Florine Atner                                                                                                  November 10, 1999

Disclaimer:  The characters of Simon and Simon do not belong to me.  This is for entertainment purposes only.

 

            OUR FAVORITE VAMPIRE Part Three

 

Chapter Two - The Partnership Begins

 

            The sun was sinking behind the ridge of the Pacific Ocean when they finally hit San Diego.  AJ and Marty were in the PowerWagon while Rick and Jamie were in the flatbed t ruck.  They were all thinking about how their lives had changed so suddenly.  Especially Marty.  He wondered how in the world he got Jamie and himself into this mess. 

            "I should have let the Durass sisters have the damn cloaking devices!  But I just couldn't . . .  I had no choice but to go though that black hole.  At least I'm with good people.  But what about the other people I will meet?  Will AJ and Rick's mother like me?  Will I fit into this society without breaking the Prime Directive?  Oh Lord, I hope I did the right thing!"  As Marty was mulling his problem, he heard a beep.  It was the communicator that he had given to Rick to keep in touch with him and AJ.  He picked up the communicator and answered.

            "Yes Jamie?"

            "Nope, it ain't Jamie, it's me, Rick.  I wanted to talk to you about where we're gonna put your ship!  I don't think AJ's backyard is gonna make it.  It's way too small for your ship."

            "He's right," answered AJ, "My yard is way too small for your ship.  And besides, how in the world am I going to explain to my neighbors about it?"

            "Do you have any ideas where we can dock it?" Marty asked.

            "Yeah, I do have an idea," answered Rick. "We can store her at my friend's lumberyard until we can find a permanent home for her. And Buzzsaw won't ask any questions . . . He's cool.   What do ya think of the idea AJ?"

            "Not bad . . . for you! What do you think Marty?"

            "It sounds like an excellent idea, but can this Buzzsaw be trusted?"

            "Definitely! The Buzzer and I go way back!"

            "Well, if he starts asking questions, I'm going to have to give him the stare. 

Understand . . .  I don't want to do it because he's your friend, but I must protect myself and Jamie."

            "Hey, I understand.  But don't worry, he won't ask.  Trust me!"

            "Okay Rick, I'll trust you,"  answered the vampire.

 

            They drove to Buzzsaw's just as he was closing for the night.  Rick got out of the rig and walked over to Buzzsaw. They shook hands and Rick began talking to Buzzsaw.  At first, Buzzer kept shaking his head.  Marty looked at AJ and said telepathically,  "This is not going well, he seems to be hesitating.  Perhaps I should try to convince him myself."

            "No,"  said AJ telepathically back. "Let's wait.  Rick will talk him into it."

            After what seemed a long time, Rick came back with a grin.  "Okay, you're in.  You can park over there.  He won't look and you can come and go whenever you please."

            "Rick, how did you get him to agree to this?" asked Jamie.

            "I made a deal.  Simple swap. There's been a rash of burglaries in the area.  I simply exchanged our services for the favor.  Tonight, one of us will guard the place.  Who wants to volunteer?"

            Marty smiled and raised his hand.  "I will since it's my ship.  If anybody tries to break in here, they will be in for a big surprise," he said smiling, showing his fangs.  "I think I will be a large wolf. It's been a while since I've been one and I need the exercise."

            "Great.  Okay, do you need anything?" asked Rick.  "Kilbbles, a chewbone?"

            Marty gave a big laugh and smiled.  But AJ didn't think it was funny at all and gave Rick a look that conveyed his displeasure. 

            Marty also noticed the look and said, "AJ, relax. He was just kidding!  I'm not insulted. Really!"

            "But still . . . "

            "No buts!  I enjoy a good joke.  No, I need nothing . . .  Just a break at midnight so I can hunt.  I can't go without some fresh food."

            "But Martin, what about the artificial blood?  There is still plenty left.," Jamie reminded him.

             But Marty just frowned and said, "Thanks, but no thanks.  I'm tired of that stuff, I need some fresh blood.  Jamie, I need to go hunting!"

            "Very well Martin, I will come later to take over."

            He was about to say something else, when Buzzsaw walked over.  Buzzy was a bear of man.  He was over six feet tall and weighed at least three hundred pounds.  He wore a San Diego Padres baseball hat and overalls covered with sawdust.  He held out his hand as Rick did the introductions.

            "Buzzsaw, these are our cousins, Marty and Jamie.  Guys meet Clarence 'Buzzsaw' Cooder," introduced Rick.

            "Howdy fellas!"  Buzzsaw shook Marty's hand and then Jamie's.

            "It's a pleasure to meet you," Marty answered enthusiastically.

            "Hello," Jamie said flatly.

            "Ricky said one of you fellas are gonna watch my place, which one will it be?"

            Marty smiled slightly and then said, "I'm going to be your watchdog tonight.  You have nothing to worry about.  If anybody tries to come in . . .   They are going to regret their decision!"

            "Good!  Now here are the keys.  You touch nothin' and everything will be okay.  You understand?  I'll be back at five a.m., I'll see you then.  Bye!"

