"I never realised quite how hard this would be for him," Alani said. She was watching Hercules from a distance as he walked up to Dione's grave.
"Herc has lost too many people in his life," Iolaus said quietly from beside her.
Alani nodded. "Goddess willing, this will be the last for some time."
"I doubt if your goddess gets a vote," Iolaus commented. It came out sounding more bitter than he had intended. They would be leaving Calydon in a few hours, he hadn't wanted to antagonise Alani any further.
She sighed heavily and turned to him. "Alright, Iolaus. Let's settle this, shall we?" She walked back into the cave; Iolaus followed reluctantly.
Alani sat on a pile of furs and gestured for Iolaus to join her. "Witch," she said shortly. "Sorceress. Evil enchantress. Is that what you think I am?" She got no reply. "For a man who willingly surrenders to one of Her gifts, you have an amazing level of distrust."
Iolaus knew what she meant: Alani had referred to sexual pleasure as a gift of the goddess, even as a ritual honouring of Her. It was true that Iolaus didn't like to sleep alone if he got a better offer, but… "I don't really see it that way," he told her. It was a fairly weak response.
"It doesn't matter how you see it, Iolaus. It only matters what is. I am a priestess. If that gives me some power, I at least know how to use it. What's your problem with that?"
He shook his head. "It's not you. It's Hecate. One of her creatures almost killed me once."
"But you were there to kill that creature, were you not?"
"Of course I was! She was evil, Alani. She caused so much suffering in that village…"
Alani nodded. "Iolaus, life is about pain and suffering, just as much as it's about joy. You can't have one without the other. No light without darkness, no love without hate. The gods didn't create the world with a snap of their fingers or a word of power. She was born of Chaos and Night and it took aeons. No child is born except through labour. Yet any mother will tell you that the pain is worth it, and forgotten in the joy of new life."
"Nice philosophy," Iolaus said impatiently. "But it's got nothing to do with the subject."
"Yes, it does. But…" Alani bit her lip uneasily. "I can tell you, Iolaus, but you'd have to keep the secret. Hercules can't know."
"You know I won't promise to keep something from Herc."
"You don't have to promise. When you hear it, you'll understand. You see, he shared some of his memories with me, Iolaus, but I saw more than he intended." Alani had known without being told that when Hercules fathered her he bound a part of his destiny to Calydon. What she hadn't realised was that he didn't know it, didn't understand he had given Hecate an interest in his life. "Tell me, Iolaus," she asked the confused hunter, "when Hera killed his family, what would have happened if Hercules had continued his path of revenge?"
"I don't know."
"You do know."
Alani's intense gaze bore into Iolaus, reminding him of his worse fears of those few days, forcing him to speak the words: "It would have killed him, Alani. If Hera hadn't done it, he would have taken his own life in the end. Because revenge is ultimately empty, and Hercules more than most needs a purpose in his life. Without his family to give him that…"
Alani's soft voice interrupted him. "Can you imagine a world without him Iolaus? Or perhaps a world where Hera's revenge twisted him to evil?"
Iolaus swallowed. He didn't want to tell her that he had no need to imagine either: he had seen those worlds.
Alani answered his thoughts. "Then can you honestly tell me that the suffering of Ister, which was undone when the she-demon died, was not small price to pay for this man's rebirth?"
Iolaus felt as though she had knocked the breath out of him. He saw at once what she was suggesting. Even Zeus had refused to help Hercules during those awful days. But Zeus was bound by his own rules, and Hercules had said Hecate was not. "Alani, are you saying that…?" Suddenly Iolaus thought better of the half-voiced question. "No, don't answer that. If you do I'll have to tell Herc, and you're right. It wouldn't do him any good to hear it."
"She has her own ways, Iolaus. I cannot offer you reasons, or justifications. I do ask you to remember what happened, everything that happened, and to consider if any real harm was done."
"Be safe, Alani." Hercules clasped her hand in both of his as he said goodbye.
She smiled up at him, tears in her eyes. "Don't wait fifteen years before your next visit," she said. "When you're weary of what the world expects of you, you can always find peace here in Calydon. Remember it."
"I promise."
Alani stood at the top of the pathway and watched them leave. She would miss the company. It was her destiny for now to live here alone. Which thought reminded her of her last conversation with Hercules. He had been concerned that she felt she had no choice about her life; he wanted to convince her that her destiny was in her own hands. Alani had tried to explain that she knew that. She stayed in Calydon by choice, for now. What she hadn't said was that she had already decided she wouldn't stay there forever. Oh, it wouldn't be for many years. She was still too young, she had a great deal left to learn. When she knew all her goddess was willing to teach, she would find a way to leave Calydon, find another guardian, perhaps, and go out into the world. It was time Hecate's name was heard and spoken in the world without fear.
Unconsciously, Hercules was taking the same route out of Calydon that he had taken fifteen years before, when he left Dione behind. He only realised it when he and Iolaus crossed a stream and he remembered the landmark. He didn't mention it, though. They talked very little as they walked. Iolaus was unusually quiet, no stories, no jokes, and Hercules wondered if something was bothering his friend.
He could see the edge of the trees, when Hecate appeared. She wore her maiden face, but her clothing was a long grey cloak concealing her entire body.
"Hecate," he greeted her evenly.
Iolaus glanced at him quickly. "I'll – uh – wait for you…" he muttered, waving a hand roughly in the direction they had been going.
When Iolaus was out of earshot, Hecate spoke. "I wish to add my thanks to Alani's, Hercules."
"I didn't do it for you."
"Nevertheless. I find myself in your debt. That is something I wish to repay."
"No." Hercules shook his head. "You and Dione both used me, Hecate. Don't think I'm not aware of that. I don't resent it: I loved Dione. But as far as I'm concerned, we're even, you and I. It's finished."
She inclined her head gracefully. "Unfortunately, it's not that simple. I do owe you, son of Zeus. If you ask me for nothing now, remember it. You may find you wish to call in the debt, someday."
He frowned. There was a significance in what she was saying beyond the words. If only Hecate wouldn't talk in riddles. He was leaving Calydon now; he wanted to leave Hecate behind as well. Although he wished he didn't have to leave Alani…he didn't want to have found his daughter only to lose her again, like…
"Maybe there is something you can do for me," he said suddenly. "Hecate, how well do you get along with Hera?"
The goddess' silver eyes narrowed. "We co-operate. Why?"
"Keep Alani safe from her." He tried to hide it, but his whole heart was in his eyes as he spoke. "Just keep her safe. That's all I'll ever ask of you, Hecate."
There was a softening in her eyes and for a moment he glimpsed blue behind the silver. "I will."
Hercules paused at the edge of the trees and glanced around. As closely as he could tell, this was the same spot where he had said goodbye to Dione. Iolaus was waiting for him a short distance away. This time, he wouldn't be leaving Calydon alone. He had a gift he wouldn't lose, his daughter.
And he knew he would be back.
Author's Note: The events depicted in this story happened between the H:TLJ episodes "Armageddon Now" and "Twilight".