Chapter 18
Jessa stood by the doorway to Aphrodite’s temple. Iolaus, Mystic, and Ares all flashed into existence near where Hercules stood, a few yards away.
Jessa ran to Mystic and, with tears in her eyes, embracing his neck.
"Oh, Mystic," she wept.
The stallion nuzzled her and nickered a long greeting to her.
"I know, Mystic, I know – I’m sorry too. It’s okay, we’ll talk about later – alright?"
She then went up to Iolaus.
"Gods, how I’ve missed you, short-stuff!"
"Right back at you, brat."
They hugged each other. There were tears in the eyes of them both.
Jessa looked over to where Ares stood, apart from the others.
"Thank you for finding them Ares."
His eyes shifted uncomfortably, but he nodded in response to her thanks.
Jessa left them, and went to stand again by the temple doorway.
"I’ve already talked to Aphrodite about my decision, and she has agreed to respect my choice."
Jessa looked back and forth between Hercules and Ares. Her face reflected the torment that she felt through to the very center of her heart and soul. A pain gripped her striking deeper than any sword. Struggling against all of the deep torment of emotions, her body shook and she fought to breathe past the tightness in her throat. She closed her eyes and desperately struggled to regain control. Her hands still trembled, but she managed to quiet the shaking of her body and stop the flow of her tears. She wiped her face, drying it. Then she straightened her back.
She opened her eyes.
And went to Ares.
The god let out a shuddering, exhaling breath that he hadn’t even realized he was holding.
There was another sound of exhalation – this time a gasping sob.
With a look of disbelief on his face, and tears in his eyes, Iolaus put a comforting hand on the shoulder of his best friend. Hercules was standing with his back to them all. His shoulders were shaking.
As Jessa put both hands to Ares’ face, her eyes glinted with unshed tears. She blinked – and a single tear rolled down her cheek. It dropped off and landed on Ares’ chest – right over his heart.
"I love you, Ares," Jessa whispered, her voice heavy with emotion.
He took her into his arms. With a deep ferocity of passion, he kissed her.
Suddenly, his entire body shook violently. He drew back from the kiss with a sharp gasp and looked down into Jessa’s face, in shock..
"I’m sorry, Ares," she said softly.
She backed out from his embrace.
"Jessa!" Ares cried in disbelief.
Iolaus shook his friend’s shoulder. "Herc!" he said urgently.
Hercules looked at Iolaus, and noting the surprised expression on his face, he turned to look.
"I’m sorry," Jessa said again to Ares.
She wiped the tear from her cheek and turned to face Hercules.
Iolaus grinned and slapped Hercules’ shoulder in excitement.
Jessa slowly walked up to Hercules, her face open and calm. As she approached him, his expression went from grief, to puzzlement, and finally to joy. He reached out and Jessa came into his embrace.
She looked deeply into his eyes.
"Oh, gods, Hercules, how I love you."
Hercules inhaled a deep, shuddering breath.
"And I love you, too, my genie."
Hercules took her face into his hands and kissed her deeply. Jessa’s body pressed against his, molding itself to his – almost as if it were desperate for his every touch. Then, abruptly, Hercules gasped. His body shuddered violently. In his shock, he released Jessa. He looked down into her eyes in incomprehension.
"I’m sorry, Hercules, I’m so sorry."
Iolaus’ face was a mask of confusion.
Jessa, stumbling, went to stand by the temple doorway once again. For a moment, she held onto the doorway’s frame as if the entire earth shook beneath her feet. But when she turned to face them once again, her face was calm and serene.
All three men looked at her in total bewilderment.
"Jessa, I don’t understand!" Hercules cried, "What just happened?"
"I asked Aphrodite to release you both."
"What!" Ares exclaimed, "Why?"
"I loved you both, and even after all we’ve been through, I still could not decide."
"But to release them both, Jessa? " Iolaus asked in disbelief, "It just doesn’t make sense!"
"What was I to do, Iolaus? Flip a dinar?"
"But now you don’t have either one!"
"Perhaps that is as it should be," Jessa replied quietly.
She looked between Hercules and Ares.
"The three of us were thrown into an impossible situation beyond the control of any of us. Three hearts, four anchors, remember? It is something that should never have happened. Then on top of that, it became a competition between you two to see who came out ‘top dog’ – to see who gets the ‘prize’. And that was unfair to you both."
"And to you," Iolaus interjected gently.
