Top Twenty Surprises In The "New Remastered" Star Wars
Top Twenty Surprises In The Digitally Remastered Star Wars
- New scene in which Chewbacca teaches Han Solo how to lick himself.
- The commercial tie-in appearance of Jabba's big brother, Pizza the Hut.
- Newly-colorized Darth Vader is mauve.
- Jabba the Butt-head saying "Hehe...hehe...she said, 'Lay ya.'"
- During one lonely night, Princess Leia finds R2D2's special attachment.
- Anti-fur activists from planet PETA spray Chewbacca with red paint.
- He might not look as fearsome as before, but that Primatene Mist of Darth Vader's seems to have helped his breathing immensely.
- Added scene in which Tonya Harding whacks Princess Leia on the knee with a light saber.
- Luke accused of killing ex-wife and advised by Obi Wan to "Use the Fifth, Luke."
- Han, Luke, Obi-Wan and C3PO now sporting bitchin' goatees.
- Revealing scene in the bathroom shows how "Han Solo" got his name.
- New scene where Luke shakes JFK's hand and tells him he has to pee.
- The X-Wing pilot who blows up the Death Star? Richard Jewell.
- Dismembered victim of Obi-Wan Kenobi's light saber in bar scene none other than John Wayne Bobbitt.
- Commander of the Death Star: Dr. Kevorkian .
- Land speeders replaced with bitchin' pink Miatas.
- Comic relief provided by Cheech Marin as Luke Skywalker's wacky Mexican caddy.
- Darth Vader's voice goes up three octaves after Dennis Rodman kicks him in the groin.
- Instead of "May the force be with you," Obi-Wan Kenobi says, "Show me the money!".
- Cameo appearance by Bob Dole as Yoda's great-great-grandfather.
- Luke and Darth Vader work together to beat the crap out of a bunch of Trekkies.
- New scene in which Jabba the Hut is hugged by a sobbing Richard Simmons.
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