The Lost Boys

Clad only in boxer shorts and a white T-shirt, Dawson walks down the hallway heading for the shower. He is right in front of the bathroom door when a sound from his parent's room makes him stop. As he listens more closely, Dawson realizes the sound he hears is sobbing. And, it's not just any sobbing . . . it's his *mother*.

He walks over to the door to the master bedroom and knocks lightly. "Mom?" he says as he slowly opens the door.

Gayle Leery is sitting on the neatly made bed with her face buried in the palms of her hands. At the sound of Dawson's voice, she jolts up and quickly wipes at her tearstained cheeks and tries to compose herself.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Dawson asks with alarm as he rushes into the room and to her side.

"Nothing honey . . . everything is fine," she lies.

"Mom, I know that's not true," he says. His eyes are filled with fear at what could have his mother so upset. Immediately his thoughts turn to his father. Mitch Leery is away in Boston finalizing the plans to start building his restaurant. What if he wrapped things up with the investors early and headed back on Thursday instead of Friday? What if something happened to the plane and he's . . . 'Oh God!' Dawson thinks. Frantically, he says, "Is it Dad? Please tell me if it is."

His mother looks at him and sees how upset he is getting. She replies, "No, Dawson, honey you're father is fine. This isn't . . ." she chokes up and can't finish her sentence.

"Well, if not that then what?" Dawson asks. His mother can't speak; she just shakes her head sadly through her tears. Dawson lays a hand on her shoulder and says, "Please . . . talk to me . . ."

"I . . . I can't . . . I'm sorry honey. It's just something I have to deal with on my own," she tells her son.

"Well, I'm not leaving you like this," he states emphatically. "There is no way I am going to school today and leave you so upset."

"You have to Dawson," she insists. "I need to think some things through. Please . . ." she looks at him with a pleading expression. "I promise, I'll be okay."

"But Mom . . ." he starts.

"No," she cuts him off. "I'm serious about this, Dawson. You need to go to school today."

"I . . ." he looks at his mother and sees she is not going to listen to his reasoning. "Okay, fine. But call if you need me . . . I can come straight home," he says.

"I know, thank you sweetheart." She smiles weakly at her son and he squeezes her hand. "Go on and get ready for school," she says.

"Okay," Dawson nods but his worried gaze lingers on his mother for another moment before he finally turns back to the door to leave.

Gayle watches him leave and, after she hears the bathroom door close, she collapses in tears once again.

Joey hears a horn honk out front and knows her ride for school has arrived. She grabs her books and dashes for the door. "Bye Bess, bye Bodi," she calls towards the kitchen as she leaves.

Pacey smiles at her as she walks out. "Good morning. Your chariot awaits m'lady," he says with an exaggerated bow towards the Witter family station wagon.

Joey giggles at him and rolls her eyes. He is standing in front of the car and grinning at her. "What's the deal with you today?" she asks as she walks towards the car. Pacey quickly goes to her side to open the door for her.

"Me?" he asks. "What are you talking about? I'm as normal as ever."

"You know, coming from Pacey Witter I have *no* clue what that means!" she says with a laugh.

Pacey gets in on the driver's side and smirks. "Very funny," he replies.

"Seriously Pace . . . what's gotten into you? Why are you in such a good mood?" she asks. There is a certain weariness to her voice as she tries to decipher what is going on with him.

Pacey fidgets in his seat. "Nothing," he insists. "I really don't know what you are talking about."

She continues to stare at him suspiciously. "Hey," she says suddenly, "you have keys!" she indicates the set of car keys he is using at that moment to crank the station wagon.

"Huh? Oh . . . yeah," he replies absently. His thoughts are very scattered this morning. Joey was right about something being up with him, he's just not ready to tell her about it yet.

"So?" she questions.

"So . . ." Pacey says, lost as to what they are discussing.

"The keys dummy! Did you steal them from Doug or what?" she asks.

"Oh . . . no, my mom let me drive today. I turned 16 last week. She finally just decided to let me take the car so I'd stop hot wiring it I guess."

"Cool, so you're picking me up for school from now on then?" she asks with a sly grin.

Pacey replies, very seriously, "Of course."

"You're weird today, Pace; weirder than usual even. I'm going to get to the bottom of this one way or another," Joey says.

Pacey just squirms uncomfortably in the driver's seat and tries to formulate a plan in his mind as to what his next step will be.

