Transcribed by: Michelle Furnas

Disclaimer: I have NO claim to the characters NOR am I associated in any way to the show. The characters were created by Stephen J. Cannell and belong to him and Columbia Tristar Television Distribution.

This is a transcript of Man in a Glass House, originally aired September 25, 1983.

Theme and credits roll

Scene opens on a man in a greenhouse tending flowers. Another man enters the greenhouse.

SECOND MAN: Mr. Cadillac, it's time to go sir.

We see a limosine pulling out of a gate. There's a car parked across the street.

MAN IN CAR: Okay there he goes. It looks like the first right. Do it after the turn.

The car pulls out and chases the limosine. It cuts in front of the limo forcing it to stop. The men get out of the car with guns and break out the driver's side window taking the driver's gun from him. One of the thugs pulls open the back door.

THUG ONE: Come on, you've got an appointment, Mr. Cadillac.

Mr. Cadillac is pushed into the backseat of the car where a man is waiting for him.

CADILLAC: Well, Louie, you finally made a big time mistake. This is real dumb.

Thug two shoots out the tires on the limo.

LOUIE: Maybe it's the books I been readin' (he shoves a book at Cadillac called "Without Sin"--Cadillac's picture is on the front of the book)

Change scene to Hardcastle in a bookstore looking at a display of that exact book. He picks up a copy.

HARDCASTLE: Hey, Carlton look at this.

CARLTON: (walks over)What do ya got, Milt? The Lone Ranger comics are over there.

HARDCASTLE: (waves him off and reads from the jacket of the book)One man's struggle to achieve the American dream. A heartwarming journey to the ghettos of New York to a mansion in California with stops at Hollywood then Pennslyvania Avenue. They left out the stops at Terminal Island and San Quentin.

CARLTON: (taking book)Wait a minute, what is this a joke? This guy used to be a killer. Hey, didn't you send this guy up a couple of times?

HARDCASTLE: Yeah

CARLTON: Didn't he even threaten to kill you once?

HARDCASTLE: Yep

CARLTON: And he wrote a book?

HARDCASTLE: Yep

CARLTON: (shakes head and sets the book back down)Well maybe you're in it, huh. Check the index.

HARDCASTLE: (picks up book)Let's see...Hayworth, Rita; Har, Hardy, Oliver, Hendrix, Jimi...

CARLTON: Eh, you missed it.

HARDCASTLE: Oh yeah...Hardcastle, Milton...7, 12, 16, 118, 130, 150, 162....

CARLTON: He didn't forget you, that's for sure.

HARDCASTLE: Forget me? I'm all through this piece of thing(not sure of the word). (flips pages) 118...

CARLTON: Black hat on the bench...Milton C. Hardcastle, man without honor.

HARDCASTLE: Do you mind? (putting the book on the counter)Miss I'd like to buy a copy of that...uh....(pulls out a bill and throws it on top of the book)

STORECLERK: Um, it's eighteen dollars

HARDCASTLE: Eighteen dollars? Eighteen dollars for a book of fables.

STORECLERK: Ooh, I just finished it. It's wonderful. It points fingers at the mob. It tells it all--crooked cops, bad judges. They're selling like crazy.

CARLTON: Crooked cops? (picks up a copy)That lowlife says there are crooked cops in here? I want one.

STORECLERK: Oh, well okay, that's eighteen dollars.

CARLTON: (points at Hardcastle)He'll pay.

The two walk out of the store going through their purchases.

CARLTON: See ya later, Milt.

HARDCASTLE: (distracted)Yeah, yeah.

Hardcastle gets into his truck and pulls out. He picks the book back up scanning it some more.

HARDCASTLE: (reading from book)Hardcastle, an unprincipled liar who bends the truth and charges blindly into anything in his path.

The Judge plows right into the back of a parked police car.

OFFICER: Okay Pops, what's your excuse. Oh I'm sorry Judge. I didn't recognize you.

HARDCASTLE: Okay Pops? Is that the way the department told you to talk to a citizen in the street? What happened to 'Get out of the car, sir'?

OFFICER: Get out of the car, sir. (Hardcastle hands him his wallet) Oh that's okay, Judge, I'm not gonna write you up.

HARDCASTLE: Well, of course you're gonna write me up. I just rear-ended you, didn't I? How are you gonna explain what happened to your car to the motor pool Sargeant if you don't write me up? Now go on, write me up.

OFFICER: Thank you, sir.

