THE UNDERLYING PROBLEM

by Barbara Arthur

Disclaimer can be found in part one.

Comments are welcome at Barbart@globalsite.net

Part Five


Rick

I exchanged glances with A.J. I tried to convey to him that we could over power this guy Hawthorne. We used to do it all of the time when we were partners. No reason why, if we played our cards right, we couldn't do it again. My brother gave me a slight nod, so slight I was sure Hawthorne didn't notice. I'd seen that nod many times. It meant A.J. understood my intentions. He began to talk nonsense to the guy.

"We can't walk too well, Hawthorne. It's a family problem, all of us have it. Mom, Dad had it. That's how they met, you know? Our parents met at a bad feet convention----"

Despite our predicament, I could hardly keep a straight face. A.J., the suave man who always looked so serious, had a great sense of humor, and a great sense of timing. Hawthorne was staring as if he wasn't sure he was hearing correctly. In the meantime, I was inching a little closer to him. A.J. went on. "It's sad but true. Our feet are what makes us a unique family, we---"

"Hey, cut it out!" Hawthorne yelled, but it was too late for him to do anything to stop me. I stepped right up to him while he was absorbing A.J.'s feet story, grabbed his arm and shoved. Of course it was a dangerous move which could get one or all three of us in the room killed. Fortunately, no one was killed or even wounded.

A.J. ducked when I pulled the stunt. The gun went off, but the bullet missed him. He then knocked the gun out of Hawthorne's hand as I was getting a good hold on the security fellow from behind. All three of us were breathing hard by that time. "Okay, fella," I panted, as A.J. picked up the knocked free pistol, "Tell us where we can find another gun."

"You won't get by with this," he growled. "There are others waiting, they'll---"

"Spare us, Hawthorne!" A.J. yelled. "We'll be careful. Now, the other guns? They are in here, aren't they?"

Hawthorne nodded his head up and down, then pointed to the very chest we had been eyeing. "That thing is loaded with guns."

"Good news," I said. "Okay, you open it for us, then we'll decide what to do next."

"No," Hawthorne said.

I put a hammer lock on him. "No, you say?" I said.

"All right," he choked out. "All right. Let me go."

I loosened my grip. "Open the chest," I instructed.

He pulled a set of keys from his pocket, searched out one, and opened the chest. He had been truthful. "Wow!" A.J. exclaimed. "Look at that! An arsenal!"

"Interesting," I said.

Without further ado, my brother and I chose a gun from the treasure chest of weapons. There was ammunition there as well, so we helped ourselves to that. Once we had loaded the guns, put Hawthorne's revolver inside and relocked the chest, I had a question for our captive. "So, Hawthorne, before we bid you farewell, why don't you tell us what's goin' on here?"

"Yes, who all is involved, is my brother the target, me, or both of us?" This from A.J. "And where are we to be ambushed?"

Hawthorne smiled an asinine smile. "I don't have to tell you that," he said.

A.J. pounced all over him. "Listen, Mister, I can either shoot you on the spot or have my brother here choke you to death! Which way would you prefer to go?"

Hawthorne went limp in my grasp. His expression said he was resigned to the fact he would have to come clean with us. I did not loosen my grip all that much and A.J. kept a gun pointed at him. "You are both targets, but it's you that is the ultimate goal for them." He was looking at me.

"I thought so," I said.

"And," he went on, "With, uh, your ex not caring what happened to you----"

"So Janet is in on it?" A.J. interrupted, realizing that was who Hawthorne now spoke of.

"Sure, she's been a big help," Hawthorne grinned. "She and her boy friend."

*****************************************


A.J.

I was hearing what the man said, but I was having trouble digesting it. Oh, it wasn't that I didn't suspect, and suspect strongly, for, as I've already stated here, I'd come to the realization that Janet had been giving me some sort of drug. Still, hearing it confirmed was difficult to swallow. "Her boy friend?"

"Yes, you met him in San Diego, Mr. Simon," Hawthorne said, matter of fact. "Don't tell me you don't recall?"

He sneered at me as he asked the question. "You know very well I don't recall, Hawthorne!" I blasted him. "What has she been giving me and for how long?"

"We can learn that later, A.J.," Rick cut into the discussion, and then asked a question of his own. "We need to know other stuff first. For instance, I'm curious to know if this boy friend of Janet's was the man who got himself killed in the dining room tonight."

"The very same," said Hawthorne. "Too bad, though. He wasn't supposed to die. You were not supposed to react as you did, A.J."

"And what was I programmed to do?" I asked.

"Shoot Rick Simon," he replied. "The powers that be were sure you would want to do it so bad yourself, you would hurry up the job when you saw someone else aiming at him. They were wrong."

"Thank God for that," I murmured.

Rick turned his head away, and I knew my words had struck him emotionally. He was quickly in control, however. He had something to say when he turned back. "What are we workin' with now, Hawthorne, plan B?"