            "Yes, of course, no problem.  Bye!"

            Buzzsaw nodded, walked to his truck and drove away.

            Marty turned to Jamie and said, "Jamie, you will take over at twelve.  I'll be back by two, the latest. Okay?"

            "Yes Martin."

            Marty then handed Rick the keys and said, "I won't be needing these."

            "But how will you get in?  Buzzer locked up everything."

            "Like this!" answered the vampire.  He walked to the door, closed his eyes and began to change into what looked like smoke or fog.  First his feet melted, then his legs and body and then his face until only his bright turquoise eyes were left.  They then melted away.  When he was completely fog, he oozed himself under the door and into the lumberyard.

            Rick's eyes bugged out as Marty oozed under the door. "Wow!", was all he could say.

            "Interesting!  But, I think it's time for us to go home," said a weary AJ.  "We're tired from the long drive"

            They walked over to the truck, got in and drove away. 

            There was silence in the truck as they sped along toward AJ's house.  Rick could see that AJ was deep in thought.

            "Hey AJ, what's wrong?"  he asked his brother.

            "I was just thinking, how are we going to explain this to Mom?  What do we tell her?  Hey guess what? We're now friends with a vampire and an android who just happen to look like Dad!  Isn't that grand?  She'll either pass out or call the men in the white coats for us!"

            "So we don't tell her!"  Rick answered with a sweep of his cigar,

            "Rick, we have to tell her.  She's going to wonder why suddenly we have two new partners.  We just have to figure out a way to tell her, that's all.  You got any ideas?"

            "Let me think . . . " Rick drove for a while, then suddenly he had that look that meant to AJ that he was getting one those harebrained schemes of his.  "I got it!" he said excitingly.  "The perfect way to tell Mom.  You invite her to dinner and make her favorite meal.  You know, the one she had when she went on that first date with Dad!"

            "The Duck l'Orange?"

            "Yeah, that one!  Also, we'll ply her with wine.  We'll get her nice and mellow and then we'll spring them on her!"

            "Rick, that's a terrible idea!"

            "You got a better one?"

            "Nope . . . " AJ answered hesitantly.

            "So, we'll go with the dinner and wine idea.  We can do it tomorrow night. That's when you'll tell her!"

            "Me? Why me?" countered AJ, as he poked himself with his index finger.  "I thought this was supposed to be an equal partnership!"

            "It is . . .  But you're soo much better at explaining things then me.  Can you help it if you're a natural born diplomat?"

            "A natural born diplomat," uttered AJ sarcastically.  "And what will you be doing while I'm cooking this meal?"

            "Getting our two new partners ready outside!"

            "Outside?"

            "Yeah . . . we'll have to put them somewhere while we're eating dinner.  I thought the deck would be the best place to put them!"

            "Rick, that's a terrible idea!  Hiding them out there . . .  It's cold here at the night."

            "Oh, don't worry," answered Jamie.  "The cold will not bother Marty or me."

            "See AJ I told you, it will work.  So, we'll go with that plan.  We'll keep them on the deck and we'll close the curtains so Mom doesn't see them.  And when she's nice and mellow, we'll introduce them.   Whatta ya think Jamie?  Great idea or what!"

            "It is an excellent idea.  I do believe it will work.  As Martin always says, 'Drinking a little wine makes the news a little better,' Cunningham's Laws'." 

            "Cunningham's Laws?  What are those?"  asked a puzzled AJ.

            "Cunningham's Laws are little sayings that Martin says to teach me about being human and how to be a good detective.  They have become very useful to me."

 

            They finally arrived at AJ's  house and walked over the bridge.  When they got to the house, AJ took out his keys and opened the door.  A big fluff of fur greeted AJ and Rick as they walked in.  It was Marlowe, Rick's dog.  He jumped on them and licked both of them. 

            "Rick . . .  what is Marlowe doing here?  I thought he was at Carlos' house?"

            "He was . . .  but I called him before we left Buzzer's and asked him if he would drop him off. He said okay."

            "How is it he's got a copy of my keys?"

            "Because I gave them to him?"

            AJ just stood there, trying his best not to lose his temper.  He held his breath for a moment and then slowly released it.  Then he spoke.

            "Jamie, you and Marty are going to stay in my guest room.  I'll show you the way.  He pointed to the stairs and then led Jamie up.  "This is the guest room.  I'm right next door.  If you need anything, go see Rick.  I'm going to sleep, so I'll see you in the morning.  And don't forget to remind Rick to take you to Marty."

            "I will not forget.  Goodnight AJ Simon."

            "Goodnight Jamie." 

            AJ walked into the master bedroom and closed the door as Jamie went into the guest room.  He looked around, made a list of all the things he would need to make the place livable for Marty and then went back downstairs. He watched as Rick made himself a sandwich, got a beer and flopped on the couch.

            "Rick, why did AJ almost lose his temper when you gave the key to your friend?  Isn't Carlos his friend too?"