Change scene to Gulls Way where Mark is lounging in the sun in the grass giving the hedges a half-hearted trim. He hears a car pull up and jumps to his feet and sees Hardcastle brought home in a squad car.

MARK: Thanks for bringing him home, Officer. (putting his shirt back on)What was it this time, huh? Was he playing hookey or was he throwing rocks at cars again?

HARDCASTLE: (not amused)Did you weed the rose garden yet? Because if you didn't, you better get at it and quit buggin' me.

OFFICER: He's having a bad day of it, I think.

MARK: Aw it's no sweat. I'll let him pound his gavel for awhile, give him his strained carrots and put him to bed early.

Change scene to the Judge on the phone in his office. Mark walks in.

HARDCASTLE: (On phone)Did you read this piece of trash Cadillac published? Yeah....well he calls me a liar in here, Syd. That's a libelous statement, isn't it? I'm gonna sue this Jerome(?) Well, then read it and call me back when you finish.(hangs up the phone)

MARK: (picks up and reads from book)A short, squatty man with a simian face. Judge Hardcastle looked like an evil artist's rendition of Satan in black, glowering over the mahogany desk in courtroom six.

HARDCASTLE: (taking the book away from him)Do you wanna get back to your weeds, boy?

MARK: Well that's a pretty fair description if you want my opinion, Judge. I mean I've been in your courtroom twice, and you do look kinda apelike in your robes glaring down fingering you lip the way you do. (grabs the book back) Who wrote that? I'd like to get a copy. (looks at the book and then back up at the Judge in shock) Joe Cadillac?

HARDCASTLE: Um hmm

MARK: The mobster?

HARDCASTLE: Yep

MARK: You're gonna sue a guy who used to run the mob?

HARDCASTLE: Right

MARK: You been down at the pond eatin' goldfish? This guys will kill you, Judge.

HARDCASTLE: (takes book back and moved to the desk)You're tired of weeding, huh? You been buggin' me about our next case. Okay, this guy has been in my file a long time. He just moved himself to the top of the heap. We're gonna get him.

MARK: Why? Why? Just because he called you a donkey? Judge, you are a donkey. You can't sue a guy for telling the truth.

HARDCASTLE: He called me an ape. A short ape. Aside from that he was a little hard on his strings section.

MARK: Strings section?

HARDCASTLE: You've heard of the boys with the violin cases? (pushes his nose to the side) Sammy Aloe and Nate Reams. They didn't come out so good in this book. That tell ya anything?

MARK: Doesn't tell me a thing.

HARDCASTLE: Well that's because you don't know these guys. Now Cadillac is a survivor. He's not gonna write a book like this dumping on his old pals unless he's got heavy insurance. Now I figured I'd never get this guy because he's supposed to be retired out in his backyard growing baby tomotoes or something. But all of a sudden this book comes out and I'm sayin' 'hey wait a minute maybe he's got some evidence on the old chowder and violin society stashed away in a closet in his house someplace, huh. A few little facts I could use in court.' There's still a way to collect this slob.

MARK: Uh, you know, Sara has a lot of chores for me to do, and I really have been slow with that weeding project. I ought to get at it.

HARDCASTLE: Aw now don't tell me you're scared of this old man. Mob guys put there pants on same as anybody else--one leg at a time.

MARK: No they don't. I know. I've been in prison. They hold the pants in front of them and jump in, and the real mean ones do it blindfolded.

HARDCASTLE: We're leavin' in five minute.

Change scene. The car from the beginning pulls up to a old house out in the middle of nowhere. Armed guards patrol the area. Joe Cadillac gets out of the car and goes inside where some of his old friends are waiting. He nods respectfully at the one sitting down.

CADILLAC: You know I figured I'd hear from you guys.

MOB GUY ONE(NATE): But who would have thought that you'd write a book. Bring up all those homicides nobody talks about no more

CADILLAC: .For years I been getting the heat in the newspapers. The whole country thinks that I'm a bum. I haven't got many years. I'm a pretty nice guy, huh? I wanna clear up my name.

MOB GUY ONE(NATE): Then you're a dead man, Joe

CADILLAC: I don't think so, Nate. I got records of things that we all did together. Hey Sam, you remember that telephone conversation we had before Hoffa disappeared? I got a recording of that. Still I got stuff on Mike here, Nate, I didn't put in my book, but if anything happens to me it'll get to the Attorney General. You wanna take me back to my driver? I guess he's got the tire fixed by now, huh?