"Plan B?" our captive played innocent.

"Yea, since the first plan, and I don't understand it all yet, didn't work, have you gone to your next plan of action?"

Along with my brother, I waited for Hawthorne's answer. We needed to know what we were up against. At last, he said, 'I guess that's what you call it. And I'll tell you this much, it won't matter what you do to me, or what I tell you, they've got you surrounded."

"We'll see about that," I snarled at him, but very much feared what he said was true.

"Yes, you will," he snarled in return.

Angry, Rick knocked the guy into the wall. " We're not through with you yet, Hawthorne, so don't get smart!"

I believe the man feared for his life at that moment. "Okay, okay. Yes, there's a plan B. When you, Rick, came to Gethers' cabin and asked to visit your brother, he decided not to stop you. We notified the guard to get lost---"

Rick interrupted then to laugh. "No wonder it was so easy. Then what?"

"And then, while you were together in the holding tank, we docked and unloaded everyone who isn't in on the deal."

"And how many were left on board?" I quickly inquired.

"And does their number include Brenda Smart?" Rick added.

Hawthorne sneered again. "Ten and yes."

"Damn!" Rick exclaimed loudly.

"Take it easy, Rick," I told him. "So we both have women who've turned on us. We'll get out of it."

"What I want to know is how you got docked and people off without our knowin' it," Rick said.

Hawthorne was pleased to reply. "You were still in the holding tank, the two of you. There's no P.A. system in there."

"Ah hah!" Rick nodded. "So, we've been docked a while. Where are the fearless ten?"

"I don't have to tell you that, and I won't," Hawthorne announced. "You're going to kill me, or use me as a shield, or something, anyway, so there's no use giving away all of our secrets."

"We'll find them," I said. "But how would you feel about telling us the plot?"

"The plot?"

"Yea, the storyline," Rick said. "Why do you have it in for me? And why did you decide to involve my brother?"

"The second part is easy," said the so called security officer. "Janet said A.J. was somewhat unhappy with you. She felt she could make him much more unhappy. Therefore, the plan was to use him to kill you eventually. This has been in the works for years."

"And the first part?" Rick pressed, his voice hard.

"That's a long story."

"Start at the beginning," I instructed.

"Better yet," Rick said. "Just tell us if this had anything to do with a case A.J. and I solved. Does it have anything to do with somebody we sent to prison?"

I glanced at my brother. Had something occurred to him? "Rick, what are you thinking?"

"I'm askin' this guy a question, Kid. Let him answer."

Hawthorne suddenly took an interest in the ceiling. He stared at it long and hard. Finally, he replied. "You could say that, yea. You sent a group of people to prison, folks just trying to do a job, folks trying to stop something from happening that should not have been happening. That's what you did."

"And did you know these folks up close and personal?" Rick probed, while I tried to come up with the case referred to.

"One of them was my brother," Hawthorne spit out. "And one was Gethers' brother. You two aren't the only brothers in the world, you know?"

I glanced at Rick. He smiled slightly, and I returned the gesture. I said, "No, we're not. Is Hawthorne your real name?"

"No," he replied curtly.

"It's either Green or Hathaway," said Rick.

The names hit me like a ton of brick. "My God," I murmured. "Not---"

"Oh yea," Rick said. "One of our finer cases, Kid. Remember?"

"Yes, I do. The gang related thing."

"The very same," my brother chuckled. "And now, we evidently have---but wait, why am I the target? A.J. and I worked that one together, just like always."

"Well, in a way, we're both targets now, Rick," I said.

"No, this sleaze said I'm the one they wanted the worst. Why?"

Hawthorne laughed. "Because you're the one who wrote the book, who told the secrets of the group-----"

Rick and I made eye contact. I'd read the book, of course, but my concentration had mostly been on the portion about myself and how unfair I believed it to be. I could see by my brother's expression that he knew exactly what Hawthorne was speaking of. I wanted in on it. "What secrets?" I asked.

Rick glared at me. "A.J., don't you remember? I wrote a whole chapter on this case. Oh, I disguised it, didn't give real names, but I detailed how we went about humiliating the gang of which this fellow's brother was evidently a charter member."

"I'm sorry, I don't----" I began, but then it hit me. "Ah, yes. It was a big part of the movie as well. I take it this exposure further hurt the G&H gang in its pursuit of criminal activities in which to participate."

Rick laughed his short, high pitched chuckle, while Hawthorne looked daggers at me. "Yes, as a matter of fact, it did. So much so that, although my brother and Gethers' brother were willing to operate from prison, we can't get anything going."

"Well now, I hate to hear that," I told him, causing Rick to chuckle again.

"It disappoints me, too," said my brother. "But I wouldn't think it would set off this elaborate plan you people have evidently concocted with Janet's help. What role does Brenda play in all of this? She have a relative in the gang?"

Hawthorne grimaced. "Hers is dead, Simon. Thanks to you, her husband was killed."

