I quickly moved my arm away and her head fell and landed with a small ‘thud’, I bit my lip but she didn’t wake up. I razed my eyebrows "Must be empty…", I turned to my other side "Don’t say it Jack!" but I realised know one was beside me, I felt the tears well up in my eyes. ‘Don’t do that Daniel, you promised yourself’ I rubbed my eyes angrily and pulled open my bag. I had to find something, anything to keep my find of them. "Finally" my diary felt strangely empty in my hands, my eyes traced the cover of the plain black book which held the last few months of my life.
"What the hey" I opened the cover and skipped to the next empty page and started writing, not thinking about anything but the page of paper. -1st of July, 1999- ***I sighed and gripped my pen, Jack had given it to me, for my birthday that year, on the top of it it had my name and ‘from Jack’ in gold. He said when he gave it to me, I’d looked shocked. He’d laughed when I’d asked him how he’d known. Said, he knew more things than I thought. I just shook my head and smiled, opening the small box. "Jesus Jack, you shouldn’t have" Jack smiled back at me and patted me on the shoulder "You deserve *something* Danny" "Jack, I hate it when you call me that" A grin spread across Jack’s face and he scruffled my hair "Oh Daniel, don’t ever change" I shook my head "Don’t plan on Jack, don’t plan on".***
I looked back at my diary and placed my pen back on it and started to write, I couldn’t see my writing but I knew what I was writing. -This will be my last entry. I don’t see much point. I’ve been on this bus for days now, it’s slowly driving me insane, it’d be okay if I had something to look forward to. I don’t. I haven’t written an entry in weeks, like I said before ‘what’s the point?’. There is no point, but as they say, ‘Does life had a point?’, I’m one of the lucky ones, I found out the answer. And no, there is no point.
Sorry to bring the bad news folks! What’s life without family and friends? Nothing! And I’ve found out the hard way. Jack and Sam are gone. I don’t know what to do, they were everything to me. They were my family *and* my friends, my very best friends. They always kept me sane, and got me out of trouble, but most of all, they were my family. I miss them sooo much. Even Teal’c. Who took my Sha’uri away from me. I don’t even have him. I really am alone. I’ve been there before, loneliness that is. When my parents died I was alone, no family, no friends, no one ever cared. I got used to being alone.
Then Jack came along, then Sha’uri, then Sam and then finally Teal’c. Then I lost then again. Sha’uri, then Jack and then Sam. And finally Teal’c. And then once again I’m alone. Running away like I always did, it’s what I’m good at now. I don’t know what to do without them, they were my life. I don’t know what I should write now. I feel I’ve given them the credit I should, or all I can on paper but something feels amiss…- I looked up to see a 6 year old trying to play frisby, but not succeeding. The frisby came towards me, I reached out with both hands and plucked it from the air, the little girl made her way over the luggage to me. I gave her the best smile I could muster up.
She took the frisby "Thank you". She gave me an almost toothless smile and made her way back through the bus middle. I looked back down at my lap, where was my diary? I bent down, past my neighbours head and too the floor. There it is! But I’d lost my page. I sighed and looked back at the cover ‘Doesn’t matter, wasn’t going to write in it anymore’ I sighed again and shoved it back in to my single bag. I smiled when I saw the tag, Jack had given it to me after one of our not-so-good missions. He said he’d found it and thought it pretty much suited the mission in general.
"A friend with weed, is a friend indeed" I pulled my bag onto my lap and gazed out the window at the passing country side, thinking of all the good times we had, the sleepovers were all we did was drink. Or all they did was watch the X-files and make fun of is while I tried to explain how it was possible. God, I missed them. Suddenly, the people on the bus seemed to talk twice as loud. I heard a small whimper then a sob. "Shut up! Everybody just shut up!" I didn’t have my family or friends to keep me sane. No-one to hold me back. The voice was mine…