SAM: You hear all of that, Mr. Visarro?

VISARRO: Yeah, I heard it.

SAM: Get the records, the tapes, whatever else he's got on us and then kill him.

VISARRO: Okay.

Change scene. Joe Cadillac is back in his greenhouse. He makes a phone call.

CADILLAC: Let me talk to Father Arkaya(not sure of spelling). This is Joe Cadillac.

FATHER ARKAYA: How ya doin', Pop?

CADILLAC: Not so good. I got trouble all over the book, son. I just called to let ya know if I drop out of site, don't worry about it.

FATHER ARKAYA: Listen Dad, how can I help you?

CADILLAC: I'm okay. I know how to take care of myself. Just say a rosery for me, huh. I got to get going now. I'll be in touch.

Change scene. Mark's driving the Coyote. He pulls into a driveway across from Joe Cadillac's estate. There are kids playing in the yard.

MARK: (to a teenage girl admiring the car)Hi.

GIRL: (still staring at the car)Hi.

Mark goes across the street and watches from the gate as the limosine is being loaded with bags. He goes back to the Coyote where a bunch of kids are gathered.

MARK: Listen, I need to get to a phone. Any of you kids live around here?

GIRL: Mrs. Marshall, she lives over there. She's got a phone out by her pool. You can use it I guess. They're out of town.

MARK: She wouldn't mind?

GIRL: No, she's real nice.

Mark heads for the back of the hose moving one of the kids off the car. He hops the fence and heads for the phone. We see a Doberman laying in a lawn chair nearby. Mark sits down, picks up the phone and dials 911.

RECORDING: Thank you for dialing 911. This is the police emergency line. All our lines are busy now. Please hold, your call will be answered in order.

Mark spots the dog which is growling at him.

MARK: Nice doggie...Easy...(he eases out of the chair and begins backing up slowly)...Okay...(he says something here I can't catch and starts to run for the fence)

Mark makes it over the fence still clutching the phone in his hand. He checks the line and heads back around to the front of the house. He finds all the kids in his car.

MARK: What are you doing? No, no, come on little kids. Come on little boy, come on, you gotta get out of there. You can't be in there. Everybody out. That's it.

OPERATOR: Police Department. May I help you?

MARK: Yes, yes I'm here.

OPERATOR: Police Department. May I help you?

MARK: Well, I'm uh I have a porta phone, ma'am. I'm a little ways away from the transmitter. Listen, I need to get Judge Hardcastle. He's with a Lt. Carlton down there at police headquarters. He's...

OPERATOR: Is anyone on this line?

MARK: Here(hands phone to girl) give this back to Mrs. Marshall.

Mark drives away following the limosine.

LIMO DRIVER: Some kind of red car back there. Seems to be following us. It's okay. It turned off.

Mark pulls off on a parallel road running alonside the limo. Then he pulls back hiding three cars behind it. When the limo stops at a red light, Mark pulls into a parking lot to use the pay phone.

MARK: Come on (digging for change)

RECORDING: This is the police emergency line. All our lines are busy now. Please hold.

MARK: I can't wait. No no don't give me anymore Sinatra. Please. Please. I gotta go. (The light turns green. He hangs up the phone. A crowd has gathered around the Coyote) Excuse me, excuse me. I have to go. I'm sorry. I have to go. I'm sorry.

Mark follows the limo to another red light. He pulls into another parking lot with a payphone. There's a motorcycle cop sitting behind a photo stand.

MARK: Officer, officer, oh am I glad to see you.

COP: You better get that thing outta handicap parking, buddy.

MARK: Officer, I need to get in touch with Judge Hardcastle. He's in Lt. Carlton's office downtown. It's a police emergency.

COP: Just who the heck are you, buddy?

MARK: Uh well my name'sMark McCormick. See now I'm on a special assignment for Judge Hardcastle. See I'm tailing that limo right there. Joe Cadillac is in it with some incriminating files. Listen, I've really got to go. Would you do me a favor? Stay behind me, radio Judge Hardcastle and Inspector Rumene(didn't catch the name). Tell 'em, tell 'em it's Mark McCormick. I gotta stay on that limo.

COP: Hey look. I'll do it. I'll give it a shot this time, but if he tells me he doesn't know you, I'm pulling you right over.

MARK: Okay, thanks.

The light has turned green. Mark and the motorcycle cop pull into traffic behind the limo.

LIMO DRIVER: We got that red hotrod back there again, Mr. Cadillac.