"Oh boy," I said under my breath.

"Yea," Rick agreed, letting out a deep breath. "So, Brenda was the one who was willing to set me up big time?"

"Brenda is a very bitter woman," Hawthorne announced. "And she was willing to do almost anything to bring you down, even live with you."

Rick seemed somewhat stunned by the revelation. I touched him on the arm. He glanced at me, shrugged, then said to the fellow we were holding at gun point. "Where is she now?"

*******************************************


Rick---

I couldn't help but be taken aback when I received the news about Brenda. Not that she was the woman of my dreams, or anything like that. She wasn't. But she had been a good companion, both day and night. It was hard to comprehend that she'd played me for such a fool. It wasn't the first time in my life I'd been attracted to the wrong woman, and, if I survived the current nightmare, it wouldn't be the last.

"She's with the others," Hawthorne finally answered me.

"And where's that?" I growled. "C'mon, Hawthorne, tell us or I'm gonna choke you out. I swear----"

"They'll make themselves known, Rick," A.J. said, calm. "No use to hassle him. What are we going to do with him when we leave?"

"Well, we don't have rope or handcuffs," I lamented. "I don't really know. Maybe we'll have to take him along."

"He did mention something about us using him as a shield," my brother said.

"Yea, how about that, Hawthorne? Would you like to go for a walk with us?"

I tried to read his reaction. He didn't show much emotion one way or the other, making it difficult to tell whether he would feel safer left behind or going along. "Well?" I pressed, when he didn't reply.

"It won't matter. They are waiting to kill you both and they won't mind killing me. You see, I'm not in their good graces right now."

Another angle. "Oh?" A.J. said, raising his eyebrows. "That why they sent you to see what we're up to?"

"Yes, it is," Hawthorne replied in a dejected manner.

"What'd you do, object to plan B?" I asked him, more to make a joke than anything. I was trying to stay on top of the conversation. This could be a break for us, and I believed A.J. thought so too.

"You might say that," he said.

"Which part did you object to?" asked my brother.

"I haven't told you about any of the parts," the man said, "And I don't intend to."

I put on the pressure. "Hawthorne, it sounds like they don't have much use for you. Now, if you'll help us, we'll return the favor as best we can for someone who'll be in trouble big time. We won't set you free or anything, 'cause my brother and I don't operate that way. But we will try to get you a good deal."

"How about it, Hawthorne?" A.J. asked.

He seemed to be seriously considering the offer. We waited for his decision. While I waited, I wondered if we were being wise. After all, we might be playing right into his hands. Hawthorne, or whatever his real name was, might lead us into a trap we couldn't possibly extract ourselves from. At last, he replied.

"I can take you to the women and let them decide. You'll have a better chance with them----and so will I."

"The women?" my brother and I asked in unison.

"Yes, Janet Simon and Brenda Smart."

"You mean," I began, "That they are someplace separate from the others in on this?"

Hawthorne nodded. "Yes, they're in Brenda's cabin."

"Wait a minute," A.J. took up the discussion. "Let's back up here a few steps, shall we?"

I could not help but grin. My brother was beginning to sound just like he had when we worked together as investigators. His tone of voice and everything. It made me smile, while at the same time, made me want to cry. "Get it out of him, Kid," I said.

A.J. glanced at me with that intent look he could give, and then smiled. "Yes, I need to do that." He then turned back to Hawthorne. "Look, there are so many holes in your story, I mean, I believe you to a certain extent, but I don't believe Rick and I should walk out of here until we know more. And first, I need to know why you were sent back here to us. You say, you aren't a favorite among your peers at the moment, but that's not good enough for me. Why aren't you the favorite?"

I grinned. And waited for the fellow to reply. A.J. was himself, the brother I knew and---yes, I loved him, never more so than at that minute, although I still didn't know everything I needed to know. "Tell us everything, Hawthorne. You can cut corners if you want. Just the overall picture will be fine. See, that's our underlying problem right now, we don't know the overall picture."

My brother turned his gaze on me, and I met it. We both grinned slightly, then he spoke. "My brother has a way with words, but like he says, you don't need to get fancy. First of all, there's a contradiction in your story."

"Like what?" Hawthorne frowned.

"You said Brenda was with the others, now you say she's with Janet in Brenda's cabin," A.J. said. "Which is it?"

"Good point," I said. "And tell us the truth or you won't survive to see what happens to us."

A visible shudder went through Hawthorne's body. "All right. They were all together when I left them. On shore. But the women were going to Brenda's cabin to----"

"To---?" A.J. prompted.

"To wait," he said.

"For us?" I asked.

"I'm supposed to take you there, that is, if you will cooperate. You see, this is all a very clever game they're playing, and if one plan won't work, then they'll try something else. They told me that if I could get you to go to the women, they might let me live."

"And we were about to fall in to your trap very cleverly," my brother snarled.

