Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and for entertainment purposes. I do not own the characters, they are the property of their original creators.
Feedback: Comments welcome at mistyxxx@atlanticbb.net
Authors Notes: This is an answer to a forum suggestion. I have changed that Sarah is there after the first season.
I want to thank Owlcroft for her help by beta-ing and all her great suggestions.
by Susan Bishoff
Mark McCormick ambled to the poolside patio and sat down at the table. He began to shovel eggs and bacon onto his plate and then fixed his toast. He took a large bite and then said, "Hardcase, hand me part of the paper."
"Mark, it's not polite to talk with your mouth full," Sarah admonished gently. She smiled as she watched the ex-con's face flush from embarrassment.
"Sorry, Sarah," he replied and then asked the judge again, "Now can I see part of the paper?"
Judge Hardcastle grumbled and handed him part of the paper. "Here. Now will you let me read the paper in peace?" He then snuck glances over his paper and watched the younger man as he read the paper. He knew exactly when his young friend saw the article he had seen earlier himself.
Mark was reading the entertainment section when his eyes fell upon a familiar name and the announcement that he would be performing at the club all week. "Sonny's in town and he didn't call or write to let me know. Maybe he thinks I don't want to see him after he left in Atlantic City without saying goodbye, he thought to himself as he tried to sort out his mixed feelings at discovering his father was in town.
The retired jurist watched his young associate's face and saw several emotions pass over it. Knowing it was a sensitive subject for McCormick, he decided not to say anything about it unless the kid brought it up.
The young man put the paper aside and went back to his breakfast in silence. After he finished he looked over at the judge and said, "I'm gonna call and see if Sonny would like to come over to visit."
Hardcastle watched as the ex-con nervously waited for his response. He could tell this was important to the kid, but he had his reservations. This was the man who had left the kid twice before, once when he was five and again in Atlantic City when McCormick had located him last year. He could remember the funk the young man had been in for weeks after returning from Jersey. "Sure, you can invite him. This is your home too and you can invite your father to visit," the older man told his younger friend, giving his permission. But also wanting to precaution him against getting his hopes too high, he warned him, "Try not to expect too much."
"I know, but I want to give him another chance," the young man replied uncertainly.
"Yeah, I guess I can understand that," the jurist answered and then watched as McCormick walked into the house.
Sarah had remained silent as the two men spoke. She had not been in Atlantic City when Mark had found his father, but she remembered how upset he had been when he returned. She had gotten the details of what had happened from the judge and then later from Mark himself. Not sure if this was wise, she said, "Your Honor, are you sure about this?"
Looking over at his long-time housekeeper, he could see his own reservations reflected on her face. "No, Sarah, I'm not, but he has a right to see his father if he wants to."
"I know, but what if he hurts Mark again?" she asked, not able to hide her concern.
"Then we'll just have to help him deal with it," Hardcastle answered.
Mark called the lounge where Sonny would be appearing to get the hotel Sonny where was staying. He waited nervously while the phone rang in his father's room. When he heard the line pick up, he quickly said, "Hello, Sonny? It's Mark."
He waited for Sonny to say something and when silence was all he heard he went on quickly. "Listen, I saw in the paper that you were going to be in L.A. all week and I thought I'd invite you to come for a visit."
He listened to Sonny's response and said, "Of course, it's okay with the judge. I told him I wanted to invite you over and he said it was fine." He listened as Sonny spoke again and then replied, "I thought we could try again. That maybe we could get to know each other better. You could come to Gulls-way for dinner or just drop by to visit."
He was quiet again as he listened to what his father said and then replied excitedly. "You will! That's great! Okay, I'll see you sometime this week!" He hung up the phone barely able to contain his enthusiasm. I can't believe it. He said yes. He said he would have to fit it in between acts and rehearsals, but he would come sometime this week, he thought as he tried to control his emotions.
Unknown to the young man, his conversation had been overheard by the jurist. He hadn't intended to eavesdrop, but he was heading to the den when he heard McCormick ask Sonny to come. Then he waited to hear if the kid was let down again or if maybe his father was going to come through. He was pleased to hear that Sonny had agreed to come but at the same time he was worried that Mark would be disappointed again. Also he couldn't shake that a part of him felt threatened by the idea of Mark getting close to his father. The kid has a right to know his dad. It's not like he'll decide to just up and leave with him. For one thing, he's still on parole and I know the kid likes it here. So why do I feel so uneasy at the idea of them getting to know each other? he pondered as he tried to sort out his confused ideas. Not wanting McCormick to know he had heard the conversation, he made a noise in the hall to signal his approach.
