"Of course, where else would we be going?" Joey asks.
"I don't know . . . just wondered," Pacey replies.
Joey looks at him for a second as they walk towards the restaurant. She's not sure what's going on with them. She gets the feeling Pacey may want to be more than friends . . . but does she want that? She can't be sure. He's a great guy and they have fun together but . . . he's Pacey. She shakes her head, trying to clear her thoughts as they continue walking.
They walk up in front of the Icehouse together and see that it is still pretty busy. Joey turns to Pacey. "On second thought, maybe we don't want to help out. It looks like a madhouse in there."
"Yeah," he agrees. "So, where to?"
"I don't know. Maybe we should just call it a night," she says.
"Okay, if you want to. I'll walk you home," he says. "Oh . . . okay," she says. They turn and start walking in the direction of her house. As they get further away from the restaurant and the noises of the town, the night seems to grow very silent. The only sounds Joey hears are the crickets and frogs chirping to one another in the nearby water. But, the air is also heavy with sounds that can't be heard. Words hang in the air between she and Pacey, unspoken but none the less there. She knows they'll have to get these words out in the open eventually and figure out where they both stand . . . she's just not sure if tonight is the night or not.
"How did I know we'd end up here?" Jen asks as she and Dawson approach the ruins together.
"Well, maybe I'm predictable," he says.
"No, just incredibly romantic," she replies.
Dawson blushes. "So, shall we sit?" he asks.
"Sure," Jen replies and they sit together on the marble steps in front of what was once a beautiful garden. The crumbling fountain before them stands testament to what this place once was: a gift of love from a man to his wife. He'd practically moved heaven and earth to bring her just a little piece of happiness during her final days. The irony was, if their love was so strong that he'd go to these lengths just to see her smile, she probably would have been just as happy without all the flowers and marble and fountains. In the end, she probably only needed him.
"It's so beautiful and sad here," Jen says.
"Yeah," Dawson replies. "It almost feels like traveling back in time, doesn't it?"
"Um hmm," Jen murmurs.
Dawson leans down to kiss her. She responds instantly, returning the kiss. He leans her back against the steps and moves his hands along her sides. As the kisses grow deeper, Jen feels Dawson begin tugging her shirt free from her jeans.
"Dawson, wait . . ." she says against his lips.
"Jen . . ." he says in a persuading tone as he continues kissing her.
"No, Dawson, we can't," she says more forcefully as she pulls free from his embrace. "It's . . . it's just not right."
"What? Why? Tell me Jen, what is it? What am I doing that's so wrong?"
Jen looks at him in the eyes and a sad expression crosses her face. She hasn't wanted to admit it, but she knows why she's reluctant to let Dawson go any farther than an innocent kiss. "Because . . . because when you look at me, I see her in your eyes," she finally says.
"See who . . . Joey?" he asks incredulously.
"Yes," Jen says softly, looking down at her hands as a few tears make their way down her pale cheeks.
"Jen . . ." he says quietly and touches her shoulder.
She pulls back. "No, don't," she says. "I . . . I need to go." She gets up quickly and starts away. He starts to follow her but she turns back around to face him and says, "Please, just let me go."
He watches helplessly as she leaves. He wants to follow her and explain things. But, then he has to wonder what there is to explain. He's so confused about his relationship with Joey right now that he couldn't possibly justify it to anyone else. Finally, Dawson sinks back down to the steps and lays his head in his hands. He sighs, hoping that he'll figure out the answers soon before it all drives him crazy.
"Well, here we are," Pacey says as he and Joey stand on her front porch.
"Yep . . ." she says. "Uh, would you like to come in for a while?" she asks.
"Well . . . sure, okay," he says. He follows her inside and they sit together in the living room. "So . . ." he begins.
"So . . ." she repeats.
"The movie was good," Pacey says.
"Yeah . . ." she agrees. "Pacey, look . . ." she starts.
At the same time, he says, "Joey, listen . . ."
They both laugh. "You first," she says.
"No, go ahead," he says.
"Well, it's just, about what happened earlier . . ."
"You mean at the video store," he replies.
"Yeah . . . I'm not sure what was going on. I mean, you're a good friend and I've had a lot of fun hanging out with you these past few weeks. We have a lot in common and we know each other really well . . ."
"But?" Pacey says, knowing what's coming next.