"So we were," I laughed. "But we still don't know why it is you're on the outs with your own people, Hawthorne. I'm really curious."

************************************************


A.J.---

It was a good thing my headache was gone. This was very difficult to follow, this story Rick and I were dragging a little at a time out of our captive. I waited along with my brother for an answer to our latest inquiry. Hawthorne finally obliged us and was forthcoming with one.

"I don't, uh, and never have----"

"Yea?" Rick urged a continuance, moving up to be directly in Hawthorne's face. "You never have what?"

"I never have thought your book or the movie, Mr. Simon, caused us much of a problem. Barnes and Janet---"

"Barnes?" I interrupted.

"Yes, Carter Barnes, that's the man you shot."

"And you say----" I began, but then I remembered something.

"What is it, Kid?" Rick asked, seeing that my expression had changed.

"I remember him now, remember having met him in San Diego. Yes, of course, and I didn't like him. He was----"

"Was what?" Rick pressed.

"Was evil, somehow. I remember wondering how Janet could stand him, much less date him. Of course, my mind must have been terribly mixed up then, but still, I didn't care for him at all."

"Well, you took care of him tonight, and they were gonna charge you with his murder," my brother reminded me.

I questioned Hawthorne. "What were you going to say about Barnes and Janet?"

"Well, you were married to her, so you must know. She can be quite evil herself," said Hawthorne.

"Janet, evil?" I reacted. "No, she's not. She's uh----"

Rick took over. "Janet's not evil, not when she's herself. Oh, she has jealous tendencies, she was always jealous of my relationship with A.J., but evil, I wouldn't say so."

"She might be if she, herself, was on something similar to what I've been on," I said.

"Ah, hah," Rick caught on to my meaning. "You think Janet has been given somethin', and then, in turn, was persuaded to give you somethin'?"

"Could be."

"Not only could be, but is." This piece of wisdom from Hawthorne. "Barnes got a hold of her soon after your book came out. He got her on a mind controlling drug, then she got you, A.J. on one. That's how this all got set up."

"So Janet isn't really responsible for her actions, either," I said, grateful if it was true.

"Not really," Hawthorne confirmed.

Rick whistled and shook his head. "What a mess."

"Yes, it is," I agreed, then turned to Hawthorne. "Take us to Janet. I want to talk to her. And don't try anything, anything at all, or you're dead."

"Dead, as in not breathin', not to be seen or heard of again, as gone forever dead," Rick added, tougher sounding than I heard him since meeting him a few hours earlier.

Hawthorne nodded. "I will, but I can't guarantee what the others might have decided to do by now."

"We'll take our chances," I told him.

"Yes, we will," Rick added.

And so we left the security office, Rick and I forcing Hawthorne to walk in front of us. Our journey didn't last long, that is, with Hawthorne in front of us. The change in program came early on, came so unexpectedly, it is still a wonder to me we survived. I was falling back into the mind set of a P.I. and I knew Rick was as well. We were being extremely careful, although we were now armed. Hawthorne was giving us no trouble and then someone screamed my name.

*******************************************


Rick---

It was Janet. I recognized her voice although it would have been easy enough not to recognize it, because the high pitch scream could have been anybody. The sound came from off to our left as we walked along a corridor of the ship. "It's Janet!" I yelled.

"I know," A.J. responded, and then we both saw her coming---along with Brenda Smart. My brother yelled to his ex wife. "Janet, take it easy. I 've got something to tell you."

But Janet wasn't taking it easy. The closer she came, the easier it was to see the expression in her eyes, on her face. Wild. She looked wild. Totally out of control. It shocked me to see her, and I knew if it shocked me, it must be even worse, if possible, for A.J.

"She's out of it, Kid," I warned. "And she's got a gun."

"She doesn't know how to use it," he said.

"Yes, she does," Hawthorne disagreed. "She and Brenda are both-----" And those was the last words the man ever spoke.

Janet proved what Hawthorne was about to tell us. She could use it and did. Her target was not the man she killed, or, at least my brother and I didn't think so. When she fired, both A.J. and I hit the deck. Our captive did not, and the bullet struck him in the heart. He was killed instantly, with no time to tell us his final thoughts.

She could have fired again when she saw she hadn't so much as injured her intended victim. My brother and I prepared ourselves for such a possibility by diving behind a post. We both had our own gun out and pointed at the women by then. Instead of firing again, Janet was persuaded quickly by Brenda to run from us.

"Let's go," A.J. said to me, and started to run after them.

"Wait!" I yelled. I didn't suppose he would stop, but he did.

Walking back to me, he questioned my reluctance to give chase. "What are you waiting for, Rick?" he asked me. "We'll lose them if---"

"Don't you think we'd better take a moment here to mourn Hawthorne?"

A.J.'s eyes bugged out, so incredible did he find my query. "What!"

