There is only one thing that I care about. Me. Cathari Gebbins. I am the only thing that matters. I didn’t always think that way. I actually cared whether people liked me or not. It mattered what they thought about me, and it mattered what I thought about them. But then, everyone I knew and loved betrayed me.

The first 11 years of my life were happy ones, living on a farm that we called home. I was the only girl in a family of nine, and the youngest as well. My mother and father loved all of us children equally, and unconditionally. My mother tried not to show it, but everyone knew that I was her favorite. I was, after all, the only girl, and I looked just like her.

Alas, all good things come to an end. Tragedy fell upon our house when my mother gave birth to her final child, my brother, Nethanielle. It was her tenth birth, and should have been her easiest by now. But, after so many children, time had taken its toll on her poor body. She became so worn out and her body began to break down throughout the birth. She fell unconscious and died three weeks later. My father wouldn’t let anyone see her, fearing we would make her even more ill. None of us even got to say goodbye.

The death of my mother had thrown my father slightly over the edge. I was now the one who had to raise Nethanielle; I had to be a mother to him. For five years, I was the 'mother' of the house, doing chores and cooking for the men. Funny, though. When my mother was alive, I never appreciated just how much she had done for us. That changed quickly. What little free time I had, my brothers would teach me what they had learned in their schooling. My eldest brother, Auren, had taught me the ways of his weapon, a two-handed sword. He felt I should have some ways of protecting myself, even if it was with such a large weapon.

Things went well. That is, until just after my seventeenth birthday. I was blossoming into quite a good-looking woman, taking more and more after my mother with each passing day. As I slept after a hard day's work, I awoke to see my father sitting in the room. We watched me for awhile, thinking I was asleep. He approached my bed, and did what no father should do. He violated my very childhood, and innocence. I was in shock; I couldn't do anything until he left. I cried myself to sleep that night and every night after that. But, it got worse.

Before long, my father found out that I was not pretending to sleep during his 'rendezvous' with me at night. His excuse? He sees so much of my mother in me. I tried to get away, but failed. Once, ran away, only to have one of my brothers catch me and take me back. Each time I would fight him, or refuse him, I would get lashings with the same belt he hit his cattle with. I had no choice if I wanted to live. He became more dark, and cold with every night that it occurred. He turned me into a slave, making me work his fields, and harvest his pathetic excuse for a farm. My tasks for the day became so numerous, I no longer had anytime to learn to read, nor had I any time to learn the sword. If my brother's tried to help, they got a lashing so harsh; I did not blame them for giving up. He even turned Nethanielle, who I saw as my own son, against me. All of them did. And all of them ended up just like him. This continued until I was 19 years old.

It was only a matter of time that I became pregnant. Of course, my father was furious. He found a way to blame me. The neighbors knew I had never had a boyfriend. And the small town of Shadowdale nearby, had barely gotten a glimpse of me. No one would believe any lie that would be told to cover the abuse toward me. So, he took matters into his own hands, literally. He beat me so badly, that I nearly died. He told the cleric that had come to see me that I had been jumped by a mob while out in the fields. But, my father had not gotten what I wanted. I was still carrying his child.

Not two weeks after the first incident, it happened again. And this time, he got his wish. And so did I, for after this, his visits to my room stopped. He took it out on whores instead.

I tried to tell my brothers the real reason why I had gotten beaten. None believed me of course, and if they did, none would dare say so. My father had brainwashed them so, I couldn't speak a word without them thinking it was a lie. Well, since they thought every word out of my mouth was false, I did begin to lie. It was easy and became second nature to me. I worked the fields, gaining strength. I did this for a few months, until I knew I could leave without having anything to worry about.

My opportunity came one winter night. I awoke to a strange smell, one I quickly realized was smoke. I got up and looked in the front room. Someone had not put out the fire in the fireplace. I could have easily put the fire out by myself. But, I knew if I had, I would be blamed again, and get even more lashings. I checked everyone's room, and saw elven sleeping figures in total. It would have broken my heart to do this to them, had they not betrayed me. I gathered some clothes, and I took my brother's sword. I woke Nethanielle before leaving. I told him to wake the others, that I was going to get water to douse the flames. I left the house, without looking back. I ran as fast as my feet could take me. I ran to Arabel.

I met a few people there. One of them being the Minister of defense, Nordez. He was kind enough to give a few gold pieces. Without even knowing me. I was weary though. I thanked him, and not soon after, I left Arabel, for fear of being caught by my 'family'. I ended up in Triel.

I got lost on the roads, and soon ran into a man, Vlazier. He took me back to the town, and gave me food. He bought me a new sword and some other things as well. The coin that was left over, he told me I could keep! He showed me around the small area, and I met a few others. Two, in particular struck me as nice women, although they have a strange relationship. Faerlianne, and Zhou, I had found out, were lovers. I don’t know how that could be possible, but I just choose not to divulge.

While going about the town, we ran into Beruyl. They wanted to kill some undead, and I figured, why not? We killed some zombies and vampiress' and such. While fighting what I learned was a sentinel, Beruyl had moved during battle allowing the blasted thing to hit me. I had fallen to it. Vlazier, to my amazement and gratitude, had brought me back from the land of the dead. He is such a great spell castor that he was able to resurrect me. I owe him my life. He has proven to me, that not all men are bad. He is one that I am proud to call friend.

I am still in Triel. I think I will stay here for a bit. Maybe I will travel the realms for a while. I don’t know what else I can do. I haven't much experience in anything other than housework and working in the field. I enjoyed fighting with the others, so I may do that. Maybe I enjoy it so much because I wished I could do it to my family. I don’t know. For now, I tell lies to those that I meet so that they don’t know just how messed up my life had been. I don’t want them to know. They will know what I allow them to.

I don’t know what happened to the people that I had once loved. I don’t care. I only care about one thing. Me.