He'd watched them.  Yes, they were happy.  Everyone had told him that, and now, from the shadows, he could very clearly see it for himself.  He'd left her, but he never thought she'd accept it.  Deep down somewhere in the depths of his soul he believed, maybe even unconsciously, that she'd come to him.  His Brenda would find a way.  She always did.  But that fateful day was one year ago, and though Sonny had to see her today, had to re-etch the contours of her face into his heart, it was painfully obvious that she didn't have the same impulse.  There she was, laughing that beautiful laugh, sitting with her fiance‚ on his bench, their bench.  Sonny felt his blood run cold, how could she do that, share their special memories with him.  There was always a part of  her that was selfish, even spiteful.  Sometimes just indifferent.  Sonny softened as he watched her.  That's how it was now, she honestly just wasn't thinking about what it meant for her to be in that certain place with another man.  He focused on the pitch of her voice, the graceful movements of her hands, her smile, her long flowing brown hair, the inviting nape of her silky neck, the sweet hollow behind her left knee.  Then the memory of her beneath him, begging him to take her,
screaming his name in ecstacy.  The feel of her so close that she was him, and he, her.  Her moist, hot treasure tightening around him, taking him to heights he'd never know again.  He was startled back to reality with the movement of Brenda and Jax rising and walking up the stairs, hand in hand, in a comfortable silence.

    That's when it hit Sonny.  She wasn't happy, she was comfortable.  Jax demanded nothing of her emotionally or otherwise.  She could do or be nothing but his perfect angel.  She probably enjoyed that feeling of trust and acceptance, but it wasn't what she needed, what Sonny knew she wanted.  She needed to be driven to levels Jax could never dream of.  She needed to be ravaged and challenged beyond life's restraints both emotionally and physically.  That's how she made love with Sonny, frantically, eating him alive, as if she needed to melt right into him, becoming his forever.  And she did, become his forever.  Sonny knew she couldn't really stay away from him, not if she had the choice.  She needed him somewhere so deep inside it was carnal, primal.  It was instinctive.  He stayed out of sight watching them for an hour, then slowly a plan began to sneak into his head.

    He found he wanted her more than he ever had, his body ached with the raw need of it, and it wasn't going to change.  He would have her before the night was out, and it would be completely her choice, just like it always was in their wonderful, turbulent past.  Sonny retreated to the shadows to sort out all the details in his mind.

    The shining moon was bright and full and showing all it's peaks and valleys when Sonny made the phone call.  He knew Jax would be there, and he relished in it.  He wanted, more than anything in the world, to have a chance to love Brenda the way she'd always deserved to be loved.  He wanted to have the chance to be the man he intended to be that fateful September day.  But he'd changed some.  He wouldn't trick her, or use anything but the cold, hard truth to get through to her.   He felt a
pleasurable rush at the idea that he'd talk to her with Jax in the room.  Sonny knew she wouldn't let on it was him on the phone.  And there, in that All-American living room, with that sickeningly sweet relationship, there is where the first secret will be born.

    Brenda answered the phone on the third ring, out of breath, like she'd run to it.  "Hello."

    Sonny couldn't speak for a couple of seconds, the exhilaration was consuming him.  His pulse was racing, but he wanted to appear calm, very, very calm.  "Hello, Brenda."  There was a silence that followed, not uncomfortable like the kind people have when they have no idea what to say next, but the kind people have when they have too much to say that they're desperately trying to find a place to start.  Sonny was determined this was all going to be about Brenda, her idea, her choice.  He showed himself to her, but the rest was all her.  So he remained silent.

    Brenda spoke quietly as if she were trying to hide something, "Sonny.  What is it?  Did something happen?"

    "No. Nothing like you're thinking.  Is Candyboy there?"

   "He's upstairs.  We were painting."

   "Sounds exciting."

   "Sonny, why are you calling?  Are you calling to see if I've thought about you today?   I haven't forgotten everything you know."

     (sarcastically)  "Really??"

     (almost hissing) "What is it, Sonny?"

     "Come to me, Brenda."

     "What is going on with you?  Why won't you just be straight with me?"

    "Ask me anything, I'll tell you anything you want to know."

    "Right.  I remember.  But, that's a lie, Sonny."

     "It was when I first said it, about certain things.  It's not now, about anything."

     "When did you come back?"

     "Today."

     "Why?"

     "You."

     "Sonny, what do you want?"

    "Come to me tonight."

     (whispering still) "No."

    "Well then, I guess this is goodbye.  See ya later Brenda."

    Brenda has the feeling you get when something you want desperately is just about to be out of your reach, like if you don't grab it, the opportunity's lost forever, she's anxiously looking around the penthouse and her heart is racing.  She reaches up shakily with her left hand and wipes the sweat from her forehead.  Then, just when she senses he has almost hung up, she urgently calls for him.  "Wait, Sonny."

    Sonny's smiling from ear to ear, he knew her reaction like he knows his own.  That's how he knows Brenda, inside and out, better than he knows himself.  He deliberately stays silent just to intensify the moment.  Then Brenda's shrill voice rings painfully in his ear.  "Sonny, (quieter now) are you there?"

    "All except my right eardrum, baby.  Why'd you do that, huh?"

    "I hate it when you turn things around so you're the poor, innocent victim."

    "As much as I love listening to your beautiful voice, especially so full of emotion, I'm ready to get this show on the road.   You seem to be a little indecisive about what you want to do tonight.  Let me clear it up for you."

    (sarcastically) "Oh, would you?  Thank you, Sonny."

    "The way I see it, you got two choices.  You can stay with Candyboy and do the Outback dinner thing, then go home, do the couch thing, then. . ."
 

    (frustrated) "How, how di did you know, th   the couch, have you been spying on me?"

    "Brenda, I've always known everything about you, I make it my business.  Now where was I?  Oh yeah, then go to sleep and wake up in that nauseating tooth rottening penthouse of yours next to Goldenboy and eat yogart for breakfast.  Or.  Or you can come to me completely on faith and let me remind you that you are alive.   Two choices.  Simple, right?"
 
    "Shh, he's coming.  Robin, it'll all work out, you'll see."

    "Brenda, he can't hear me through the phone.  I want an answer."

    "No."

    "Bye Brenda."

    "No, wait, that's not what I meant (glances in Jax's direction), Robin, I need a little time to come up with an idea okay."

    "Yes or no?"

    "I really can't. . ."

    "Say it, Brenda, I want to hear you say the words."

    "Yes, I'll come to you."

    Sonny's entire body was riddled with heated adrenaline.  He wasn't prepared for the thrill of having her choose him and betray Jax while Jax looked on oblivious to what was going on.  He knew in that instant Brenda would do anything he ever asked of her, and he planned to ask a hell of a lot.

    "I'm at the new Plaza down by the docks.  Think you can find your way back twice in the same 24 hours?"

    "Sure.  (oh so sweetly) We have lots and lots to discuss, Robin.  Bye."
 
    Sonny hung up the phone with a smile playing the edges of his mouth.  He lit countless candles so all you could see in the room were dancing shadows.  The incense was burning filling the air with a combination of smokey cinnamon and intoxicating spices.  Sonny had long since disconnected the smoke alarms, he wanted nothing to hinder this night.  He had rented a suite on the top floor under the name Michael Corbin.   He had placed all the "special items" in a drawer right next to the bed.  Some of the things he and Brenda had already done, some he'd come up with while they were separated.  None had he done with anyone else, and he was sure neither had she.  It was when they were making love that the trust was strongest between them.  He trusted her implicitly, would do or say anything she asked.  Often he'd been the object of her fantasies, some sweet, some chivalrous, some downright kinky.  But, she'd rarely been his toy.  Sure, he'd worshiped her, adored her, consumed her
every pore, but now he found he wanted her complete submission.  That, he'd never asked of her, but tonight he would demand it.  He showered and shaved applying her favorite aftershave.  His hair was slicked back, and he wore black slacks and a black silk shirt.  His shoes were Italian leather.  He applied his cologne and checked himself in the mirror.  He looked good, damn good.
 
