Riding in Cars with Boys

Released 2001
Stars Drew Barrymore, Steve Zahn, Mika Boorem, Brittany Murphy, Lorraine Bracco, Sara Gilbert
Directed by Catherine Breillat
Reviewed June 4, 2002

This was such a personal movie for me, because it could have been about my own mother's life instead of Beverly Donofrio's (Drew Barrymore). Both girls got pregnant at 15 in the mid-1960's, and they both married the loser who was responsible. They also both struggled in near poverty until they got rid of the men who were holding them down. In both cases, the husbands meant well, but they had no business being married or being fathers. My real dad was a bum just like Ray (Steve Zahn). They both drank and used drugs and had no steady jobs. My dad had the added bonuses of being abusive and running around. Yet, from what I understand he was loving to me (when he was around), just like Ray was to Jason, but he was never a good person. I start off talking so much about the man I barely knew, because the character of Ray is central to the movie's story. It's Steve Zahn's breakout performance as he's able to realize the sharply written character who's equally unsympathetic and sympathetic. In the end, neither Ray nor my dad could fight their nature, and Zahn brings this lost cause to the screen.

There were many similarities between my mother and Beverly, but there were also major differences. The biggest being their attitudes toward their children. Beverly blamed her problems on her son's very existence. Just the fact that he was there robbed her of her teens and her chance to go to college, as if it was his fault. She accepted motherhood as her duty, but she never embraced it. She also made her son feel guilty throughout his entire life. She even wrote a book about how he, as well as Ray and her father, had screwed up her life. That's a heavy load for any child to bear, and I'm very lucky my mother didn't feel that way. She was a bright, pretty girl who developed a short-lived wild streak which led to her getting pregnant. It may have been in response to her strict father leaving her mother, but I'm not sure. All I know is she treasured me and my two brothers who came along later. She doted on us and, most importantly, she never made us feel guilty for her difficult life or for the sacrifices she made for us.

I respect Beverly Donofrio for telling her story so honestly. She's not afraid to blame others, but she's also not afraid to show herself negatively. The movie probably softens the story from her book, but it doesn't sugar-coat it. It doesn't change the story to a plucky heroine overcoming a bad man. We see her good qualities as well as her bad, and it makes for a compelling story--especially for myself. It was so strange for me to watch the story from Beverly's perspective, because I lived it from Jason's. Imagine watching the movie from Jason's birthday party on, and you'll have an idea of what it was like for me growing up. It was just impossible for me to watch it objectively, and it was very emotional for me.

The ending was a little lame, and I could feel a screenwriter struggling to wrap up the story. Even so, it made me think about how self-centered kids are, and how they have trouble looking at anything from a viewpoint than their own. I was certainly that way, but I had a few moments in my teens when I recognized how difficult it had been for my mother raising three little boys on her own. Mostly, though, I didn't realize it until it was way too late for me to thank her. I will always regret that I didn't get to have any kind of moment like Jason did at the end of this movie. Mine would have been very different, but I would have liked to have had a moment.

Reviewed by Bill Alward
June 4, 2002
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