Jessa said nothing in response to this, but she didn’t need to – her tortured eyes said it all. She closed her eyes for a moment, and when they opened again, her face was once more serene.
"As I said, it was unfair. And it certainly wasn’t the right way to build a sound relationship.
"I couldn’t make a choice between you two because even though the love I felt for you both was so extraordinary strong, it was also too distorted by the forced, unnatural joining of our three hearts. Even if I had chosen one of you, I believe that the relationship would have foundered eventually – anchors or no anchors – the scars incurred when our love was new would have damaged out hearts for the rest of our lives.
"So – I asked Aphrodite to release us all. And she did – that is what you felt when we kissed. Without the anchors, the ties of love between us have withered. Look into your hearts and you will see it. I see it in mine."
The eyes of both Hercules and Ares shifted, without focus, as they turned their vision introspectively onto themselves.
Hercules was the first to look back up.
"I… see that it’s… different," he said uncertainly, "But – Jessa, I think you’re wrong – I can still feel… something."
She shook her head. "No, Hercules, I’m not wrong. What you are feeling is what would have been between us had the anchors never been planted. It is feelings of love, yes, and it’s based on the time and memories that we have shared together – but it’s the love of friends only. It’s still love, just another shade from what we felt before."
"Friends…" Hercules said to himself, as if trying it on for fit.
"Yes, Hercules," Jessa said smiling.
She now looked to Ares. "Friends."
The look he returned her was inscrutable.
She went up to Iolaus and hugged him. "Like what Iolaus and I share."
"But, Jessa," Iolaus inquired, "I still don’t understand – if you loved them both and couldn’t choose just one because of that, how could you stand to choose neither and so lose them both?"
"Because of something Hercules taught me," she replied, "He taught me to see with my heart, but not be ruled by it. Though my heart screamed at me not to lose either one, it also told me that to keep them both would be wrong – for us all. I knew I just had to let go."
Iolaus could only shake his head.
"Turning him down I can see," he said looking at Ares pointedly, "But to turn Hercules down? Jessa, do you have any idea of just what you have given up?"
Jessa couldn’t help the small smile that sneaked out of her at Ares’ sneering reaction to Iolaus’ barb, but then she regained control.
"Yes, Iolaus, I think I do – I’ve given up a lot in both their cases."
This time it was Iolaus’ incredulous reaction that triggered Jessa’s smile.
"Please – hear me out," she said.
"Hercules, you told me that nothing is ever just one thing or the other – completely of one side, and nothing of the other. If that were true, then wouldn’t that apply not only to mortals, but also to gods? Even Ares? You see him as totally evil, but is he?
"Ares doesn’t see himself as a villain, you know. It’s a matter of perspective again. In his mind, he feels and knows that his place in the world is a vital and necessary thing – and, I have to say, that I agree with that."
Hercules looked at her, stunned.
"If that makes you uncomfortable Hercules, try thinking of him as a necessary evil if you must. If Ares did not exist, do you think that there would be no more wars? I don’t. Although his methods and motives may be questionable in your eyes Hercules, he does provide focus and direction for the aggression in us all.
"And as you said – it’s up to us all to choose which aspects dominate us, and to which side they lean. Ares may have manipulated me – and other mortals – to suit his desires, but there had to be something in the hearts of us all to begin with for him to work with. And the decisions and choices were – always – and ultimately – ours to make."
She went up to Ares and stood before him, her hands resting lightly on his chest, as she gazed into his eyes.
"And you were right about one thing, Ares – I am more like you than I am like him. When you first met me, I could very easily have become the Warrior Queen that you wanted – and I was – for a while."
"Then why…" he began.
"Because, then I met Hercules and Iolaus."
She now moved back to Iolaus. She smiled into his eyes as she softly touched his face with the fingertips of one hand.
"You set the ‘child’ inside of me free Iolaus – a little girl that had locked and barricaded herself into a dark and distant corner of my soul on that day she saw her mother slaughtered before her eyes. And in so doing, you gifted me with something so precious that I don’t know if I can ever repay you.
"Thank you, Iolaus."
She gave him a soft kiss.
Jessa then stepped over to Hercules, taking his hand.
"And if it was Iolaus that set that ‘genie’ free, then it was you that helped her grow up. Hercules, you sparked in me things that I thought could never exist in the same mind and body of the hardened warrior that I was. You showed me that I could change – and that I didn’t have to stop being who, and what I was, in order to do so.