            "Well . . . he is sorta.  Carlos is more my friend than AJ's.  I guess I shouldn't have given Carlos the key.   But I needed Marlowe back and I really wasn't in the mood to drive over to mi amigo's house to get him.  It was a long drive and I'm really tired. So can I get a bit of shuteye before I have to bring you to Marty?"

            "Of course.  However, I will need some blankets to cover up the windows so no light can come in. Will you give me some now?"

            Sure, but later we'll paint the windows black.  I'll get some paint and help you paint over the windows."

            "But wouldn't AJ be angry if we did that?"

            "Na . . .  Not if we explain it to him that it's better than blankets."

            "Yes . . .  And I will promise that we will clean the paint off the window when we leave."  Rick went over to a closet and gave Jamie some blankets.

            "Is that enough Jamie?"

            "Yes it is.  Thank you."

            You're welcome. Now can you please let me get some sleep!"

            "Of course Rick Simon.  Goodnight!"

            "Good night to you Jamie.

 

            Marty turned himself into a huge sleek black wolf.  He had large ears that twitched consistently, listening to any sounds.  Sounds that only he could hear.  As he trotted along the aisles of freshly cut lumber, he could hear the sounds of mice scurrying along the inside of the walls and the creaking of the lumber as it settled in the piles.  He had just walked down the fourth aisle when he heard a thump and then scraping of rubber soles against the sawdust floor.  He silently ran toward the sounds and hid among the stacks of wood.  Marty peeked from behind one of them and saw two kids. Already, one had dropped from the air-conditioning duct and the other was just coming through.  They were no more than thirteen and fourteen-years old.  Mere children.  Marty shook his shaggy head. Marty felt bad about having to call the police, but they were breaking the law and needed to be punished.  He watched as they walked toward the office. He silently followed them and passed a pile of wood that obscured him and when he emerged from behind it, he was human form again.  Meanwhile, the two kids were trying to pick Buzzsaw's office door lock.  They still weren't very good at it, but eventually they got the door, which badly squeaked, opened.  They walked in and immediately started rifling through drawers, and file cabinets trying to find money.  That's when they heard throat clearing as if someone was trying to get their attention.  They both stopped what they were doing and the slightly smaller one asked the other, "Hey Neil, did you hear something?  Like someone clearing his throat?"

            "Yeah Malcolm, I did. But I checked man... nobody's suppose to be here!'

            The two boys slowly turned around and saw Marty standing there with his arms crossed.  The door was still closed and both knew that they would be able to hear anyone who came in.   And yet . . .   

            "Gentleman," Marty said quietly, "Playtime's over.  It's time to go to the principal's office, which in your case is the police.  You are both under arrest. Now sit and I'll call the local constabulary."

            But the two kids just stood there having an attitude.  Malcolm gave him the finger, while Neil called Marty an extremely dirty name. Then they both laughed.  But Marty wasn't going to let them get away with their rude behavior.

            He growled, "I SAID SIT!" and then hissed.

            When the two kids heard him growl and hiss at them, their attitude changed quickly.  They became meek. They sat as Marty picked up the phone to call.  That's when he realized that he had no idea how to use the phone.  It had been centuries since he had used one.  He knew that if he asked them for help, he would get grief from them.  So to keep the situation under control, he decided to give them the stare. 

            "Gentlemen, it is obvious from your behavior that you are both in need of an attitude adjustment.  And I'm just the guy who can make it happen."

            "Yeah . . .  How?" asked Malcolm defiantly, getting over the initial shock of the growl and hiss.

            "By doing this . . . Mortal, look into my eyes!" 

            Marty began to stare into Malcolm's eyes.  Malcolm stared back at Marty.  He began to feel funny, as if the room was getting smaller and there was nobody there but him and the man with the strange eyes.   

            Then Marty stared at Neil and he was under.

            "Okay gentlemen, I've forgotten how to use the phone so I'm going to need your help.  I need you to call the police."  He pointed at Neil.  Neil got up, walked over to a desk, picked the receiver up and dialed the number.  He handed Marty the receiver and then sat.

            Marty heard ringing and then a voice came on saying, "Police, 25th Precinct, Officer Nixon speaking, may I help you?"

            Marty just stared at the receiver.

            "Hello?" Nixon repeated.

            "Hello?" Marty said back.

            "Hello sir, can I help you?"

            "Yes . . . yes, I would like to report that I caught two teenagers breaking into the lumberyard on . . . " He took the receiver off his ear and asked Malcolm, "What street is this?"

            "San Rosa Avenue," replied Malcolm.

            "San Rosa Avenue," said Marty into the receiver.

            "And the name of the establishment?"

            Marty pointed at Neil and asked, "What is the name of this place?"

            Neil answered and Marty said, "Cooder's Lumber Land."  Marty listened for a minute and then said, "And my name?  Oh, it's Martin Cunningham and I work for Simon and Simon."  'You're kidding right?' Marty heard the man say.  "No, I'm not kidding . . .  Really!" answered Marty as he could hear the man laughing. "Call them, they'll tell you.  I'll be here when you arrive."