"But . . . I'm in love with Dawson," she admits. "I hate myself for that and I don't want to be but I can't help it. I'm just afraid that if we moved past friendship I'd just be substituting you for him. I'd hate to do that to you, Pace."
"Yeah, I guess I feel the same way," he says. "I'm probably just trying to find someone to take Tamara's place."
Joey moves closer to him and touches his shoulder. "You know, if you ever want to talk . . ."
"Believe me, I know who to turn to," he tells her with a smile. She returns the smile and they sit together in silence for a while, finally feeling like one thing in their lives is certain. They can always count on each other.
"Hey, you're home early," Pacey says to Dawson as he climbs into his bedroom window.
"Oh, hey Pace," Dawson says miserably from the bed.
"What is it now?" Pacey asks.
"Nothing," Dawson says but it's obviously a lot more than nothing.
"Yeah, right. Spill it," he says as he climbs into the room and sits in a chair beside the bed.
"It's Jen . . . she and I went to the ruins after you and Joey left tonight. Things were going great. We were kissing and . . . then Jen just pulled away all of the sudden. She got up and left."
"Did she say why?" Pacey asks.
"Yeah . . ."
"So? Why?"
"She said . . . she said that when I'm with her . . . that she sees Joey in my eyes. She thinks I think about Joey when I'm with her," he says.
"So, do you?" Pacey asks.
"No! I don't know . . . maybe," Dawson says. "What am I going to do?" he says as he rolls over and buries his head in the pillow.
"You need to figure out what you really want. Then let everyone know what, or who, that is," Pacey says.
"I want Jen," he says.
"You don't seem so sure of that," Pacey says.
"Of course I am. I'm sure," Dawson replies but he doesn't sound very sure.
"Okay, then you need to tell her that. And, you need to tell Joey. You need to get all of this cleared up once and for all, make sure everyone knows where they stand," Pacey says.
Dawson nods but doesn't say anything. Can he really tell Joey that he's sure all they have is friendship? He wants to be with Jen but, in a way, he wants to be with Joey, too. Why does life have to be so damned complicated?
"Well, I better get home. Sleep on it, Dawson. Figure out what you feel for both of them. And, whatever you do, be truthful with yourself," Pacey says. With that, he ducks his head out the window and he is gone.
Dawson lies back against the pillows, thinking about what his friend has said. There has to be an answer to his problems. The only trouble is finding it.
"Hey Jen," Joey says as she walks up to her locker on Monday morning.
Jen turns around, surprised to see Joey actually smiling at her. "Joey, uh, hey. What's up?" she asks curiously, wondering why she's being so nice.
"Nothing. Just thought I'd say hey," she says.
"Oh, okay. Hey, have you seen Dawson?" Jen asks.
"No, I figured he'd be with you. I haven't seen him all day."
"Hmm, that's weird. I hope he's okay."
"I'm sure he is," Joey replies.
Jen gathers her books together and they start walking down the hall together. "Joey, I'm sorry if this seems rude but I just have to ask. Why are you being so nice to me?"
Joey looks at her for a second, wondering how to answer. Finally, she sighs. "Actually, the truth is that I just thought a lot about it this weekend and I realized that we should be friends. Neither of us have any other girl friends and you seem nice enough so . . ."
"And what about Dawson? You don't see that as a slight stumbling block on our road to friendship?" Jen asks.
"Well, I thought about that. But, I guess I realized that Dawson can only be with one of us. And, I'm just glad he didn't choose someone like Abby or Nellie."
Jen laughs at the thought of Dawson with either of those girls. "They'd eat him alive for sure," she agrees.
Joey laughs, too. "See, I knew we could get along," she says. Jen smiles, glad that they've found some common ground. She's still not sure that Dawson has made his final decision but she's not going to let him stand in the way of her friendship with Joey.
"They had lunch together," Pacey says to Dawson as they walk down the hall together after fifth period.
"Lunch? Joey and Jen?" Dawson asks incredulously.
"Yep. Where were you anyway?" he asks.
"I had some stuff to do," Dawson says.
"You mean you were too chicken to face both of them this morning. You stayed home trying to avoid them then felt all guilty for not being at school. It's your Opie complex."
"Gee, I thought I was Richie Cunningham. I must be regressing," Dawson replies.