"Thank you, Hercules."
She wrapped her arms around him and he returned her embrace as she began to kiss him. The kiss seemed to linger on a bit longer than might have been expected.
Then, as she backed out of his embrace, they both kept a light hold with their hands on each other’s arms, sliding them down, until just their fingertips were still touching. And then, even that fragile touch was broken.
She went again to Ares. "But, those changes made me forever into something that can never be what you wanted for your Queen. I’m not ‘just like you’ anymore – I’m still a warrior, I always will be – but now I’m more than ‘just a warrior’.
"But I can also never forget that it was with you that I shared my first taste of love – something that I had given up all hope of – that I had even given up believing in. And for that I will be forever grateful to you."
She slid her arms around him and kissed him. It was a soft kiss, but Ares was moved to pull her close when its depth and length teetered dangerously on the edge of ‘just friends’.
When she released him – or did he release her? – what passed between them in their eyes, was known only to them.
Jessa took up a place again by the temple door.
"Hercules, I know I said that I’m more like Ares than I am like you – but it is true. I have been a warrior for all of my life. That is, at least, until I met you. You taught me that I didn’t have to stop being a warrior, to be a hero. And you’ve tried to teach me how to be a hero – and I’ve been trying hard. But, you have to admit – " she paused and grinned, " – You and Iolaus are one heck of a standard to live up to."
Her grin softened to a smile. "I may not be a hero yet, but I’m working on it.
"And Hercules, that ‘other Jessa’ you were worried about – you know – the one who would roll in the grass along side her horse – the one who would tease Iolaus to near insanity – don’t worry, she’s here, inside me. I’ll never let her die – I promise."
"So where do we all go from here, Jessa?" Hercules asked quietly.
Jessa’s calm composure suddenly cracked, and she found herself fighting tears and a throat that resisted speech.
"I guess we all go where we must – all our separate ways."
"Jessa, we don’t have to," Iolaus said, "Why not stay with Herc and me – all four of us friends on the road – a hero, his under-appreciated sidekick, a hero-in-training, and her horse hero’s-sidekick-in-training."
Jessa could not help laughing, even through her tears.
"Oh, I’d love to, Iolaus – but I think I need some time alone right now – I have so much I have to sort out inside of me. Please understand."
He gave her a soft smile. "Of course we understand – don’t we Herc?"
Hercules smiled and nodded, but there were tears in his eyes. He went up to Jessa.
"This is good-bye then," he said, his voice rough, as he hugged her.
"Only for a while, Hercules," Jessa wept, returning his hug fiercely, "I know we’ll find each other again, someday."
She and Iolaus hugged.
"Hey, try to keep out of trouble," Iolaus warned her with a tremulous grin, "You may be able to get away with pulling pranks on Herc and me, but you better watch it around ornery mercenaries."
"You mean they better watch out for me!"
Iolaus laughed. "Yeah, come to think of it, you’re probably right."
"Bye, short-stuff," Jessa sobbed onto his shoulder.
"Bye, brat," he somehow managed to choke out.
"Good-bye Mystic," Hercules said, patting the stallion on the shoulder.
"Yeah," Iolaus added, "You take good care of her, hear?"
Mystic rumbled a nickered reply to them.
Jessa opened her mouth to speak, but Hercules cut her off.
"That’s okay, Jessa, I think this is one time we don’t need a translation."
The two hero friends waved one last good-bye and set off down the trail that led from the temple. Jessa’s eyes could not help lingering on them hungrily until they disappeared into the trees.
Then she dropped her eyes and her shoulders slumped.
She felt a hand touch her shoulder.
"I haven’t forgotten about you Ares – I just needed a moment."
"Jessa, why don’t you come with me back to my place – I don’t mean to be with me – I mean to be alone, like you said you wanted. My palace is big – you’d never even know I was there."
Jessa looked up wonderingly into his eyes.
"I don’t understand how they can feel about you the way they do."
Ares dropped his eyes – his brow furrowed and his lower jaw slid side-to-side. "Maybe because you bring out a whole different side of me," he said.
Then he looked back into her emerald eyes.
"Or maybe because they can’t see me through your eyes."
"Oh, Ares." She slid her arms around him and hugged him. "Thank you – but Mystic wouldn’t be happy there – and I owe him a tremendous amount of attention for all the time we’ve lost together."
Ares nodded in acknowledgment. Then, he stepped back and lifted his hand in one final farewell.
