A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc...
After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting
pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he
should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea
what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet
how he will know when the pigs are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead,
lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs
up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial
insemination means he has to impregnate the pigs. So, he loads the pigs
into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all,
brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are
all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and
loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig
twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still just standing around.
One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive
them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs and, upon
returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at
the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are
laying i the mud.
"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them's honking the
horn!"