    Champagne was chilling and strawberries were succulent and waiting for their part in tonight's festivities.  Sonny had created his own special blend of oils from the exotic ones he'd purchased.  It was heated oil, and it was ready and waiting.

    The knock at the door was cautious and soft.  Sonny heard it, but walked to the next room out of sight.  There came a second louder knock.  Then, the door opened only slightly and Brenda called his name.  She saw she was alone, and she walked further into the room, closing the door behind her. Her breath caught deep in her throat as she took in the sight before
her.  The candles were so beautiful, and the entire atmosphere was captivating.  It was warm and musky and sexy as hell.  Brenda could feel herself, the anticipation was already exciting her.  Just his proximity, the closeness of him always pulled her in, made her want to tear into him.  Her whole body was glowing with a slight perspiration, partly due to the heat of the room, and partly due to the heat raging within Brenda's own veins.   She slowly took everything in, her eyes settling on a note propped up on the table.  She gingerly walked over and picked it up.  It read simply.  "I've drawn you a bath filled with oil and foam."

    Brenda glanced around looking for some sign of Sonny.  She couldn't see him, but she could feel him.  His intensity was overwhelming, and Brenda hesitated only slightly before heading up the stairs.  She walked into the oversized bathroom and was amazed and pleased at what she saw.  The tub was enormous.  There were a few candles lighting the room and a crackling fire burned in the far corner. Soft music, something they'd danced to before, was flowing through the air.  Brenda realized Sonny wanted her to bathe, he wanted her to feel the warmth and pleasure of his oily paradise.  She knew right then that
something was different.  If she did as he wanted, the night was his.  She would deny him nothing after that first step was taken.  Then something else struck her.  She wanted the night to be his.  She would be whatever he asked, do whatever he asked of her.  The thoughts running through her mind were so erotic and she found herself getting lost in the euphoria of it.  It had been so long since she felt herself spilling over with delight this way.

    Brenda was sure he was watching her, so she decided to make a permanent impression on his gorgeous brown eyes. She undid the buttons of her shirt very slowly, making sure her reflection was caught in the wall-length mirror.  Brenda laid her head
sideways and let the music take her over.  It was a slow, languid melody.  She rolled her head backwards and closed her eyes as she let her shirt drop to the floor.  Then, she reached inside the front of her skirt with the tips of her fingers and massaged her soft skin for a moment.  She could've sworn she heard Sonny's sharp intake of air as she continued sliding the skirt from her long, smooth legs.  She then shed her bra and panties much the way an exotic dancer would, swaying back and forth as her long brown hair tickled her bare back.  She stepped out of her shoes, and stood before him, her invisible lover, for a long moment before gliding into the steamy water.  She was there for an eternity it seemed.  Her head filled with fantasies, memories, longing, dreams.  As she soaked in the slippery, scented, foamy water, her anticipation grew.  Her body was alive and tingling with the mystery of what was to come.  The longer she laid in that heavenly bath, the more she could feel her body aching with need.  Sonny, by doing nothing, had succeeded in taking  her to a point of exquisite suffering.  She had time to think and want and she wanted him badly, never this badly.

    Sonny appeared in the bathroom doorway still fully dressed and holding an open towel.  His voice was low and filled with the sexiest whisper.  "Brenda, it's time."  As she met his eyes, she felt faint from the wave of emotion sweeping through her.  Her eyelids fluttered, then opened leaving her eyes to gaze into his with complete and total love.   God, the things he did to her just by looking at her.  She rose from the water, a vision with her skin shining from the oils, her hair dampened only at its ends, her eyes a clear and glowing window to her very soul.  In that moment she was completely vulnerable.  And Sonny
fought his own urge to take her right there.  She walked into the towel feeling Sonny's hands drying her skin gently.  Her eyes closed on their own at the sensuousness of his touch.  Even through the fabric of the towel, his touch was pure electricity.  "I want to see your eyes."  Brenda opened them immediately, finding them again locked to Sonny's gaze.  "Why did you come, Brenda?"

    She answered honestly before even thinking about it.  "I needed to see you."

   "Why?"    He asked her this while still drying her bare skin.

   "You asked me to."

   "So, even after all this time apart, our connection is still that strong?  You'll do as I ask, just because I ask you to?"

   Brenda was beyond pride or shame, and she answered reverently, "Always,  Sonny."

  "I'll ask more of you tonight than you could imagine.  I will not hurt  you, Brenda.  The only pain you'll feel will make you want to scream in passion.  I'll take you on a journey from which you'll never recover.  Do I have your permission?"

  Brenda's heart nearly leapt from her body, so full of rapture was it.  All she'd dreamt about for so long, all she knew in her soul, all she loved and trusted was standing not one inch from her naked body asking her to submit to his demands.   How had she lived without him, how had she given him up?  The sensations were sending chills down her spine.  Never in her life had she wanted something or someone this badly.  Pleasing Sonny suddenly became her number one priority.  She nodded her head.

 He continued kneading erotically at her body through the towel.  His voice was low and hypnotic.  Brenda's body was writhing beneath his touch.   "First, there are a few rules for the evening.  You are mine, mine to do with as pleases me.  You will not speak to me unless I have asked you a direct question.  You will follow my orders without hesitation and without question.  You will address me as Mr. Corinthos.  This is the last you'll see of this towel or any other thing that covers your body.  I want everything about your body totally accessible to me at all times.  I realize, Brenda, that this is different rom anything even we have done, so if it upsets you, tell me now."  Brenda couldn't speak even if she wanted to.  Her entire body was already on the threshold of some phenomenal climax.  What Sonny was describing was something she'd fantasized about a million times.  But
she'd never had the courage to initiate it, and now she didn't have
to.  Her mind reeled in blissful delirium.
 
     Sonny watched her eyes so full of excitement and his heart overflowed with love for her.  He'd wanted to please her, make her alive again, remind her who he was, who she was, and he'd hoped he'd chosen the best   way, the most pleasurable way, for her.  Looking into her trusting dark brown eyes he now knew this was exactly what she wanted, he was exactly   what she wanted.  He could see and feel how much she loved him.  Nothing  had diminished, just like she had once told him it wouldn't.   He could already tell this would be a night of him fighting himself off of   her.  He wanted her so much, he wanted to feel himself inside of her,     drowning in her luscious, ripe body.  But that had to wait, just for a  little while.  Sonny dropped the towel to the floor letting his fingers run up and down the sides of her body, from her breasts to her hips, then back up in slow burning strokes.  He was still standing directly in front of her and holding her eyes mercilessly.  She wanted so much to give in to her desire, to reach up and begin kissing this man who she loved.  But she wanted to please Sonny most of all, and her standing there completely  nude while he, completely clothed, claimed her body with his fiery touch,   well it was a turn on beyond anything she'd ever known.  When he spoke it was in a low, kind tone.  "Brenda, do you forgive me?"

    Brenda, completely thrown by his pleading eyes spoke without even thinking.  "Sonny, I. . ."

    Abruptly Sonny pushed her from him and turned walking to the bedside table leaving Brenda confused and flustered.  He retrieved something from the drawer and Brenda's eyes grew wide as she realized what it was.  He took the long thin strap and fingered the length of it with both his hands.  He was slowly walking back toward her now as he wrapped one end of it tightly around his right hand several times. "Turn around."