"Oh, and Ares," Jessa added before he could go, "When Strife shows back up – and you know he will, eventually – don’t be too hard on him – he may have been a little misguided – but what he did, he did out of loyalty to you."
Ares cocked his head and looked at her puzzled. "I thought you couldn’t stand him."
Jessa just smiled a small smile and shrugged.
"Good-bye, Jessa," Ares said quietly.
"Good-bye, Ares."
In a godly flash of light, he was gone.
Jessa just stood there, unmoving – staring at the empty place where all the people that she loved in the whole world had been just minutes before.
Then her legs folded and she collapsed to the ground. Mystic nuzzled her and nickered soothingly to her as her body was wracked with sobbing.
"Hey! Get that horse away from here! This is a place of worship, not a dumping zone!"
A woman came out of the temple. She was young, blonde, dazzlingly beautiful – and dressed in a pink, see-through, baby-doll negligee.
"Hey sister! Did you hear what I said? The only way you can stable a horse here is if it’s made of solid gold! And since he ain’t – move it along before he decides to mulch right on my front doorstep!"
While she held onto his halter, Mystic lifted his head, helping Jessa to her feet. She was beginning to get control of herself again but she leaned heavily on the stallion for support.
"Don’t worry, Aphrodite, he has better manners than that."
"Oh, yeah? A litter trained horse, huh? What’ll they think of next."
"Aphrodite," Jessa asked quietly, "Do you think they know?"
The goddess’ brass finish softened a little.
"No," she replied, "I don’t think they do."
Jessa looked at her imploringly, "You won’t tell them, will you?"
"Well, listen, doll, it’s like this – they’re both my brothers – if they ask, I’d have to tell them the truth."
"But only if they asked you – outright?"
"Yeah, sure – outright."
"Good," Jessa said, "Then they’ll never know – they have no reason to suspect that you still removed only their two anchors."
"Frankly, sweetie, I just don’t get you. Like that Iolaus character said – why not just pick one of them? I mean, Herc’s a great guy, no doubt about that – and as for Ares, I know he’s a little bit rough around the edges – well, maybe more than a little bit – but he is a god, hon! Either way you would win!"
"But which ever I chose, I would lose the other."
Aphrodite’s delicate jaw dropped as she stared at her.
"Hel-looo! Anybody home? Were you just not paying attention when I yanked both their anchors? The way you did it you lost them both!"
"No – I didn’t. I still have them both – as long as I have their anchors in my heart, I will always have them."
The goddess-in-pink put her fists on her hips. Her shimmering golden hair swirled fetchingly about her head as she shook her head in slack-jawed disbelief.
"Honey, I have been accused of being air-headed more that once in my lifetime, but you take home the blue-cake as far as I’m concerned! You actually want to be in love with two guys and not wanting either of them to know it?
"Mortals! I’ll never understand them!"
Jessa just smiled a soft, sad smile at her.
"I want to thank you again, Aphrodite, for what you have done."
"Yeah, whatever," the goddess said waving one hand airily, dismissing her from her attentions. She began trying to pick a seed out of her teeth with a long pink-painted fingernail.
"Damn figs! Whose idea was it to created them with so many seeds in the first place? I’ll have to ask dad to see if he can do anything about it. Maybe I’ll just stop accepting them as offerings in my temples – I like dates better anyway – and they’re a fruit that’s sensible enough to have just one seed!"
By the time the vacuous goddess had concluded her ramblings about plant reproductive organs, Jessa and Mystic had already disappeared into the forest.
"You know what?" said a sneering voice, "For such a kick-ass warrior, she sure does cry at the drop of a helmet, doesn’t she?"
Strife slinked out of the shadow he had been hiding in.
"What? Who?" Aphrodite asked him with a blank look in her sparkling blue eyes.
Strife rolled his eyes.
"You know! Jessa!"
"Jessa who?" the goddess asked in total disinterest as she scrunched up her finely featured face as she concentrated on getting at the fig seed.
Strife waved his hand in front of her face. The movements were accompanied by little whooshing noises.
"Hel-looo! Now who’s not at home! You know, the blood-haired-barbie-doll that left here riding on her little horsy just about two seconds ago!"
"A horsy?" the gossamer-garnished goddess responded brightly, "Is it made out of gold?"
Strife squinted and peered intensely into one of her ears.
"You know, if I try real hard, I can almost hear the termites munching around in there."
