Page Two
Episodes 1008-1013

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1008 - Final Justice
Well Lawgiver, I went ahead on and took a cue from Joe Don Baker! Heck every day is funny dress up day for him!
A float got loose! Oh no it's Joe Don Baker, sorry.
Sprechen sie Deutsch? Yeah lichten sie me!
I needed to talk to a loser!! HAHAHAHA!
As the owner of a lonely heart, how do I stack up against the owner of a pencil? I mean come on, Yes!
Can't talk now, Mike's tripping!

Final Justice screen grabs here!

1009 - Hamlet
Mike introduces the 'bots on "Alas Poor WHO?" (270k)
Before you die, does my palm smell like cheetos?
Well let's have coffee next week. Oh, we'll be dead, that's right.
I'll come back later, see if he's drinking and whoring, then I'll kill him.
Fortune Bras - Hello, have you a need for a Norwiegen nobleman to...
You think you can take me?  Go ahead on.
Wow my uncle's got a great ass! No wonder mom's into him!
Well Htom, why don't you hlick me?
"I like him not."  I like him. NOT!
Please speak up, my tympanic membrane rotted away some years ago.
Now is the winter of our - damn, wrong play!

Click for Hamlet screen grabs!

1010 - It Lives By Night
The bat and I were lovers in another life...that's fine.
"Mrs. Beck,"  You're a loser baby.
Leave the door closed?  What were you born in a house?
And Jerome...You wanna know how Jerome died?
Oh. Well I'm sure I wouldn't have a bunch of giant hypodermic needles sticking out of my stomach unless it was ABSOLUTELY necessary.
Damn I hate it when you run into a room and there's noone to shoot!
I can turn the world on with my stinking smile!
I find I have the inexplicable desire to date Lisa Stansfield.
If I'm ever asked to do a love scene with someone turning into a bat I'll do it but only if it's tastefully done.

It Lives By Night Screen Grabs!

1011 - Horrors of Spider Island
Yes I've been unfaithful, but it was like 87 degrees!
Come on, come on, come on, COME ON!
Gary, thy Lord commandeth...tug down your pants a titch and put on a shirt!
YES!  Eat it loser!
"A hammer, with a long handle..."  That's me!
"Her parents live in Minnesota."  Their governor's a huge bald Nazi.
Don't waste time with the cap, drink! Now smoke...drink...now answer the phone! GRRR
My many "lady friends" will appreciate my caution.
I wonder if my Lightdays with wings will actually get me airborne...
I have a good mind to put this up my butt and entertain at Lollapalooza!
Could there be more goose poop in my front yard?

Horrors of Spider Island screen grabs!

1012 - Squirm
Why Mike Nelson I do believe you're flirting with me! Why Mr. Nelson you're a big old flirt aren't ya?
Well, I still don't have to fix the couch, so eat me!
"Hehehehehehe..." You'll be the first to die!
I wish I could jump on Mike's bed.  NOOOO--wait, does Mike's bed exist if there's no Mike? You better do an easier one! (114k)
NOOO Mike!
NOOO springs!
And if you do start a worm farm, do not raise flesh-eating, intelligent millipedes by mistake.
I don't know if this helps, but maybe you could call someone who gives a rats ass!
Come on Mike, we're gonna go stick our heads in the towel dispenser!
See, it's not true that I can't get wood!

No Screen Grabs for this one.

1013 - Diabolik
He done blowed hisself up! Well more Earth for us I guess.
The SOL is crashing!!! (117k)
We did it! Well we didn't really do it. It was done by someone! Yay! (123k)
(singing) Driving up to the store; gonna pick up some bread....(154k)
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! (113k)
Omaha Beach...June 5th...I was early...
Actually, I was wondering if you guys would be interested in getting a place after this...(131k)
Let's go security guarding now, everybody's learning how, come on a security guard with me!
Is that stud coming? I beg your pardon? (personal fave)
Oh I can't wait to get into my loose-fitting latex sweats!
Doodoodoodoodoodoo THIS GUY!
The beginning of "To Earth!"

Screen Grabs for Diabolik!