Hearing the judge, the ex-con tried to calm his features. He understood his friend's concerns and didn't want to let it show just how much this meant to him. When the older man entered the den, Mark told him calmly, "Sonny said he'd come out for a visit while he's in town."
Hardcastle knew that McCormick had toned down his excitement quite a bit, but decided not to comment on it. The kid needed encouragement and support, not his doubts. "That's great, kiddo," he replied.
"I'm gonna go tell Sarah and then I'll go start my chores," the young ex-con said as he left the den as excited as a kid at Christmas.
The judge sat down in his chair heavily and sighed deeply. He's looking forward to this so much. He's counting on you Sonny, and you had better not let him down, the jurist thought to himself as he tried to push his concerns aside.
The week passed uneventfully and as each day went by with no visit from Sonny, Mark became more and more depressed. He tried not to let Sarah or the judge know just how disappointed he was by Sonny's failure to show, but he knew that he hadn't been able to hide all of his feelings. The ex-con couldn't help feeling that somehow he should have expected this and not let himself hope for a change of heart on Sonny's part.
Hardcastle had watched McCormick as this week had passed and Sonny failed to make an appearance. He knew the kid was trying not to let it show that he was upset by that but it was obvious every time he thought he was alone and no one could see him. It was evident in his face and body language. The judge could feel his anger at Mark's father rise when he thought about it.
Sarah had quietly observed the judge's and Mark's behavior over this past week and was concerned for both men. She could see the depression settling around the young man and the anger within the older man. She didn't know how to help these two men that meant so much to her.
She felt that Mark's depression was caused by his father's failure to show up and his belief that he was somehow responsible. She knew that he carried a lot of guilt that he was not a good child and caused his father to leave. He had told her that after he returned from Atlantic City. He had given his Sonny the chance to come and now that he hadn't the young man wondered of there was something wrong with him that has kept his father away.
Sarah understood that the judge's anger was twofold, that he was angry with Sonny Daye but he was also angry with himself. She understood his anger with Mark's father as she was upset with the man herself. How he could hurt his son like that with no regrets was something she couldn't understand Oh, if I could get my hands on that man for hurting that sweet boy like that, well what I have to say, may not be very polite, she thought to herself as she considered the young man's pain.
Sarah had a harder time understanding the jurist's anger with himself. She knew that he was afraid Mark and his father would get close and that Mark might want to go with him. That made him very angry with himself because he felt this should be about McCormick and his father. She knew that if Mark's parole wasn't an issue and Mark wanted to go, the judge wouldn't try to stop him. She also knew that Hardcastle had come to see Mark as a son and the thought of losing him scared him greatly.
Sarah didn't feel Mark would go with his father and that he just wanted to get to know him. She knew that he looked to the judge for approval and acceptance and she didn't think a relationship with his father would change that. She believed that he had already found the father he had been looking for in the judge and wanted friendship with his father if possible.
The last day that Sonny was going to be in town, Mark called his hotel room again. He listened as the phone rang and rang and was just about to hang up when he heard it picked up and his father's voice on the other end. "Sonny, it's Mark. I called because I know this is your last night in town and I wanted to see if you could come over today."
He listened for a few minutes while Sonny spoke and then said, "I know, but you wouldn't have to stay long. I just thought you could come over for a little while." He was silent and as his father spoke, he could feel his spirits sink. Trying to keep his disappointment out of his voice, he replied, "Yeah, I understand. I guess I'll see you next time you're in town." He hung up the phone and walked out of the house. He walked right past the judge without even noticing him.
Hardcastle watched as the young man walked out the door. He knew the kid was disappointed that Sonny did not come. He knew that Mark was coming to the conclusion that his father wasn't coming and it was hard to ignore that he was hurting. He only hoped that he and Sarah could help him through this.
That evening at dinner, Mark sat quietly picking at his dinner. Sarah watched him for a few minutes and then asked, "Mark, are you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," the young man replied. He remained quiet for several minutes and then said, "I should've known he wouldn't come."
The judge and Sarah didn't know what to say to help the young man, so they didn't say anything.
