There once was an accountant who lived her whole life without
ever taking advantage of any of the people she worked for. In fact,
she made sure that every job she did resulted in a win-win situation.
One day while walking down the street she was tragically hit by a
bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at
the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven,"
said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though it seems
we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had
an accountant make it this far and we're not really sure what to do
with you."
"No problem, just let me in." said the accountant. "Well,
I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let
you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can
choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind...I prefer to stay in
Heaven" "Sorry, we have rules..."
And with that St. Peter put the
accountant in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The
doors opened and the accountant found herself stepping out onto the putting
green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club
and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow accountants
that she had worked with and they were all dressed in evening gowns and
cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and
they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of
golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an
excellent steak and lobster dinner.
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a great time
telling jokes and dancing. The accountant was having such a good
time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook
her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and
found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in
heaven."
So the accountant spent the next 24 hours lounging around on
clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and
before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got
her. "So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in
heaven. Now you must choose you're eternity." The accountant paused
for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say
this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but
I think I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again the accountant
went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator
opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in
garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were
picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to
her and put his arm around her. "I don't understand, stammered the
accountant, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a
country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time.
Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look
miserable." The Devil looked at her and smiled. "That's because
yesterday you were a recruit, but today you're staff."