"Dawson! Hey, wait up!" Jen calls as she rushes down the sidewalk towards him. Dawson is just getting ready to enter the front door of Capeside High School. He turns and sees Jen and stops to wait for her.

As Jen approaches, she notices how dazed Dawson looks. She can tell he's upset about something. This immediately saddens Jen. In the past few weeks, ever since that weekend Joey got sick, she has seen a distance growing between Dawson and herself. She knows what this means . . . they are growing apart. She's seen this coming but, still, it's hard.

"Dawson, what's wrong? Are you okay?" she asks.

"I don't know," he says miserably.

Jen leads him over to a nearby bench and they both sit. The quad is clearing out as time for homeroom grows closer and they are practically the last ones left in front of the school now. "What's going on? What happened?" she questions in a concerned voice.

Dawson looks at her with a rather lost expression and says, "I honestly don't know . . . Something is going on, but I'm not sure what it is."

"Do you feel like talking?" she asks.

"No, not really," he says. He sees a rather hurt look cross her face and he quickly says, "I'm sorry Jen. I just meant . . ."

"I know, it's okay," she assures him. The bell rings, signaling that they are both late for homeroom.

"We'd better go," she says as she gets up.

Dawson gets up, too. "Great," he rolls his eyes. "I can't wait until this day is over," he says and the two of them walk together towards the school.

"Hey Jo, how was marine biology this morning? Enlightening as usual?" Pacey asks as he meets her beside her locker after first period.

"Yeah," Joey rolls her eyes, "fantastic as ever."

"Did you finish your term paper yet?" he asks.

"Yep, turned it in last week," she says as she rummages through her locker trying to find her geometry notebook.

"Always trying to show us average students up," he teases.

"Oh Pace, you're not average. An average grade would be a C, and since you are pulling a stellar D minus, I'd say . . ."

"Don't ever start!" he cuts her off. "Like Deputy Doug hasn't reamed me enough." Joey grins and shuts her locker as they start down the hall together. "I'm sorry, I'm only teasing. You know, I have to take Doug's side on this just a little though."

"You think I'm the town loser, too?" he asks.

"No, of course not. I just think you don't try hard enough. You're not dumb; you just don't care. If you spent a little less time trying to displease your family just to spite them, you might find that applying yourself actually makes you feel better about who you are."

He looks over at her and smiles slightly. "Thanks Jo. I know in some ways you're right . . . sometimes I just think that I've wasted too much time goofing off to ever really turn my life around. Ten years from now, I'll probably be right where I am now, only with less hair." He laughs, but stops when he sees the look Joey gives him.

"Don't . . . this isn't a joke. You never give yourself enough credit," she says.

"But you do . . . and that means a lot more to me," he replies. They are stopped now in front of the door to her next class. The look Pacey gives her is intense, more intense than she ever expected from him. She starts to say something but then she sees Dawson and Jen approaching.

"Hey guys!" she calls over. She's not entirely happy to see them together, but she's not surprised either. Dawson hasn't been spending as much time with Jen lately, but technically they are still going out.

"Hey," Jen says as they walk over to Joey and Pacey. Dawson just nods and smiles. Joey knows immediately that something is wrong. She gives him a look and he looks away. "Um, Joey?" Jen says. "Can I talk to you?"

"Uh . . . yeah, sure," Joey replies and they walk together a little further down the hall. Pacey and Dawson stay behind. Dawson is too worried to notice the girls and Pacey is too busy trying to figure out what's going on with Dawson.

"You okay, man? You don't look so hot," he says.

"I'm fine, it's just . . . I'm fine," Dawson replies.

"Yeah, okay," Pacey says skeptically.

Meanwhile, Jen and Joey are talking quietly on the other end of the corridor. "What's wrong with him?" Joey asks.

"That's what I'd like to know," Jen says. "He's really upset, but he won't tell me why. He just has that look on his face every time I see him today. So, I was hoping, maybe, you'd talk to him?"

"Me? Why me?" Joey asks.

"Oh come on, don't give me that! He's your best friend. You know as well as I do that if he is going to talk to anyone, it'll be you."

Joey sighs, "Alright, you're right." They start back over to the guys just as the bell rings.

"I gotta go, see you ladies," Pacey says.

"Bye Pace," Jen calls and Joey waves. "Well, I better get to class. Bye."

"Later Jen," Joey says.

"Bye," Dawson says weakly.

"Dawson, you going to class?" Joey asks once they are alone. Hardly anyone is left in the hall and the late bell will ring in the next thirty seconds.

Dawson shrugs, "I dunno."