They had been sitting there for a while when Mark pushed his chair back from the table. He carried his plate to the sink and said, "I'm gonna go for a walk on the beach. I'll do the dishes when I get back."
"That's fine, but don't worry about the dishes. I'll take care of them," Sarah told him. She and the judge watched as he walked out of the house.
Mark returned from the beach, walked to the patio, and sat in a lounge chair by the pool. He sat staring at the water as he tried to deal with his feeling over his father not coming to see him.
Hardcastle had seen Mark walk past the den window and when he didn't come in he went to find where the young man had gone. He went to the kitchen and glanced out the door toward the pool and saw him sitting at there. He decided to take a drink out to the kid and see if he wanted to talk.
Sarah decided that she would go talk to Mark as well and followed the judge to the table.
Mark sat silently for several minutes. When the judge and Sarah arrived at the table he still didn't respond. He just sat staring at the water. After a while he said so softly that he almost wasn't heard, "I never should have expected him to come."
Sarah reached over and, giving him a hug, said, "Mark, I know you are hurting right now, but Judge Hardcastle and I are here for you."
"I know and I appreciate it, Sarah, but it doesn't change anything," the young man replied.
"McCormick, you know Sonny has his own priorities and you can't change that," the judge said, not sure how to ease his young friend's hurt feelings.
"I know, but I just thought that since he was in town for a week, that maybe he could come for a little while. I asked him earlier if he could come today, but he said that this was his last night and he wanted to make it special for the audience so he needed to rehearse all day and wouldn't have time. He said that as soon as his show ended this evening he had to be on the road to the next city." Mark said as he kept his gaze fixed on the water.
Hardcastle sighed and then said, "Kiddo, I know you are disappointed and upset, and you have every right to be. But you are just going to have to accept that Sonny is the way he is."
"Yeah, I guess," the ex-con said glancing at the judge. He waited a few moments and then said sadly, "I should have learned my lesson by now. He left me when I was five and then he made it pretty clear in Atlantic City that he didn't want anything to do with me, but I couldn't help hoping that this time he might want me. I guess I'm just too dumb to realize that he doesn't want to see me."
The judge hated that Sonny could make the kid feel so bad. You hurt him and desert him and he takes the blame on himself. That's the thing that I hate most about you, he thought trying to control his own emotions. "Kiddo, this is your father's problem. In no way are you responsible," he said trying to help Mark feel better.
"Maybe, but if I would have been better then maybe he wouldn't have left. Maybe if I would have been a better person, he could have been proud of me and wanted me for his son." the young man said dejectedly.
"Mark, that's nonsense!" Sarah responded and then continued, "You did not make your father leave. If he left it had nothing to do with your being good. You are a fine boy and all children are bad at times. That is no excuse for a parent leaving. And as for being someone your father would be proud of, you already are."
"Yes, but I screwed up everything and went to prison," Mark replied as he tried to absorb what Sarah had said.
"Maybe you made some mistakes but you're working on doing things the right way now. You're learning to handle things in a more responsible manner and not take the easy way out. You're making a life to be proud of and if Sonny can't deal with that, it is his problem. You have nothing to be ashamed of," the judge said as he tried to ease his friend's mind.
Mark was silent for several minutes while he absorbed everything the judge and Sarah had said to him. As the two watched, they could see some of the sadness leave his face. He smiled after a few moments, turned to them and said, "Thanks Judge, and you too, Sarah. I feel a little better now. I know it's still early, but I think I'll go to bed now. See you tomorrow."
Sarah and Hardcastle watched the young man walk off across the yard and once he went around the corner they went back into the house.
The next morning Sarah was going to go visit a friend and the judge was going to see Lieutenant Frank Harper about information for a case. Mark was still a little upset and didn't feel up to going anywhere so he stayed home to work in the yard.
Hardcastle dropped Sarah off at her friend's telling her he'd pick her up in an hour. He went to the police station and hounded Frank for the information he needed. After he got the information he made small talk with the officer until time to pick up Sarah.
Sarah and the judge decided to stop at a sidewalk café and have lunch. They pulled over and were about to take their seats at one of the empty tables when they heard loud laughter that caught their attention. When they looked they were both shocked to see Sonny Daye sitting there with a woman. Sarah recognized him from a picture Mark had shown her.
