MEMORANDUM
From: Bin Laden, Osama
To: All AlQuieda Fighters
Subject: The Cave
Hi guys.
We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come
together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting
up the poster that says "There is no 'I' in team" as well as the
Garfield that says "Hang In There, Baby." Very humorous.
However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care
of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns -
1st of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles,
we should be even more concerned about the carpet dust in our cave.
We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety
issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily, I've done my bit on the
cleaning rota...........have you? I've posted a sign up sheet near
the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster).
2nd, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying
to scare most of the world population, okay? That means that while
we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the
background or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing just while we're taping.
Thanks.
3rd: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy"
on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea
slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
4th: I'm not against team chanting and all that, but, we must
distance ourselves from the Westerner's bat and ball games. Please
do not chant "Ossy Ossy Ossy Oi Oi Oi" everytime I ride past on the
donkey. Thanks
Last, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise
trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for
them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar, and Dave.
Love you lots, Group Hug.
Os.
PS - I'm sick of having Osama's Bed Linen scribbled on my bed sheets
- Cut it out Abdul, not funny anymore.