CADILLAC: We've gotta get that stuff to the safe deposit boxes. Lose 'em.

The limo makes a sharp turn trying to lose Mark. A lot of dust is kicked up. Mark keeps following. The motorcycle cop radios in the pursuit. Change scene to Hardcastle and Carlton leaving the police station and getting into a police cruiser to join the pursuit.

HARDCASTLE: If he's on Olympic, he's headin' this way. We can intercept.

CARLTON: McCormick? Isn't that the kid, the ex-con you're supposed to be looking after?

HARDCASTLE: Yeah, I'll tell you about it later. Will ya get outta here now!

Scene changes back to the pursuit. The chase lasts for a bit, and then the limo is finally stopped by Hardcastle and Carlton.

CARLTON: (to driver)All right, get out.

HARDCASTLE: Hello Joe, remember my short, squat, simian face.

CADILLAC: You got no probable cause to stop me.

MARK: He's got some boxes in the trunk of the car. Might be what you're looking for.

HARDCASTLE: (to Mark)Why didn't ya call me before this turned into a chase?

MARK: Call you?

HARDCASTLE: He's already all shook up. He's talking about probable cause now.

MARK: Judge I tried calling ya. Everytime I dialled 911 I got a Frank Sinatra concert.

HARDCASTLE: (to Carlton)Listen, do this right, will ya? Slow. Make sure you got good PC, okay?.

CARLTON: Yes, Milton, I'll do it. (to the driver)Let me see your license.

HARDCASTLE: Oh the man's carrying a gun here, Lt.

MARK: I don't believe it.

HARDCASTLE: You got a permit for the gun? If you haven't, it's a misdemeaner. We get to search the car.

LIMO DRIVER: Of course I've got a permit.

HARDCASTLE: Oh this permit's expired, David. Almost a week ago. I know that's technical, but then that's what the law's all about.

CADILLAC: If you try and make that stand up in court, I'll kick your brains in.

CARLTON: (to Hardcastle) Come here (they move a short distance away and Mark joins them) It is pretty thin, Milton.

HARDCASTLE: I know that, but it'll hold long enough for us to impound the car, won't it? Then we can find a friendly judge who'll give us some room for search.

CARLTON: All right, I'll call in and find a hook, but look, we can't go through the car. Cadillac will call it illegal search and seizure. And you know if we find anything, you know it will be inadmissable in court.

HARDCASTLE: I know. (Carlton walks away) (to McCormick) Well, what do you think? Can that old guy jump through his pants blindfolded?

MARK: I don't know about this, Judge. I really don't.

HARDCASTLE: Wanna go for ten?

MARK: Not now.

HARDCASTLE: Come on.

MARK: Not now.

HARDCASTLE: What are you chicken? (they compare their heartrates)

MARK: uh, 96 (the Judge hands over ten bucks)

Change scene to Visarro and another thug sitting in a van outside a church.

THUG: You gonna snatch a priest?

VISARRO: I gotta find some leverage. This guy's not a priest to me. He's Joe Cadillac's son.

THUG: Yeah, but a priest?

VISARRO: I got no religion. To me this is just a guy that dresses funny. (Father Arkaya leaves the church and walks by the van. The side door is open. He glances in and Visarro comes up behing him with a gun.) Shut up and get in.

Change scene to the police station.

CARLTON: We drew Judge Hightower.

HARDCASTLE: Hightower? Oh that's great. He can never make up his mind. He's gonna be up all night trying to figure out if whether or not we can search that car.

CARLTON: We got the paperwork over to him already, but he said he can't get to it until after the opera tonight. He's got tickets to La Boheme.

MARK: Well he sounds like a real street level kind of guy. No trouble with old Judge Hightower huh?

HARDCASTLE: All right, I guess it'll keep 'til morning. The car's locked up safe in the police impound. I'll call ya tomorrow.

CARLTON: Right.

Hardcastle and McCormick leave the police station in the Coyote.

HARDCASTLE: Boxes in the trunk of the car. I'd sure like to know what in that trunk.

MARK: Maybe it's his old Tommy Dorsey records.

HARDCASTLE: It's records all right. Not some guy blowin' a trombone.

MARK: Did you really attack him in the park like he said?

HARDCASTLE: I was in a restaurant having dinner with my wife. This was in 1953. And he came in and started calling me names. Called me a coward. Called me a liar. Then he started insultin' my wife. So I said, 'Hold it, listen, I'm gonna take my wife home, and I'll come back here, and I'm gonna meet you in that little park across the street. That's if you got the guts to show up'.