            He hung up the receiver and then said to the two mortals, "Now we wait."

 

            It was a little after 12:00 a.m. when the phone rang.  AJ tossed in bed trying very hard to ignore it, but failed miserably.  He picked up the receiver and said into it, "It's your dime, but my time.  What do you want at this ungodly hour?  Who?  Nixon?  What?  When?  Yeah, he's mine . . .  I'll be right there!"  He jumped out of his bed, quickly put on his clothes and ran down the stairs.  He went over to Rick and began to shake him awake.  "Wake up.  Wake up!"

            "Ah Mom, can I stay in bed for a few minutes more . . . !" replied Rick sleepily to AJ's shaking.

            "Rick, wake up, it me!  Come on!"

            "Huh . . . what?" said a startled Rick.  "Is it time yet for me to bring Jamie to Marty?

            "Nope."

            By this time, Jamie had come over to watch AJ wake Rick.

            "Then what's wrong, AJ?" he asked.

            "Nothing. In fact, it's great.  Marty caught some kids breaking into Buzzsaw's!"

            "That's great A.J.!  First night, we get a hit!" said Rick as he quickly got up and put on his pants.

            "Yes, that is excellent.  I'm sure Mr. Cooder will be very pleased," replied Jamie.

            "Pleased???  He'll be thrilled beyond belief.  As will every other business in the block!  AJ, do you know what this means?  We are gonna get new clients . . . more money . . . "

            "Well, let's get there first!  I hope Marty didn't do anything . . . "

            "No AJ, he didn't do anything . . . " finished Jamie as he watched Rick and AJ get into the old truck.   They decided to take the truck because it seemed the easiest to use in the middle of the night.  Rick started the engine but It sputtered and spitted slightly until it got started.  The two rode in silence.  Each deep in their own thoughts.  AJ, still worried over Marty unusual powers, Rick thinking of all the success they were destined for.

            When they finally came to Buzzsaw's, the place was jumping with activity.  Cops were everywhere.  Among the cops standing around was good old Nixon.  Rick and AJ walked over to their second favorite flatfoot.  Rick put out his hand as Nixon took it.

            "Hey Nixon, howya doin'?" asked Rick.

            "I'm fine.  Hey, is this guy kidding?  Is he really yours?" asked an incredulous Nixon.

            "Yep, he's ours," replied Rick, "He's our cousin from . . .  Canada.  Came for a visit and decided to stay for a while. We invited him into the organization."

            "What organization?" kidded Nixon.  "Oh AJ, by the way, how was it at the Lake Topango?"

            "Paradise, just paradise," remarked AJ sarcastically.

            Rick gave his brother an annoyed look and continued his conversation with Nixon.  "The lake was fine.  The cabin was a little messy but . . . "

            "A little??? Rick, it was decrepit!  If it wasn't for Marty and Jamie, the trip would have been a complete and total disaster!"

            "Jamie?  Who's he?"

            "Oh, he's our other cousin . . .  you'll meet him later.  Where's Marty?"

            "He's with Lt. Brown," replied Nixon.  "Interesting cousin, you have."

            "You don't know how interesting he really is . . . " said AJ cryptically, as he started walking to where Town and Marty was standing.  Rick quickly followed.  When they got there, they heard Marty talking to Downtown Brown.  Nearby, two teenagers sat docilely.  They had the same glazed look those men up at the lake had.  It was obvious that Marty had given them the 'stare'.  AJ hoped he hadn't bitten them too, despite what Jamie had said. He walked closer to the kids and inspected their necks.  He gave a sigh of relief.  "No marks," he thought.  He walked back to Marty, Rick and Town.  Marty was gesturing to the A/C duct and telling Town how he followed the kids to the office and how he caught them rifling through Buzzsaw's stuff.  Of course, he didn't mention that he had been a wolf at the time or that he had given them the stare to make them more cooperative.  He just told Town what he thought he should hear.

            AJ and Rick listened as Marty told his slightly altered story.  Marty gave a wink to them when Town wasn't looking.

            "Marty, you did a good job catching those young crooks.  Buzzer's going to be really happy when he hears about it.  In fact, I bet the whole street's gonna be grateful!" crowed Rick.

            "He certainly did. Your cousin has been telling me how he caught these miscreants and convinced them to be cooperative.  How he did it is a mystery.  These kids are part of a gang that's been ripping off the whole neighborhood for the last four months. The gang is a tough bunch.  Tell me Marty, how did you get them cooperative?"

            "It's my little secret and one day, I'll tell you . . .  Let's just say I have a talent for changing people's minds."

            "Well, however you did it, these people around here are going to be pleased.  And excuse me, the owner of the place just walked in."

            AJ, Rick and Marty turned as Buzzer did indeed  walk in.  He had a concerned but a happy look on that bearded face of his.  As Town walked away, AJ went over to Marty and quietly said to him, "Marty, why didn't you use the communicator?"