"Look, Kid, I know how you feel, but---"

"How do I feel?" He demanded to know. "Did your ex-wife ever try to shoot you?"

"Put it in perspective, A.J.," I said, stern. "Janet's no more aware of what she's doin' than you claimed to be earlier when you were thinkin' about shootin' me."

That gave him pause. He sighed and slumped his shoulders. "Even so, Rick, we need to know where they are."

"Maybe," I agreed. "But maybe we should make em come to us. This is a big ship. No one will see where we hide. I still think we can swim to shore and get help."

"We don't even know where we're anchored," he protested. "Rick, they are just toying with us. They made a mistake, or so it would seem, in shooting Hawthorne, but they'll hunt us down again. They're probably watching us this very minute."

"Okay. Okay, Kid. What do you want to do?"

"They're out of sight now, Rick!" he squalled. "Thanks to you!"

"I'm sorry," I told him. "Maybe you're right, maybe we should have given chase. Let's go back to my cabin, think it over."

"Rick, we're going to die on this ship."

I studied my brother carefully after his profound statement. I didn't feel like we were going to die, still had lots of hope of escaping. I also knew I had to snap A.J. out of it or he would drag us down. "Can't think like that, Kid," I said to him. "We're better off than we were. We've got weapons, ammunition, two of the enemy have bitten the dust. NOW's no time to become a pessimist."

He shook his head. I wondered if the drug was taking hold of him again, but didn't see how that could be. He finally said something. "They'll track us down. We're still outnumbered."

"Look at me, A.J.," I requested. "Look me right in the eye."

**********************************************


A.J.---

I could tell by Rick's tone of voice and by the request he had made that he thought something was wrong with me, with my mind. I did as he asked. I looked him directly in the eye and said, "I'm okay, Rick. It's just that I'm, uh,---"

"What?"

"I'm not used to dealing with reality, I guess," I answered. "It's hard to tell how long it has been since I've done that. I suppose I'm afraid, if you must know the truth."

Rick grinned at me and quickly brushed my face with his hand. "You'll be all right with me, A.J. Remember what you told Janet that time in Florida?"

I nodded. I did remember, but didn't trust my voice to say so.

"You told her," Rick said it for me, "And I quote, you said, 'Rick will take care of me.'"

"And she got so mad she took off in my car," I further recalled.

"She didn't believe it then. But, if she knows anything at all now, I mean, if her mind works at all like it used to, then she knows I will take care of you. And, she knows you'll take care of me."

"But I wonder if she thinks I'm still under the influence?" I asked.

"She might, although they seemed to have figured out we'd gotten back together," Rick speculated. "That should have shot down any idea that you still wanted to kill me."

"Yes," I said, and then didn't know what to say.

"Let's break into a cabin, A.J. If they find us, fine, we'll fight it out. If not, we'll wait a few hours and then take a sneak peak to find out if we can swim to shore."

I shrugged, willing, at that point, to let Rick take care of me.

We walked away from Hawthorne's body. I thought it was a good idea what Rick had said about breaking into a cabin. It would be foolhardy for us to return to either his or my quarters. There were scores of cabins on the ship and unless they had some way of seeing us, which I wasn't sure they didn't, then it might take them a while to find us.

"Let's try this one," Rick said, stopping in front of a door.

"Why this one?" I asked.

He gave me that look of his which was both scornful and full of humor at the same time. "Because this is where we are. What better reason?"

I laughed. "Rick, you'll never change. This one it is."

He smiled warmly at me then. "It's really good to be with you, Kid. Have I told you that yet?"

"Sort of," I said. "And it's good to be with you, too. If we survive this, let's not let circumstances separate us again."

"Sounds good to me," he said, using his credit card and once again opening a door. "Well, here we are."

We entered the cabin. It was quite dark of course, but he switched on the light. "Maybe we shouldn't use a light," I suggested, just as Rick's hand came away from the switch.

"No, well, they might see it, yes," he followed my thinking. "But I don't really think they'll find us or bother us here. They know we'll try to escape later."

I fell on the bed. "I'm exhausted from all of this. I don't know if I can swim very far."

"A.J., you are an athlete, you----"

"Was an athlete," I corrected him before he could go any further. "I'm out of shape, Rick. You probably are, too."

He grinned. "Well, I'm forty four. Been livin' pretty high on the hog, not gettin' much exercise. But you never know what you can do when you're desperate."

"We could call for help, use your phone," I said, just as if the thought had just occurred to me. Actually, it had occurred to me several times. Why not call someone and tell them what was happening?

"Yea, I've thought of that," Rick said. "But once they got here Gethers would probably convince them you're a murderer and they'd take you into custody. They'd kill me then, and there would be no one to believe you."

"I guess we won't call somebody," I said.

"We're on our own, and we can handle it."

"How long should we wait?" I asked him.

"You're lettin' me make all the decisions, A.J.," he said. "How long do you think we should wait?"

I smiled at him. "I thought you wanted to take care of me."

