Being in the recruitment field I have discovered this fantastic opportunity
for you lovely ladies.
Please hurry and get your application forms in as this is an excellent
chance to do nothing.
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The Spice Girls Application Form
**************************************
I have been reliably informed that one of the Spice Girls has left the
Group and that they are currently recruiting (on an urgent basis) for
members. The position will commence, conveniently, on the Australian leg
of their World Tour.
I urge you to make the most of this fabulous opportunity by applying on
the form below.
Name: _________________________________
Age: _________________________________
Real age: _________________________________
How would you best describe yourself?
( ) An energetic self-starter
( ) A team player
( ) A tasty, albeit untalented, bit of crumpet
Do you have any detectable vestige of talent, besides your tits?
( ) Yes ( ) No
Would it bother you to be the target of unrelenting hatred?
( ) Yes ( ) No
Are you willing to trade sexual favours for a career in the music
industry?
( ) Yes ( ) No
How many times have you been kicked out of a karaoke bar?
Explain the difficulties in identifying the source of individual free
will in light of the deterministic theories of neurochemical medicine
and modern ouralist psychology. Just kidding!! Seriously, do you like
leather mini-skirts?
( ) Yes ( ) No
Are you deceptively attractive in coloured or stroboscopic light?
( ) Cute, blonde, appeals to all men
( ) Tub of lard
( ) Bloke. In a tracksuit
( ) Vacant stare, no discernible brain activity
( ) Terrifying to small children and old men
( ) All of the above
Do you promise to make one album and then go away forever?
( ) Yes ( ) No
If two trains leave Liverpool an hour apart at 90 kilometres, and 75
kilometres an hour, respectively, how good would you look in a bikini?
_________________________________________________________________
If required as part of your contract, would you be willing to help
alleviate Prince Charles's loneliness?
( ) Yes ( ) No
In space provided, tell us why you want, why you really, really, want
this job.