            "I forgot it.  I didn't think that I would need it so soon.  It was a lucky break."

            "I thought you agreed we would keep in touch."

            "AJ, we did keep in touch.  I told that Nixon fellow to call you didn't I?  I also said I worked for you . . . though at first he didn't believe it.  In fact he laughed.  I thought that was rather rude."

            "Ah . . . never mind Nixon.  He doesn't have any manners," answered Rick.

            "And you do?" retorted AJ  "You have the manners of a. . . . "

            Just as AJ was about give his brother one of his famous digs, Town came over.

            "Ah AJ, Rick, can I talk to you?  Alone?"

            "Sure Town.  Marty do you mind?" answered AJ.

            "Of course not.  Chat away . . .   I'll talk to that nice man Nixon.  I have so much to say . . . "

            "NO. just be nice . . .  okay?"

            "Of course . . .  what else should I be?"

            Marty started walking toward Nixon who just happened to be standing near Rick's truck.

            "Oh and Cunningham, I want you to come to my office tomorrow to make a statement"

            Marty stopped, turned around and in his most charming manner said, "Of course, Lt. Brown.  But could we make it for the day after tomorrow?  I have a previous engagement and me never like to break a date with a lady.  You understand, don't you?"

            "Yeah, sure . . .  I understand.  But the day after you and the Simons are to come in and make statements.  Okay?"

            Marty continued to walk to the truck and finally stopped next to it and leaned against it.

            When Marty was far enough from earshot, Town turned his attention to the Simons, "Okay, what's going on?  What are you guys involved in?"

            "What do you mean Towner?" asked AJ, wondering what Town was talking about.

            "What I"m talking about is that I got a very strange phone call from Sheriff Hardison of Lake Topango.  I wasn't there to take it, so he left a message.  He wanted to know about you two.  However, when I called him back, he denied he ever called me.  He even said he didn't even know who you were.  Now I know Nixon tends to be stupid sometimes, but I think he can take a fairly accurate message. So what my question is, 'What are you two involved in and whatever it is, I want you to knock it off!'"

            "And our answer to you is nothing," AJ lied. "We are involved in nothing.  Why this Sheriff Hardison would call you about us and then say he didn't is beyond us! Maybe he's a little weird.  You know those people from small towns . . .    Well, we're going home.  We're all kind of tired from the trip.  See you later Town!"  AJ and Rick walked over to Marty, got into the truck with him and started the drive home. 

 

            As they drove Marty told them how he caught the two kids.  But AJ had to interrupt him.

            "Marty, Town got a phone call from Hardison.  He asked about us.  But luckily Town wasn't there for it.  When he called him back, the sheriff said he didn't know what he was talking about!  You got to him before he was able to find out anything.  We were lucky!"

            "Yes we were.  See I told you there would be no problems.  My stare never fails!  However, I didn't get anything to eat.  Do you mind if we stop and I went hunting?"

            "Ah, sure Marty," said AJ, not sure that he wanted to see a repeat performance of  Marty having dinner.

             Marty must have sensed AJ's nervousness became he said to him, "Don't worry AJ. You and Rick just sit in the truck and I'll go get dinner.  Okay?"

            "Yeah, well okay," said AJ reluctantly.  Just knowing that Marty was going to 'it' was very unnerving.  "Oh and before you go, I have something to tell you.  Rick and I finally figured out a way to tell Mom."

            "Yes, I know.  I picked it up when the two of you came to Cooder's.  That's why I told Lt. Brown that I had a date with a lady."

            "You knew all along??  But how??" asked AJ

            "I read Rick's mind.  Ah sorry Rick, but it was just screaming at me.  I could sense excitement when you came in.  You were dying to tell me."

            "Well, my brother has a tendency to get excited over some of his harebrained schemes and Marty, this is one of them," replied AJ, sarcastically.

            "Well, I don't think it's harebrained at all, I think it's a wonderful idea!" 

            When Marty said that, Rick gave AJ a smug look of 'See . . . , I told you it was a great idea!'

            "However," continued the vampire, "Wine will never do.  For something like this, you need Saurian Brandy.  It's the drink of the gods.  I guarantee you, after just one drink your mother will be very happy.  After two, she won't care about anything!"

            "Thanks Marty, but we'll stick to wine for now."  I think a nice Chablis should do the trick," said AJ

            "Okay, but you and your brother must try this stuff.  I promise you, after you drink this brandy, you'll never want to go back to the mundane.  I just love drinking it!"

            "Hold it!  I thought vampires couldn't drink wine," questioned Rick.

              "We can't. Unless of course it's mixed with a little blood.  Then we can drink it and I've become very drunk. Jamie can pick up some from the ship tomorrow."

            "Great!," replied Rick to his request.

            "Now, I must go and hunt," said the vampire as he got out of the truck and started walking west.