   Brenda obeyed, her eyes shining with the anticipation of the tears.  She knew what she had done, and her eyes fluttered closed as Sonny's lips grazed her soft skin just before the first stinging blow was felt.   He whipped her hard, leaving several thin red imprints on her ripe behind.  She knew he'd restrained himself though.  He could have caused real damage but that wasn't what he wanted.  He wanted to punish her for her insolence.  She'd agreed to his terms, and then she violated them.  She was determined not to cry out.  Sonny had been right, this was making her want to scream in passion, she wouldn't have believed it
possible but she wanted him even more now.   She signed audibly as she felt his soft lips again covering the places he'd marked.   Sonny, then, turned her round to face him again, his eyes literally burning into hers.  Her face was hiding nothing.   She desired him and Sonny thought she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. His voice was again kind and gentle.

    "Try again, Brenda.  Do you forgive me?"

    This time Brenda looked directly through his eyes to his very soul as she spoke softly and confidently.  "Yes, Mr. Corinthos."  Sonny's smile of satisfaction almost threw her right over the edge.

     His hands were roaming over her body sensuously teasing her nipples ever so often.  "Do you know I forgive you for the wire?"

     "Yes, Mr. Corinthos."

    "But there's something else.  Something you've done that is even more the  ultimate betrayal.  Do you know what I'm referring to, Brenda?"

    Brenda's mind went into overdrive, desperately trying to figure out what she ever possibly could've done that was worse than the wire.  Sonny tilted his head slightly narrowing his eyes as they bore into her.  She nearly collapsed when she felt his finger slide into her wetness.  She was so ready for him, her juices had been flowing freely since she first heard his voice on the phone.  He explored her extensively with his searching fingers as his thumb massaged and teased her hard nub.  Suddenly she knew. Sonny had left her to save her life.  He left her because he loved her so much.  And instead of waiting for him, questioning the whole situation, using every means to find him, instead of believing in him, she turned to Jax, again.   Sonny saw the light dawning in her beautiful eyes, and he knew she knew.  He leaned in and his breath tickled her ear as he spoke, even as his hands continued to savor his enjoyment of her.  He whispered seductively, "How many times, Brenda?"  Brenda shook her head slightly furrowing her brow.  She honestly didn't understand what he meant.  Sonny continued, "how many times did you betray me with Jax?"

    Brenda knew this was both part of the game and not.  She had betrayed him, and he called her on it.  Her body felt so warm with love for him, but she had never been more ashamed than at that moment. "I'm sorry, so sorry."

    "Are you?"

    "How can I fix this?  How can I make this up to you?"

    "How many?"

    Brenda lowered her eyes only because to look into his would've been torturous.  "Too many."

    "Did you fantasize about me grinding into you while you were kissing Jax,  straddling Jax, riding Jax, screaming his name?"  He tilted her chin with his finger and reconnected with her eyes.  He had her off balance now, she'd finally given up the control.   The truth was she did fantasize about him, often.  They were so much a part of each other that she couldn't let him go, not completely.  She had decided to let that last choice Sonny made, giving her a different life, she had decided to let
that choice be her life.  She tried to move on with Jax, and though she could feel Sonny deep inside of her, she never thought he'd really come back.  She never thought she'd look into his eyes again after they said their final goodbye last summer.  She certainly never dreamed she'd be trying to explain this to him.  But here she was, standing before him, vulnerable to whatever whim possessed him, and she knew she had to tell him the truth.

  "Yes."

  "You've always been my woman, Brenda.  Do you believe that?"

      "I do."  His eyes softened as the irony of her words struck him.  God, how much he wanted her to be his wife, how much he needed that.

      "I want more than that, you know what I want to hear."

      "I've always been your woman, Mr. Corinthos."

      "Jax is never to touch you again, do you understand?" Sonny has not once  stopped exploring her hot mound.  He could feel her climax approaching, her body was shuddering beneath his touch, his body was on fire watching her.

     Brenda knew she'd long since passed the point of no return.  She could  never go back to her life as it had been this past year.  She needed Sonny on so many levels, loved him so completely, that she feared she'd go entirely mad if she had to be without him ever again.  And she could see it still sparkling in his chocolate pools, too.  He loved her still, more than he ever did.  Brenda had so many emotions coursing through her body.  Everything was a blur, a hypnotic, erogenous meld of sensations,
his voice, his touch, the hardness she could feel as she pressed against him for support.  She could feel herself giving way to something so incredible, her body was wracking with want.  She heard Sonny repeat himself quietly, "Do you understand."

    "Yes."

     Sonny kissed her ear sending a current of heat through to her core.  Then, just before she released her font, he eased his pressure and slowly slid his fingers from her.  Again he saw it in her eyes, frustration, aggravation, even a little anger.  She wouldn't say anything though, she had given him permission to guide her tonight, and she wanted this, whatever it was, exquisite agony, unbearable aching, maybe this was her punishment. "Do you want me, Brenda?"

   Brenda was still struggling to compose herself from his onslaught of her body, and her voice was unsteady and held the slightest tremor.  "Yes."  Sonny lifted his dampened fingers to her lips outlining them.  He never broke his gaze from hers as he eased his forefinger through her wet lips finding her hot, wet, tongue.  He probed within her mouth as she sucked her juice from his skin.  Sonny thought he would go insane with wild craving as he let the sensations fill him.  But there was so much more he had planned.  He pulled away from her enjoying her awkward distress.

  "So, we've cleared up a few important things.  You forgive me, you  fantasize about me, you belong to me, and you want me.   There's just one more thing I need from you.  Do you trust me?"

  "With every single impulse in my body."

  "Go to the drawer in the bedside table.  You'll find a black, silk scarf.  Tie it securely around your head covering your eyes, then come back to me."

  Brenda did as she was told.  As she pulled the scarf from the drawer, her eyes grazed over the other contents.  There were wrist and ankle chains, containers of liquids, and pleasure balls.  Brenda had seen pleasure balls before, but never before had she experienced them.  A sly smile played on her lips which she erased just before turning back toward Sonny with her blindfold intact.  She wasn't prepared for the sensation of losing her vision.  Even though she knew there was nothing obstructing her path to Sonny, her mind wouldn't let her walk gracefully.  Her arms involuntarily began reaching in front of her, and her feet would only move very slowly.  She wasn't sure how this sensory deprivation would please Sonny, but she knew she would do whatever he asked.  As she made her way to him, her outstretched hands finally found their destination.  Brenda found herself wanting to run her hands over his  chest, down his legs, explore every inch of him without benefit of sight.  She wanted to consume him, taste him, smell him, feel him all over his hard body, she wanted to listen for his sighs and moans of
 pleasure.  But Sonny had different ideas.   His voice was firm.  "Take  three steps back, place your hands at your sides, and stay still."
 
     As Brenda stood there under his heated gaze, the rush was undeniable and  all-consuming.  She could feel his eyes searching her body.  He was  walking slowly around her.  She could hear his soft footsteps surrounding her body.  Her skin was pink with the warm flush of his blatant scrutiny.   She ached for the touch of his hands.  After several minutes  his soft voice broke the silence.   "I wish to bathe.  Drain the tub and refill it."
 
 Brenda complied making the water as hot as could be stood.  She found the oils he'd used in the cabinet and she added them generously to the steamy    water.   Sonny watched her every move.  It was intoxicating watching her complete her tasks without using her eyes.  He watched as she learned to  see with her hands, gliding them over the faucet, into the stream of water, then the filling tub so as to not let it overflow.  She was the most amazing woman he'd ever known.  He knew she was enjoying this as much as he was, but he also knew she would've done anything for him.  She was doing it for her, but probably more for him.  She wanted to please him.  Sonny knew Brenda well enough to know she wouldn't do something if she didn't want to.  It just wasn't in her nature.  And those facts alone, that she wanted to be here now, that she was doing exactly what
she wanted to be doing, and she was his, excited him beyond measure. He could feel his pulse racing in his neck as he let himself feel everything  he feels for her.  When she was done, she made her way back to him.  Sonny raised her hand to his lips tasting her fingers, running his tongue over the palm of her hand, watching the bumps rise on her skin as she felt his need for her.  He brought her hand gently down to the front of his shirt and he spoke very quietly, with the slightest catch in his voice.  "Undress me."

