A man longs to wed a maiden with her virtue intact. He searches for one
but resigns himself to the fact that every female over the age of 10 in
his town has been at it.
Finally he decides to take matters in hand and adopts a baby girl from
the orphanage. He raises her until she is walking and talking and then
sends her away to a monastery for safekeeping until marrying age. After
many years she finally reaches maturity and he retrieves her from the
monastery and marries her.
After the wedding they make their way back to his house and into the
bedroom where they both prepare themselves for the consummation. They
lie down together in his bed and he reaches over for a jar of petroleum
jelly.
"Why the jelly," she asks him?
"So I don't hurt your most delicate parts during the act of lovemaking,"
he replies.
"Well, why don't you just spit on your cock like the monks did?!"
