About Myself:  I have an extensive collection of small pebbles that I've pulled out of the soles of my shoes. I enjoy horseback riding and adhering postage stamps to your more than ample breasts. I am well versed with the poetry of Lord Alfred Tennyson though I find his poems a bit lacking of sex and violence. I am a S.A.G. must join without any acting ability. A non tanned beach junkie, and have no sense of humor. Yes its true. You're the one I am waiting for. Just ask me. I will tell you all about us. Were beautiful together. Yes we are, Don't argue with me. roflol

About My Ideal Match: 

Two legs, preferable, but not necessary. She must have spent no more than 10 years in any major state penitentiary. I wouldn't mind if she could shoot fire out of her eyes or her tong was able to reach my tonsils, but I understand that physics and 100,000,000 years of evolution is a hard force to battle against. I will settle for a woman that can suck the chrome off a steel ball through a forty-foot garden hose, as I am quite pleased with someone that can admit a man needs a good blowjob, now and again. It is always a plus in my book to find a woman that will spoon in the nude, while watching movies, and yes I know I’m in you at the time. To feel the warmth of a woman in any manner, while enjoying the perks of life is always beneficial to the human race, as I think it should be. “In you at every possible occasion, and in every possible way” I think of myself as a true humanitarian in this manner”. After all, not to get religious, which I am not, GOD made us to fit together in so many ways. I would be remiss if I were not to indulge myself in your ample grace and warmth. Just remember, it has a mind of its own and I am not personally responsible for where it goes while spooning.

Oh, yeah, and she must have toenails, pretty painted and well manicured toenails. 

How I would like to be treated by a Woman:

Deceit, I want her to lie to me. All night. Whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Be all she can be, more even.  Be something she can't be and add to that. Wonder woman, or a Swedish maid costume would work well for a first date. Remember the time she had the most fun with someone, then picture me. Take the wildest night you have ever had, renting movies, and eating popcorn at home, and I am right in there. I am a wild man. Going to a restaurant, not too expensive, but great food ,and then to a movie, where we could just relax and watch someone do what he or she gets paid to do. Then sex. Lots and lots of sex. You're my woman. A piece of my mind waiting to happen.