"Okay, what is it?" she asks.

"What's what?"

"You know, what's wrong? You're acting very strange," Joey says.

"You're going to be late, Jo," he says.

"I don't care, Dawson! I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about you. What's your deal?"

"It's . . . it's . . . that's just it, I have no idea! I don't know what's wrong," he says in frustration.

"Then how can you be so sure something is wrong? Maybe whatever it is isn't what you think," Joey says.

"No, something is up. My mom . . . she's really upset, I mean *really* upset. I can just feel it; something is going to happen. And I don't think it's gonna be good."

"Well, until it happens worrying about it won't get you anywhere. Why don't you just try to put it out of your mind and tonight you can talk to your mom about it."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he says.

"Of course I am. Now, we had better get to class before we both get detention. I'll see you at lunch, okay?"

"Yeah, okay, bye Jo," he says and heads off towards his next class. She watches him go and wonders what could be going on with his mom. She figures she will find out soon enough and turns to go to her own class.

Gayle lifts her head to look at the clock on the bedside table. She's surprised to find that it's almost 11 o'clock in the morning . . . she's been lying here for three hours. She gets up and walks over to the master bathroom. Looking in the mirror, she sees the bloated cheeks and puffy, red eyes that are telltale signs of her morning-long crying spree. She splashes her face with cold water but isn't able to help her appearance much. It doesn't matter though . . . nothing really matters except what she has done . . .

The biggest mistake of her life . . . that's what this might turn out to be. She could lose everything she has, all that she has worked for, everything she loves, in one fell swoop. The thought sends a shiver down her spine. It would be so easy to run and hide from this. All she'd have to do is leave . . . but what would she be left with then? No, if she doesn't face things she cannot go on. Running away would only hurt Mitch and Dawson more, and they of all people deserve more from her. She owes them the truth, and soon enough they will both have it.

Dawson is relieved when the last bell rings, signaling the end of this day. It's been one of the longest days he can remember. He was late to three of his six classes. He can't remember one thing that any of his teachers said all day. One thing is for sure; it was pretty much a waste of eight hours. Gathering his books, Dawson heads down the hallway until he runs into Pacey. "Hey, how's it going Gilligan? You seen Ginger and Mary Ann lurking around here anywhere?" Pacey asks.

"Nope, sorry," Dawson replies.

"What's wrong man? You still down in the dumps?" Pacey asks.

"Nah, it's nothing, I'm fine," he says.

"Yeah, that's what you keep telling me, but . . ."

"Well, there you are," Joey says as she and Jen round the corner. "We've been looking for you two everywhere."

"Ah, our fellow castaways have arrived!" Pacey smirks.

"Whatever, so are you taking us home or what?" Joey asks.

"But of course. The Witter family limousine awaits your arrival my sweet," he says.

Joey rolls her eyes and Jen giggles. "Don't laugh, that only makes him worse," Joey tells her. They all walk towards the exit, laughing as Joey and Pacey swap insults.

"See you guys later. Hey, call me later, okay Dawson?" Joey says as he and Jen get out of Pacey's car in front of their houses.

"Yeah, okay. Bye," he says. Jen waves and Pacey pulls off and heads towards Joey's house.

"What do you suppose is going on with him?" Joey asks.

"I don't know, but for someone who told me she was going to stop being interested in him, you sure do like to talk about the guy."

"He's still my friend, Pacey," she says.

"Friend, yeah, okay," he mumbles.

"What's that mean?" she demands.

"Nothing, did I say something?" he asks, feigning innocence.

"Hmm," Joey says but doesn't carry the conversation any further. She's too worried about Dawson to bother with an argument with Pacey anyway.

"What? You what? I . . . God, I cannot believe this!" Mitch Leery yells. He appears suddenly at the top of the stairs and starts thundering down them.

"Mitch, wait!" Gayle says as she follows behind him, but he doesn't stop. He just keeps walking away.

"Dad?" Dawson says in confusion. Mitch finally stops and looks to see his son. "What's going on?" he asks.

Mitch sighs heavily and looks back at Gayle. Then, with the most hurt, pained expression Dawson has ever seen, he says, "Ask your mother." After that, he grabs one of his suitcases and leaves, slamming the door behind him.

Gayle collapses on the stairs in tears. Dawson rushes over to her. "Mom? Mom, what's happening? What's going on?" Dawson asks.

"I . . . something awful has happened," she responds.

"Oh, come on, how awful could it be?" he asks. But, he knows it must be pretty bad for his dad to leave like that.