    Brenda felt like she could take no more.  Her entire body was inflamed with desire and passion.  Her fingers fumbled for his buttons, and her hands were shaking as if they had been affected by some unknown force.  It was hard for her to control herself, almost too hard.  Everything in her wanted him and as she slipped off his shirt and it fell to the floor, she let her hands roam down from his shoulders to his belt buckle.  Sonny allowed her this personal pleasure, and she knelt in front of him, gently easing down his slacks and boxers.  He loved the feel of her cool skin on his.   This was going to be hard, he thought.  How much more could he endure.  He stepped out of them, pulling her to her feet with his strong hands.  She felt him remove the cloth from her eyes and found herself immediately drowning in his deep brown depths.  "Go to the drawer and pick your pleasure, Brenda.  Then come and join me."  Sonny waited until she walked away before he turned and walked to the bath letting the hot, steamy liquid take him to total relaxation.  He closed his eyes leaning his head back against the tub lost in the ecstacy of the warm, wetness surrounding him.  He felt her join him and he opened his eyes and captured hers again.  He wasn't quite ready to give up this scenario yet, it was so delicious watching her go against her instincts and let him control her.  He'd be a liar if he said it didn't arouse him in the most agonizing way.  He spoke in the same gentle tone he'd been using.  "Turn around, Brenda."  He smiled to himself when he saw what dangled from her left hand.  She'd chosen well.  "Reach over the tub, stretching, making sure your legs never leave the water.  Find the sponge and turn back around."  Brenda immediately did as he asked, feeling with unmatched fervor his eyes taking in her most private places, she swore she could feel him as if he were touching her.  She'd never felt more exposed in her life, and more impassioned.  She found the large round sponge and turned back around to face him,  her dark knight.  She knew what he wanted without having to be instructed. She soaked the sponge in the wet, oily liquid, then began stroking him with it, slow, erotic circular strokes on the glistening black hair of his chest.  Brenda, then, moved the sponge to his feet, rubbing them intimately.  She involuntarily reached down and brushed her  lips against his toes, god she didn't know how much more she could take.  Sonny's heart went reeling with her lips on his feet.  He very  nearly lost his mind completely.  His senses were on overload, he could  hear the blood roaring through his veins, hers mixed with his for all eternity.  She seductively rubbed the sponge up his leg to his throbbing member.  She ran the sponge up and down the length of him gently, glorying in his growing erection.  Her breasts were heaving with the labored breath within her.  Sonny had since drained half the water from the tub, and he tangled his wet fingers in her hair, speaking raggedly, "take it, Brenda, pleasure me."  Brenda leaned down over his hardened  flesh taking it in slowly.  She began licking the head in teasing
strokes, then she licked up and down his smooth shaft.  Sonny's breathing was uneven and his eyes were closed with sheer delirium.  When she took  him into her mouth completely, he thought he would burst right
    there.  She was so hot, so wet, sucking and stroking with her tongue and lips and Sonny lost control then.  He began making love to her mouth, pounding the back of her throat over and over.  Tears sprung to Brenda's eyes he was so merciless, but she continued.  Having him in her mouth was all she wanted, she wanted to give him pleasure, give him power.  Then his beautiful body shook and she felt the hot liquid fill her mouth.  Brenda swallowed hungrily, sucking his head of every single drop.  Brenda laid her cheek over his spent organ as Sonny delicately stroked her hair.

    She must have thought the fantasy was over, for his voice startled her.  "Go downstairs and lie down on the blanket."  Brenda obediently rose from the water pausing a few seconds as the drops cascaded from her body.  She thought Sonny looked like he could eat her alive.  She walked downstairs slowly re-enchanted with the twilight atmosphere he'd created.  The candles were still glowing, and he'd laid a blanket in the middle of the room, surrounded with the scented candles.  The incense
still burned and the room was a haze of smoke, twinkling light, a room full of shadows.  Another soft melody filled the air, she thought she recognized it from their first time at the No Name.  Brenda made her way to the blanket smiling as she saw the champagne and strawberries.  She descended until she was laying flat on her stomach, relishing the feel of the softness against her hardened nipples, her eager body.   It seemed to  Brenda that it took Sonny forever to join her.  Maybe he had been there
all along, watching her writhing ever so slightly against the feathery  material.  She felt him kneel behind her, pulling her up on her knees.  Her body was leaning against him, feeling his need for her rising.  The fingertips of his right hand began feather teases of her already hard nipples.  Brenda's head was leaning on his shoulder, uncontrollably darting from side to side.  She could feel his heated breath in her ear as his lips kissed and tore at her long neck, and she was lost.  If she didn't have him soon, she would go absolutely insane.  Then, she felt the first ball enter her.  She gasped in exhilaration.  Then the cold chain, then another ball.  With each piece of chain and ball that he slid into her wet, hot silky jewel, she could feel the other balls going deeper and deeper, higher and higher.  He was sucking on her neck so hard it was almost painful, but she couldn't get enough, arching further against him.  He continued squeezing her nipples with his other hand and then, all the silver, metal balls were inside her and she didn't think she could go on.  It was the most divine, impeccable suffering she'd ever experienced.  Sonny reached down and picked something up.  Brenda couldn't stifle her moan as the hot liquid poured over her already burning flesh.  The oil was heating her even more as his strong hands roamed over her body spreading the fire.  He left nothing
unaffected.  His finger moved to her pulsating vagina as he explored her tiny nub with his oily finger.  The heat was so agonizing she thought she would pass out.   He rubbed oil over her other entry, yet she didn't notice that due to the massive sensations already sending her body into oblivion.  Then he lifted her slightly easing her back down slowly on his hard organ.  Brenda screamed with surprise and delight at the feel of him  there.  And Sonny knew this was someplace Jax had never gone, it was his and his alone.   She was so tight, so soft.  Sonny could've climaxed right then, but he held off, he moved her up and down as he reached around her finding her swollen breasts.  Then he lifted her so she was     standing on her knees with her back arched wildly against him, him still buried deeply within her.  He continued his slow tease with his hardness as he flicked at her nipples and began to ravage her neck yet   again.  That's when she felt it, as he was thrusting slowly within her, the first ball came out.  Brenda collapsed against him as her body began to rush, wave after wave of pleasure.  He had her body desperate and  shuddering beneath his power with his mix of scandalous euphoria.  Sonny removed the second ball, and he felt her juices flow over his hand.  Her eyes were closed tightly and she was biting the inside of her cheek so  hard, the blood was trickling down her chin.  Sonny slipped a cool   strawberry into her mouth, and she bit it in her frenzy, the juice  dribbling from her tempting mouth and mixing with her own drops of blood.  He mercilessly continued his pursuit of her, removing the next    one, and again he felt her release, her sweet honey pouring over his fingers.  His mouth continued up her neck and settled at her ear nibbling      and probing.  He began to move harder within her as he pulled the last of   the metal from her.  Brenda's breath was so ragged she couldn't catch her   breath.  Sonny held tightly to her breasts as he pounded her.  She felt him stop, moving more slowly, trying to tease her again, and she rammed       her hips against him in unbridled abandon.   That was it for Sonny.  He   put his hands on her hips and thrust into her with all his strength, over and over, loving her desperate cries, her beautiful voice screaming his name. He took them higher and higher, beyond anything they'd ever dreamed, to the very heavens, then she began shaking wildly with her climax and when Sonny could stand it no longer, he felt himself drowning in her, his body quaking with his release.

