1. Humphrey Bear. He is way too happy for someone with no
genitals.
2. When a commercial announces that their product is "new and
improved."
Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before
it. If it's improved, then there must have been something wrong with
it before.
3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the room
for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change
the channel manually.
4. When people say, "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it
too."
Bugger off... What good is a cake you can't eat? What,
should I eat someone else's cake instead?
5. When people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Of
course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do
people do this? Who and where are they?
6. When people say, while watching a movie, "Did you see that?"
No, dicknose, I paid $8.50 to come to the theater to stare at that
thing over there. What did you come here for?
7. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" You didn't really
give me a choice now, did ya there, buddy?
8. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I
know where my watch is, buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I point
at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