She looks up at him and, with tears streaming down her face, says, "I'm pregnant, Dawson."

His expression is one of pure shock. It takes a minute just for what she has said to sink in. Then, the questions all bombard him at once. There's so much to ask. But, ultimately one question stands out. "Is it Dad's?"

His mother looks completely broken and alone as she says, "I don't know, Dawson, I just don't know."

"Dawson? You in here?" Joey asks as she pulls back the curtains and eases into the window she has gone in and out of a hundred times. It's about eight o'clock and just barely dark out so she can see Dawson lying on his back on the bed. "You didn't call me, I got worried," she says as she stands inside the room. He doesn't answer so she walks over to the bed.

In the dim light she can hardly see his face so she switches on a lamp. Immediately she can see the tear stains on his cheeks. "What happened?" she asks with concern.

He wipes at his cheeks with the back of his hand and flips off the lamp. "Nothing," he says.

"No way, you are *not* going to give me that!" she insists. She sits down beside him on the bed. "What happened to best friends . . . forever?"

"Nothing is forever, Jo," he replies with a sullen voice that is very out of character for him.

"This coming from Mr. Optimistic himself? The king of the rose-colored glasses theories on life? No, there's a lot you aren't telling me and I am not letting you weasel out of it this easily. Talk to me, tell me what's wrong," she says gently.

Dawson's bottom lip quivers slightly but he struggles to keep himself together. "I think my parents are getting a divorce. My dad is in a hotel tonight," he says flatly.

"Oh . . . I'm sorry," she replies. "But . . . you had to kind of know this might happen after the affair . . ."

"That's not the worst part," he cuts her off.

"Then what is?" she asks.

"My mom . . . she's pregnant, and it might be Bob's kid."

"Wha- . . . Oh my God . . . you're kidding . . ." Joey shakes her head, not sure whether to believe her ears. "Wow, that's . . . well, pretty shocking. So, I'm guessing that's why your dad left then?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I can hardly blame him."

"Well, is your mom going to find out? I mean, whose it is, is she going to have tests or something?"

"She can't. The doctor said at her age that the test they do would put the fetus at risk. It won't really be safe until the fourth month and by then . . . well, it's too late to do anything. Not like she would anyway . . . I don't know, I mean, I'm mad at my dad for leaving her like this but then again I'm mad at her for putting us in this situation. I feel like I'm losing them both. I'm losing everything . . ." Dawson's eyes fill with tears and he squeezes them shut. He's sitting up beside Joey now and she wraps her arms around him.

"You're not losing me . . . you're never losing me," she says. He pulls his arms around her and lets her hold him, happy to finally be comforted by someone. They sit for what seems like forever without so much as a word passing between them.

Finally, Dawson pulls back. "Thank you. Thanks for being here."

"I'm always here when you need me, you know that," she says.

"Will you stay? Will you sleep here tonight? I don't want to be alone," he says. Joey smiles a little. "Sure, of course I will."

He smiles back and gets up so they can pull back the covers. They climb in the bed together, just like they have a million times since they were five years old. Dawson reaches over to flip on the radio. A song by Beth Nielsen Chapman is just coming on. They lie there together and listen . . .

You can say you love me
And I'll believe that's true
Trusting you is easy
Cause I believe in you
There is nothing that I would miss
As long as we're in love like this

All I have is all I need
And it all comes down to you and me
How far away this world becomes
In the harbor of each other's arms

I feel like I've known you forever and ever
Baby that's how close we are
Right here with you is where my life has come together
And where love has filled my heart
You know I'd go anywhere
As long as I have you to care

All I have is all I need
And it all comes down to you and me
How far away this world becomes
In the harbor of each other's arms . . .

Dawson is listening to the words and thinking just how true they are to him. He loves Joey . . . no matter what. If he could only have one thing to count on, he'd pick her. He smiles, glad that she's there with him. He reaches over and grabs her hand. She's surprised, but she squeezes his hand and smiles as he looks over at her. Something is said between them, without even a word. 'I love you,' Dawson thinks, but he doesn't say it. He doesn't want to risk losing her. For now at least, thinking it is enough.

They lie there, holding hands and staring at the ceiling, each one lost in thought. They don't say anything; they just listen as the song finishes . . .

Ooh and with the love you bring
I never want for anything
I've found what I've been searching for in you
All I have is all I need
And it all comes down to you and me
How far away this world becomes
In the harbor of each other's arms . . .