     She collapsed beneath him, completely spent.  He covered her with his own body for several minutes as they came down together from that fierce level of love, the powerful rapture receding like the ocean waves into pure satiation.  He was content just getting lost in the sweet scent of her skin, her hair. Then she felt his skin leave hers and she turned and looked at him for the first time since he had joined her here.  He smiled at her lovingly and covered her gently with another blanket as he slipped a soft pillow under her head.  He poured one glass of champagne, then laying on his side beside her he dipped a strawberry into the bubbling drink and fed it to her.  He leaned in and they shared their first kiss of the evening, the rest of their lives.  They shared the fruit between them as they rediscovered each other's mouths.  Brenda tangled her fingers in his curly black hair urgently letting her tongue explore the man she'd missed so much.   Then, she pulled back, after what seemed like hours, and gazed dreamily into his dark, gorgeous eyes, "I love you, Sonny."  Sonny placed his hands on either side of her face pulling her to him in a passionate kiss filled with even more longing than he felt before.  He kissed her again and again, bringing her desire to a fevered pitch.  Then he pulled back waiting patiently for her eyes to open.

    He whispered with quiet confidence, "I know."  Sonny's next words were so soft they were almost inaudible.  "Do you really forgive me then?"

    "Sonny, how do I convince you how much I love you, still.  After  everything we've been through, everything we've meant to each other, everything I can't forget.  I breathe you when I breathe, I see you when I close my eyes, I dream you when I sleep, I feel you every second of every day.  It's true, I tried to let go of this, whatever it is, this power we share, but I can't.  I can't.  I need you so much.  Please don't leave me again. Please tell me we can finally truly be together."

    Sonny gazed at her with such a depth of love, Brenda could feel her heart rate increase.  His eyes were kind, gentle, and yet still held that mystery she so loved.  He reached up his hand and stroked her cheek with the outside it, softly, letting his eyes close at the silkiness of the touch of her skin.  When he reopened them they were shining with light and unshed tears.  "You're here, you're really here."

    "Did you doubt I'd come?"

    "No."

    "Still so sure of yourself, huh?  Confidence was never a problem, was  it."  Brenda laughed slightly at her words.

   "It wasn't confidence, Brenda.  It was cosmic.  As long as we're alive it will always be this way.  I have loved you so long, before I even knew it I loved you.  Before I even knew you, if that makes sense."
 

   "It makes perfect sense, baby.  No one will ever know me or understand me  like you do.  No one can.  You see all of me, good, bad, whatever, and you love all of me.  That's how I've always felt about you, always."  Her words suddenly became whispery and distant as her eyes shifted from his gaze.  "Sonny, I know what you were doing tonight.  I mean, about the fantasy.  But, one thing, I really am sorry about Jax.  You were right, I should've believed in you, waited for you, I never should've questioned our love, even for a second.  I should've trusted. . ."

 Her words were cut off as Sonny's index finger made its way to her lips. "Shh, baby.  You did what I knew you would.  What I needed you to do, you made a life, a safe life, without me.  I hate the choice I made for us both.  It was the worst mistake of my life.  I realized that almost right away, but I watched you.  I thought you were happy.  Then, I had to see you tonight, our night.  I had to admit to myself I was wrong.  I saw you with him on the docks and I knew, I just had to make you mine again.  I  had to feel you and hear you and tell you how much I love you."

 His fingers made their way from her neck to weave their way through her silky hair.  Brenda's eyes closed as she leaned into his touch, relishing the feel of him.  Suddenly she felt a sharp tug as he tightened his grasp of her and pulled her head in forcefully.  His lips met hers ferociously, almost painfully, but she framed his face with her hands and gave him all the passion she had.  His mouth tasted of strawberries and she breathed it in, almost intoxicating her, the masculine, heavenly scent that was him.  Brenda pulled back slightly, enjoying the questioning expression in his dark eyes.  She pushed him down on his back and began to trail her swollen lips down his chest.  Sonny let the sensations overtake him as his eyes closed momentarily.  That's when he felt it, cold, very, very, cold, and she was pouring it over his chest.  Brenda chuckled at the shocked man beneath her, then she dove in.  She moved to his left nipple, biting and sucking, then she licked a trail to his right, teasing it to tiny hardness.  The champagne, mixed with his own sweat and scent, was a dangerous combination, and Brenda found herself giddy and lost in  it.  Her own ecstacy heightened as she heard his gasps and moans.  His voice, saying her name, it affected her down to her core.  It always had, and he knew it. Sonny's hands were woven through her hair as she continued her journey downward.  His body was quivering in anticipation of her next move.  He expected one thing, but got another, an incredible high, as the fleeting thought that she couldn't take him in her mouth, not after what he'd just done, flitted in and out of his head at light speed.  His eyes were closed as he felt her slide onto him, her closing around him, fitting him perfectly.  Sonny's body was on fire with the movement of her.  Her hands were on his chest, supporting her, as she increased her rhythm.  She was lost in the ecstacy of their love and this pleasure was all she could feel.  His hands moved to her swaying breasts as he arched into her, thrusting hard.  His touch was all the heat she could stand and she leaned forward letting her hair fall to graze his skin.  She was losing, she was weak with desire and Sonny knew it, roaming her body to find all the places he longed to explore.  Her eyes were shining with want and when he moved his finger to her moistened nub and began gently stroking her, she leaned back and rocked them into the climax she could no longer hold off, the release they both ached for.   She screamed his name as she felt herself give into him.  And hen, she collapsed on top of him, loving the feel of his hands stroking her hair and back.  Her breath tickled his skin as she quietly chided, "God, Sonny, what you do to me."

    Hours had passed since Brenda first entered into this seduction.  Time stood still though, for the two reborn lovers.  Things from Sonny's point of view couldn't be going any better.  He had been more right than he ever had been.  She was his and his alone.  He knew it as did she.  She was a vision, a mirror of his own emotion.  He looked into her eyes and saw his own soul, and he knew, finally, again, what it was like to live.  After the last interlude, they lay asleep next to the candles and fireplace, she resting her beautiful face on the sticky black hair of his chest.  Their limbs were intertwined, and they were at peace.

 Sometime later, Brenda's dark brown eyes fluttered open and she was immediately totally immersed in him.  Her senses were sent reeling in every direction.  The smell of champagne and the aftermath of their lovemaking filled the room.  The hardness of his body against the softness of her breasts and thighs and the tightness with which he held her, even in sleep, quickened her pulse and labored her breath.  It was primal.  She wanted him and it was the most basic of instincts.  But what made it more powerful was the simple truth of her love for him, her willingness to give herself to him, share everything there was about her,
and her conviction to hold onto that power for the rest of her life.   His happiness, hopes, dreams, his wants replaced her own.  And what made it possible for her to lay open herself this way, reveal this vulnerability, was the knowledge that he felt the same way for her.  It was perpetual, back and forth, round and round, their emotions never ended.  They gave, received, wanted, needed, dreamed, achieved, and gave some more.

    But Brenda was a decent and honorable woman.  She couldn't go any  further, unless Sonny had awakened and distracted her once more, without having the face of her blonde ex-fiance‚ creep through her thoughts.  His innocent smile as she kissed him goodbye knowing full well who she would be kissing next.  His loving face that had never betrayed her.  His hands, his large, gentle fingers replacing Sonny's on her skin at night.  His soft lips traveling the length of her body, never anything but gentle and sweet.  Jax loved her, he did it consistently and  sweetly.  And she knew he knew somewhere deep down inside himself, thathe was just a man that made love to a woman who saw and felt and breathed in another man even as he took her.  Jax knew.  He was a smart, clever man and he knew.  Still, Brenda had promised.  She had somehow convinced him to be Sonny's stand-in yet again, under the pretense of them building a life together.  But as Sonny had so honestly told her once, she and Jax could build a life on whatever it was they had, but there were problems.  And she, Sonny, and Jax were all too aware of what those problems were.  Brenda could not stay away from Sonny, not ever and she didn't want to if she could find a way.  The love they shared wasn't a choice they made, it was woven through their souls, through the energy of the universe, it wasn't something they could just pluck out and be done with it.  In doing so, they would cease to exist themselves.