Before he knew what was happening, Sarah walked over to the table. "Mr. Daye," she said.
Sonny stood and said, "Hello, are you a fa--" he was stopped when he felt the sharp sting from the slap Sarah delivered to his cheek.
"Sarah!" Hardcastle said as he reached her side. He looked at Sonny and saw him rubbing his already reddening cheek. He glanced at the young woman accompanying Sonny and thought, Well, at least she has more clothes on than the last woman I saw him with. He noticed that she seemed content to just let the scene in front of her take place and not ask questions.
Seeing the judge standing there, Sonny began to get nervous. Before he could think of anything to say, Sarah spoke.
"How dare you lie to that boy? You told him you would come see him and didn't,." Sarah said trying to get hold of her anger.
Sonny looked to Hardcastle and just received a shrug in response. "I just didn't have time. I was busy rehearsing and then performing. I couldn't drive all the way out there, spend hours there and then get back to do my shows," he said, trying to justify his actions.
"You didn't have to stay very long. He would have been happy if you had come for just a few minutes. You didn't even call and tell him you weren't coming. You let him wait all week wondering when you would show up!" Sarah said as her voice reflected her growing anger.
"He was always a smart kid, so I thought he'd figure it out," Sonny replied, not making any excuse for his shortcoming.
"And what about today? You told him that you were leaving right after your show last night. You could have come seen him this morning or even now," she said not caring if she upset this man.
"Listen, I didn't ask him to come find me and if he wanted to see me so bad, why didn't he come to my show?" the lounge singer retorted, growing tired of defending himself with regard to his son.
"He did," Hardcastle answered quietly.
"What?" Sonny asked, confused.
"He did come to your show. He was there on Thursday night." the judge replied.
"Then why didn't he come see me after the show?" the singer asked, thinking that now he had found justification for his lack of concern.
"He went to show his support for you. He didn't see you after the show because he didn't want to be the one making the first move. He wanted you to take the first step this time," Hardcastle replied barely holding his anger.
Sonny was beginning to realize that he didn't stand a chance of winning an argument with the two of them and said, "Look, I didn't ask him to come find me in Atlantic City and I didn't ask him to call me when I was here in town."
Sarah was very angry and told him, "Mr. Daye, Mark is your son! He shouldn't have had to come looking for you. You should have been there for him all his life!"
"Sarah, take it easy," Hardcastle told her, trying to calm her.
"I'm fine now. I've said all I have to say to Mr. Daye. I'm not hungry anymore, Your Honor. I just want to go home," she said. Sensing that the judge had some things he wanted to say to Mark's father, she added, "I'll wait for you in the truck."
"Okay, Sarah," he replied and then turning to Sonny asked, "Do you really have anything to say for yourself, Sonny?"
"I guess maybe I wasn't cut out to be a father," Sonny Daye responded just wanting the conversation to end.
"That may be, but you aren't the one that was hurt by your deciding you had better things to do than be a father. No, Mark is the one that has paid the price for that, wondering for years and still wondering if there was something he did that caused you to leave. Your selfishness hasn't hurt you, but it has hurt the last person you ever should have--Mark," Hardcastle stated.
"It wasn't anything he did. I just had a great opportunity and figured he'd be better off without me," the singer said, knowing his answer sounded weak even to himself.
"No, you didn't think about whether he'd be better off, just about this job you wanted. I'll tell you something. Mark is a very good kid and I would be proud to call him my son," the judge told him.
"Well, see, he doesn't need me. He's got you," Sonny replied, trying to turn the situation around.
"Yes, I'll be there for him when he needs me--for as long as he needs me. But he still wants you in his life. He called you even though he knew you might not come through. One of these days, you are going to take a look at your life and want a relationship with Mark, but it'll be too late. He'll have quit waiting for you to decide you wanted to know him," the judge said and then walked away without waiting for a response.
Hardcastle got into the truck and pulled back into traffic. When they last saw Sonny, he was still standing there where the judge left him.
The judge and Sarah turned their attention to what they would do when they got home. They decided that they wouldn't mention seeing Sonny today. There was no reason to upset Mark any more than he was. They also decided that they would make sure he always knew that even if his father couldn't fit him into his schedule, they would always have time for him. They would also make sure he knew he was someone they were proud of and always would be. Those were the thoughts on their minds as they headed back to Gulls-Way.