FSM, Q&A

Ah, who is this Queen of Ultimate Darkness? (okay, that's stretching it. We'll call her a Minor Duchess of Oddball Villainy.) Who is this masked Frolloite bearing the fortuitous number of FSM #21? Why does she have so much free time?

Q. Whenceforth came the name "Covielle"?
A. It's originally an Italian name from Commedia Dell'Arte---Coviello. Moliere, the French playwright, stole it, Gallified it into "Covielle", and used it for a character in the play "Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme ("The Would-Be Gentleman"). Covielle is a wily manservant who, despite numerous botched capers, manages to convince a rather stupid merchant that his master would make the merchant's daughter an excellent husband, despite his lack of a noble title. Thrown in the deal, of course, is that Covielle finally gets to get hitched to Nicole, the daughter's equally clever maid.

Q. Answer the dang question.
A. Sorry! Sorry! When I first came upon the world of Frollodom, it was suggested by the illustrious Belladonna that I find a good pseudonym. French seemed appropriate, and at the time I was playing Covielle---yes, I do have a penchant for winding up in guy parts. Heh.

Q. But you're a 5'2" 98 pound brunette soprano with a pixie cut and glasses. What do you PLAY, the kid brother?
A. Well, I've played a boy twice, but that was awhile ago. Since my freshman year, I've played everything from a flirty '50's secretary to a vicious, glib Captain of the British Marines.

Q. Great. What else do you do online?
A. I have an art website---I'm very proud of it. Go look. http://www.angelfire.com/yt/impossible I also hang about on the Frolloforum and D.'s imaginary country, Umbagollah, where I'm known as Dr. Quirk Yesterday.

Q. Okay.
A. That's not a question!
Q. So sue me!
A. *sigh* Fine. I'm sorry.
Q. I just want to know why I always have to ask the questions.
A. Because "question" starts with Q, and you're Q.
Q. That's discrimination!
A. Oh, come ON. Don't be so juvenile.
Q. My rights are being infringed! JUSTICE!
A. I know that I'm in trouble when you start quoting Esmeralda lines.
Q. Are you saying that I couldn't be Esmeralda?
A. Do we really have to go through this again?
Q. You think I'm not pretty enough to be Esmeralda, is that it? You think I can't sing nice enough? You think I couldn't whip Demi Moore?
A. No, I don't think that at---
Q. (off key) GOD HELP THE OUTCASTS, THE POOOOR AND DOOWOWN TROD---
A. Oh, god...
Q. No, no, the lyric goes 'I thought we all were the children of God', not 'oh, god.' Don't you even pay attention to the soundtrack?
A. Do you REALLY want me to start singing Hellfire, numbskull?
Q. Oh, sure, like you really could.
A. (stony silence)
Q. Uh---no---wait, I didn't mean it that way---I swear, A! I'm sorry!
A. Oh, no. You don't know the meaning of the word "sorry." I'll show you "sorry", buster.
Q. Please! I'll do anything! Forget I said anything! Of course you can sing Hellfire and recite the entire script! How could I be so foolish?
A. Good question. How could you be so foolish? (deep breath) BEATA MARIA, YOU KNOW I AM A RIGHTEOUS MAN, OF MY VIRTUE I AM JUSTLY PROUD---
Q. Help! Help! Somebody help me!
Quasimodo. Don't worry, Q brethren! I'll save you!
A. BEATA MARIA, YOU KNOW I'M SO MUCH PURER THAN THE COMMON, VULGAR, WEAK, LICENTIOUS CROWWWWWD---
Q. Oh thank heavens! Quickly, before she reaches the chorus!
Quasimodo. Take my hand! (Quasimodo swoops down and rescues Q.)
A. THEN TELL ME, MARIA, WHY I SEE HER DANCING THERE---
Quasimodo. Sanctuary! Sanctuary!
Q. Hurry, Quasi! No time for dramatics! We must escape before she starts with the hand gestures!
(Quasimodo and Q. bound off into the night, leaving A. writhing on the floor)
A. WHY HER SMOLDERING EYES STILL SCORCH MY SOUL---come on, sing along, everybody! I FEEL HER, I SEE HER! THE SUN CAUGHT IN HER RAVEN HAIR...