            "But Marty, there's nobody out here, the street is deserted," observed AJ

            "True, but just two blocks away is my dinner.  Two mortals are coming this way.  You can't hear them yet, but I can.  So, please excuse me, I'll be back in a little while.  Wait for me here,"

            Marty started walking down the block as the brothers began to hear the unmistakable sound of a garbage truck coming down the street.  Suddenly, the noise stopped.  Three minutes, then five minutes passed and still there was no sound.  Not even the familiar sound of the crusher.  There was total silence.  Then the noise started again.  Rick was the first to spot Marty coming back.

            "He's comin'," said the cowboy, pointing westward.  AJ turned and then saw Marty walking down the street.  He was wearing sunglasses, even though it was the dead of night.  When he came closer, they could see dry blood crusted at the corners of his mouth.

            "Hi!  Ah, dinner was delicious, I throughly enjoyed it.   But  I think it's time to go. It's almost daylight and we must get to your house because if I don't . . . " Marty trailed off as he got into the truck and sat next to AJ.

            "Okay, no problem," answered Rick who then revved up the engine of the PowerWagon and took off like a bat out of hell.  They drove home in fifteen minutes as  AJ yelled all the way at his brother 'to please slow down!'."  But Marty enjoyed the drive immensely. When they finally got to AJ's home, Marty got out of the truck.  He studied AJ's house by the canal and then said, "I like it.  It has character.  I thought it would be like all those other houses, all looking the same.  But yours is different.  Yes, I definitely like it.  And I think the boat gives it a nice touch!"

            "Thanks, but the boat is not part of the decor.  That monstrosity belongs to Rick and when Rick finds a place for it, he is definitely getting it out of here!  R-r-ight R-r-ick," stated AJ firmly.

            "Hey, you know most of the marinas are filled!" protested Rick vehemently.

            "For three years?"  answered AJ just as vehemently.

            "Ah, guys, can we go in?  The sun is just coming over the rim and I think I'm beginning to smoke and not a cigarette either!"  asked Marty.

            AJ and Rick turned around and saw that indeed that smoke was already coming out of his clothes. 

            "Uh oh, c'mon!" yelled AJ as he started running across the bridge with Rick, and Marty following.  When they finally got inside, Marty was even more impressed. 

            "Nice decor, AJ  I like the way you decorated it.  For a mortal, you've got great taste!"

            "Thanks, but I can't take all the credit.  Mom helped.  She's got great taste.  In fact, she . . . "

            "Ah, AJ,"  interrupted Marty, "You can tell me about your mother later. Right now, can you please show me where I can get away from the sun's rays and rest?"

            "Oh, of course, sorry.  Jamie, show Marty to the bedroom you prepared for him."

            "Yes AJ.  And welcome back Martin," replied the android, as he started walking the stairs to the guest bedroom.  Marty, AJ and Rick followed.  When they got to the bedroom, Jamie had transformed it.  The windows were covered by thick blankets and the mirror was covered with a sheet.

            "It's fine.  And I'm glad to be here. Thanks," said Marty to his first mate.

            "You're welcome. Now tomorrow, if AJ permits it, I would like to paint the windows black.  It would much be better than the blankets.  When we move, I will remove the paint.  Is it all right, AJ?"

            "Sure, it's all right.  Just as long as you remember to remove the paint."

            "Don't worry, when Jamie says he's going to do something, he does it.   Remember, he's an android, he's incapable of lying or cheating   And he always, and I mean always, keeps a promise.  Now if you don't mind, I think I better get to bed!"

            "Oh okay, well good night.  Or is it good morning?" asked AJ

            "It's both!  May you both rest well!"

            "The same to you Marty!" said AJ and Rick in unison.

            Marty went to the bed, took off his boots, lay on it and closed his eyes.  When they saw that he was safely resting, AJ and Rick walked out of the room.  AJ went to the master bedroom, then stopped and said, "Well Rick, it's been an interesting two days and nights.  And I got a feeling it's gonna get more interesting as we go along."

            "You ain't kidding bro!  It's going to be a blast!" 

            AJ walked into his bedroom as Rick went down the stairs.  He went over to the couch and flopped onto it; in twenty minutes he was fast asleep.

 

            AJ didn't get up until 10:00 a.m.  He had decided to take the day off to go shopping for the ingredients he would need for the special dinner.  He figured he should call his mother before he started shopping, just to confirm that she would come.  AJ picked up the phone and called her.  The phone rang and a cheery woman's voice answered, "Hello?"

            "Hi Mom, it's AJ."

            "Hello darling.  Where are you calling from?  The cabin?"

            "No Mom, I'm calling from my house.  We came back early.  You should have seen the place, it was a total disaster!  I nagged Rick until I got him to leave.  Anyway, I called to see if you can come to dinner tonight!  I'm making your favorite!  Please say yes!"

            "Oh honey, I would love to come!  What time?"

            "When the sun goes down.  I mean, around 8:00."

            "Why so late dear?"

            "I thought a late dinner would be nice.