MARK: You called him out?

HARDCASTLE: Yeah I figured it was all off the record. So I came back and I met him and he's got three guys with him, but I'll say this for him, he didn't let them jump in.

MARK: Aw come on, you've got forty pounds on that guy. Gimme a break.

HARDCASTLE: He was a golden gloves champion when he was a kid, and he was still in shape then.

MARK: Oh I see, I see. Well, who won?

HARDCASTLE: Aw nobody won. You don't win when you're doing dumb stuff like that. But he could duke it up all right. So when it was all over we were both hurtin'. And I felt stupid, but I grew up on a farm and back where I come from, nobody calls you a liar and a coward and insults your wife and gets away with it. I couldn't let it stand.

MARK: You respect him, don't you?

HARDCASTLE: Sure I respect him. I respect rattlesnakes, and I respect sharks.

MARK: You're something else, Milt. No doubt about it.

HARDCASTLE: Sure I am

As they pull up to the gate, there's a car parked in front of it. Joe Cadillac's driver who we now know his name is David approaches the Coyote.

DAVID: Mr. Cadillac wants to talk to you.

HARDCASTLE: Are you still packing that gun, Davey? (David shows that he's unarmed so Hardcastle uses his remote to open the gate.) I'll follow you.

MARK: We got 'em on the run.

HARDCASTLE: It kinda looks that way.

Both cars pull up to the house, park. Mark and the Judge make it out of the Coyote first.

SARA: (has Cadillac's book in her hands) Judge, a man's been calling you all day. That terrible Mr. Cadillac who wrote this book. (the Judge points in Cadillac's direction and Sara let's him have it.) How could you write such things? Such lies? Why Judge Hardcastle never did any of the things you say he did.

HARDCASTLE: It's all right, Sara. He's not gonna print a retraction so we're just gonna have to sue him. (to Cadillac) I'm gonna sue you right down to your geriatric support socks.

CADILLAC: I need to talk to you. In private.

HARDCASTLE: Okay.

MARK: (to Davey when he moves to follow his boss) Why don't you wait outside, Davey. We're trying to keep the dirt out of the entry hall.

SARA: You tell him, Mark.

HARDCASTLE: I thought you were scared of these guys?

MARK: I used to be. Now they're just starting to annoy me.

HARDCASTLE: Now you're cookin'.

Change scene to the Judge's study.

CADILLAC: (to Mark) Hey this is private.

HARDCASTLE: He works with me. You can say anything in front of him you can say to me.

CADILLAC: Who is he?

MARK: I'm a writer. I'm ghosting Hardcastle's new book called "Garbage in our rivers." Wait 'til you read it. You're gonna hate it.

CADILLAC: I need your help.

HARDCASTLE: Well Joe, I gave up fightin' in parks and I don't know much about growing orchids so I don't know what I can do for ya.

CADILLAC: I need what's in the trunk in back of that car, and I need it now.

HARDCASTLE: Well that car's impounded. The DA filed a writ to search it and that's in the hands of a Judge right now downtown at the music center watching a breathtaking performance of La Boheme.

CADILLAC: I could make it worth your while.

HARDCASTLE: Hold it. I ought to have you busted for trying to bribe an officer of the court.

CADILLAC: What are you talking about? You're not an officer of the court anymore, Milt. You and me, we're retired.

MARK: What's in the boxes?

CADILLAC: You know what's there, Milt. Everything you need to bust be, get the good wraps on Sammy Aloe and Nate Reams.

HARDCASTLE: Well, why should I give 'em to you even if I could which I can't.

CADILLAC: You had a son. He's dead in Vietnam.

HARDCASTLE: You stay outta my private life, ya hear?

CADILLAC: I got a son. You didn't know that, huh? When he was still a boy, I changed his name. I let him take his mother's name, Arkaya. He was brought up by some other relatives in the family had nothing to do with my action. I used to slip out once, twice a week to be with him.

HARDCASTLE: So that's what the trips were. Everybody thought you were doin' business outta the country, Joe.

CADILLAC: I was with my boy. You know in a way, he's makin' up for my sins. My son is a priest. He's everything that's good and bright. He's the only thing that I really care about. They kidnapped him and if I don't get those papers to them before six o'clock, he's dead.

HARDCASTLE: Who are they?

