Star Wars Jokes
With lightsabers drawn about to commence an almighty battle of good over evil.
Suddenly, in the middle of fight Vader pulls Skywalker to him and whispers:
"I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS, LUKE. IT'S TRUE, LUKE, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS!"
Skywalker tried to ignore this but couldn't in the end. He wrenched himself free and yells:
"How can you know this!?!"
Vader replied "I FELT YOUR PRESENTS..."
Which Star Wars character walks across roads without using crosswalks?
Luke Jaywalker.
What do you get when you cross an astromech droid with the Invisible Man?
Artoo-See Through.
What do you get when you cross a Star Wars character and a butterfly?
Grand Moth Tarkin
What is a baseball player's favorite trilogy movie?
The Umpire Strikes Bat
It was a hot summer's day, and Luke was in the marina, having a few beers aboard his boat, patriotically named the "Fourth of July." He was waiting for his friend, Opie, to arrive so they could go for a cruise. Opie was late, unfortunately, because he had to pick up his wife from her appointment with the obstetrician. Her examinations were cheap because the doctor, a fellow named Juan, was Opie's cousin. Anyway, the appointment went over time, and Opie was late getting to the marina.
Luke had been drinking all this time, and was feeling no pain. When he saw Opie finally walking down the pier, he jumped up, staggered to the side of the boat to wave to his friend, and nearly fell in! Opie got there just in time to grab Luke.
. . . Thus, it was that O. B. Juan's kin, Opie, saved Luke from falling to the dock side of the Fourth.
Q. What goes ha-ha-ha-thump?
A. A droid laughing its head off
Two droids were talking to each other. The first one asked, "Did you beat the Wookiee at Sabacc?" The second one answered, "Yes, but it cost me an arm and a leg."
Q. How many stormtroopers does it take to change a glowpanel?
A. Two: one to change it, and the other to shoot him and take credit for the work.
Q. How long does Luke Skywalker need to sleep?
A. One Jedi Knight
Q. What's the difference between an AT-AT and a stormtrooper on foot?
A. One's an Imperial walker; the other's a walking Imperial.
Q. Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?
A. Because he's always making new friends
Q. Which side of an Ewok has the most fur?
A. The outside
Q. Which Star Wars character uses lunch meat for a weapon instead of a saber?
A. Obi Wan Baloney
Q. Which movie features Harrison Ford as a guy who stays up all night watching T.V.?
A. Return of the Red Eye
Q. Which Star Wars character lives in a pound?
A. Jabba The Mutt.
Q. Which Star Wars character likes to chew gum?
A. Chewie
Q.Which Grandma is a high rank in the empire?
A. GrandmAff Tarkin
A ham sandwich walks into The Mos Eisley cantina and the cantina-bartender says, "Get out, we don't serve food here!"
Luke: I must leave
Leia: Leave? Why?
Luke: Because..Darth Vader is my Father
Leia: Your father?
Luke: Yes, and i know what he's getting for Christmas
Leia: For Christmas?
Luke: Yes,....I have felt his presents