"How long do you think we should wait?" he repeated, a slight grin on his lips.

"Until daybreak, if possible," I replied.

"That's what I think, too. We can't swim off of here in the dark, can't see where we are. Course, at dawn they'll be able to see us, but we have no choice."

I looked at my watch. "Well, it's what? About midnight now, so we've got five or six hours to wait?"

"Yea," he agreed. "Long time. Better get some rest."

I wanted to agree, I really did, but my nerves were on edge to do something. If I wasn't badly mistaken, my brother was in the same condition. "Rick?"

"Yea?"

"I can't wait, I'm sorry."

"A.J., we'll be takin' an awful chance."

"Yes, but we will be taking an awful chance if we wait, too. Let's get off of this boat, make a swim for it."

He grinned at me. "Remember the time down in Florida when we swam away from that boat and it blew up?"

"Marlowe was with us," I said.

"Yea, Marlowe. Great dog. I miss him."

"Do you have a dog now?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Naw, just haven't got one yet. I'll have to do that. You?"

"No, haven't stayed in one place long enough."

"Have to do that, Kid," he told me. "You were meant to stay in one place. I was meant to roam."

"Maybe, but I want you to keep in touch, whatever you do, and---"

"And?"

I shrugged. "I was going to say I wish you wouldn't roam, but I don't have the right to ask that of you. Just keep in touch."

His eyes turned cloudy. "Look, Kid, maybe, if I had somethin' to do again, you know----"

"Again?" I broke in to question. "Haven't you had anything to do lately? I mean, promote your book, consult on a movie-----?"

"I've been tryin' to write another one, but, well, once I had the money from the first----"

"You've spent most of your time getting rid of it, right?"

He nodded. "Right. And I have gotten rid of it. I've had a blast doin' it though, except----"

We both were having trouble finishing sentences, I noticed. "Except?" I prompted.

"Except, A.J., it wasn't very rewarding."

"I can't seem to keep from bawling tonight," I said. "I'm sorry----" And then I left another sentence unfinished and cried again. I turned over and cried into the pillow of the bed in the cabin we had chosen.

"C'mon, Kid, don't do that," Rick told me, rubbing my shoulder. "Don't do that. Are you cryin' because my life hasn't been rewarding, or because yours hasn't been?"

"Both, I guess," I managed to get out. " I don't even know for sure what I've been doing. I guess I've practiced law, and done fairly well at it at times, but I'm not sure. I thought Janet and I had a good marriage for a while, I thought you were a scoundrel for a while, and now----"

Another unfinished sentence. Rick finished it for me with words and actions that came as a surprise. He grabbed me roughly and set me up. "Stop bawlin', A.J. I hope they'll be time for that later, but right now, we've got to save our necks. After that, I'd like you to consider being half of a P.I. firm again, one with the unoriginal name of Simon and Simon."

********************************************


Rick---

I shocked the tears out of my brother's eyes. They dried up as they stared at me. Slowly, a grin split his lips. "I hope you're serious, Rick."

"Of course I'm serious," I told him, and I was. "We'll get out of this and then find someplace to practice our trade again."

"San Diego?" he asked.

"Well," I shrugged. "If that's where you want to practice? Is it?"

"Yes," he replied, grinning broadly now. "Yes, I want to go home. I want us to go home and do what we do best, Rick. That's what I want."

"Me too," I said.

And then we laughed. We tumbled around on the bed, throwing pillows at each other, and we laughed. We tumbled and laughed until we were both breathless. We laid still and rested a while, not speaking. A.J. broke the silence. "They've surely come for Hawthorne's body. "

I sat up. " I don't know if they'd come aboard to get him or not."

"It's spooky," my brother said.

"Some. Listen, let's get ready to take the first step home to Mom and San Diego. You ready?"

"I suppose I am. We need to find out if we're really docked like Hawthorne said. If so, we won't have to swim far."

I agreed. "Right. If we're docked, we'll jump off the back, swim around to shore. If we're anchored in a harbor, we might have quite a swim. Best strip out of our clothes here. Did you bring swim trunks?"

"Rick!"

"What!"

"I didn't come aboard this ship for pleasure, I came to kill you!"

"Oh yea," I mumbled. "Well, I brought trunks, but I hate to go back to my cabin. Guess I'll swim in my underwear. You?"

"The same."

"We'll be pretty for the photographers then."

"What photographers?" A.J. questioned me.

"The ones that will surely show up to take pictures of us or our corpses, dependin' on how lucky we are."

"You'll never change, Rick."

"Do you know how many times you've said that tonight?" I asked him.

"Three or four, I guess," he replied.

By then, we were both down to our shorts. 'Let's go," I suggested.

"We're going to be unarmed again," he scowled at me.

"If we have to go in the water, yes," I said. "Until then, we'd best keep a gun in our hand."