CADILLAC: Some old associates, friends. They hired a man guy by the name of Visarro(he pronounces it Visoo). I never thought that they'd harm a priest. I never knew that they knew anything about him. This Visarro, he's a murderer. He'll kill my boy and that's no bluff.

HARDCASTLE: Okay, supposin' all this is true, but what's the rest of this deal?

CADILLAC: I'm a dead man without the records. I give them to Visarro. He gives me back my son, kills me...you win.

HARDCASTLE: I don't want your head on a plate, Joe. I just want you to pay up for your crimes.

CADILLAC: Then I'll confess. I'll go to jail. I'm only concerned about my son. You remember your boy, huh? You remember that feeling? Well, you can't let that happen. Not even to me.

HARDCASTLE: I don't know what I can do for ya, Joe. I told ya the car's in police impound. Let me think about it and I'll call ya.

CADILLAC: I need it by six a.m.

HARDCASTLE: I know. I didn't make the problem, Joe. Go on home, I'll call ya.

CADILLAC: You know when I came here, I never thought there was a chance you would help me. I hope I'm wrong. But then, I never expected you to come to the ball field either and you came. A guy like you...I don't know. (Cadillac leaves)

(This following is a tense scene done very subdued and quiet. A lot of the power of the scene comes from the expressions and body language.)

MARK: I never knew you had a son.

HARDCASTLE: A lot about me you don't know, kid.

MARK: Why didn't you tell me?

HARDCASTLE: My son's in my memories. I don't need sympathy from you to sweeten it up. You're not a substitute if that's what you're thinkin'.

MARK: What do we do about this?

HARDCASTLE: Not a lot we can do. Will you get outta here so I can think. (Mark gets up to leave, but he pauses like he wants to say something else, but he refrains) (to Mark just before he walks out the door) Go weed.

Change scene. It's nighttime, and we see Hardcastle leaving the house. It's apparent he's trying to be sneaky. He opens the garage door and uses a flashlight instead of turning on the lights.

MARK: (from the dark) How ya doin', Judge.

HARDCASTLE: Aw geez! (He turns on the garage light, and sees Mark reclining on the hood of the Coyote) What are you tryin' to do? Scare me half to death?

MARK: I been freezin' my buns off waitin' for you down here.

HARDCASTLE: Waitin' for what? I came down to get my tool belt. I got a leaky faucet up there, driving me crazy.

MARK: (looks pointedly at the gun holster the Judge is wearing) Looks to me like you grabbed the wrong belt. You know what you are, Judge? You're a fraud.

HARDCASTLE: I am, huh?

MARK: Um humm...all rough and tough, but deep down you are one sucker for a soft sell. What'cha doin' planning a little midnight raid on the police impound area? Huh?

HARDCASTLE: You got a smart mouth on ya. You know that?

MARK: Yeah but I'm a better second story man than you are.

HARDCASTLE: You're plannin' to come along, are you?

MARK: I've got to. You'll snag your pants on barbed wire, end up hanging on that fence like a dog's dinner.

HARDCASTLE: You think so, huh?

MARK: Come on tough guy get in. I'll drive.

They drive off.

HARDCASTLE: Watch out for the flower beds.

Change scene to the impound lot.

MARK: Wait a minute, wait a minute, Judge, how many second story jobs have you ever done?

HARDCASTLE: Actually it's my first.

MARK: All right then you're gonna wanna listen to me because I'm an expert at this all right. Now, after ten o'clock they put dogs in here. (points at guard dog sign) See they put dogs in. Now we're gonna need something to bait 'em with. What you do is you take this(hands him a butcher paper wrapped package), and when you listen for the sound of little running doggy feet, and you hear 'em you start throwing this stuff like crazy.

HARDCASTLE: Dogs?

MARK: Yeah they're big and they're mean. We've also got a little lock pick case here from the trunk of the car.

HARDCASTLE: I don't believe this. You're supposed to be rehabilitated and you're running around with a box of burglar tools.

MARK: It's just a sentimental reminder from my checkered past, Judge. Okay? You ready? Come on, let's go.

Mark and the Judge hop the chain link fence. We see the two German Shephards that are on guard. They search through the cars until they find the limo.

HARDCASTLE: Here, this is it. (They see the dogs heading for them)They're comin' in.

MARK: Food. Throw the food. Will ya throw the food.

HARDCASTLE: (throws some scraps) Good boy. This is not working. They're coming in.

MARK: Get in the car. Get in the car.

Mark and the Judge jump into the back on the limo.

HARDCASTLE: Okay expert, what are ya gonna do now?