    So the fleeting face of him in her mind's eye was an image she couldn't ignore.  Had Brenda been a colder, more selfish woman, she would have simply blown it off.  But she couldn't do that, anymore than she could deny her love for Sonny.  So she very, very carefully disengaged from the arms of her angel.  She sat for a long moment enjoying tremendously the smile tugging the corners of his mouth.  Whatever dream had him so satisfied and happy, she only hoped she was part of it.  After she was
sure he was hopelessly lost in his own subconscious reality, she rose and retrieved her clothes from the upstairs bathroom.  She dressed quickly and soundlessly.  She wanted to return to him before he even realized she had gone.  In her haste to get what was sure to be complete unpleasantness behind her, she left the lair of her love, forgetting to even leave him a note.

    Brenda arrived "home" just as the colors of the dawn painted the morning sky.  She immediately felt ill at ease.  Something was off, way off.  As she made her way upstairs she could hear the muffled sounds of the TV.  As she drew closer, she realized Jax must be rewinding and replaying something on the VCR.  His back was to her, but he could feel her approach.  He just kept replaying the same scene.  Brenda's eyes flickered to the screen and she drew her breath in sharply.    It was she, naked with her lover, it was her voice "I really am sorry about Jax."  It wasn't shame, that wasn't possible where Sonny was
concerned.  It was horror at the blatantness of it, it was bewilderment at how this came to be, that he would have a tape of them.  Jax's icy tone split the tension.

    "She warned me, you know.  She's been telling me for years how you'd betray me for him any chance you got.  It's ironic as bloody hell that you and he see it as betraying him.  Do you have any idea how sick you look on there?  Is that how you two always made love, in some sick fantasy world where whips and toys and submission reign supreme?  And you liked it, hell you craved it.  You wanted it more than he did.  I had no idea what a whore you really are."

     Brenda eyes blinked back tears as she struggled to maintain her composure.  "Jax, how did you . . ."

    "Get the tape?  Well, not that there's a shred of relevance, but V has been watching Sonny for months, she told me she knew he was coming for you.  And while you and I and your lover were on the docks yesterday, she set things up.  But even she had no idea what kind of disgusting, nauseating material you'd be a part of.  She begged me to let you go.  I could actually be sick thinking of me giving up that wonderful, wholesome woman for a common tramp like you."

    You know I love him.  You've always known that."

   "But I guess what I didn't know was exactly what that love was all about,  that it was based in sick fantasy world."

    Brenda turned away and whispered, "stop saying that.  It's not sick.  I love and trust him with everything I am.  There's nothing sick about it."
 
  "Really??  Did you fantasize about me grinding into you while you were kissing Jax, riding Jax, screaming his name?  Sound familiar you little slut?"

   Brenda backed toward the open door at the rage spilling from his voice and whispered shakily, "I'll get my things."  She ran from the room, but Jax caught her halfway down the stairs, and grabbing a handful of her long hair, dragged her back up to the bedroom flinging her on the bed.  He locked the door and threw the key across the room.  Hot tears streamed down Brenda's flushed face.  Her blood raced from the fear she was feeling.  He was never like this, never had she been afraid of him before.

 "What's a matter, little girl, don't you like it rough?  You owe me, and I'm collecting right now."

  Jax advanced at a quickness Brenda didn't foresee and he reached forward  ripping her shirt open.  Without warning he forcefully backhanded her across her right cheek sending her toppling to the floor.  "That was for all the marks you allowed that bastard to give you.  Get up!"  Brenda quickly rose to her feet sobbing uncontrollably.  "Now, I think I like the part where you address me as Mr. Jacks.  I also like the part where you obey.  One difference, my little whore, I will hurt you. Finish undressing." Brenda closed her eyes tightly desperately trying to detach mentally from all this hatred.  Her fingers did their work swiftly and soon she stood before him, this man she thought she cared for.  His next words were even more frightening so tinged with laughter were they.  "Now for the cleansing, I want the stink of him off of you, lie down on your stomach."  After a moment the silence was broken by her scream of alarm.  Something cold as ice was spreading over her body.  The smell of
rubbing alcohol satiated the air and as it moved over the raw places her lovemaking with Sonny had left on her back and between her legs, the pain was undeniable.

    "Jax!!  Stop!"

     "Oh, luv, I was so hoping for your disobedience."

    "Mr. Jacks, please. . ."

    "Too little, too late.  Now I already know you like pain and humiliation so I'm not going that route.  I think the way to hurt you is through your lover.  How 'bout a little phone call?  But, first we wouldn't want you to give the game away, would we?"  With that last, Jax pulled a tie from his dresser and gagged Brenda's mouth, then he approached her grinning wildly with a pair of shiny, silvery handcuffs catching the light.  Brenda tried to run from him, but he caught her and threw her to the wall where she slid, dazed, to the floor.  Jax cuffed her to the bed rail and pulled out his cell phone.  He dialed a number as he sat directly in front of her on the floor, stroking her hair almost lovingly.  His tone had taken on his usual, good-natured one and he spoke  directly and quietly.  "He's back.  Now I know you don't want him here anymore than I do, so we do this together.  I give you the information you need to find him and you rid the world of Sonny Corinthos forever.  Do we have a deal?"  There was a small pause before Jax resumed talking.  Brenda had come around and was wiggling and trying, in vain, to free herself even with her blood mixing with the salty tears stinging her eyes.  Jax continued stroking her hair and smiling at her.  "Fair enough.  He sleeps even as we speak in Suite 3A on the top floor of the Plaza downtown."   Jax flipped his cell phone closed and turned his smirking expression toward his captive. "See, the question is, after that bastard is dead, can you be redeemed?" He began smoothing her hair away from her face so he could watch her reaction.  Her cheek was swollen and bright red, and her temple dripped blood slightly from the blow to the wall.  She was pale and tears still making their way involuntarily down her streaked face.  But she wasn't completely resigned yet.  Her eyes shined with hope, she was desperate to get out and save Sonny, she was scared of Jax, but the wheels were still turning in her head.  "I don't think you can.  You're a bad seed, Brender, you've got no soul, no conscience.  I think I should just take what I can get from you and throw the rest out with the morning garbage.  You've always put yourself above everyone else and it's cost you hasn't it, luv?  It's turned you rotten inside.  Karen's life was
destroyed after you turned her over to the gossip chain.  She suffered and it was completely your fault.  Lily and an innocent baby are dead and that, too, is completely your fault.  Your family despises you because of the sickness in your dead heart.  Your father hated you and that was your fault.  Your precious Sonny will be dead within the hour and you are completely to blame.  Your insolence killed him.  And myself, well, I've  given up, how many, let's see, 4 years, 5 years, just to have nothing
 come of it.  You used me like you used everyone else.  You don't deserve      anyone's mercy, least of all mine.  I don't even see a human being when I look at you, I see a thing, a thing incapable of giving anything but grief to anybody.  And what does one do with such a thing?  Throw it out?  Incinerate it?  So what do you have to say for yourself?  What   pretty words will you spin to turn me around?"
 
       Jax reached up and roughly tugged the gag free.  Brenda's eyes were tightly shut at the onslaught.  The tears continued though, fast and furious. She took a few deep breaths in an obvious attempt to recover some composure.  She opened her eyes and Jax's flashed with what looked ike pain maybe, as he took in the full sight of what he'd done.  Here she was before him, this woman he had adored.  Her face was pale and her  eyes bloodshot.  She was nothing more than a mess of blood and tears, and he felt sorry, for a second he actually felt ashamed of himself.  Then it  passed, the sympathy.  And pure hatred returned.  Brenda's voice was slow and measured, as if she were scared of saying the wrong thing.  "This isn't you.  What you just did here, it was the actions of someone so hurt, so beyond pain, that he lost sight of himself for a time.  Jax. . ."  Brenda's eyes stayed focused on his as he widened his own at her disobedience yet again.  She held his gaze confidently knowing there
would be no further punishments.  "this isn't you."