We left the cabin in our shorts, A.J. and I did, each of us carrying a hand gun. It struck me as funny, but since it was such a tense situation we were in, I didn't laugh. We walked, keeping a cautious eye out for other human beings who might be lurking. We saw no one. "Let's go topside, Kid, take a look around."

"Okay."

On we walked, both of us staying close to the walls. I took the lead at first, but when we came to a corner, I took a peek around the wall, then he went in front of me. We were picking up exactly where we left off as P.I.'s. A.J. said so. "It won't take us long to be back in the swing of things."

"No," I said.

"I hope, though, that we can work in our clothes," he said. "I feel a bit conspicuous."

I grinned. "Why, no one is watchin'?"

"Let's hope you're right about that." he said.

We came to a set of stairs. "Up we go?" I asked.

"Sure, up we go. You go first."

"How nice of you," I said, and took off on the climb upward, my brother directly behind me.

******************************************


A.J.---

We were having fun. That sounds peculiar, considering the circumstances, but it's true. Rick and I were enjoying the walk in our shorts, guns in hand. Oh, we both knew we were in serious jeopardy, that we might not survive even, but, still, we were enjoying it. I followed my brother up the stairs. When he reached the top, he gave me a hand signal which meant wait where I was. I did so, while he peeked quickly around to see what he could see.

"No one in sight," he turned to tell me.

"Can you see where the ship's anchored?" I asked.

He stretched his head out, then took two steps. I then stepped up to where I could cover him. He took two more steps. We were on the deck of the ship, the deck where passengers were supposed to sunbathe and enjoy themselves. "We're in a harbor," Rick said.

"Yes, I see," I responded, disappointed because I'd really hoped we were docked. "We'll have to swim."

"Yea," Rick agreed, then pointed, "There's the shore. Not many lights. Must not be a big city."

"Where could it be, then?" I wondered.

"Don't know. Let's get back out of sight and hope they didn't see us."

I started to step back, but then, all hell broke loose.

"Evidently, we'll need a lot of practice before we're ready to go back in business, Kid," Rick said.

"I guess you're right," I agreed.

The reason for our decision about our readiness to practice as investigators again was that we had been caught completely off guard. We were suddenly surrounded by the enemy. Gethers, two other men, Janet and Brenda, all there, staring at us, and all with pistols pointing at our hearts. Rick began to verbally spar with them.

"Well, if you folks don't mind, we'd like to go get dressed. We thought we were alone on the ship."

"Shut up!" Gethers squalled. "Shut up, or we'll kill you both. Now, Brenda will take your guns. Don't try anything."

I glanced at my brother as the woman he'd evidently been sharing a home with stepped forward. I saw that it pained him greatly to see her. I then glanced at Janet. My ex-wife was not looking at me. Instead, she was watching Brenda, watching and no doubt hoping Rick would do something foolish so that she could justify shooting him before proceedings went any further.

I said. "Classy lady you have there, Rick."

"Yea, she's about as classy as yours," he said, then to Brenda. "What the hell? You could have talked to me about it. I thought you liked me, I still think you did. You won't get by with this, Brenda, and then-----"

"Shut up, Rick!" This from an irate Janet. "Shut up! You've been a problem in my life for way too long!"

"In what way, Janet?" I spoke again. "Why do you hate him so?"

I could see Gethers and the other men were not happy that Rick and I were engaging the women in conversation, or trying to. How long they would allow us to do so, I didn't know. I saw it, and I knew Rick did as well, as perhaps the only way now to save our rears. I waited to see if Janet would bother to answer me. She did.

"You know why I hate him, A.J.! I can't have you, because of him."

Rick opened his mouth to object, but I put my hand out as a request that he hold his tongue. I would do the talking here, if at all possible. "That's ridiculous, Janet. It always has been. And for the four years that we were married, he wasn't around at all."

"Only because I manipulated your mind so that you thought you hated him as much as I did," she said.

I sighed deeply. Thoughts of disorientation, headaches, bad feelings toward my brother that I couldn't seem to control came to mind. "Yes, I can see that now. But Janet, we learned from Hawthorne, or whatever his name is, that you've been manipulated too. You are no doubt under the influence of a drug right now."

"Certainly not!" my ex wife denied. "I most certainly am not!"

"Yes you are, Janet," Rick told her. "You've been used by these people, used so that you would use A.J. to get to me. It's a big mess, Janet."

Gethers made a verbal move to put a stop to the direction of the conversation. "That's enough! Janet knows better than that."

"Maybe she thinks she does," I said. "But we're telling you the truth, Janet. Don't go along with their plan anymore, stop taking whatever----"

I didn't finish the sentence because one of Gethers' men moved up to punch me in the gut. It was a hard hit, and I doubled over. Rick grabbed for me and when one of them grabbed for him, he elbowed the guy. I was feeling better by then, so I reached for the gun of the fellow who had reached for Rick. Rick then------well, suffice to say, a melee ensued.