MARK: I don't know about you, Masked Man, but Tonto is getting' outta here.

HARDCASTLE: What are you doin'?

MARK: I'm gonna hotwire this thing, all right. I'm gonna fly it back and hit that fence. When it hits, you get out and get over the fence and I'm gonna throw the boxes to ya.

The guys make their escape and drive off in the Coyote. Scene changes to Joe Cadillac's house.

CADILLAC: You got the boxes?

HARDCASTLE: Yeah, we got your boxes Joe, but I'm gonna protect them (touches his gun) if you know what I mean.

DAVID: Just give me the word, sir and I'll take care of this.

HARDCASTLE: Don't be stupid.

DAVID: Just say the word, Mr. Cadillac

MARK: Uh boys, boys come on now. A shootout over a box full of papers, here. Come on.

CADILLAC: Come on, relax will you Davey. Come on, come inside.

MARK: (to David) You can unwind. Everything cool, huh? (I'm not sure about this...it also sounded like you know who I am or yeah you don't mind.)

They all go inside.

CADILLAC: How did you get 'em?

HARDCASTLE: Uh, well, we stole them outta police impound.

CADILLAC: Hey who you kiddin'? You're mister law and order. I don't believe ya.

MARK: Believe it, mister. This guy put himself in the suit to save your son. You wanna be sure to get that into the next book you write. How Judge Hardcastle committed a felony to save your son's life--broke into a police facility no less, stole evidence.

HARDCASTLE: Uh we don't, we don't need that in the book.

MARK: Are you kiddin'? That's the best thing you ever did. Breakin' a silly law to save the life of a priest, Judge come on. Kidnap, theft (not sure of that here...couldn't make it out) the very legal system you swore to uphold. It's beautiful. I'm tellin' ya.

HARDCASTLE: Yeah, yeah but I don't think we need to make a point of that. Okay, McCormick.

CADILLAC: Hey I got a phone number for the guy. I tried to run him, but it turned out to be a stolen mobile phone.

HARDCASTLE: Well he's smart. Now there's something we're gonna work out first. I lose these documents, you can double cross me. You can change your mind about makin' a confession.

CADILLAC: I give you my word on my son's life. That's the best I can do.

HARDCASTLE: Deal.

MARK: No, Judge, it's a bad play.

HARDCASTLE: Make your call. Now tell them we want the meet at Indian Dunes.

MARK: Why Indian Dunes?

HARDCASTLE: Because I know that place like the back of my hand. That's where I race my dirt bikes. Tell them you want to talk to your son, make sure it's him. Find out if he's okay.

CADILLAC: I don't need any advice on negotiatin'.

Change scene to the rendevous at Indian Dunes with the kidnappers for the exchange.

VISARRO: Come in closer.

CADILLAC: Are you kiddin'?

VISARRO: Leave the car and walk toward me.

CADILLAC: You think I just got off the boat, kiddo? Huh? I go over there. You kill me. You kill my son. You go over the car and get the papers. You do it my way.

VISARRO: You got the papers in the car?

CADILLAC: No, you got cover, I got cover. You send me my son, I send you the papers. You start blasting, I start blasting.

VISARRO: Okay, we'll try it that way. We're covered.

They get Father Arkaya out of the van and he starts walking toward his father.

VISARRO: Send the papers, Joe or I'll drill him in the back.

Cadillac motions for Hardcastle who's on a dirt bike to make the exchange. He rides up and drops off the boxes.

HARDCASTLE: Hi, Father.

Cadillac and his son drive away. Visarro and the thug that's with him go to the boxes and check them finding the evidence. Hardcastle watches from a distance away.

VISARRO: He could have copied them. Kill them all. Get the guy on the bike. Close off the exits.

THUG: (on radio to extra goons they've got positioned around) Okay close this joint down. Nobody get out.

HARDCASTLE: (on radio) Okay, Lt. close it in.

The cops move in cutting of the extra goons.

THUG: (on radio) Get over here, Mike. We've been had.

A car picks up Visarro and the thug.

HARDCASTLE: All right, we're moving in.

Hardcastle goes chasing after the getaway car on his dirt bike with Mark in the Coyote close behind. The Judge takes a spill on the bike. Mark stops and picks him up.

HARDCASTLE: Okay, okay, (sees Mark grinning at him) I lost my traction.

They take off in pursuit again. Cadillac's car cuts off the getaway car and it crashes and rolls. Mark and the Judge and Joe Cadillac take out Visarro and the other two thugs in a fight.

