These are some real quotes that people I know have said. Some will have names but some wanna remain nameless.

"Gimme a piece of gum, G - Y - M,  gum."

"I just wanna go to sleep; f*ck this work sh*t!"

"I'm sooooooooooooo tight!" (a boy said this)

"Do you know how much stuff we have to learn by friday;  I mean the brain and sh*t."

"I'M HORNY AND WET!!!!!!!!!!" 
                               (Oh yeah did I forget to mention that this took place in the middle of Six Flags)

"I'd rather be gay with a big d*ck than straight with a small one!"

"He's like Captian-Get-It-Up-All-The-Time-O!!!"

"Sh*t f*ck no!!!!!!"

"Hell f*ck no!!!"

"It's comming, it's comming!!!!!"

"I'm gonna fail out of school and have to live under a bridge and my legs are gonna rot off and then I'm gonna die!"

"Don't let me go to sleep I'm  going to die!!!"

"Artie there's nothing wrong with girls masturbating!"
                  (A girl screamed this out of her window  as a tour group goes by)

"The pen, ow ow, the pen hurts, stop it with the pen please, ow ow, as much fun as I'm having right now...ow ow!!!"

"Houdini will knock you up!"

"My computer is going insane!"

"I think it's kinda cool that he called me from New Orleans."..."Yeah if you're into that whole psycho-possesive thing."

"I'm sorry about all the cancer." - Dave's Computer

"Ibabeni njalo bakithi Niga dinwa Nnga phelelwa nga mandla!"

"Lie down!" - girl
"No!" - boy
"Lie down"
"No!"
"Just lie down, and put your thing up!"

"No video taping, no flash photography, and no black children."
     - A ride attendant at Six Flags said this (actually I think she said lap children, but everyone else with me and I thought she said black children....I was scared!))

"St. Anthony is a f*ckin' crock! Silly Catholics!  OWW MY PANCREAS!!!!!! God has smitten me! OWW!! I've just been b*tch slapped by God!"
      - Dave just got cancer of the pancreas instantly after bad mouthing a saint.

"If I didn't have a girl, and I wouldn't be considered a pedophile...Dude I mean them girls are not your normal 15 year olds."

"I should use Blue Velvet (hair grease). Maybe I'll turn black...I bet I won't."

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