Aphrodite held up her finger with the fig seed perched on the nail tip, grinning in triumph.
"I got it!" she exclaimed showing it to Strife with glee.
Strife rolled his eyes again and threw his arms up in defeat.
"Why do I even bother!"
"What about the barbie-doll chick?" Aphrodite asked.
Strife slapped his hand to his forehead. "Oh, so now that has finally percolated through to that rental-warehouse you call a brain!" (In the goddess of love – thought travels at the speed of… the speed of…of… uh, come to think of it, maybe ‘speed’ is the wrong word to use altogether.)
"So!" Aphrodite insisted impatiently, "What about her?"
Strife held out his opened hands, opened his mouth to speak – and froze. His eyes blinked several times, rapidly. Then he put his hands on his hips and snapped his jaw shut.
"You know what?" he said with incredulous awe, "I have absolutely no idea what I was going to say, now!"
"Humph!" Aphrodite sniffed in self-justification, "So, who has ants eating their hair now! Oh! And that reminds me." A gold-handled hairbrush suddenly flashed into existence in her hand and she began brushing out her hair – it had, after all, been over an hour since she did it last.
Strife made a noise of utter frustration and shook his head in absolute defeat. He crossed his arms and leaned against the temple doorway, looking down the deserted path into the forest.
"I wonder if she knows," he said quietly to himself.
"No, she doesn’t."
Strife twisted his skinny little body around and looked with suspicion at the suddenly focused goddess of love with narrowed eyes. But then he shrugged it off and turned back around.
"Well you can bet your last dinar they won’t hear it from me!"
He suddenly turned back around to face Aphrodite.
"Now listen, Aphrodite! If you want to tell her that that highfalutin Hercules is still in love with her, go right ahead – I could care less! But whatever you do, don’t tell her that Uncle Ares is still in love with her! That would be all I need! Before you know it, she’d be slutting her way right back into his cod-piece in nothing flat!"
Aphrodite raised a golden eyebrow and stared at him sternly.
"Are you presuming to tell me, the goddess of love, how to conduct herself in the matters of her field of expertise!"
"Aw, come on, Aphrodite!" Strife begged sincerely, "What’s she to you? She’s just a mortal for Gaea’s sake! Come on – us gods have to stick together!"
"Well, Ares is a god, and Herc’s half-god! And besides that, they’re both my brothers!"
"Have a heart, Aphrodite! You told her you wouldn’t tell! Why not do the same for me?"
Aphrodite crossed her arms over her perfect and bountiful breasts and pursed her sensuous mouth in thought.
"Well…"
The look on Strife’s face was truly piteous to see.
"Well, okay…" she conceded in seeming reluctance.
Strife grabbed her hand and began kissing it feverishly.
"Oh, thank you, thank you, thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou… You won’t be sorry!"
Aphrodite snatched her hand back with a look of disgust.
"Eww! I’m sorry already!" She tried to wipe the back of her hand off against a marble pillar.
"How’d you ever even think up that whole ‘anchor’ and ‘ties that bind’ baloney in the first place?" Strife exclaimed in amazed admiration, "I can’t believe that any of them bought that load of crap!"
Aphrodite beamed.
"It was rather brilliant wasn’t it?" she said in self-congratulation.
"Well," Strife said, "I’m just glad that it’s finally over and things can get back to normal again!"
He heaved a great sigh of relief and leaned back against the doorway again.
Aphrodite went back to her seemingly endless primping rituals.
After a few moments, Strife turned his head to look at Aphrodite again. She was kissing her reflection in the highly polished marble wall and giggling.
"Why do you suppose she said that about me?" Strife asked her, "About Uncle Ares not being too hard on me, I mean."
Aphrodite looked at him slyly from out of the corner of her eye.
"Jessa has a big heart – there’s room in it for many. Even for you."
Strife stared at her for a long, intense moment.
Then he made a snorting noise.
"Right… and I’m a snake-haired gorgon!"
Disclaimer: No ferret-faced, mealy-mouthed, thin-lipped, weak-chinned, pasty-faced, snot-nosed, boney-assed, absent-minded, addle-brained, sniveling, impotent, cowardly, gutless, weaseling, witless, skinny, slimy, stupid, hooligan, worthless-excuse-for-a-nephew godlings with a name-complex were harmed during the production of this piece of fan fiction. Well… maybe just a little.
Email: fanficbeth@aol.com