*********************************************


Rick---

I did not feel A.J. and I had the upper hand for quite some time after the fun began. After all, we were badly outnumbered and badly out of shape. Nevertheless, we managed to confuse the group of people who had taken it in their heads to do us harm to such an extent, they all began to physically spar with us. Well, spar is a mild term for it. Actually, it was an out and out fight.

Because there were more of them than there were of us, I kept expecting it to be over, but then I began to realize that my brother and I had knocked out all but one, Gethers, and Janet and Brenda, who weren't participating in the fisticuffs. They did, however, still have guns in their hands and access to many more weapons which had been knocked to the deck of the ship.

I was exhausted and supposed A.J. was, but he seemed to have a lot of fight left in him. In fact, he and Gethers were going at it hot and heavy. I picked up one of the guns and saw that Brenda and Janet were set to see that I didn't use it.

"Put it down, Rick!" Brenda yelled at me. "Put it down. You killed my husband!"

"I never met the man, Brenda," I said. "It sounds like he got what he deserved."

I did not anticipate her reaction. She fired the gun in her hand, fired it at my brother.

My karate training came back in a hurry, although I hadn't used it in quite some time. When I saw that I couldn't stop Brenda from firing, I leaped forward and gave A.J. quite a hit. He tumbled backward and the bullet missed him. It did, however, do a number on Gethers. The Captain of the ship fell dead without so much as a word.

"Oh no," Brenda moaned.

"You've killed him, Brenda," Janet whispered.

A.J., breathing hard from the battle, pulled himself to his feet. We exchanged glances. I knew what he wanted to do, and he knew what I wanted to do. It just so happened, our wants were the same. I went for Brenda and he went for Janet. Neither woman was prepared, so wrapped up were they in the death of Gethers. We disarmed them quickly.

"Well," I said. "Now what?"

"We get dressed, and get off of this damn boat," A.J. said.

"Good ideas, both of 'em," I agreed. "Let's escort these ladies along with us in case they get silly notions in their pretty heads."

"Another good idea," said my brother. "I have a question to ask them first, though."

"Do ask it," I said.

He looked from one to the other, then concentrated on Janet. "Was this man, this Gethers, was he really the Captain of this ship?"

Janet was looking forlorn by that time. And very confused. It popped into my head she was having difficulties with reality. She answered my brother's question, though, she answered straight and direct. "No, of course not. We hijacked the ship at the point where you got on."

I had a question of my own at that point. "Where is the real captain and crew?"

"They're locked in a holding cell," Brenda told us nastily. "And we won't tell you where that is."

"We'll find them," A.J. said, sounding confident.

"That won't be necessary," Janet joined in again. "I'll tell you."

"No, Janet!" Brenda screeched. "No! You don't want to tell them. If you do----"

Janet swayed and A.J. reached out to grab her. She said, "If I do, this will all be over. I can't wait."

"I think the old Janet is back, kid," I said to my brother as he held his ex-wife in his arms. She was weeping uncontrollably.

He nodded.

*******************************************


A.J.---

I allowed Janet to cry a bit and then pushed her back from me and asked, "Where are they, Janet? Where are the others? Can you take us to them? They can help to clear me."

"And can you tell us where we are, Janet?" Rick asked.

"Yes, yes, I'll do both," she said.



Epilogue

And she did do both. We were in a small harbor off Scotland. The crew of the ship was locked away not far from where I had spent several hours and my brother had joined me for a spell. Rick and I went to the cabin where we had left our clothes, redressed, then set the rightful Captain and his crew free.

I don't want to dwell overlong on the details. Suffice to say, everything turned out well. It was easy enough to prove who the bad guys were. Since I had shot one of them I went to great lengths to explain why I had done so. Janet verified that I had been under the influence of a mind altering drug, given to me through vitamins, for several years. The dosage had been increased when she visited me in San Diego.

As for Janet herself, we learned that she had been under the influence of the same drug, controlled by the fellow she thought was her boy friend, the fellow I shot and killed in the ship's dining room. She was set free as a consequence. Rick argued as vehemently as I for her release. His fame did not hurt her cause one little bit.

And so we are back in San Diego, my brother and me. The "Simon & Simon" sign is being put up as I write in our new office. Mom is happy beyond words that we are back together. Janet and I tried dating a few times, but the chemistry wasn't there. It had not been, we realized, since we originally broke up after returning from Florida. Our marriage had been a sham.

I have reread Rick's book, dwelling on the chapters which I thought had upset me so. Sure, he was a little hard on me in it, but now I see it as all in good fun with no intention to hurt me. That we could have lost so many years together because of a substance in vitamin pills is mind boggling to me.

Today, Rick came to the office toting a sack of junk food. I grinned at him, and he said, "I know what you are gonna say, Kid."

I grinned in return. "Same old Rick."

The end


BACK to the Simon and Simon Fan Fiction page. 1