"Either way," Pacey says. "You're just a do-gooder. You always will be. Be careful my friend. You know where they say nice guys finish."
"Yeah, trust me, been there done that," Dawson says.
"Poor pitiful Dawson," Pacey laments. "Two beautiful woman want him and whatever is he to do?"
"Shut up, you're just jealous anyway," Dawson says.
"Hey, you know me. I'm always looking for action. But, I think you can have this lover's triangle for yourself. I'm moving on to bigger and better things."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dawson asks.
Pacey raises his eyebrows and grins mischievously at his friend before saying, "Co-eds."
Dawson can't help but laugh. "You are way too much."
"That's what they tell me my friend, that's what they tell me," he replies. Dawson continues laughing as they make their way to class.
Jen is standing outside after school talking to Cliff. He's leering at her as usual but she's trying to just be friendly. She's actually waiting for Dawson but she doesn't want to be rude to Cliff. Finally, she spots Dawson and smiles. "Sorry Cliff, I have to go. See you later," she says and dashes off, leaving Cliff standing alone and not looking too happy.
"Dawson, hey," she says as she approaches him.
"Hey," he replies, not sounding too enthusiastic.
"I haven't seen you all day," she says.
"Yeah, it's been a long day," he says. He starts walking away from the school and Jen follows him.
"Are you mad at me about Friday?" she asks.
"Mad? No, why should I be mad. I sort of figured you were mad," he says.
"Not mad, Dawson, more like confused. I really do like you. I just want to know that the feeling is mutual. And I want you to be honest with me about your feelings."
"I'm really trying," he says.
"I know. Let's just not rush into anything, okay?" she says.
"Yeah, okay," he replies. Maybe they can make things work out after all. At least he'll get a chance to try.
Dawson sits in his room pouring over his US history homework. He's been sitting here for hours but he can't seem to concentrate. He's reading a question about Manifest Destiny for about the tenth time when he hears something at the window. He looks over and is surprised to see Joey coming into the room.
"Jo . . . hey . . ."
"Hey," she smiles. "What are you doing?"
"Attempting homework but not making much progress," he tells her. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I was just in the neighborhood," she smiles. "Actually, I haven't talked to you much lately. I wanted to see how you were doing."
He smiles a little. "Fine, I'm fine."
"You and Jen are okay?"
"Yeah, sure. Why would you ask?"
"Pacey mentioned that Jen might be a little . . . put off by me. I really didn't want that, Dawson. I never meant for that to happen. I'm sorry if I screwed things up for you."
"No, you didn't," he assures her. "Actually, we're doing better. I think we'll be okay."
"That's good," Joey says.
"Really? You really feel that way?" Dawson asks, sounding unsure of what she is saying.
"Yeah . . . I mean, things have been weird with us lately. I'm ready to get back to normal. You and Jen seem to have fun together and care about each other a lot. I'm just glad to see you have someone who makes you happy. And I plan to find someone of my own so . . ."
"Anyone I know?" Dawson asks, almost afraid of the answer.
"No, not Pacey so get your mind out of the gutter. Pace and me are just friends. We figured that out pretty quick."
"Well, I hate to say it, but I'm happy to hear that," Dawson admits.
"I know you are," Joey smiles. "I swear, you're always looking over my shoulder, you know that," she teases.
"Someone has to watch out for you Jo. You tend to forget to look before you leap sometimes," he says.
"Yeah, like that day in detention . . . someday I'll learn to keep my big mouth shut."
"No, I think it's good you said all that stuff. Now we can get past it. We can keep being friends without having any secrets between us."
Joey nods at this and tries to believe what Dawson is saying and what she has been telling him. She does want him to be happy. And, if Jen makes him happy, then so be it. She can live with that. Whether she'll really be able to find someone else and get over him is debatable though. She doesn't see it happening but she knows she has to try. And she can't just keep things up with Dawson the way they have been or their friendship is going to suffer. So, Joey knows that, at least for now, she has to sacrifice her own feelings in order to preserve her relationship with her very best friend.
"So, how about we watch a movie?" she says.
"Sure, what movie do you want to watch?"
She smiles, remembering her conversation with Pacey in the tree house a few weeks back. "How about 'Pretty in Pink'?"
Dawson nods, not really knowing the story, which is probably a good thing. They sit down on the bed and watch the movie and it feels almost like old times . . . almost.