    "You are a smug one.  So what are you saying?  That I've gone mad?  Insane?  That watching you ram him up your @ss and scream his name, HIS NAME, that watching you cheapen yourself in every single way drove me over the edge?"  Jax's next words were so calm they were erie.  "I don't want you anymore.  I don't want you to breathe anymore.  Think of it as a favor.  Sonny is surely dead by now, and you can have your final reunion on some cloud somewhere, or in bloody hell where you both belong."

   Jax moved his hand that had been resting in her hair, he moved it slowly down until it rested on her neck.  He leaned in and kissed her lips even as she tried to wiggle free.  "Sleep well."  Hysteria coursed through Brenda's veins as his words, that she'd heard a thousand times before, sunk in.  With her free hand she pounded on his chest and she flung her legs at him.  Jax laughed the laugh of a madman and pinned her legs under his own strong ones.  He grabbed her arm with ease and twisted it behind
her and he began to squeeze the breath from her throat.  He watched her carefully never letting his eyes leave hers until hers rolled back in defeat.  He was so involved with his own actions that he didn't notice the man on the balcony, the man with the dark complexion and the silver gun.  Sonny aimed carefully and without hesitation he fired a single shot.  He always used a silencer so it sounded more like a whipping through the air than a gunshot.  Jax fell away, the blood running from his back.  Sonny ran to her and shot the handcuffs from the rail.  She collapsed unconscious to the floor.  Sonny gathered her up in his arms and gently laid her on the bed.  He moved his ear to her chest and was delighted to hear her heart beating.  Now she just had to breathe, but her neck was bruised and Sonny was sure her windpipe was crushed.  He dialed 911 on his phone and that done, dialed the front desk who immediately sent up a doctor.  As he did this, Jax began to crawl helplessly toward the door and Sonny tracked him, following him inch by inch with the gun in place.  "You know, you should really find out exactly who you're talking to when you put out a hit on someone.  I have more friends than you imagine.  Say hi to the devil for me, Candyboy."  With that, the fatal shot was fired and Jax lay lifeless in a bloody heap on his bedroom floor.

  Sonny ran downstairs letting in the doctor.  The doctor wasted no time in performing a tracheotomy and Sonny let the relief flow from his eyes as they heard her breathing.  Brenda was brought to the hospital and treated for a severe concussion and crushed trachea.  The facial wound was superficial and would heal quickly.  Brenda recovered physically rather quickly.  At the news of Jax's death, Sonny thought he saw sadness in her eyes.  She knew he had no choice but to kill him, but she wished Jax
could've found a better way to deal with all of it, a way her best friend would have chosen at any other time in his life.

 As the weeks passed, she withdrew from Sonny though.  She wouldn't let  him make love to her, and she refused to move in with him.  She had ecided that much of what Jax had said was true, she really didn't have anything to give anyone.   She decided that the whole incident was entirely her fault.  She had turned a perfectly decent human being into a raging maniac, and so she made a choice. She packed her things and she left town in the middle of the night telling no one.  It wasn't easy shaking Sonny's bodyguards, but she'd had more than enough practice over the years.  She decided to go someplace Sonny would never go, someplace cold with lots of snow.  She had to free him from the woman that killed  Jax.  She had to remove herself from his very vicinity, put space between them, so she could carry out her plan.  She reserved a helicopter and charted a course for Canada.  What she didn't know was that Jason was at the airport checking over the ELQ jet before a trip and he noticed her.  Jason put some facts together for his friend and set out for Sonny's new penthouse.

 Brenda arrived at the ski lodge on an unusually snowy day.  The drifts were high and the sky was a haze of flurries.  She checked in under a bogus name and retired to her room for the night.  Tomorrow would be a big, big day.  The day she brought Jax's legacy to fruition.  The day she made his last grasp at truth and honor mean something.  She sat on her bed and reached gingerly into her overnight bag.  Her eyes were clear as  were her thoughts.  There were no doubts, no guilt, no questions.  She was blessed with the clarity one feels only when one is either completely mad or standing before God himself.  She pulled out the framed picture of Jax first and placed it carefully on the bedside table.  Then, she reached in and found it, that one thing of Sonny's that she'd always carried with her. It was one of the bullets that had been removed from him so long ago.  He certainly never knew she had it, but Brenda had  found a way to sneak it into her billfold where she carried it ever
since.  She also had always carried a dog-eared, worn out, faded snapshot of Sonny in Washington, D.C.  That was truly the beginning of where they could never turn back, and of course it showed off his gorgeous curls and beautiful body.  Whenever she wanted to lose herself in dreams of the intensity and fathomless depth of their love, whenever she needed to remind herself that she had felt it once, and would know it forever, precious gift that it was, she'd go somewhere quiet where she wouldn't be
disturbed and she'd stare at that picture, those dark, thoughtful eyes, and she'd feel him, all around her, she'd feel him, smell his skin, his cologne, his shampoo, she'd taste him, and she'd be, if only for a short time, completely at one with her true soul mate.

    The next morning Brenda ventured out.  It was before dawn, so no one could warn her against trekking through the storm.  She had decided that it didn't matter how she died.  She wanted it to be with the same gold colored bullet that almost took him, but if it happened that she simply froze to death, that would be okay, too.  She skied for miles through the blizzard, then she thought she saw something familiar.  She took off her skis and walked the rest of the distance in her boots.  Her skis were
covered almost immediately by the falling snow, as were her footsteps leading to that broken down cabin she'd lured Sonny to so long ago.

    Sonny was only about 45 minutes behind her.  Once he got the news from  Jason, he made his arrangements quickly.  He knew exactly where she was  going, and he knew what she intended to do.  She'd been acting so distant, strange, ever since Jax's death.  Sonny didn't know what Jax had said to her, but whatever it was it made a tremendous impact.

    Brenda took in her surroundings, and the memories flooded her mind.  She and Sonny fighting, him desperately trying to stay loyal to Lily, her knowing it was a facade, she persistent and tenacious, not letting go of her conviction for even a second, he finally giving in to his heart.  Jax coming for her, he always came for her.  Brenda shook it off, and walked slowly around the cabin.  It wasn't much really, just a room, a cold wooden room.  But all she could feel was heat, the heat of those fiery
kisses, the love flowing from his soul to hers, from his skin to hers.  But this love they share, this crazy love that won't be denied,  had killed people, Lily, Sonny's child, Jax.  It had killed people who deserved their shot at life, too.  And she'd end it here, the only way she could, she would cut off her half of that wild, destructive love, and then the bond would be broken.  Sonny would be free.  She couldn't take the chance that she'd do to Sonny what she'd done to Jax.  It just wasn't an option.  So she pulled out that snapshot, and she kissed it, and she began to speak.  "Sonny, I know you'll never agree with what I've done here today, you may never even understand it.  But, it was the only way.  I had to let you go, the same way you walked away from me before, I  must walk away from you.  You were protecting me from others, but I'm protecting you from something far worse, myself.  But, now I know I can't just stay away.  I have to do it permanently.  My only hope is that you
know with absolutely no doubt that I love you."

  With a tear sliding down her cheek and resignation looming in her heart,  Brenda pulled out the gun.  She placed the bullet in the chamber and as she brought it up to her head, she heard a slam behind her.  Brenda barely had time to turn her head at the sound when someone pushed her to the floor, sending the gun sailing across the room.

  They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity, him covering her with his body, her face to the floor.  Then, Brenda felt wetness fall to her face, but it wasn't her own tears, and when she turned her head she melted into his dark, heavenly eyes yet again.  His eyes shone with fresh  tears, and as she let him take her deep within himself, her own body began to shudder and she cried like she never had before.  His eyes, his breath, his very essence had brought her crashing back to reality with a
 force she couldn't have expected.  Sonny pulled her to him and held her with all his strength, stroking her back and whispering "I love you" over and over.  Finally, she quieted, her hysterical sobs giving way to gentler whimpers.  Sonny took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes and spoke so only she could've heard him, "What the hell were you thinking?  Damn it, Brenda, don't you know I can't live without you?"  She tried to pull back, but he held her face steady, not allowing her to break their intense gaze.  He whispered, "Baby, what did he say to you?"  Brenda lowered her eyes and let her mind wander to his words, "bad seed", "dead heart."