            "Okay, I'll be there.  Bye, honey"

            "Bye Mom, see you then!"  AJ hung up the phone and sighed.  He hated lying to her, but he needed to have the dinner after sunset.  He then went and took a shower.  After that, he got dressed in a red shirt with little critters sown on it and blue cotton pants. He went over to Marty's room to check on him.  He opened the door a crack and saw Marty resting on the bed; while Jamie stood in the corner with his eyes closed.  He then closed the door and went down the stairs to make breakfast.  Rick was still asleep on the coach, snoring away.  And now, he could hear Jamie's even steps upstairs.  AJ thought, "He must have turned himself on after I checked Marty."  He  then heard Jamie coming down the stairs.

            "Good morning, Jamie," said AJ, as Jamie crossed over to the small kitchen and sat on one of the stools.

            "Good morning, AJ  Did you sleep all right?"

            "Yeah, oddly enough, I did.  I thought I'd be restless, worrying about how to tell Mom about you and Marty."

            "Martin knew that you would be worried, so he put a sleep spell on you before he went to rest.  I hope you are not angry at him for doing it."

            "He did that?  Can he actually put people to sleep?"

            "Oh yes!  It is among his many powers!  What are you going to do today?"

            "Oh, I'm going shopping for tonight," replied AJ.

            "May I go with you?" asked Jamie.

            "No, you better stay here with Rick.  Keep him company."

            "Very well, I will stay with Rick and keep him company."

            AJ smiled at Jamie's precise way of talking.  He then walked over to the kitchen counter, took his car keys and went to go shopping.  Jamie was now alone with a sleeping Rick. He walked over to the bookshelf and noticed that AJ had a set of encyclopedias and decided to read them, starting with A.  He picked up the book, found a seat and started reading.

 

            It was 11:30 a.m. when Rick finally woke up.  He stretched and turned, trying to get his battered body going.  He was about to get off the couch when he heard a voice say, "Good Morning Rick."  Rick turned and saw Jamie sitting there, with a book in his lap. 

            "Mornin' Jamie, how long have you been sitting there?"

            "Since 9:00 a.m.  I was reading the encyclopedias.  I am now up to Y.  Soon, I will read Z and I will know all the knowledge of your people.  It is quite fascinating.  Of course, some of it is wrong.  Especially, what they say about space.  It is not like they say it is!"

            "Well, we're still learning about it," replied Rick

            "Do you wish me to make you breakfast?" asked Jamie.

            "Nah., I'd rather just have a cup of coffee.  Did AJ make any?"

            "I do not know.  What would it look like?"

            "Never mind, he did."  Rick got up and walked over to the coffee maker, poured himself a cup and then drank it.  Jamie watched in fascination as Rick drank the coffee.

            "Hey Jamie, would you like a cup?"

            "Yes, please, I wish to analyze it."

            Rick went over to the coffee pot and poured Jamie a cup.

            "How do you want it?  Black, or with sugar and milk?"

            "I would like it the same way you drank it," answered Jamie.

            "Okay, black it is!"

             Rick walked over to Jamie and handed him the very hot coffee. 

            "Oh, and be careful, it's very . . . " 

            But it was too late, Jamie drank the coffee in one gulp.  Rick looked at him, surprised. 

            "Jamie, you just drank very hot coffee!  Are you all right??"

            "Yes, of course.  Hot and cold does not affect me."

            "Well, I'm glad about that!  Where's AJ?"

            "He went shopping for tonight."

            "Well then, since he's not here, what would you like to do?"

            "I would like to . . . "

            But Jamie never finished his sentence.  Just then, there was frantic knocking at the door.  Rick walked to the door and opened it.  Standing there, looking very angry, was Mr. Gorman.  His left arm was in a sling and he had a bandage on his forehead.  In his right hand was a huge bone. 

            "Does this belong to that flea-bitten mongrel of yours?" snarled Mr. Gorman.

            "Good morning, Mr. Gorman," said Rick politely.

            "That excuse for a dog left this in my yard the day before you left on your vacation.  I tripped over it and broke my arm, not to mention I cut my forehead when I fell!"  Gorman pointed to the bandage on his head.  Then he started yelling at Jamie, thinking that he was AJ.

            "Simon, you tell that brother of yours to keep that . . . hey, you got a mustache!  When did you get that thing?"

            "Ah, Mr. Gorman, that's not my . . . "  said Rick, trying to explain to Gorman.  But of course, Gorman was not listening.

            "As I was saying.  Simon, tell that goddamn, lazy, good-for-nothing brother of yours to keep that goddamn lazy, good-for-nothing dog out my goddamn yard!  Otherwise, I'm gonna shoot him!  You understand???"

            "Yes, I understand," replied Jamie.  "Rick should keep his goddamn, lazy, good- for-nothing dog out your goddamn yard!  Otherwise, you're gonna shoot him!" repeated the android.

            "Hey, are you making fun of me?" replied an incensed Gorman.

            "Of course not sir!  I was just repeating your instructions so that my memory chip could record it."