CADILLAC: Are you okay, Milt?

HARDCASTLE: Yeah, I'm...don't try to soften me up now, Cadillac.

CADILLAC: Hey thanks. I owe you a lot.

MARK: Judge, while you're standing here blushing and kicking the ground, you're files are burning up in that car.

HARDCASTLE: WHAT!!

Hardcastle runs over to the burning car.

MARK: Watch out, it's gonna blow!

The two go grab the boxes out of the car. Something is said, but I can't make it out.

FATHER ARKAYA: Thanks, Dad.

CADILLAC: Hey don't thank me, kiddo. Thank this crazy Judge here and his friend.

FATHER ARKAYA: From me and my pop, thanks.

MARK: Wanna go for another ten?

HARDCASTLE: (drops the box he's holding) Now you're cookin'.

Mark drops his boxes as well and they do their heart rates.

Change scene to the police station.

MARK: What are we doin' here?

HARDCASTLE: We're gonna make a confession here that's what we're gonna do.

MARK: Wait a minute, we're gonna confess to what? Now, you're not gonna go in there and admit to breakin' into the impoundment area, are ya?

HARDCASTLE: Sure.

MARK: You're kidding? Why? Judge, come on, it'll ruin your career. We got away clean. Nobody even knows.

HARDCASTLE: What do you mean, nobody knows? I know two people that know right now.

MARK: Now wait a minute, if you say you and me are those two people, I'm gonna haul off and clock you right here in this cop shop.

HARDCASTLE: Okay, you want it on your conscience? I don't want it on mine.

MARK: I won't have it on my conscience. I won't. Honest Judge, I won't. Listen, will you listen to me? Slow up here. Don't...Judge, police have a tendency to get a little funny with ex-convicts like me breaking into their impoundment area stealing evidence.

HARDCASTLE: Look at Joe Cadillac. He didn't pay for his crimes, they put a contract out on him. His kid almost gets killed, and he's gonna spend what's left of his life in jail.

MARK: Judge, it's not the same thing.

HARDCASTLE: It is the same thing!

MARK: Is not!

HARDCASTLE: I spent my whole life standing for the law. Last night I broke the law. Now I'm gonna go in there and confess. You don't want to go that's okay. I won't drag you into it. I just thought maybe you were man enough to stand up with me. It's okay, don't worry. Don't, give it a thought. (The judge enters the Lt.'s office and shuts the door)

MARK: (to the closed door) You're a fool, Jack. (goes to stand against the wall by the payphone. There's a girl on the phone.) Smokin' some whackey tobaccy. I've never done anything that stupid in my life, and I'm not about to start here. (He starts to walk away) No way, Ray. (Shakes his head and enters the office).

HARDCASTLE: I picked the lock, and the files were in the back of the car.

MARK: (interrupting) He couldn't pick the lock in a motel door in Iowa. I picked the lock.

HARDCASTLE: There now doesn't that feel good?

MARK: No, it feels dumb.

HARDCASTLE: Okay, write it up, and I'll sign it.

CARLTON: Go home, Milton get some rest, okay?

HARDCASTLE: Right after I sign the confession.

CARLTON: Judge Hightower didn't go to the opera. He read the filing on the search and seizure, granted at 7:30 last night. It was in his out basket. (Hardcastle just crosses his arms.) Milton, you're an officer of the court. You have the right to go into a police facility. It was kind of silly to climb the fence, but you can do it anyway you want, you know.

MARK: Wait a minute, we had a right to search that car?

CARLTON: That's right. It was signed and time dated. No crime was committed. Go home, Milton. Goodnight and thank you.

HARDCASTLE: No wait, I didn't know that at the time. I meant to break in there.

MARK: (trying to pull the Judge out of the office) Aw come on, come on, let's go, Judge.

HARDCASTLE: It was a clear case of intent.

CARLTON: (grinning at the whole episode) I'll call you tomorrow.

HARDCASTLE: Thanks, thanks, Lt.

Mark finally gets the Judge out in the hallway.

HARDCASTLE: Oh, this is nuts.

MARK: You're a donkey.

HARDCASTLE: We broke in back there.

MARK: You're a stoned, red-eyed, hay bearing jackass. You know that?

HARDCASTLE: All right. I appreciate you're coming in there with me.

MARK: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

HARDCASTLE: Maybe you're getting to be a donkey too.

MARK: Now you're really cookin'

End episode. End credits roll.