the Biltmore for the ghost story and Christmas hour that they had. Right now there was one strike against the Biltmore. See, it was the hotel that made us miss the tea and made us feel dumb for being underdressed and mid-Western, so that equals strike one. Well, we decided to go back. That was not the right decision. For the next hour we were subjected to two old women, dressed in handmade outfits fitting the descriptions of Mrs. Claus and the Gingerbread Lady, telling the sappy story of Charlie's magical Christmas and doing bad magic tricks. The ghost story we were so hoping for consisted of this: "This guy died on the 13th floor after he was murdered and he is still around." Which was told very quickly before a horde of children came running up for the story telling hour. Biltmore, that was strike two.
      Back at our hotel, we were left with the question of, what next? Terri and I are not big clubbers and the club/bar scene kind of scared me here. So I popped in a movie, and it turned out to be the best movie ever! I have an affinity for Vampire movies, especially low budget, filmed between 1950 and 1980. The Taste of Blood is a cult classic and I can see why, any time someone has a ring that hypnotizes you well that equals cult classic for sure! We got some good laughs out of this movie.
      The next morning we woke up all set to see some gators! We were going to go on an airboat ride in the Everglades. I had done that the last time I was in Florida and really enjoyed it. We went to the Everglades Safari Park and it was really nice! We had lunch at the cafe on site (I passed on the gator nuggets) and then we were off on the airboat. The scenery is just very pretty, lily pads everywhere, mixed in with the signature tall grass, it was very nice. At one point our driver, Jamie, diverted our attention and when we all turned around he was holding a snake above someone's head. I can't believe how jumpy people are around snakes! In fact, if this was the airboat ride I would have gone on with Gump he probably would have jumped right off the boat and taken his chances with the gators! I got to hold it after it was passed around to the few people wanting to. We finished up the airboat ride with only seeing a baby gator in the water and some amazing hurricane damage. Part two of this park is an alligator show and a jungle walk. At the show, the gator handler filled us in on some really interesting facts about the alligator and then at the end of the show she singled me out! I was going to be her "volunteer" for this last part. I think the handler thought I was going to be a squirmy, scared little girly girly when she went and placed a 10 pound baby gator in my hands. But I wrong candidate for that job, I was like bring it on, I was just holding a snake 10 minutes ago! Little Snappy was so cute with his little gator smile! We walked around the rest of the park and saw more alligators, crocodiles and caiman.
      We returned to South Beach for some dinner, shopping and sight seeing. Even though we were staying in the heart of SoBe we really hadn't explored it yet. Dinner time is crazy time on Ocean Drive. So many restaurants, all offering 50% off happy hour, and every hostess is trying to get you to stop. We walked up and down the strip trying to find this place we had read about, A Fish Called Avalon. After we managed to successfully walk right by it without seeing it, we gave up and ate at PrimeTime (part of the Waldorf Towers). Our waiter didn't realize we were in his section so we were forgotten about for quite sometime, but finally we were served. It was fine, nothing to write home about but it was great people watching! I guess that is when I finally started seeing how fake the beauty was down there....and I mean with the people. I hope to God that corsets never make it to MN as a fashion trend, cuz it is hot down there. After shopping at a cute little art deco Gap and a cute little art deco Banana Republic, hey we tried shopping at a local shop but 300 dollar sweaters are out of our price range, we returned to the hotel for another movie (such party animals!).
      We woke up pretty early the next day cuz we knew we had a drive ahead of us if we wanted to get to the Fruit and Spice Park before the tram tour left. The Fruit and Spice Park...what we had read about it, it had made it out to be a real life Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Fruits and spices from all around the world and you were allowed to try them all! Fruits that tasted like chocolate pudding or vanilla ice cream were rumored to be hanging from the trees. Here is a tip: don't go if a hurricane just ransacked the area 6 weeks prior. There was nothing left of the park! Overall we really had not seen that much damage so it never occurred to me that this is something we would have to worry about. So many trees had been uprooted and/or all their fruit stripped from their limbs, it was pretty sad. It really wasn't a total bust though, the tour was still interesting and we did get to sample a few things. I would highly recommend going to this park, but go in the summer when most of the fruit is ripe and make sure a hurricane hadn't visited recently.
      On the way back we decided to swing by Bayfront Park. I don't know why really, I think just to see some boats in the harbor or something. Turns out this place was fantastic! We had a late lunch right on the bay and stared at the ships and boats coming and going. We wandered around the shops...I bought a new sweater a cute little bayfront shop. Ok, fine it was Express, I am telling you the real local shops are expensive! We left with the idea that we would return after dinner to go on a city lights boat ride. So we left downtown Miami and headed back to South Beach. We freshened up in the room and then thought about heading out for dinner, but beforehand we wanted to make a reservation for the boat tour. Um, so we called and realized that all the late night boat tours were not happening! We had 1 hour to make the only night tour that was going to happen. So we rushed out the door and drove all the way back, but we made it! The lights were pretty from the view on the schooner that we were on, but it was freezing! So now we could finally go back and have dinner and we found the restaurant we were looking for the other night, A Fish Called Avalon. After dinner we went to Miami Ink...
      I think I should now tell the tale of Miami Ink. The first night in South Beach we did a drive by, turns out the place was only 4 blocks from our hotel! There were cameras, lights and commotion all over! Of course that meant that there was no way we were going to try to walk into the middle of that, but I was super happy to see that they were filming another season of the show. The next night we walked over to the shop and discovered that by day it is a normal tattoo parlor but on weeknights is the stage of the show we love. We also found out that you can just walk in and get a tattoo, but we were too flustered to do anything so we just ran out. However, our last night there we made another return trip. This time Terri was actually going to get the tattoo she designed! James was artist on duty that night, he isn't on the show but maybe someday I will see him working next to Ami!
      Our last day! In the morning we strolled over to this nice little alley market and had breakfast. You are not going to believe this but we decided to spend our last few hours in Florida by returning to the Biltmore. See, on Sundays they offer free tours. So we went. The tour was to run from 1:30 to 2:30, with another tour starting at 2:30. All that seemed perfect on paper; we had to leave the Biltmore no later than 2:30 if we wanted to make our return flight. I knew it was all going to go horribly wrong when the tour didn't start until 1:45.... Now, our tour guide....I can safely say that the tour did not start late because she was working on her makeup. I wish everyone could see it because it is like a walking PSA on how to NOT apply makeup. Fountain smeared here and there, not the right color tone. Blush was globbed on, traveling all the way to her ear and onto it. It facinating really. Anyway, she was all excited because she had procured keys to the 13th floor. The floor where the murder occurred, the floor where the illegal casino operated, the floor where the walls were able to rotate between library books on one side and gambling paraphernalia on the other. For nearly a half hour we listened to the lady ramble on about the history of the hotel. I was slightly more interested when I discovered it use to be a Veteran's Hospital, but really all I wanted to see was the 13th floor. Finally she declared it was time to move on! But it was just into the ballroom, from there it was the pool and then, when I really thought we were about to travel to the 13th floor, she steered us into the courtyard. Grr!! I couldn't believe it, it was 2:26 at this point, there was no way we could continue the tour. So while we exited the hotel, the remaining members of the guided tour boarded the elevator to ascend to the 13th floor. Biltmore, that was strike three.