            "Your memory chip??  I knew it!  You've finally cracked!  You've become just as nutty as your brother!"  Gorman snarled again and walked out.  Meanwhile, Rick was starting to laugh, "Ha, Ha, Ha!!!" 

            "Rick Simon, is everything all right???"

            "Everything is fine.  In fact, you made my day!  Jamie, I got a feeling you and I are gonna be great pals!"

            "We are?"

            "Yeah!  Let me take a shower and then you and I are going shopping at Surplus Sammy's!  Boy,  I can't wait to tell AJ about you and Gorman!"  Rick laughed some more as he walked up the stairs to take the shower.  Jamie could still hear him laughing his head off in the shower.

 

            AJ shopped for the things he would need to create the gourmet meal he was planning.  He hoped that things would go well that night and Mom would accept and like Marty and Jamie.  He wondered what she would say when she found out what Marty was.  He hoped that she wouldn't go for a wooden stake.  Then he wondered what her reaction would be when she saw Jamie.  It was so spooky how he looked so much like his father.  Even the color of his eyes was the same.  He just hoped she didn't get a heart attack over the shock of meeting him.  He came home and walked into a silent house.  He called out for his brother, but received no answer.  Then he called for Jamie.  No answer either.  The only one who answered was Marlowe.  The jumped up at him and AJ patted him.           "Hmm, perhaps they're out on the 'THE HOLE IN THE WATER'.  He walked out of the house, and walked to the boat.  He called out to them, but there was no answer.

            "Where the hell could those two be?  I told Jamie to stick with Rick.  Unless, Rick went somewhere and forgot to leave a message!  Typical Rick!"  AJ was angry, but he decided to take care of that little problem later.  Now, he had to start dinner.  It was already four p.m. and time was moving.  He started by preparing the duck.  He cleaned and seasoned it.  He stuffed it and then put the orange sauce on top.  It was already six when he put the duck in the oven to start cooking.  Then he started on the dessert, Cherries Jubilee.   AJ hoped that this dinner would be the start of something big.  As he was thinking about the future, Rick returned with Jamie.  Rick slammed shut  the sliding door. 

            "Hey AJ, we're back!  You've started dinner already?"

            "Yes Rick, I've already started dinner!  Where have you two been?"

            "Oh, We went shopping at Surplus Sammy's.  You should see some of the great stuff I bought Jamie!"

            "Oh great, you could have at least left a message.  Or at least told me you were planning to go!"  Jamie, why did you go with him?  I told you to stay here!"

            "No, AJ, you did not.  What you said was, 'stay with Rick.'  I stood with Rick.  Would you like me to play back what you said?" answered Jamie to AJ's angry question.

            "Playback?  What are you talking about?" asked AJ, not sure what he had just heard.

             "I will show you."  He twisted his right ear and pushed his nose.  He then opened his mouth and AJ's voice came on.  It was the complete conversation they had and sure enough, AJ  had said, 'stay with Rick'.  AJ turned red with embarrassment as Rick started laughing. 

            "Oh!!" said AJ in disgust.  "Never mind!  I'm already nervous as it is about this dinner.  I don't need you two giving me more problems!  Stay here and don't go out any more today!  Okay Rick?  Okay Jamie?"

            ":Yes AJ said the two of them in unison.  Jamie didn't say anything for a few minutes and then he said, "AJ may I help?"

            "You want to help Jamie?"

            "Yes, I would like to.  A good houseguest always helps."

            "Well, in that case, you can set the table.  Okay?"

            "All right AJ." 

            Jamie went over to the table and began to put out the dishes.  While he was doing that, AJ started on the vegetables which would be served with the duck.  He had cut them up in julienne style and now was steaming them until they were crisp-tender.  Rick however, didn't help at all.  Instead, he kicked off his boots and flopped on the couch.  AJ stopped what he was doing and said, "Rick, get off the couch and help Jamie!" 

            "But AJ, he practically has everything done!  He's real fast!  Besides, I'm tired!"

            "Rick!  How could you be tired?  You slept late and all you did was shop at Sammy's.  By the way . . .  how did you pay for the clothes?"

            "Oh, with your credit card."

            "My credit card???  Oh Rick . . .   Never mind! Just help Jamie!"

            "But I'm still tired.  It was a long trip!"

            "Then how come I'm not tired?  Now get off your butt and help Jamie!  Or at least be good company!"

            Rick mumbled something as he got up.  He decided to turn on the T.V.   But before he could reach for the remote, AJ said, "And no T.V.!  I don't want you polluting Jamie's mind with the crap you watch.  Later, if he wants to, he can watch the news or some public TV  shows, but not now!  Mom will be here soon and Marty should be up in a little while."

            "In exactly fifteen minutes!" announced Jamie.

            "Okay, it is now 6:45.  Marty will be up at 7:00 and Mom arrives at 8:00 p.m..  Hopefully, we will get through this night without any serious problems. . . . But if you know any prayers I suggest you say them!"  said an extremely nervous AJ.