    She could hear his rage-filled voice spitting the  accusations at her.  And then, she looked at Sonny, no, more like, she looked into Sonny, and he was filled with kindness and love, relief and gratitude.  And she knew, she knew the truth.  Jax had lost reality.  He  would've killed her.  He felt nothing but hate, and Brenda was sure she  didn't know him at all.  He wasn't some kind man that she sent reeling around the bend with her horrible acts.  He was a man treading very carefully between reality and psychosis, and eventually, no matter what Brenda and Sonny had done, eventually psychosis would have won out.

 Sitting on that hard cabin floor, holding on to her savior for dear life,  seeing the purity of his emotion all over his face, she felt peace  again.  She closed her eyes savoring the moment and when she opened them again, he was not one inch from her face.  She could see the slight parting of his lips and the wetness of his tongue as he ran it over them.  She could see the specks of gold in his eyes that normally stayed hidden completely.  Brenda tilted her head and smiled as she studied him.  He was usually so classy and debonair in his silk shirts and suits with his hair slicked back.  But it was obvious he was a man on the go today.  His hair was silky and natural and she found herself needing to feel it, to run her fingers through it.  And as she did, she felt her
breath catch.  He was doing it again, affecting her without even trying.  A shiver ripped through her  and her eyes closed  involuntarily.  Her voice was raspy as she breathed, "God, how I love you."  Sonny's mouth took hers with force, urgency.  He pressed into her so hard, his lips, his fingers digging into her shoulders, his tongue lashing through her mouth, it was as if he needed to meld with her, be inside her soul.  He moved his hand to her sloppy braided mane.  And as he continued kissing her, his fingers threaded through her long dark hair, sending it flowing down her back.  He moved his mouth to her neck sending heated sensations throughout her body as she arched her back leaning into him further.  Then, he pulled back, obviously breathless and wanting her, and he laid her gently back against the floor.  He looked at her intently, brushed the hair from her face leaving his hands to frame her beauty, then swooped down showering a rain of kisses all over her
 face, her eyes, her cheeks, her chin, her nose.  A small laugh escaped Brenda's lips at the pure happiness she felt at that moment.  Sonny heard her, and smiling himself, leaned in coaxing her lips open and began  moving their mouths together in a slow, erotic movement.  The intensity of it was sending them both beyond reason, into that place they knew only together, that place of pure joy where nothing else existed.  Brenda slid his jacket from his shoulders and untucked his shirt easing her searching hands underneath it to find his strong, smooth skin.  Sonny took her hands in one of his and reluctantly broke the kiss to whisper, "Just let me love you, Brenda, let me show you how I want you."  His choice of words along with his sexy voice whispering her name took away her last vestige of caution, if there ever was one.  And she let him lift her hands over her head in an unspoken promise to leave them there awhile.  Sonny locked his black, gorgeous eyes with her beautiful brown ones and stroked her cheek with the outside of his fingers.  As he held her eyes mercilessly, Brenda could feel his fingers moving slowly down the front of her shirt, then she felt the cool air touch her skin.  She hadn't thought to wear a bra today, or ever again, in her state of mind this morning.  And though inside she was flaming with desire, it was cold in that cabin.  Her nipples hardened in immediate response to it.  Only then did Sonny break their gaze.  He took her in with his eyes, very, very slowly, in the most intimate of caresses, without actual touch involved.  His eyes darkened even further as the desire swept through him.  Then he slid off her boots and unbuttoned her jeans, removing them,  along with her panties, in one fluid motion.  Though Brenda's eyes were closed, as the moments passed she could feel his eyes inflaming her, branding her, wanting her, but determined to hold off.

    So there they lay, her on her back with her arms stretched over her head, completely nude except for the shirt that was unbuttoned and pushed back, but not removed.  Her eyes were clenched tightly shut and her hair was a spray of dark brown silk spilling over the floor.  Her skin was smooth and milky and writhing slightly under the combination of Sonny's gaze and the contrast of the fire of that gaze, her own ignited craving, and the  freezing temperature of the room.   Sonny never could get enough of her; of her beauty, her taste, her smell.  He looked on her and soon his hunger overwhelmed him.  He stroked her face with his fingers, his thumb outlining her eyebrow, and he couldn't control the ache dripping from his  voice as he murmured, "Baby, show me your eyes."  Brenda's eyes fluttered open and found themselves melting into his.  He had removed his own
 clothes and he sat over her lap.  He held her eyes as his hands finally began to roam her body, over her stomach to her breasts, massaging the soft skin and pinching her hard, excited nipples.  Her body arched into his teasing hands and her eyes glazed over with yearning.  Sonny loved to watch her while he touched her, he loved how her body reacted to his.  His own intense eyes took on a mischievous gleam as he saw his control over her, his power to make her respond or tease her into
torture.  She was his in every way, and she couldn't hide it.  He continued kneading her breasts as he lowered his burning mouth to her left nipple, never once breaking eye contact with her.  He could see nothing but pure ecstacy in her shining eyes and her ragged breathing.  He took her nipple in his teeth, biting gently but firmly and rolling his hot tongue all around it.  Brenda could stand it no longer, but as she began to wrap her legs around his waist, he sucked at her nipple a last time as if getting the last drop of candy, then he raised up again.  From his position over her, his hardness was ruthlessly brushing over her throbbing lips.

    Sonny's eyes bored into hers as he smiled.  He fingered the smooth skin of his shaft and began moving the tip of it in a circular motion over her lips and clit.  Brenda's scream of surprise only added fuel to his fire, and as he watched her building
and building into her climax, he increased his pursuit of her.   When he could tell she was nearing her release, he slowed his momentum and asked in a clear, low, demanding voice, "Are you ready for me, Brenda?"

    Brenda's voice was a hoarse whisper in between labored breaths,  "God, Sonny, don't stop."  The pleading in her voice and eyes broke his resolve and he began again.  She was close, so it only took a couple of moments.  She threw her head from side to side and let out a cry from delirium and satisfaction as her honey flowed over his erection.  Sonny grinned as he watched her come down from the ecstacy he'd just given her.

    He wasn't about to let her go yet, though.  His fingers played in her juices and his voice was laced with gentle laughter as he said, "You are ready, aren't you baby?"

    Brenda slowly opened her eyes revealing the craving she still felt, "make love to me, Sonny.  I need to feel you burning inside of me."  With that she sent his desire to a fevered pitch, rendering him powerless.  He felt her fingers closing around his rock
hard penis, rubbing the stickiness from her all over him.  She guided him into her waiting wetness as she wrapped her legs around his waist.  She felt so good inside and Sonny started moving within her with ferocious speed.  He looked into her eyes as he felt her close around him, so tightly, again and again.  He leaned in and took her fingers in his mouth lapping up the honey still there.  Then he ran his tongue over her lips.  Brenda's eyes filled with light as she clamped her legs harder around him, moving with him in his desperate rhythm.  He took them to unimaginable heights as he thrust himself into her.  Brenda felt herself floating higher and higher, losing control, not able to stop, not wanting to, higher and higher.  She could hear herself screaming his name over and over.  And with one final, powerful thrust, he spilled his release deep inside of her.  Brenda's own fresh juices came from her with extreme urgency, and she could feel them running down her skin.

    Sonny collapsed on top of her and claimed her swollen lips with his.  She opened her eyes and was greeted with his loving smile.  "Brenda?"

   Her voice exuded pure satiation as she responded, "Right here."

   "I hate the snow."

  "I know, baby, let's go home."